Your on a path to conquer my heart
But the ground has been ***** trapped with land mines since the start
Buried so you couldn't see
This trail has been long closed
The warning sign
Has grown fragile
And infected with mold  
But like an idiot you venture forth
Driven by feelings you just can't control
They send you on a surge to try and claim this path
I wish I could tell you it was just the land mines trying to keep you back
If you shall make it past
You will find yourself standing before a forest
With barbed wire hanging from the branches instead of leaves
And this isn't the end
If the other two didn't stop you before
This definitely will put a stop to you
Beyond the tress you will find an oasis
But don't fooled by its beauty
Or you will find yourself in the mouth of quick sand
I advise you turn and walk away
Because you never had a chance

I can see it now
I’m forcing myself to be there
When all you wanted to do was be alone and sink
But I pulled you out the lake anyway
And now I’m the one who’s going to drown

To far gone
Out floating in the sea
Past the sunset
Beyond the horizon
Even if I waved the white flag
No one would notice me
I’m out to far
I could yell
Flail my arms frantically
But i don’t believe there’s anyone out there
Brave enough to rescue me
Until then I’ll just stay
In this boat
No paddles to steer
I gave into the current many moons ago
I’ll let the wind engulf me
And continue to sail

But wait
Maybe it’s not to late
I sold my happiness
When it wasn’t even for sell
Maybe if I just try for 5 seconds
I could somehow escape this cell
No faith in another
To pay my bail
So I hide behind my pride
Eyes shut
Because even though on the outside I can’t cry
I can feel the tears flowing in the inside
I prayed a thousand times
Hoping help would be sent my way
But It just left me exhausted
And out of breath
I just want to make it to Monday morning
But I’ve had enough
The only way I can survive
Is by staying alone in this boat
So I’ll sit here and wait
And continue to sail
Until I can find my way back

Where pride hides
And the truth is muted
Covered by little white lies
Say hello to my bad side
Where the demons bay like wolves
That's moon eclipse the sun
Painting the sky red
Stained by its blood
It's been pierced by a rocket an left for dead
My bad side
Where the darkness roams free
Chasing the light
Holding it in glass bottles as trophies
Manipulation is the way of life
Hate the ambassador
Rage bake in fires
Forge by a missing father
Raised by a tortured mother
My bad side
Slept with temptation
Birth lust
Girls hunted like prey
Only to be released before the ****
Regret has no meaning
It's not found
The world is broken
It's flipped upside down
So rain seems the fall from the ground
My bad side
Where there so many unhuman things found
Say hello to my bad side
Where the grass isn't green at all

Say it out loud
Yell it to the heavens
And let the wind
Carry it past the clouds
Say it like your proud
To be dating me
Say my name
If your not ashamed
To call me yours
And brag about me to your friends
Say my name
If I'm truly yours
And when I'm not around your left feeling sore
And your heart aches
Say my name
If It's me your dreaming about at night
If I'm really the best
Say my name
So these uneasy feelings that you might be creeping can be put to rest
Say my name if this isn't a game
Say my name
Because I've never stop saying yours

She wants to know how much I love her
But baby my love can be scaled
Trying to count the array of numbers
Would be like damning yourself to hell
A number between one and ten just doesn't compare
My love would disfigure the scale
Twisting it like molten metal
Turning it inside out
I would break it like a glass coffee ***
I love you to the point it hurts
Like I stepped on a rusted nail
My love has me chasing you like a dog after its tail
A infinite number
The back trail of it gets lost like colors we can't see
So if your looking for a number  
Sorry but my love can't be put on a scale

She has wounds that time can't heal
An im a fresh knife
Cutting is my skill
Reopen the stitches'
I cut deep
Only doing to her
What she does to me
Time is patient
But im not patient with time
So I skip verses
Cutting in line
Trying to get to her heart
Hoping I can stich
What's been torn apart
Im afraid
Taking out what I can't put in
I dont wanna get stuck
Love is luck
Stitching to close
Getting stabbed by the needle
But with this pain
I gain
More love
Im caught in her stitches
Were to tight
You can never tear us apart
You can try tho good luck

