Here's a man picked by his peers
Letting go of his fears
Trusting God to lead his way
Who knew he would carry them far
Leaving his footsteps in the ground as he marched on
Paving the way
Leading them all
Black or white
Together they fight
Hand in hand
He knew the truth
At the end of the day
This is our land
Not made for one man
He speeches legendary
His methods no violence
His compassionate actions speak the loudest
No matter the danger
Take the violence
Not barking back with holding the attacks
Freedom was giving
Equality wanted
Earned
By his voice and many
To some he was a plague
To many a hero
That speech will forever live on
You know the one
That's still echoing
His dream
Came true

Face gruesome
some shade of green
Snakes as her hair
Venom in her split ends
But a bite to your skin
Should be your least concern
Beware her glare
Avoid her stare
Or stone you will become
Frozen in time
Forever a mime
A statue for the world to behold
A soul not at rest
To become the runway lane for pigeons
And a landmark by those amazed
You were turned this way by a monster
Who was cursed by Athena
Medusa is her name
Don't look in her dagger eyes
Or be cursed to stone

Her favorite flower in my hand
Each petal I pull
Is pain I caused
She loves me
She loves me not  
I try to forget
throwing the petals in a fire
Made if her pictures
And letters she wrote like scriptures
The smoke it creates stays
It won't fade away
The smokes dances
Twist an turns its way around the room
Into my eyes it burns
I inhale it
It burns my lungs
The feeling of suffocation
My hearts races
Adrenaline began to set in
For reasons I don't understand
An the flower
2 petals left
She loves me
She loves me not

You look at me
I look back at you
I reflect the demons inside of you
Im the nightmares that haunt you
Im the reason you wake up screaming
You try your best to avoid me
Not to look my way
You tried to smash me a thousand times
Failed attempts
I know your scared
When you look at me you dont see you
Im the reflection you dont wanna see
The old one walked away
And was replaced by me

I hate to burden you with this
But you’re in everything I do
It’s like you’re my reflection
My eyes are dark brown
But somehow the eyes looking back at me
Are now a burning bright green
My short black hair
That’s curled with waves
Fans out
Past my shoulders
Now it’s a brunettes brown
My Carmel skin
Turns pale
Like it hasn’t seen enough of the suns glow
If I were to raise my arm
So would you
I can no longer look in the mirror and cry
That means you would too
Plus all I feel is happiness whenever I see you
So I smile as much as I can
Because I know you’re smiling too
I’ve always looked in my mirror and felt alone
But now I know your always on the other side
It’s like you’re in my mirror
The reflection looking back at me
You might be the love of my life
I just hope
Whenever you looking in yours
You’re seeing me

Lay here with me
And hold me please
She pleads
And begs
Just five more minutes
She always says
Ripping my white tee
As she pulls me back on the bed
I hate when she gets petty and upset
She always bring up memories I try to forget
Haven’t I always been by your side
She likes to quote
From the times you would get so angry
And tie a belt around your throat
I even kept your demons a secret
Ever since you were a small child
Remember those bruises
He left you
Because you wet the bed
Now resentment and hatred is all the fills your head
You often say
It wouldn’t bother you if your dead beat dad were dead
And you can’t say you aren’t happy
That your mom and alcoholic ex have parted ways
Or you might still be waking up to fighting and screaming
Between the two
That’s why you were always out so late
You weren’t really much use
I guess that’s why liquor never touches your hands
From your first heart break
Which you never really seemed to recover
It’s been years
And you still haven’t fully healed
But it’s ok
You know I’m always here
I’ll never leave your side
Not even after you die
Because I love you
And I know you love me

Our first time under the mistletoe
Here we go
I close my eyes and lean in
You laugh cause I kissed your nose
Who knew how this would go
Instead of feeling embarrassed I pull you close
Wrapping my arms around you
So close I can see my reflection looking back at me
So close I can see the thousand connection in your blue eyes
Mimicking the stars in the sky
My heart races
Nervousness in both our faces
I can feel you quiver
As your lips are quite smaller then mine
But that's fine
Like a puzzle they'll fit together
And even though it's not Christmas
This time we both lean in

