She thinks she knows everything yet hides a fake diploma

Couldn't wait for you to get it right
With each passing day
Disappointment came at night
Chances you ate like candy
But you get no more
And I can take no more
Like a hurt puppy I will lick my sores
Your number in my phone no longer exists
And as we split
Deleted images won't be missed
Or the times our lips touched when we kissed
I can't get far enough away from you
I want you out of my life
Sight
And mind
And once the memories of us burn
Then I'll be fine

Sip sip
That's all he ever did
Until the words that fell off his lips became slurred
Afterwards
His verbal abuse were mimicked by his fist
Sip sip is all he ever did  
He drank so much
He would stumble through the house
Like his vision was blurred
He sips until the liquor was the sweat that poured out of his skin
He sipped until his kidneys began to fail
His drinks was his cell
And he drank even more because he could not make bail
His pain was deep
So he drank until he’d fall over
Crack his skull and eventually fall asleep
In the morning through the halls
Were the echoes of him weeping over broken picture frames
Faceless portraits
No more family
Abandoned by friends
So he stood above the sink
And began to drink
And what hurt him the most
He could never make it up to his kids
So he drank until the faceless portraits
Had no names

What makes a man stronger, a woman by his side

I started losing my mind
When everyone that said they loved me started leaving
I started gasping for air
When I realized I stopped breathing
Carpet burns on the forefront of my toes
As a result
Of trying to stop myself from swinging
I couldn’t call for help
Because the rope around my neck stopped me from screaming

I sometimes struggle to forget
And that can come with a price
Memories are like ghost
My breath fills the air like smoke
A signal of their approach
When I sleep
They climb into bed with me
Settling in comfortably
Evoking dreams that I see when I’m awake
I have a kind soul and a big heart
But Nonchalant
A trauma response
Thicken my skin not my heart
But as of late
Hate has been making its way in
A result
Of feeling love sweet as honey
Neglect bitter as lemons
The two I mixed, made into a drink
One sip
And my old self ceased to exist
I just wished I was warned it would be like this

Last night the memory of you visited me
As I was chasing sleep
I'm not going to lie
I almost cried
Not sure why
You've been gone for awhile now
I'm sorry I didn't visit you as you laid in that hospital bed
Fight sickness in a coma
Your stronger then me
Doctors said you can hear
Just can't speak or respond
So it would've be useless right?
Like throwing a rock in a dried up pond
I'm sorry I we didnt stop by once in awhile like we did when we were kids
The visits stop **** I don't know why
But I remember when we did come around
You always cracked jokes
Guess I'm not the only clown
You made us laugh like you always do
**** tears are coming just at the thought of you
You couldn't walk
So we never heard your feet
You got around in that wheel chair like a pro
I remember playing foot ball on your ps2
And now that you gone I don't have much to say
But I remember that funeral like it was yesterday
Sitting there as everyone shared there stories of you
An I'm ashamed I didn't have one to say
But the pastor said we should celebrate your going away
So these memories of you you are happy
But it was my job to carry you away
And I feel honored I was picked
But you were heavy that first lift
Body empty as you were towed
An as we carried you to that truck
Thought my job was over I had enough
And as we got to that grave site I thought **** not again
Had my suit jacket off an everything
I'm such a ****
But let me make it clear it's not you I didn't want to lift
The sun was unforgiving that day
Shooting rays at my face
And as we pick you up once more
You were much lighter
You must have given me extra strength
Or the others just organized better
And as we laid you over your grave site
The man in charge said a everlasting prayer
And I would recite it if I could remember
He gave us flower petals to lay over your grave
And I kept one in my wallet for a rainy day
Your memory will never fade
Never die
And I can't wait till I see you again
Some day in the sky
I don't know when but I know it's only a matter of time
Love you uncle bunny
Forever your memory in my mind

Face purple from choking
Slap away helping hands
To afraid to open
Emotions rusted
From the lack of being used
Lips once a healthy brown
Now turned blue
To late to change
Pain is like glue
Once dried and settled
It’s hard to remove
And I’m stuck
Unable to move
To think I’ll be fine one day
Hard to believe
Holding my breath for so long
I can’t breathe