Leaving the past behind is hard when it scorched your path
The future covered in ashes
A steady breeze blowing it back in your face
Choking on memorizes that can't be erased
Making it hard to forgot
Polluted airwaves
From a tragic event
Now the trek you on has been permanently marked
Each step taken
The ground gives at your feet
Beaten to a pummel in advance
Now every advance you take makes you think it will all end the same
The future, today's past
Makes moving on impossible
When you have a scorched past

Yeah I got a couple loose
The result of this word
My brain resembles the mechanics of a ticking clock
It's lost it's tick
It's tock
My gears are rusted
From the constant rain
Drenched from the constant pain
I need to be taking back to my maker
The creator of me
Back to the factory
I am a machine
Created on a assembly line
That's lost its usefulness
My gears gets stuck when you turn me on
I need to be update
I'm a antique that's lots its value
You discovered me
Un buried me
Then left me to rot
When you notice I didn't work right
But all I needed was a touch up
Just needed to put my screws back in there right place

As you inhale
So do I
But not in the same way
You inhale to drown yourself in the feeling of love
It courses through your veins
And camps In your lungs
Engulfing your heart
And as you exhale  
Your release your love in a cloud of smoke
I hold my breath
Trying not to breath it in
Scared of the long lasting affect
Trying to protect my health
You inhale and exhale again
You step towards me
Expelling smoke from your mouth  
Your love in the air
I take a step back
The gassy odor stains my clothes
Seeps into my skin
Chopping my breathing as it chokes me
Your eager to take another inhale
To breath it in
I'm just afraid of the second hand smoke

I don't know if I can see this through
Lately I've been having seconds thoughts
Never had any regrets
But maybe this was a mistake
I don't know how many disappointments I can take

She wanted him to want her
She had plans to **** the kindness in his heart with her wickedness
That was her evil deed
Said she would do anything to please
Whatever the request she would meet his needs

His lust of the flesh kept him trapped here
Intertwined in her arms
He's not a drinker
But his head rushed from the beers
Falling for her seduction one of his fear
But heard giving in was sweet from his peers
He was weak anyway
When it came to sin
It soaked in his skin
Became an ink stain within
Hard to remove
*** is what he wanted
But for that he would have to give up his soul

No love would be involved
She assured him
Let's keep this simple
Know one would ever know
That girl your dating wouldn't discover this ***** secret
What we do hidden
Between me and you
Give in like you did with the photos
Baiting him
Worlds silky smooth
Sweet like honey
Convinced him to set his innocence aside
He was angry inside
As much as he didn't want to do it
He finally gave in to her seduction

I’ve never known you
I wish that wasn’t true
You live inside of me
I can hear your footsteps echoing
As they pound against pine wood floors in your bedroom
You’ve must have decided on the room in my head to lay you own
Because when you sleep I can feel your snoring trickling into my jaw bones
And redecorating must not be your forte
It tickles me how you clumsily drop things everyday
You nail at my skull constantly
As you try to get the frames you banged in to stay
And god I hate it when the hammer catches your nail
Because when you yell
Your screams rings in my ear
Like a small child playing with a doorbell
When you dust it’s hell
It gets caught in my nose
Like gum on clothes
Buts it’s all worth it
Because when you laugh it sets a fire In my soul
And makes me wish I wasn’t so cold
It seems as so
Your the girl of my dream
But the thought of loving someone like you
Dies behind my eyes

You do this to yourself
If it was just you and me on this earth
You still wouldn't think you were the last girl left
So convinced that it isn't just you
You believe you can hear her breathe
Yelling whose footprints are these
Even though it's you who trail behind me
So blinded by jealously
I've already committed infidelity

The trek of my deceased ancestors never seem so long

I wear shades
To hide my eyes

A raging storm sits behind them
Stained red from constantly fighting back the high tides

But id die a thousand deaths before I ever cry

I wear shades so you can’t see my eyes
I’m afraid the longer you stare

The quicker you’ll become aware
Of how they’re so empty

Lack sympathy
And dead inside  

I wear shades
Not to save them from the sun rays

But to hide from everyone’s view
They make me invisible

There was only one person
Who I ever wanted to see me

But she walked away
And left me with these shades

Her love
Is a ray of sunshine
It’s piercing bright
And I’m so afraid i cover my eyes
And run from her light
It’s so strong
And even though she’s not around
I can still feel how it pulsates
Every fiber in me gravitates towards it
But she doesn’t understand
How much I am a broken man

