I am not sad today
how wonderful is that?
I don't feel a pit inside my chest
my eyes are dry for all to see

I smiled today
at strangers passing by
I laughed without force
I didn't hate myself

Today was pleasant
I love saying that
I didn't want to die tody
I am not sad today

I support you hypocritically
call you handsome
tell you you are wonderful
apologize for the pain I can't stop

I love you so much
it hurts when you break
for reasons so pointless
the same reasons that make me cry

I say the cuts on your arm
are okay this time
but please don't do it again
I can taste the urge we both feel

I hold you so close
scared to let go
In vain I try to fix you
by holding you even tighter

It kills me when you cry
when your arms bleed
when you hurt
because you and I broke the same

I love you so much
I know you will never read this
but I wish you knew
how much I love you

I want bones to flaunt
hip bones
colar bone
cheek bones
ribs
I want the world to see me
thin
happy elagant
beautiful
so unlike myself.

I hate lying to you
You mean the world
I don't deserve you
you're good

You ask how I am
it is so hard to answer
My words choke me
I say i'm fine

It would **** you
if I told you how
I cry almost every night
trying to learn to be

I can't imagine life without you
but how is this fair for you?
I'm a mess but you love me
so you must not know whats wrong

Nobody could love me
if they understood
I scare myself with my problems
Why don't I scare you?

I love you
please hate me
so I don't break you
like me

I need to start closing my eyes
to all the worthelessness that is me
It's exhausting to hate yourself
More than you love to live.

We are meant for more
not just wanderers
we are destined to move with a purpose

How we run has a pattern
yet to be discovered
Our intentions are unknown to our own souls

Nothing is aimless
all we do has a great purpose
that of which I do not know.

Life is a prowler in the night
It steals from you and scares you
so you cannot sleep or breath when
you know that it is there