It hurts
But I'm not in pain

To risk trust and know you'll be betrayed is insanity
But it's a risk I was willing to take
That makes me insane

It hurts
But I'm not In pain

These trust issues eat me alive
So much
That there's a hole dug so deep inside my heart
I could crawl in and hide
And if it got cold
I could pull in the sky

It hurts
But I'm not in pain

Anger
A stain that can't be washed away
Seeped into my skin  
And built up like callus  

It all hurts
But I'm use to the pain

Not a single person has ever fought for me to say in their life
Yet I go to war for all of you
And once the battlefield
Has quiet down
Still you’re gone

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

I ignore you so that you know I am here

Why does it rain
When the sun shines
Dude are you blind
It’s just Mother Nature
Laughing and crying at the same time

It’s rushing in
Already up to the dash
Drowning in the pain of my present
Future
And past
And I caused this crashed
Swerved off the road trying to dodge all of my issues
Trapped by the seatbelt, strapped to the seat
So tightly bonded by it
I can feel the blood filling into my cheeks
Even if I could move freely
The more the water rushes in
The will to live doesn’t seem to motivate me enough to try and escape
My head is all banged up
And the pain from the whiplash
Rings and gnaws in the back of my head like a migraine
Skull cracked like the bumper
Blood spills out
Like the water flooding in from the shattered glass
There’s no one riding shotgun
Except the issues
While the anger and pain
Rides in the back seat laughing and slapping hands
But they don’t shield me from the impact
Or stop the full force of the blow
I tried to hide my hurt
Maybe that’s why I ride alone
But you could see it clearly like the tire tracks in the dirt
I’ve always tried to convince myself pain is mental
And the more I didn’t think about it
It would all go away
But now that the water is all the way up to my neck
And breathing is a luxury I’ll soon forget
You can lie to yourself all you want but you can’t fool your own heart

You're going to appreciate me when I'm gone
Who else is going to drive to your house
In the middle of the night
For a midnight talk
Who else is going to blow up your phone
When you disappear
Hoping nothing went wrong
Who's going to send you long *** texts
Every night
Hoping they start your day off right
As the sun rises
Out shining the moon light
Who's going to take you back
After you snuck off
And spent time with your ex
Bet you don't remember me wanting to take you "niece" to chuck e cheese
Before I knew she was more then just a niece
Who else would happily step up
And take care of the baby
Who else is going to stay awake
All night long
Trying to figure out what went wrong
I give and you just take
But you've made a mistake
If you don't think I notice how you treat me
I'm still here
But for how long
You're going to appreciate me when I'm gone

She sat in the corner
Wrist cut
Dripping blood
Stained walls from her frantic fits
Talking to her suicidal thoughts  
She was plagued by a faulty destiny
So she cursed faith
Living with a permanent heartbreak  
Was just to much for her to take
Her parents often reminded her she was a mistake
She was the tool they let there anger out on
Used as a punching bag
And gift verbal abuse
Plus her dad kissed on her when mom wasn't around
No friends
Disgraced by society because she loved her own ***
Death is the only thing she has at stake
To her the world was cruel
Proof you don't have to die to get to hell
God wasn't listed in one of her beliefs
This blade her only relief
This is her religion
She learned to get rid of one pain feel another
The only thing she could control
As long as she has this she needs nothing else
It's why she slits her wrist

How she felt

Could never compare to his

Feeling miserable shouldn’t be a competition

But if it was

He’d surely win

He couldn’t escape his emptiness

It was hooked to his ankles

And his wrist like chains

He would hide in music

Blast it in his ears

Hoping to rebuke it

He only felt emotions as the songs played

And as soon as they ended, he immediately felt alone

But he didn’t know where to turn

And often flirted with death

In the form of a loaded gun and a bottle of pills

Sitting on the shelf

He could never do it

As much as he hated life

He wanted to live

So he’d laid in bed and wondered

Why he felt dead inside

I've forgotten what you sound like
If you were near
What you smelled like
Would be unfamiliar
I can hardly remember what you look like
No calls
Or text
But the silence I like the best
Happy Father's Day
To a father who was never here