What I don’t show
There’s no love to give
It’s all be taken by the darkness
Thats bunkered down within me
And each time I go up against it
Another piece of me is just torn apart
From my soul
To my heart
She just might be my last chance
But if I go at it once again
I might not come back
The same man
As when I went in

If you looked out your window  
It's my eyes you would see
Peeping in
Watching you clean dishes over the kitchen sink
And I could feel my heart sink
You glanced out
Overlooking me
Standing right in front of you
This made me angry
And sadly
I wanted to lash out
And thrash you
Pound you into the ground
Treat you like the trash I was branded as
But I wouldn't dare hurt you
So madly in love
I could stand here for hours just staring at you
Frozen in place
Lost in the depth and portrait like features of your face
The sight of your long red hair
Gave me chills
As I forced myself to imagine how it would feel
So lost in the thrill
My thoughts were so strong
I begged they became real
Caught up in our reality
Only to the sound of my heavy breathing
I was snapped back on track
And as I relaxed
You were gone

I watched you get undressed
So nervous  
I became drenched and soaking wet
As I started to sweat
I was your personal security system
Monitoring you
Until you feel asleep
Inside I stared to cry
Unable to watch you dream
I wanted to shout, punch and scream  
I could no longer stand the view from here
You I wanted to be near
I borrowed the spare key you hid
I figured it was put there purposely
For me
Even though I wasn't suppose to be within 100 yards of you
I always let myself in
This wasn't the first time
I would take a tour around your house
Roam through your fridge
And take a bite of the cookies left out
After I would quickly sneak up the stairs
Tip toeing
Matching the rhythm
Of the tick and tock echoing from the grandpa clock
No need to creep through your door
Or pretend that I knocked
It was always open
At the edge of your bed
I would stand
And caress your bedsheets in the palm of my hands
While watching you breathe
You never made a sound
No noise or a peep
So peacefully you sleep
And I stood there
In a trance
Frozen
Like a statue or a tree
I could never stop watching you

All my ex’s drink
Was that because of me?
These are my last night thoughts
And if that’s the case
Take a shot for me
For the time you wasted
Take a shot for me
For the countless nights I couldn’t sleep
Take a shot
For all those times I didn’t eat
Because the stress was to much
All the food forced down
Would end up coming back out of me
Viciously
Take a shot
Until your kidneys explode
Take a shot
Until the regrets you hide
Pour out of you like the lies
And the empty bottle you drown in like ocean tides
Drink until your liver fails
And your stomach swells
Take a shot and don’t stop for me

Day and night
It was your drug
You consumed it
Addicted to the feeling it gave you
this high
Couldn't reach this peak even if you lived in the sky
But suddenly and abruptly it was detached away
Now you feel the side effects
And your body aches
Your appetite for food gone
Sweats in the midnight hour keeps you awake
Like a fein
You sit in the corner shivering and shakes
Depression has become the breath you take
You stop looking in the mirror
Your reflection says you were the mistake
Carelessly you got hooked on love
It gave you life
Now you know it can kills
The side effects from love just makes you feel ill

Her favorite color is purple
But I don’t know how to write a poem about that

The feeling of being numb hasn’t gone away
Since you been gone
My heart is afraid to beat
And the thought of love
Is as uncomfortable as and old seat to flop in
Instead it’s been replaced
With resentment
Against the unfaithful
Hatefulness and disgust
Erupted inside of me like a busted vein
And now it course within me
Keeping the love and trust
In shackles and chains
Oppressed like the black man
Since you been gone
I often wonder was I wrong
Did letting you go for your own sake
Was that a mistake
The thought that I change you
Turned you into someone that was always angry
Was that something I could take ?
Since you been gone
The memories we made still rage on
Sometimes I wish I could just forget
I’d empty all the money In my tank
Into a wishing well
Just to wish away the spell
This undying love you cast on me that hasn’t warn off
Since you been gone
I’ve never felt more alone
Now come back

