It was mid-Summer night
He thought that he might
Ask for her hand
As they strolled on the sand

He said I'll love you for all of time
If you just promise you will be mine
But alas his love was blind

For when he met mother
His vision recovered
And quickly he changed his mind

I've been trying to write all day because things are ending for me
and I've been trying to find a way to tell you about it.
But it's merely been a lot of empty conversation
between me and my mother as she unpacks grocery bags after grocery bags
of food I haven't eaten all day.
I've spoken to the vase of flowers across from me about you.
Stared at the yellow center just searching my broken mouth
for the absolute way to tell you how sorry I am
that I didn't love you in all the right ways I could have.
How I want to believe in now instead of then and how I want
you to be here and hold my hand as I try to make some sense
of why such bad things happen to such good people.
How I'm not going to see you everyday come the end of summer.
How a huge part of myself is over and how I always thought I'd never be
that upset until I looked over at you and realized
that soon enough you'll disappear and I'll be left here.
I'll be left here without you looking over at me.
And I've been trying to write about that.

Been trying to write about it all day when it's 40 degrees in May.
How impossible it is to feel even colder than that
when I'm wrapped in blankets sitting in my kitchen chair
with gray light for reading all the words I just haven't written yet
about anything that I feel or anything that I want to say to you.
I want to tell you that I love you and that I hope we wind up together.
That I don't know what to say a lot of the time, but you help me
get everything out
and maybe that's not tonight .

I've been trying to write about the nostalgia that chokes me after midnight.
How I'm so tired of being lonely.
I just haven't written a thing all day and it's killing me.
I don't know what to say a lot of the time, but you help me
get everything out
and maybe that's not tonight, and maybe
after all this time I don't really need you to be mine.
But a lot of things are ending for me and I've got
so much more that I need to say.

When the moon light shown, on the lake deep blue
You stood next to me on a bridge admiring the hue
I wondered then if this was a dream,
For making you mine was a fantasy.
The twinkling of stars decorated the sky
Looking into your eyes, it had a divine shine
You held my hand as we walked down slow,
I wanted to dance like a floating boat.
We stepped on the grass that was sprinkled with rain
Monsoon was here, the best time of the year.
We sat by the lake, your reflection so clear.
Like a teenage boy, you smiled and blushed.
Dear Lord, I had an adrenaline rush!
You pulled out a ring that smiled with glee,
And you said “Will you marry me?”
A shiver down my spine, my heart beating fast,
My skin stood up, and I blushed!
My hand felt cold and froze like ice.
I was floating like a feather, on cloud 9
You waited for me, with curious eyes.
Would she say yes? Or simply smile?
I took a deep breath and was ready to reply…
When “THHUUUD”! The door open wide.
I ****** and turned my head to see…
You walked down the street with utmost speed.
I sadly sighed and watched you go,
Wondering what it would be like, to walk beside you…
Very slow…

walking up the cold creek
thinking about the broken
branches that fall into

the water of the world,
thinking about the
poisons that pollute

the water of the world,
thinking about the
curses that make us

fall and drown and yet
today i have to say
the birds still sing

so beautifully i'm so thankful
for the brothers
and the friends
and the family

and i can say
well, bird, well,
hello, you,

many thanks
for
listening

the moon-stars

i wish
i could

change
the
world

I was trying
to say that
the ocean and

the night sky
are two of
my closest friends

that we are
called to be
two of the

dreamers, of
those on the
paths of silence

who often find
themselves with hands
and heads pressed

up against the
wailing walls of
a world where

man has power
over man to
his hurt.

Yet Love waits
like a pool
of stars on

the ocean’s face
waiting for us
to step into

it; friend,
brother,
I was trying

to say:
Christ never leaves
me orphan nor

you