The way you seem to exist
Freely in my mind
Thoughts of you on display
Like art in a exhibit
Memories enclosed in glass cases
It’s hard for me not to revisit
How have they been kept in such pristine condition
Who is this person
That’s marked each piece with cursive
Below a personal description
A summary of the memory
It’s the re reading that’s stopping these feelings from fleeting
I must look away
So that with each passing day
I get further away

Assume everyone will betray you and you will never be disappointed

-Tobias Beckett

I open my eyes
Trying to grab composer
Like it slipped from my hand
I choke on the smoke in the air
It rips through my lungs
Every breath I feel closer to death
My head pounds
Like I been hit by a truck
I try to move no luck
As the smoke clears I finally see
A pole is the cause
There's a cracks in the windshield
From where my head met the glass
There's a smash on the passenger side
From where someone flew through
Must be this mystery person
I can't remember who
A lifeless corpse on the hood
Face shredded like cheese
Skin melting from the heat of the hood
I hear the cracking of fire
An the scent of gasoline
Everything is happening so fast
I can't remember what happen to me
So lets go back to the beginning
The memory of my past may not might be so great
But remembering what got me here
Might change my fate

I don't know which way to turn
Or to go
I picked a trail we could walked together
Hand in hand
But we switched lanes
Taking us each In a different direction
Now I'm walking away from you
As you see me go I ask why should I stay
But you just stare pass me into empty space
I try to smile this pain away
But it's like trying to stay dry when it's pouring rain
You were my beat up umbrella
I still tried to make you work
But as time pass we both feel hurt
So this path I'm on now I'll walk alone

Poetry doesn't have a ethnicity or face just its words

She's late
And the look on your face
Tells her your state
So you hide in you mind
And a congratulations doesn't take place
Or a that's great
All you can think is
I knew dating her was a mistake
But it's to late
You already know your *******
The only thing now
Is think of what to do
There's no way you can take care of a kid
Your not ready
It's a big commitment that you just can't commit to
Thoughts of leaving her
Shoots through you
But you know that's something you shouldn't do
There's love there that she feels for you
This mistake
She'd take head on
As long as she's with you
A flawed choice
Now you realized
There's no love for her in you
So what to do
There's only two options
Keep it or **** it
A choice she leaves up to you
Undoubtedly hers
But she's blinded by love
So she follows you
But your not God
Only he can take a life
Not you

I hate the new you
The person you've become
What happen to laughing for no reason
And being silly just for fun
You use to enjoy making people laugh
But now you barley get along with anyone
What happened
What made you so uptight
You use to stroll at an angle
Just because everyone one else walked up right
But now you swear
Thinking of drinking
And blowing smoke in the air
It breaks my heart to see who've you become
You use to have so many friends
But the trust you lost
Made you walk away from everyone
Doesn't seem like you plan on turning back
But what can I do
You never listening to any advice
Even if it's coming from you

You don’t know what I struggle through
I could **** myself
And everyone would be all confused
Thinking I’m just some cheery happy dude
When in reality
I’m probably more broken inside
Then what I put off to you

True love is a cliché
I rather take a bullet to the head
Then think there's another human made for me
Think you could please me?
Please..
You have a better chance touching the moon
Tried the love thing before
The aftermath worse then a typhoon
Debris everywhere
The damage was to extensive
Unrepairable
So I left everything there
Packed up an fled  
No point going back for love
I left it under the stack of chairs

I don’t want you to leave
But forcing someone to stay
Was never my way
So if you must leave
Don’t be afraid to go
It’ll hurt
Inside I might cry
My heart my ache
But I won’t stop you

He was institutionalized
Because he was crazy In their eyes
Guess he shouldn't have talked to himself on the streets
But his argument was he just had a really small Bluetooth piece
But to keep the peace he went
Took all his meds
Ate all the food he was fed
Often he cried in his bed
From the shock therapy he got in his head
Even if he was sane
The nurses played doctor with his brain
Making him insane
So he decided opt out the game
He swiped some keys and made it to the outside world
The wind was whipping
And the sky was weeping
It seems as though he had to changed his fate
He could see the entrance gate
There was just a river that kept him fenced in
So he hurried and dived in
Then he remembered
The shocked therapies made him forget
He couldn't swim