My eyes burn
Like smoldering ashes have been thrown on my chest
I now know it's time for me to rest
But thoughts mock me when I try to sleep
They bear down hard
Like a car moving downhill
There's a turtle in its way
Then I awake
And I realize that I mistake
What I thought was reality
Was just a dream
But it frightens me because I don't know what it means
And as I think
It stops me from going to sleep
But I still remain sleepy

I can see why people cut themselves
I did for the first time the other day
Not on purpose
But on accident
Moving something out of the way
It hurt of course
I hate how we have such delicate skin
But the relief I felt afterwards
Was better then the pain

I wish I was asleep
I hate being awake

Because it’s *****
I feel like I’m emotionally stuck

I got the worse luck with love
Either that

Or a serious case of bad luck
I wish I was sleep

So I could dream of a better me
Someone who’s always joyful and happy

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes
Permanently

But not to prey
Because sense you’ve been gone
I’ve misplaced my faith

You might think that I’m just,
Lazy

But give me a break
I just hate to be awake

I haven’t seen you do this in awhile
It’s 2018
And you still haven’t cracked your first smile

As I lay here waiting
Watching
The breeze sends a chill down my spin as it drys the cold sweat
I've done this a thousand times
An each time it's taken a piece of me
I feel empty like a bullet shell I just fired
I've been doing this to long
Far away from home
I've forgotten there voices
Their faces blurry
Your memories replaced by nightmares of dead bodies falling
As I'm lost in thought
I get a message
The target has arrived
I regain focus
And stare down the scope
Searching for you through out the crowd
Found you standing in the open
I can see your heartbeat from outside your chest
I can see you exhale
And wipe off the sweat
You seem nervous
I focus again an take aim
But you don't move
You stand there
Like your begging for me to shoot
You check your time piece growing more anxious
Your just another sacrificial lamb to me
I put my finger on the trigger
Take a deep breath gaining composer
The wind picks up forcing me to change the dial on the scope
As I'm ready to firer
I can hear feet teasing the ground behind me
But before I can react I feel a sharp pain an the world fades to black

Stop
Retract and hide
Someone is showing interest
Quickly
Close the door
And lock it
Blasts music until blood drips from your sockets
Do whatever you can
Just don’t let them inside

You promised you'd fight for us
But if I were to end this
You would encourage me to go
Your words get caught in a spiderweb
Spawn up then ****** dry
Guess your vision of us was misled by your own eyes
I promised I'd never take a break from you
But I forgot to messaged you two days in a row
Some promises are meant to be broke
You must think my words aren't reliable
I easily stuffed them behind the wall of flaws because there pliable
The promises we made should be buried beneath the ground
Silence forever
If they could speak lies would be their only sound
Both bound by this undeniable love
But missing the necessary pieces to crown our words as kings and queens
Instead they've been impeached  
Some promises are meant to be broken
At least the ones we've made

It’ll be all fine
Once the dusk comes
Once the morning comes
Once the arrays of color
Peaks
Sneaks
Creeps silently into the airways
The sun seems to escort the moon to sleep
Tucks it in
And kisses it on its cheek
As my lips are withdrawn from yours
I know it eats at you
That when you turn to pull me in
I’m already gone
Gone because I waited all night for you
Only for you not to show
I still dream of you graciously sliding into bed
Hoping not to wake me
But I loved when you embraced me still
Now I sleep alone
Will you ever return I wonder
Sometimes I think of you in the morning
When I’m awaken by the bright colors of a burning sun
There’s something about the mornings
Something about the oranges that tell me we aren’t completely done
Or are we

We were like woven fabric
That got ripped
Unable to be stitch back together
Split at its ends
To badly destroyed to be fixed
This love is broken
But it feels like it's whole
We flourished in its youth
As time passed it got old
An In its dying days it couldn't be saved

Say something
Like you use to
Stop me from leaving, I'm about too
You use to have me speechless
Had my breath in your hand
But you let it slip through your fingers like sand
Can't tell you your losing me
So I wrote this for you
Hoping to give you a clue
As to why I'm so cold
Maybe loving me was to much If a taboo
Say something
The silence jabs at me
Have something to say
Spray your words on me like graffiti
Drench me in your words like rain
Let me know your still down
The doors wide open and your watching me leaving
Stop me from being swept away in the breeze
Even now
You don't have something to say