I want to drown myself in a pool of liquor
Sip on the corrosive liquid
Let it slither down my throat
Saver the feeling
As I goes down smoothly
Stinging like battery acid
Hot like melted plastic
More then ever, do I wished I drink
Wish I could befriend intoxication
As we walk stumbling
Hand in hand
Drink myself into an alzheimer's session
To forget these lessons
Until I lose all sense of myself
Once direction becomes a foreign language
Or I lose the ability to speak
And my name is no longer recognizable to me
More then ever, do I wished I drink

Born in hate
Plagued by it if you had darken skin
It was the shackles around there feet
When they were forced to walk down dirt roads
It was the word at the end of whips
As is carved through the skin
Laughed as blood dripped
Mixing with the mud
And splashing on the leaves
When they misbehaved
It was the noose tying word as they hung from trees
Made to keep them from being free
An to keep them stained with fear
Made to punish
As they were sprayed
Whispered in the ear of canines
As they were sicked on them
Created to ******* as they were beaten
Back then the word was made to abuse
Theses days it's stamped as just a word
But it's more then that

He always smiled
Laughed and cracked jokes
He walked with his shoulders squared
His head always held high
Confidence almost radiated off him
He had so much pride
So it came to everyone’s surprise
When they saw a report on the morning news
He had hung himself
Used a double knotted noose
Tied his hands behind his back
So he couldn’t get lose
And wrapped rope around his ankles
So his legs wouldn’t flail
That just goes to show you
You never really know what someone else is going through

He’s no longer responding
It’s perplexing
Because no one knows why
Yesterday he was doing just fine
And in this room it’s frightening quite
Because everyone knows he’s about to die
His mother angrily yells at the doctor
While she stands over his bed
Why! Why!
My baby
This is my son
And he’s not going to die
Devante Devante
I can hear her repeating my name
But the sounds of the world has finally gone mute
And the lights of the room ceiling
Slowly
Fade to black
And if you crying over my shoulder right now
I’m sorry
I tried to fight it
But I just couldn’t fight my way back
I was to lost
Let myself be overcome with pain and misery
Unhappiness was my purgatory
But at what cost
My life
Yes my life
I gave it away
I’d do anything just to feel a little less
It’s why I injected myself
With an illegal amount
Of morphine

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Born in the wild
Raised around apes
As they congregate behind the leaves amongst the trees
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong
But there's no way to escape
I'm just another ball
Tethered to this world to be played with
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Who's been lost for awhile
No home to be far from
Traveled a road paved with un proportional tiles
Conceived from of the cracks I slipped through
No concept of the word love
Baptized In the faith of hate
Loneliness a stain on my jeans
Bitterness pokes me when I'm awake
motherless child
Who wasn't pulled out the womb
Unearthed from a tomb

She asked me
“Now that I’m gone, how does the sun feel’
It feels unreal
Like it’s not even there
There’s no radiating warmth
And when I stop and reach for the sky
It slips through my fingers
I’m just grabbing at air
But when I stand motionless
Does the earth stop spinning
Do the birds that dare to challenge the sky
Do there wings stop flapping midair
Would the fish in the sea
Stop swimming because of me
If I stop moving
Would animals stop living
Would a lion stop haunting
Would a dog stop digging
Would the moon
Escape from its orbit
And head towards earth
If I stopped moving
Would the world even care

We've long stopped fighting with our words
Now we use fist
Here take this...
An uppercut to your ribs
I can feel your bones shattering against my bare knuckles
It hurts doesn't it
That's how it feels when you tell fibs
And lies
But you won't quit
In mid speech
You jab me in the bridge of my nose
Right between the eyes
We go blow for blow
To stubborn to stop
And your swings don't slow
I don't want to hurt you
But you never hold back
Yelling and screaming
Sinking you nails into my back
But I always retaliate
Slamming my forearm into your gut
You drop to you knees
Struggling to breath
Now you know how it feels
To struggle with trust

