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 Feb 2012 douglas chesa
Icarus
i saved a cup of tears 
squeezed from the cracks of my heart
by the venom of your ruthless rage
held it as long as i can
hands trembling with hope 
that i would not spill one bit
on your ******* cheerios
i see hazy matter on the fluid 
settle in the bottom 
and like shame, it clouds everything
if stirred unsteady.
and yes, light does not get there below
where it is cold. 

i cannot see where i am going
my vision is blinded by blood welling,
milked by the powerful strangle
of your vicious words...
for now, i just let it drip on this illogical cup 
that now runneth over
upon my tired, aging hands

tomorrow, i will build another vessel
close my eyes
rest my hands
seal the wounds of my heart
and go to sleep forever...
Why does no one hear my cries,
Sees the truth behind the lies.
I'm screaming, yet no one knows
That the aching pain within me grows.
I want to show the world my pain,
To shock the masses, change the sames.
I want my voice to touch the stars,
But my words are silenced, I hide the scars.

My bed is my comfort, but everyone knows,
With a partner to move with, seeds of loneliness grows.
And while the pain is unhinging and turning my smile,
Maybe fake love will buy peace for a while.
For while the game when played is always a thrill,
You feel the ache after when everything is still.

I try and fake it, saying, "I'm fine."
There's a darkness where my heart used to shine.
I'm tired of "okay", I'm tired of "fine".
I just want someone to see the pain inside.
Someone to pull you from the fake " I love you"'s
Because, let's be honest, when are they ever true?

And though I'm searching for someone to set me free,
To break the chains and comfort my screams.
Maybe the person I've been searching for
Hasn't been hiding like before.
Maybe the person to help me through,
To hold my hand, is coming soon.

Perhaps the person to sing my song
Has been there for me all along.
Though I find it hard to believe,
I mean, no one else believes in me...
The person to help me, to let my voice free,
Is simple, unimpressive... Me.
What I love about you

Your resilience throughout any kind of weather
makes you the strongest person I know.

The way that your smile infects the crowd
as your carefree spirit constantly gives.

People of all ages flock to your energy
like moth's to a flame.  I sit back
and sometimes watch the way you move.

There's some kind of magic in you
something that all of us crave
maybe the smile, the grace of spirit,
the tears you shed with us or for us

You bring out the best in me
I will love and treasure you always
you are my Earth Angel.
Born from the heavens and gifted
to all those who get a chance to love you.

I was reminded of all these moments
last night
watching you in the crowd
it's like you have a light that shines
I will treasure you always my friend,
your magic is my magic.
To T..xo
 Feb 2012 douglas chesa
Icarus
my hand seem steady now
filled with dark earth
that i toss reluctantly 
into the grave you dug
for my heart.

i see it its last pulsations
almost as if it found its epiphany
in the deep shadows
where you once found me
with your smile. 

the cold february air
wraps it with an essential numbness
as it drifts off to a silence
as loud as the anguished howl
in my perseverant brain.

i mourn for my heart
slipping from your shaky grip.
strange how strong inertia feels
when you hit bottom, 
the sound of sadness
is unbearable.
I can feel his breathing
pull
through his neck,
the stream running clear
in his throat, desire melting
from his arms.

I never needed anyone,
he says
from a warm hollow down
within, I only needed myself
and I liked it that way. His tears
contradict him.

We share one of those
dark, sweet
kisses and he keeps his
eyes open, straying from me
out to the colder places, where
I've never been.

My crushing heart never
needed
anyone like this. The aching
locks where keys will never fit,
where cups lie emptied on the
***** ground.

Those long fingers I love
pause
against the grass, sunlight
breaking over his face, streaking
swirls across his clouded
brow.

His wild jungle heart bubbles
alive
beating crimes into the hollow
of my cheek, I never try to resist
when I find a heart so deliciously
lost and broken.

The baby bird in his chest has
flown
and I come home to the blues of
my windowpanes, grace in the
unholy whispers, thoughts engulfed
in the tide.
Another poem for someone who needed one a long time ago. This one feels a little rougher to me, so any feedback, as always, is appreciated.
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