I can see the lies in his eyes
He puts on another face
There's things he wants to hide
I can feel the lust beating in his chest
When he tries to put it to rest
It just seeps out in his dreams
The man in the mirror
Trips over temptation like a crack on the ground
He doesn't trust much
So the things he deals with alone
Eats him raw and alive
A broken record playing in his head Saying you can survive
His only way to cope Is to sit and pen this
If feeling was an onion then he peeled it away
Doesn't let anyone in
Being in solitude has made him blind
Sometimes the man in the mirror hates looking at me

From myself
Lost in the debts of my own mind
Blessed with gifts mishandle
Strangled by fear of failure
Abducted by violence
Saved by love , Kissed by lust
killed my regrets, Left sadness for dead
Emotions once split
Blended until the lines blurred
Unable to correctly detect which one to feel
Attack by the swarm in my beehive
UnImmune to the stings
Swollen from the venom
Drowned in the honey
Life whizzes by
Liked the wind
When I’m high upon a swing
Landed deep in a maze
Sold my soul to false prophets
Hoping to be saved
Happiness can be addicting
But am I willing
To **** parts of myself
Just to taste the feeling

The concrete freezes my feet
As my legs sink
Deeper with each step into the snow
Soaking my jeans
Drenched
Who knew it would be this heavy
The cool air
Runs down the back of my shirt
Chilling my bones
Gray clouds drone above
Bleaching everything in its tint
How depressing
My arms pressed snug against my chest
Hoping to keep in the warmth
But it ultimately fades
I know I’m digressing
Wrestling with the cold within and out
How depressing
Water frozen mid air
Softly drifting in the wind
Melting as it touches my face
Slipping down my cheeks like tears
Quickly I wipe it away
How perplexing
It almost felt real

These are more then words
An insight
These aren't just sentences I write
The meaning is deeper then they seem
So when you read
Pay attention
Or it'll go fly right over your head
Like a frisbee carried off by the wind
An no it's not for attention
I'm trying to paint a picture
A short story if you will
These words are pictures
You develop in your head
I dare you let me lead you to the edge
Let's jump together
An let your imagination run rapid
I hope it catches us as we free fall
Without it you won't understand
The meaning at all
Not by just the thoughts in your head
These are much more then words
Once they were caged birds
But they've been set free
To choose there own branch
To perch on a tree

Written and never spoken
I put my soul in this pen
Then transfer it to paper

Spaceship
Spaceship
Where should I go
I’ve left earth
Couldn’t live with the humans anymore
I got tired of the deceit, in the white of their smiles
And the lies that sat in the pupils of their eyes
Spaceship
Spaceship
where should I go
Maybe to Mars
Highjack the rover
Let myself become engulfed in the ongoing
desert storm
Falling harder then Minnesota winter snow
Being around these beings for to long
Corrupting
All they do is steal
And **** each other meaninglessly
Spaceship
Spaceship
Please take me away
The farther the better
I cannot stay

Once I looked past you I finally seen the stars

It's hard to believe that she cares for me
The static in my head crackles loud
Her notions that she can be trusted gets muffled
I'm just a closed bottle
With this static noise inside louder then a throttle
Blasting like a jet engine
Whiles she's trying to get in
Everything she does is just diverted by the wind
That's howling
Twirling like a world wind
Blowing her away
Keeping the way she feels at bay
There's to much interference inside me
With all this static there's no way she can reach me

Un appealing to see
Like coughed up gunk
Trapped in a smokers lung
Hidden behind a scab
But it was pick away
Now this rage runs loose
Like spilt juice on a marble floor
Failed attempts clean it up
To much of it to soak up
When you come across this spill it's deadly
No caution signs to warn you
I attack like a frighten cat back into a corner
This rage sharp like blades
Words like lemon juice on a open womb  
A switch turn on that got jammed
Only when the circuits fries out
It when this rage dies down
But even then I'm still angry

