You given me all of you
Laid it all out on the table
Told me all of your secrets
Shown me who you truly are
You are comfortable with yourself
I am not
I still can't seem
To let my walls down
Tell you my secrets
Show you who I truly am
Cause I truly don't even know
Even still
You tell me you love me
But I've realized now more than
Ever I don't deserve you
I can't tell you I love you because
I can't even tell myself the person I
Should be most comfortable with
I can not tell myself I love me
Because I honestly don't
So I can't honestly tell you
I love you
With out first  loving
Myself.

No, I don't still love
No, I don't miss you
No, I don't regret the things I said

When I said it I meant it
When it happened, it was final
When I walk away, I'm not coming back

I'm glad you can't read my mind
I'm happy you can't see through me
Because if you could
You might just be through with me

Infinity
That's all I ask
That's all I want

Infinity
Of your voice
Of your touch

Infinity
To go mad with you
To go crazy over you

Infinity
Of calling you mine
Of being on your mind

Infinity
Is that too much to ask?

Tonight I
Wrote those notes
That family and friends
Always find
Once their loved one
Has been long
Gone from this
world.
I wrote it
With such ease
And it seemed to come
Naturally
As I started out with
A simple
"Dear Dad"
Or,
"Dear brother"
Or,
"Dear best friend"
And the words
Seemed to slip out
Like I had
Been keeping it hidden
Under my tongue
All this
Time.

-e.w.

It always seems
That I end up
In this same exact
Place

With my eyes
Nearly swollen shut
From the salt water
That seeps from them
Rarely,
But when it does,
It comes like a
Rain storm
Or maybe even a
Tsunami

With a shiny piece
Of metal
In between my index finger
And thumb
Waiting to see
The beautiful red
Liquid that
Drains
From my pale
Wrist

With my body shaking
In fear
That the slices
Will not
Be enough
Damage

Because if you're
Ever looking for me
On any night
At 9:11 p.m.

I'll be right here
In this same exact
Place.

-e.w.