Be cautious were you lay
Because often we betray
She said she loved me
But every action she ever portrayed
Was erased
When I found out she was kissing another on the lips
While his hands found a home on her hips

Out of thin air comes your tune
It radiates through the room
Slowly it conquers the halls
It seems to put the house in a trance
A state of peace
But to me it brings haunting memories
This use to be our song
Now It sends the house into a frenzy
It awakes a dark beauty
Doors creep open
Curtains sway in the breeze that's not there
Floors creak like someone's walking
Footsteps echo through the hall
The windows vibrate
Soft voices turn into words
The temperature changes cold
And as I lay awake
steam pours out of my mouth
From heavy breathing
Shadows on the wall dance to the rhythm
There the mistakes I made that pushed you away
Emotionally shut off
Love switch broken
The music gets louder And louder
Its ringing in my ears
I can't hear
The words are scrambled
And explosions of notes that don't go together
Blows up in my head
Then it stops
The music box stops
And as the tune fades
The house dies down and sleeps again

Heaven sent me an angel
And I don't know why
I dont try to figure it out
I just accept it, she's mine
And I've fallen in love with her
I only seen her once ore twice
But that's enough for me
Her eyes pearl blue
Like they were taking from a piece of the sky
Able to look into me
Straight into my soul
And I hope she never lets go
Her hair Golden blonde
Smooth as silk
Her face lights up my heart
Like the sun in space
She was sent to protect me
But gained my heart dont take her away
Or this world I wont stay
Even though she's far
Our hearts beat as one
I know she loves me too
I can see its true
I can feel her
I make her stronger
She needs me an I need her
And she's mine
You'll never get near her

I paint it
How I want it
With words
Verbs and synonyms
A masterpiece in the making
But it's delayed by frustration
The lack of patiences
It's so easy to mess up a line
Back to the lab again
Got to fine the right line that rhymes
The colors have to be in synch
Or it'll drive me crazy I'm on the brink of taking the painting an jumping off the edge
The thought of it not looking right makes me lose sleep
Before Its done often I start on another work of art
It's hard to put your heart in it with then ventricles are separated in parts
I want the panting to be remembered
My creativity has no bound
But its bound by me wanting the panting to be better then the last
That doesn't sound right in my head
Delete, Erase
I paint the painting back white
And start all over again
Let's get back to the basic
Sometimes a magnificent work of art
Can be as simple as black and white

She stares at me
Lovingly
With her hands on its hilt
Holding on to the knife she’s jammed in my ribs
But still
I kiss her soft lifts
In response she ****** her hands in my chest
Crushing my heart
So I wrap my arms around her
To bring us closer
But my neck
Only ends up cuffed between her palms
I smile
Even though I’m almost out of breath
My dear
Why do you try to **** me?
Can’t you tell
I’m already dead

What lies in the dark
Is it remarkable like hidden treasure
Or will the discovered by devastating
Like famine spread upon a land
This mystery is like poetry played out with a mimes hand
What makes the dark so creepy
Is it scary how many secrets it can hold
Or how quickly it can consume
Take you whole
It's alive
And has a beating heart
There's only madness and suffering being pumped through its veins
But it's comforting
When the lights go out
No one can see what your hiding

These walls are empty
Just like me
Stale and pale
Cold to the touch
These walls are bare
And naked
Stripped
There's bruised
Dented
Decorated with wounds
And scrapped off skin
****** from the knuckle marks
Left on them like hickeys
They've been pealed
There insides revealed
It's just as dark and cold in here
These walls are lonely
They've never been touched
Windows covered in paint
No light ever gets in
No picture or frames  
Just the occasional
Electric outlet
These wall are empty
Just like me

I wanted to rip the necklace
Right off your neck
And watch the broken chain pieces
Drizzle down your breast
Stare into your eyes as you wept
I wanted to watch you cry
As the charms fell from the sky
And crashed to the earth
I wanted to see your face broken an hurt
I want you to know pain
Like you know love
By snatching what you love off you neck