Raised to hate whites
The memories of what his ancestors went through wired into his head
So he'd never forget
He plots day and night
What can I do to get back a these whites
He's a slave to his own mind
Life lived in hate....
Fast forward no longer a kid now no he's a man
Living in a house where he's the master
And if you step out of line
One quick smack to the face
It's his favorite punch line
He rules over girls who was lost in this word
Now there stuck
Pulled in his web of lies
But he's the big daddy in there eyes
But to him there just slaves
His top girls whites
So he flaunts them
But they don't know there just for show
And they can't pack up an leave
No
There freedom restricted
Serving a life sentence
Even know there papers legit
How could they leave if they don't have a cent
So they sit, no stand
On these corners trying to make a cent
A descent profit to go back home with
Even though they don't get whipped by whips are chained down to the walls like his ancestors did
There shackles
This life style
So they put on there prettiest smile
And stand for awhile
They tract men toward them
Like a bug to light
There lipstick already bright, glistening
What's on the menu, what does that come with
She recites, got it all memorized
Like a waiter use to working nights
So he buys her for the night
But this time is not out if respect
No he neglects how she feels
He just want to touch and feel
After she's done
It's a victory
How could she enjoy it
I don't know it's a mystery
Why does she go back
Who knows
But the master doesn't care
This is his poetic justice
You hung mine from trees
Well I got yours down on both knees
Still working for me
They both lose
He's a slave to the past
And she's a slave until his time on this earth pass

I never thought
That snippets of my past would catch up with me now

Little by little
They’ve been flooding in

And I’ve lost some courage
And wouldn’t dare dive in them now

Great swimmer, but stranded in the middle of the sea
Even Michael Phelps would drown

And all the while I’m drifting
A boat appears

Circling desperately
Here to rescue me

Written on its side
“Love is the way”

I can see it on the Captains face
He doesn’t want me to stay

But love is what got me here
Stuck, stranded

And to afraid to be saved by it now
So instead

I let it sail on a head
Maybe next time

I can feel it in my knees
It knocks on my chest when I breath
Crawled to my head
Kicked back and relaxed on my brain
Hello migraine

Did you think I'd fall apart
Thought you'd break my heart
Baby please
You'd never be as cold as me
This is a game you definitely won't win
Especially if your opponent is me
I'll break you
All the way down to your foundations
Set fire to your plantations
What you to good to say sorry
Well it wouldn't be enough
You started a war
And these bullet holes are going to fill you up
You could never hurt me
Cause I'm stronger then you'll ever be

You make me want to slit my wrist
Cut off my limbs
Use them as bait
And fish
But right after I jump off a cliff
Trying to embrace the sky
Hoping it will catch me as I pretend to fly

You make me want to down a bottle of NyQuil
Oh how I love its taste
Lay in bed waiting for the affect to take place
Fighting the sleep
As it creep through my system
Like a spider inching in the shadows
Trying to stay out the light

But I don't want to go peacefully
I want it to end painfully
You make me want to jump into a lions cage
Poke it with a stick until it goes into a blind rage
Cut my palms
And slap it in the face
So it can get a taste
Of the blood drizzling out my hand
Like a leaky faucet

Sometimes you make me wanna **** myself

I was lost
Felt like a *** of paper
Tossed to the side
To unimportant to be picked up
I've never felt so low
I was broken
Like fire fly
Who's **** didn't glow
Maybe I should buy a gun
And scattered this wicked thoughts in my brain
But I've never been the one
To hurt myself
By my own hands
I couldn't slit my own wrist
Or even punch myself
With my fist
Even if I ever did contemplated suicide
I couldn't commit

Broken heart
The goal is to depart, sickening earth  

Hurt, Suicides a killer
It'll take you, Quicker then any steel

Instantly
Then any bullet shell

Rope burns
Snapped neck

Broken veins
Spilled flesh

Lost soul since 10 years
Blood filled tears

Devils advocate
Bully magnet

Contract unfulfilled
Until suicide kills

An illusion like everything else
Looking at it is time travel
Eight minutes behind
Bet you didn't know?
That's how long it takes
For it's light to show
What you looking at isn't actually there
It's light bending
Being distorted
By ours truly
The atmosphere  
The sunrise is lies
It's not real
There's no such thing as the sun rise
It's all in the eyes
But it's appealing
Spirit lifting
Heart warming
So go ahead take a look
At the sun rise