Paranoia, Frighten, Crowds, Petrified
I Can't Deal, I Cannot Cope, Frozen In Place
Moving Through, Crowds Of Many, No Method
No Order, Push, Shove, Bump Me, Help

Someone Help Me, This Crowd, Suffocate
Sweaty Palms, Drip Drip, Where Am I
Why Am I Here, Why Leave the House
What Am I Doing, No Safety, Where's Home

Someone Save Me, I Need To Escape
Breathe Breath, Remember To Breathe
I Need A Way Out, Anxiety Attack
Bad Choices, Don't Move, No Hope

I Can Not Do This, I Must Leave
I Need Out, Looks Of Judgement
Musn't Do This Again, HELP HELP!
Petrified, Crowds, Frighten, Paranoia

I keep remembering the day I told you
About what happened to me.
I caught you before you left to go workout
After class and I smiled at you.
You smiled back, asked me, "What's up?"
And cocked your head to the side to
Send me back that boyish smile of
Yours my way.

I stepped closer (into the vicinity of your enticing cologne)
And I said, "I have an issue."
You looked into my eyes deeply and stepped closer,
Not knowing that you might need the extra room
Between us for later. Your voice dropped from
A carefree tone to a profound tone in which
You only knew to take because of what you
felt in the air between us.

You asked, "Is it boy issues?" And you looked at me
So intensely that I knew I just couldn't bear to
Say it anymore.

I tried to laugh it off, I backed up a bit and
I started for the door. I said back, "Yeah,
It's something like that." And I said goodbye.
I could hear it in your voice as you
Told me 'goodbye' that you
Wanted to listen, but you just
Weren't so sure of
How to say
It.

Sometimes I look at you and wonder if you actually like me.
Your eyes are bright and full of hope, yet there is still mystery in your gaze.
Life is much similar, giving us false glimpses of hope, only to fail us later with deception.
I fear someday too, that you will fail me, but for now I must have blind faith.

The rain pours down on an early fall day;
Summer is weeping before her departure, it seems.
I envy the seasons, and how they can come and go with such ease.
As if they are sick of Earth, and wish to go for a bit.
If I were Autumn, with her brisk attitude, and carefree lifestyle,
I wonder if maybe you would come to appreciate me more.

At times, I look at the rain and ponder if it comes to cleans us of our doubts.
If maybe it was summoned just to tell us, "Your fears are no more,"
And then I realize weather does not have personification,
Nor do eyes contain mystery, only expression,
And that you must like me, or else you wouldn't be here.
I suppose rain maybe does cleans our fears a bit more than we realize.

Her memories are imprinted in your skin
Like a broken record; you are stuck
You can't get over it
You pick up another pill;
You pray to God you'll forget her
That you'll forget everything
The way her smile lit up your world;
they made the darkness retreat for a few seconds at a time.
The way her hair tickled your skin;
It was long and annoying but somehow you loved it.
The smoothness of her skin;
it balanced the jagged roughness of yours
But you can't- you can't forget
And so you pop another pill
Or do another line
Praying to God it will work this time.
The only thing you are doing,
is numbing yourself.
You can't admit it
You once needed her-
and right now, once again you need help
Your pride got in the way, though,
ruined everything.
She tried to scrub the memories from your lips.
She wanted to take all your demons away,
no matter the cost.
The darkness that warred within her,
fighting with her natural light.
The balance was precarious,
but together you prevailed.
Your dark and her light
it made everything better
it made everything seem alright.
Your darkness grew though,
and even she couldn't keep up.
Your darkness overwhelmed her;
she tried not to show it but it hurt.
You didn't listen, or maybe you didn't care,
you just wanted it to end.
Now she is here,
little lines and x's on her wrist.
Neither of you can forget the feel of each other's skin.
Who you are is gone
Who she was is buried.
What did we expect,
When we foolishly let dark and light collide?

There was a girl.
She loved to dance with the breeze.
Her heart used to sing, as she swayed with the trees.

But one day the wind stopped, and out rolled the thunder.
Disoriented and confused, she had many blunders.
How could she have known how deep into the pit she would fall.
She hated her life, but was too proud to shout out her call.
Her scandals have her trapped.
For a permanent effect on the mind and heart has occurred.
Her body as well has suffered.
Her will to carry on is blurred.

She should have listened when she had the chance.
But she was to curious and he seemed so advance.
She thought honesty about potential harm would be an innate human trait.
But not everyone is good in this world, and in her heart she has developed hate.  

She tries to forget by hiding tears with laughter.
But a way to escape her life is all that's she's after.
There's always one in the batch that's just like its makers.
She got the worst of both her parents traits, and she knows where they will take her.
She has no illusion, and she hopes for the worst.
Just to hide from her shame and to make the ones who made her this way feel worse.
Make them hate themselves because of what they caused.  
It's not like she doesn't hold herself accountable but she feels that in her life there's been fraud.

How could you do it with so little a care?
You've destroyed a healthy life.
How is that fair?

She was honest about herself, and you have stolen her hope.
For her quality of her life, she has little faith.
I hope one day you read this and you compare it to yourself.
Are you the one who destroyed her?
The one so easily sabotaged her health?
Can you admit it?
Can you walk with your head held high?
I pray that when she takes her last breath, you feel in your heart her last bitter sigh.