People always leaves
There friendship and love weak as the summer breeze
Torn themselves off your woven sleeve
Nothing is forever
Their only here for a moment
Quick to disappear as a sneeze
Offered to be around for whatever you need
But can't be found
Promises to help you tear away your suffocating past
But when times get tough gone in a flash
Nothing is forever
Helped you build a foundation of new love
But never there to finish the construction
When they leave it's always in distruction
Turns out they were really here for nothing
Nothing is forever

My words can be more viscous then a tiger shark
Hunting after dark
I'd have it metaphorically eat you alive
While you stare at the moon
And blood leak into your eyes
And seep into your sockets
But no you can't die yet
I haven't written the sound it makes when your bones crunch
As it munch
Ripping and tearing through your flesh
Turning your meat into mesh
Never **** of a poet
Through these words I show it
I'd write you into these lines
Until you faced the sentencing for your crimes
Bind you to a train track
With verbs
While the expressions pierce your nerves and keep you in place
And as the chew chew train gets ever so close to your face
Wait
This poet isn't done
It's just to much fun

Stop chasing her
When she doesn’t even look back searching for you
And stop trying to impress him
With makeup
That hides the true beauty in your eyes
And the tight clothes
Doesn’t matter how **** you dress
He still looks past you
No instead
Go after the girl
That that will run beside you
The one that will stop
And rest next to you
When you’re gassed and out of breath
Look for the guy
Who will giggle at you’re crazy hair
Because it can’t be tamed
Stay with the guy
That will lay in bed
For as long as you do
And reply to your messages instantly
Because these days
No one really do
Stop chasing her beauty
And his rock hard abs
It often false advertisement
Because the burden they carry
With be the end of you

Have I ever cheated nope
But fighting these temptations
Have left me feeling depleted
And the sin of wanting another's skin against mine
Pulls and tears at my flesh
Trying to rip it apart
I guess I still have some resentment of you  in my heart
And the thought of you doing me *****
Makes me think that cheating might be worth it
But that would make me just like you
And I don't want to make that statement that every man is unfaithful true
So I'll stay down
And continue you hang around
But don't you ever forget that I'm perceptive
And I think all girls are deceptive
Have I ever cheated
Nope
Not on any girl or you
And I don't plan too

There's just not enough capacity for you
Not enough room for me and you
I tried to make space but the effort was short lived
Feeling your distress  
I made enough just for you to get a foot in
Hoping its enough to satisfy your need to be close
An to stop this tug of war
You push to get in
I pull away
The swaying back and forth
Its giving me sea sickness
You steady try to gain grown
But im stronger
I dont hesitate to shoot you down
The emotional rollercoaster is like a battlefield
Ducking and dodging try to stay clear
Of the promises i heard them before
There's just no room for mistakes
I been here before
I dont know if your trying to fix me
But what for
I like being broken
There's just no space for you anymore

Now you then ****** up
Confessed your love
To avoid a break up
What happens when she realize
What you said might not be true
I thought you wanted to be free
What the heck is wrong with you
You were wishing to be single
So we could go out an mingle
But instead you renew the relationship that was annoying you
You ******* up
Why didn't you let it die
You were almost there
But you panic
And In your frantic state
You made a huge mistake
Note to self
Next time think
And don't forget
That I'm in this relationship too

There's nothing better then pain
Wanting to be happy was to much of a strain on her
She wanted to take a gun a lodge a bullet In her brain
But she's a Christian
So she's scared of the everlasting pain
Well that's what she'd been taught
****** to hell
If she was the one to cut the string to her own bell
But she's confused
Wanting to be happy caused her strain
And this strain lead to pain
Now she's wanting to end her life
But she's afraid of everlasting pain
In her heart is Confliction
She doesn't know where to turn
So use to pain
She became numb to happiness
But in her heart of hearts just just wanted to feel loved
But this thing called pain can cause addiction
And hurt was her drug
She felt like a walked on rug
A hand me down
She was the one not seen in the crowd
To her the was nothing more better then being alone
At least when it hurts she could feel comfort in her own arms