Hello
Anndrea
This is Devante's mom
He's laid up in a hospital bed
He's on life support
Doctors say he's not doing to good
And by this time tomorrow he might be dead
He can't say much
He just blinks and nods his head
He told me to call
And to let you know he loves you

What would you do
If you got that call
From my mom
That I'm dying
As she tries to explain what happened
But she can't stop crying
Lying in a hospital bed
Head bruised
Arms crushed
Barley able to move my legs
Would you rush to be by my side
Even if you were instructed not to
Would you come to my aid
Stand outside my room door
If I didn't want you to come in
Would I be in your thoughts
Would you pray
And keep your fingers crossed
Hoping I'd pull through
If I died
How would you feel

I'm sorry
His heart has stopped beating
We were able to bring him back once
But the second time we lost him

I’d love you to death
Even if i was the one who killed you
And watched you
Exhale your last breath
Then carried you to deaths door step

I never walked away
Because I didn’t want you to see the knives in my back
I couldn’t understand your pain?
Maybe you just didn’t know mine

I was always so focus
With keeping other people head above the water
I never seemed to notice
I was the one that started to drown

You fool
You idiot
You’ve fought off lust for so long
Only for it to end like this
You slipped up
Fell right into her wanting arms
In your mind
A thousand thoughts
How can I get myself out of this?
But you’ve been here before
Back for the third time
Ands she’s asking for it
You idiot no go home
But lust had you so so blind
And when y’all kissed
Even though you felt like you were kissing a dead fish
Regret
Second thought
Out of sight out of mind
Now you’re on top
She’s asking your repeatedly
Stick it in
But your hearts pumping
Trying to stay focus
But the act your partaking in
You know is one of the seven deadly sins
But the word no it’s like an oiled up pole
You can’t keep it in your grip
There’s just no way you can win
Ok ***** it
I give up
I give in
Flesh against flesh
Skin against skin
Lips against lips
Her breast in your hand
Now she’s on top
But pains she’s in
Ok let’s try this one more time
You’ve just had “***”
With one of your closest friends
No their more like “family” members
Well they’re not going to consider you family anymore
Once they found out you’ve slept with their kin
Now disappointment is a fatal scent
Lingering on your breath

He liked to pretend he was a doctor
And she was his sick patient
Touched and inspected her
Forced her to be still and quiet
She didn't move
Fear kept her paralyzed
Once she said no
But he choked her and almost didn't let go
Trapped in a world where her dad touched her
But he said it was because he love her
If this was love she didn't want it
But to weak to confront it
To scared to defend it
Instead stuck in a world of unwanted love

The USA is sick
And there's not an array of shots to fixed this
Plague by discrimination
Sexism
And racism  
And we just gave a crown to a man
Who beliefs are these
We breathed hatred like it's a disease
No marching or protesting is going to help
Home of the free
Land of the brave
But we're still slaves
If you're not white
You're foreign
There's just no way to shake it
Can't walk or drive down the street
Without getting stopped by police
They taunt us
Want us to fight back
So they can scream ****** ******
And shoot
"Defending" themselves from our attacks
I wouldn't feel safe with a handgun or grenade
Or even a machete strapped to my back
United States of America
Forever divided

Hello are you there
I look at you but you stare
It's like you aren't there
Just an empty shell
Are you speaking to me
One words replies
Matches the vagueness in your eyes
Payback for the way I've treated you
Now you treat me like you don't care
When we kiss its emotionless
And cold
Even your hair lost its shade
Why is everything becoming so vague

I want to sink my teeth in you
Drain you till there's nothing left
Until your veins suffocate
Caress you with my finger nails
As they spilt your skin
Through your silk dress
Rip your heart through your breast
An watch it quit beating in my hands
Oops that's to gruesome
I want to bound you upside down
By your ankles
Slit your throat
And watch you choke
On your blood
And slowly rip you apart
Wait that's still to dark
I want to slather you
In red goo
From a tube
And lick it all up
Because I like the taste of ketchup
Wait, what ?