What's left for me
I'm not depressed happy or sad
Not upset angry or mad
Emotionless
As calm as the sea after the hurricane  
Only thought after thought in my brain
What are they telling me
My brain doesn't even understand me
And yet it controls me?
What a contradiction
Feeling sorry for me ?
Dont, empathy I dont need
It would be a waste of time I don't have
Just waiting on the next wave this world going to throw at me
Taking it head on
Head strong
I'd sell you some thoughts but I'm selfish
Plus you couldn't handle them
Chances of descripting is slim to none
Thoughts mysterious like rain when its sunny
So you get none
I have nothing else to say  
But what's left for me

It’s weird
Almost poetic
That’s listening to a song in a language I don’t understand
Is what sparks thoughts of you
And now
I’m about to say things I’ve been trying to avoid
I’ve locked up the memories in a vault
Deep within me
But bits and pieces still seep through
So here goes

I don’t want anyone else loving you
Because no one else knows
How much she hates her nose
And how terrified she is of taking pictures of her toes
No one will appreciate the beauty In her imperfections like I do

I don want another’s lips touching hers
Because it’s where mine should be
I don’t want his hands playing in her hair until its messy and covers her face
I don’t want another guy staring into her green eyes in my place

No one knows the things she told me
So when she has multiple finished cigarettes at her feet
Or when she’s getting high in the evening
And drinking alcohol when she should be sleep
They’ll never know what she’s hiding
He’ll never know when you’re hurting
Not like I do

You’ll think it’s weird she draws a unicorn smoking ****
While I find it funny and cute
You won’t know what she goes to Mc Donald’s for
He won’t know her favorite drink

You wouldn’t know how stupid she feels
When she pronounces a word wrong
You won’t laugh out of love like I do
You wouldn’t tell her to say it again
Because you just loved the way she talks

There’s so much more
That he wouldn’t know
He favorite color, he favorite show
I don’t want any other guy knowing her like I do
Because even if she’s gone, she’s still belongs with me

What do you do when there's not a person made for you
Do you keep looking
But everything you pursue
Falls apart at the end like you used cheap glue
Cutting yourself trying to put the pieces back together
Over time finally you give up and meet someone new
To you this is just another experiment
You know it's going to fail
But you try like hell
In the beginning you mean well
In the depths of your mind
You know its just a matter of time
Before this ticking time bomb goes off an explode
And erode everything you to strove for
No matter what you want a person made for you in this world
But there not out there

She was born in November
The older sister of December
Raised under the autumn sun
Bright blue eyes
I see the sky's reflection when she looks at me
Face perfectly sculptured
Unique like each leaf hanging from the tree
Graceful like the breeze
Sweet like honey made by the bees
Her hair the scent of freshly bloomed flowers
Beautiful like a trail of falling leafs
Her voice is a soothing melody
Calming
She's a relief from the summer weather
Hoping she'll be here next year
To watch the leaf's  
Doing their dance of colors
Hoping the ripples I made
Well settle quickly
I can feel the cool weather settling in
December comes quicker this year

I shoved her into the closet
Shh don’t make a sound
My mom is home
And I don’t want her to know you’re around
I’m not ashamed of you
Even though
I keep you hidden like a ******* magazine
It’s just I’m not use to this
So for now you can’t be seen

Ok the cost is clear
I’m sorry I had to hide you
But you know the routine
It’s been drilled in me to show no emotions
No love
No fear
I hear footsteps coming up the stairs
Quick
Under the bed
Don’t talk and hide your head
It’s not that I’m afraid
But I’m just a broken person
It might be to late for me to be saved

I have to go to work now
So you’re free to roam around
Just don’t let anyone know you’re involved with me
I’ve already brag to the guys
Me and you will never be

I came home today
You were no where to be found
I checked underneath the bed
Even between the sheets
You weren’t in the closet
I threw out all the clothes
And in my frantic panic
I exposed who you were
You were the loved I kept a secret
The feelings I denied
The emotions I tried to hide
I tried to keep it on the low low
But now
Everyone knows

She's becoming numb to him
She use to feel comfort in there kiss
Now she can't feel the texture of his lips
It's like he's not there
Like she's kissing air
She loved his voice
But now it's like he's horsed
Somewhere along the line she lost him
When she looks his way
Her gaze he doesn't meet
Because he too has become numb
He use to run his fingers through her hair
The feeling of it set him free
Like he was touching a cloud
But now a storm has set in
He loved her hugs
But now it feels like he's touching a hollow shell
And when he does look in her eyes
Love is not there
Only a blank stare
He was her reflection and she was his
But now it's only transparency
They look through each other
She's out on the porch giving her life to a little white stick
Blowing smoke in the air
Using her fingers to draw images in it
And he sits in what use to be her favorite chair
Staring at a muted tv screen
He found peace in the quiet
But when they slept
They dreamed of of each other
Every morning the woke next to each other
And somewhere sat hope
Trying to build a bridge
To mend the gap the swept between them
And bring them back together
Hoping there's still time
To fix what's broken

O these trust issues will be the death of me
Don't really fear much
But with you there's much to fear
O when will the time come
When I find out you lied to me
O how deep does your rabbit hole of secrets go
O I wonder if I even want to know
What have you done
O how much will it scar me
I know wounds heal
But what about the scared tissue beneath the skin
O how bad will it be
Never feared a broken heart
O but how broken would it be
Would the pieces be swept up by the ragging wind?
O would they be cast in different direction
Only speculation is my friend
O these trust issues will be the death of me

They get lost in each other's hugs
Skin soft like a fluffed rug
Sink into each other like a sat in bean bag
Others get jealous from their over bragging
How much in love they are
They don't see the ripples in each other skin when they walk
Or there over bearing movements on the surface of their face when they talk
Their love more sweeter then the cupcakes they bake
Rich like the chocolate they consume
They huger for each other's affection
A bigger appetite for it more then food
They see each other as equals
Not a health risk or a person who can't control there weight  
No love is bigger then obese love

My memories of you don’t seem to age
I can still remember your full name
I can’t seem to forget
And it’s the one thing I regret
Thoughts flash like lightning
And leave just as quick
I drown in them
Sink all the way to the bottom
Like a damage battleship  
Unequipped with life rafts
This wasn’t a war I expected to lose
But you out witted and tricked me
**** these human emotions
I quit
I can either live being taunted my these vision of you
Or set ablaze this dynamite stick
And blow myself into oblivion

Away from the beach
Couldn't stand the stickiness of the sand
Beneath the waves
Lost between the tides
When the ocean waves rise
A step out to sea
Hoping to walk upon the water
Trying to break the borders of this world
But instead of gliding
You sinked
Like you had concrete on your feet
And as you looked down
It was your hands pulling you
Helping you drown
As the water filled your lungs
You finally felt full
The weight of emptiness
Heavier then you predicted
Frustrated cause you wasn't blessed with the gift of being optimistic
So you just sit there
Floating
Sinking deeper in the ocean
Not waiting on a savior
That would mean you've been hoping
Cursed with this feeling that you have to do everything alone
And the lack of cure for this curse
Has made this curse strong
It Imbedded itself in your bones
Suspended in animation
Carried by the ocean

You loved me back then
It made me so optimistic
About this distance
Ready to make you my commitment
You put me on top of your wish list
Love poured out of you
It made me think what is this
If wanting it was so wrong
Then I guess I was a misfit
Back then
That honey moon phase I would've taken it to my grave
When I first met you I didn't know how to behave
My family would've been so amazed
How could a girl make me feel this way
Once upon a time when everything was just fine
Admitting I like you I didn't mind
Saying I love you came easy
Like an actor who learned their line
But that was once upon a time