Her lipstick smeared and slightly faded
Some of the curls in her hair sweated out
She takes a long inhale
Then exhale a toxic smoke from the cancer she's smoking
Her eyes sparkle from the moonlight seeping between the blinds
But there dead, empty
She's bored
And as she lays in bed
She thinks of ways to ****** the next
While there's a guy laying beside her she just met
He rolls over wanting to cuddle
Like a puppy wanting a treat
She waves him off not wanting to commit
She takes one more inhale
An lets the smoke sits and gather in her lungs
Then gets dressed
Not even a goodbye
Her interest burns fast
Like a encent  
On a windy day
And even though he wants her to stay
She walks away not looking back
Baiting him
She knows he'll never forget this night
But she will, she always does
Wait what's his name?
Forgetfulness is one of her greatest skills
She does this just for fun
To feel the void while she's on break
Can't do this with the boys at school
No
They think she's a good girl
But tonight there's an extra twist in her walk
A deeper stride in her steps
She wants everyone to watch
Like they always do
An tomorrow she'll just do it again

A plague on humanity
In love caused insanity
A bad guy in the making
Kicking dirt In your eyes
A spawn of the hulk
Didn't gain his strength
As a trait I got his hate
Opened the gates
Let out his rage
Anything I touched disintegrates  
The bad guy
Sick of the happy feelings
Always branded as the bad guy
So I'll embrace the villain
No longer happy thoughts
Get close
I'll sink my teeth in your blood stream Injecting you with venom
Hope an love was a drug
But it's affects has worn off
Now my heart is cold
And what runs through these veins
Will bring down any Hero's name

If I needed you
Right this second
I've been shot
Stabbed
Hit by a reckless driver in a cab
It's an emergency
My life isn't just on the line
I feel myself dying
Bodies becoming cold like the pavement
My heartbeat
Is starting to fade
I'm fighting to stay conscious
But everything seems to be in a daze
And there's only one person I can think of
You said you'd miss me when I'm gone
Is that really true ?
Because I'm calling
Because I'm dying
And all I wanted to say
Is I love you
But as usual
I can never get through
"I'm sorry the person you have called has not set up there voicemail, goodbye"
**** oh well

Don’t wait till I’m laying in a casket
To tell me how you really feel
Save your tears
And the sobbing you’re doing across my lifeless chest
Quit the yelling
And the heartbroken distress you’re in
You’re only disrupting my rest
It doesn’t matter what you reveal
It won’t return the life and color to my skin
No my eyes won’t well up
From the revelation of feelings you’ve been hiding within
My face would stay as dryer as desert snow
Its way to late

When I wake up
You're the first thing I want to see
I want to wake up
With you laying across from me
Sound asleep in bed
Silently laughing on the inside
At the sight of the crazy hair on your head
Can't wait to greet you with a good morning kiss
And ask how did you sleep
Then make fun of your morning breath after you speak
I want to watch you struggle to get out of bed
I can just imagine myself
Showering you with pillows
Trying to get you not to go back to sleep
I want to wake up next to you
I know I couldn't help but smile
There's nothing more then I want to do
Is wake up
And across from me is you
Fast asleep

If you think I won't leave
Because you have a hold on me
Girl please
I wouldn't say bless you if you sneezed
You females
Are like the entrails
Of a snails tail
Meaning you're disgusting
Lol just kidding
Not really
If I was between your fingers
You still wouldn't have a grip on me
Maybe you thought
If you said sweet things
And buttered me up
You'd get bling bling
And shiny things
And hoped my emotions
Would pour out
Like a **** that burst open
I mean to disappoint
Even though I'm here
I've already walked away

Im still among you
Even though you can't see me
Im the thing that gives you goose bumps
Im that extra shadow you always see
Im want haunts you in you dreams
I watch you wake up screaming
Im the knock on your wall
I make your skin crawl
Dont be afraid
You know me
You loved me
I told you I would never leave you
So here I am
A wandering soul
Sought on being with you
I know you'll move on
Find another
But ill be watching from the shadows
Waiting
And when you need me
I'll be that warm comforting presence
That will never be leaving