Struck a vein in my heart like you struck a nerve
Now I’m heated
And bleeding
Didn’t know I was so human
Who knew a small *****
Could cause this much blood
Spent so much time trying to cover it up
That I missed the tears
Pouring
But men don’t cry
So I stepped out in the rain and hid it
Numb today but tomorrow I feel it

My only regret
I didn’t stick it out with you
Promised I’d fight
But when things got congested and tight
I walked out
Wish I never did
Wish we didn’t live on two different soils but we did

My only regret
I didn’t leave you when I had the chance
I couldn’t eat
Nights without sleep
Never thought something like this would happen to me
I was faithful since day one
But that still didn’t stop you from cheating  

My only regret
Falling in love
Again
Despite the thoughts in my head
Warning me
Don’t do it
Falling in love is stupid
And when it’s over your going to feel useless
Realizing love is a combination best served without you

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when I just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when It just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you

He laid there
Frozen
While the morning sun climb on his skin
And leaped on his face
Trying to get him to wake
Even if it stretched out it's rays like arms to shake him He was already gone
But his alarm wouldn't quit
It continues to yell
Every five minutes

Until finally his mom came in
Reached out to touch him
And discovered
There was no life under his skin
It was cold
Like a frozen metal pole
Left out in the snow
In her distress
She panic
Still shaking him furiously
Hands clutching her chest
Like she's going into cardiac arrest

She stood there
Not knowing what to do
Crying and sobbing
Tears streaming down her cheek
Snot strolling out her nose like a small creek
She continued to yell his name
But he never got up

We are the ones who don't fit in
The ones who don't stick to the rules
Some of us were picked last
Some of us picked on at school
You over look us
Miss treat us
Because we're different from you
You see us as shadows
Something that's not there
Some say it's wrong and not fair
Shunned because of our different views
We came up as errors in the system
Mistakes
That you try to erase
Your always looking out
Were always looking in
Come take a look
See what I see
I see your suffering
Hate that everyone controls you
It's what happens when you try to fit
Your as common as the ocean winds
Predictable like leafs falling in fall
We outsiders don't stick to the script
So it makes us rude
It makes us hard to get along with
Well let me ask you something
If I'm so different
And looked down on
How is it this outsider is happier then you

Welcome to my home
And uninvited guest
That swept in like a storm
Sat next to me as I slept
Banged on my chest
Now I know why my heart aches
Pushed away the other feelings
Dried them out like a dessert storm
Now all I feel is you
No your in my head
Beating my brain
I close my eyes and all I see is you
You slumped into my lungs
All I breath is you
Harden me
Trained me not to care
Your the blood I bleed
The taste on my tongue
The aroma I smell
What would this world be without you
How would a heart break feel If you weren't there to comfort
What would a cut feel like
If you were absent at the seen
What emotion would take place if I broke my arm an you weren't around
What would I feel
Let's face it
You wouldn't feel anything without pain

I treated you like trash
Crumbled you up like a *** of paper
Folded you
And stuffed you in my back pocket
Just in case I needed you for later
Your skin was like paper
My personal sheet
That I wrote on
In pen
And permanent marker
Wrote hate you's in cursive
On your forehead
Stained you with footprints
From when you fell and I stepped on you
Tore you in half
When I was frustrated and mad
Then tapped you back
Left you soggy
Black ink
Dripped from your eyes
When you cried
Doodle on you when I was bored
And you wore the markings with pride
Even when I threw you away
You ended up back in my lap
Like a gust of wind blew you back on my path
I'm ashamed I treated you like crap
And you couldn't tame my attention seeking ways

When did I become so numb
You could shoot me with a loaded gun
I wouldn’t even flinch
Stab me with the sharpest knife you could find
And I wouldn’t even yell as I bleed
You could punch me in my gut
I wouldn’t fall to my knees
Gasping desperately trying to breathe
You could do whatever you want to me
And I wouldn’t feel a thing
Because inside I’ve become paralyzed