These are more then words
An insight
These aren't just sentences I write
The meaning is deeper then they seem
So when you read
Pay attention
Or it'll go fly right over your head
Like a frisbee carried off by the wind
An no it's not for attention
I'm trying to paint a picture
A short story if you will
These words are pictures
You develop in your head
I dare you let me lead you to the edge
Let's jump together
An let your imagination run rapid
I hope it catches us as we free fall
Without it you won't understand
The meaning at all
Not by just the thoughts in your head
These are much more then words
Once they were caged birds
But they've been set free
To choose there own branch
To perch on a tree

Her lipstick smeared and slightly faded
Some of the curls in her hair sweated out
She takes a long inhale
Then exhale a toxic smoke from the cancer she's smoking
Her eyes sparkle from the moonlight seeping between the blinds
But there dead, empty
She's bored
And as she lays in bed
She thinks of ways to ****** the next
While there's a guy laying beside her she just met
He rolls over wanting to cuddle
Like a puppy wanting a treat
She waves him off not wanting to commit
She takes one more inhale
An lets the smoke sits and gather in her lungs
Then gets dressed
Not even a goodbye
Her interest burns fast
Like a encent  
On a windy day
And even though he wants her to stay
She walks away not looking back
Baiting him
She knows he'll never forget this night
But she will, she always does
Wait what's his name?
Forgetfulness is one of her greatest skills
She does this just for fun
To feel the void while she's on break
Can't do this with the boys at school
No
They think she's a good girl
But tonight there's an extra twist in her walk
A deeper stride in her steps
She wants everyone to watch
Like they always do
An tomorrow she'll just do it again

Raised to hate whites
The memories of what his ancestors went through wired into his head
So he'd never forget
He plots day and night
What can I do to get back a these whites
He's a slave to his own mind
Life lived in hate....
Fast forward no longer a kid now no he's a man
Living in a house where he's the master
And if you step out of line
One quick smack to the face
It's his favorite punch line
He rules over girls who was lost in this word
Now there stuck
Pulled in his web of lies
But he's the big daddy in there eyes
But to him there just slaves
His top girls whites
So he flaunts them
But they don't know there just for show
And they can't pack up an leave
No
There freedom restricted
Serving a life sentence
Even know there papers legit
How could they leave if they don't have a cent
So they sit, no stand
On these corners trying to make a cent
A descent profit to go back home with
Even though they don't get whipped by whips are chained down to the walls like his ancestors did
There shackles
This life style
So they put on there prettiest smile
And stand for awhile
They tract men toward them
Like a bug to light
There lipstick already bright, glistening
What's on the menu, what does that come with
She recites, got it all memorized
Like a waiter use to working nights
So he buys her for the night
But this time is not out if respect
No he neglects how she feels
He just want to touch and feel
After she's done
It's a victory
How could she enjoy it
I don't know it's a mystery
Why does she go back
Who knows
But the master doesn't care
This is his poetic justice
You hung mine from trees
Well I got yours down on both knees
Still working for me
They both lose
He's a slave to the past
And she's a slave until his time on this earth pass

I want to fly
Go so high until you can't see me
And it's these wings I bought
That pulls the strings
They control me
And even if I reach the boundaries where there's no oxygen left oh well
I'll hold my breath till there nothing left
As long as they take me
Towards the heavens
Further away
Above the clouds
The higher I go the more I want to know
Expel your secrets
Why do we act this way
And treat each other less then men
Just cause you an I don't share the same skin color
Why were the first two made without clothes
And if they didn't **** up would this world still be ****** up
I don't know
Guess these things are broke
Cause there going in the wrong direction
I just want to go
And bring back a simple message
But I'm going to go where ever theses wings take me
And just know it'll be one hell of a ride

Twitching like a fein
Scratching repeatedly
I can feel my blood itching
I need another fix
Got to feed this habit, my need
My addiction
I've tried to become clean
But the rush
The adrenalin it gives me
I can't stay away I like the feeling
So I keep coming back for more
Didn't know I could get hooked
If it ever went away
I'd follow it like a lost puppy
There's no way I'd last a day
As I take another hit from this addiction
I stop an look at the sky
And there it is her face
My addiction
The affect of her is already kicking in

These eyes see all
There's nothing you can hide from me
I see the pain in your words
The frustrating In your eyes
I can see the way you bite your tongue when you talk
Why don't you let the words you holding back free
I can see the hurt in your smile
The suffering in your tears
Some things you can't hide
These eyes see all except one thing
Your love for me

It's 6:52 am and I still can't sleep
Counting the shadows on the walls like kids count sheep
Thinking out loud
my voice echo's
So it seems like some else is talking to me
But I don't mind I'm not alone
Even if I'm my own company
Am I crazy ?
No just sleepy but I can't sleep
The sun rising
But not as bright as it should be
I can tell
It's gonna be a gloomy day

I wake up just before the alarm
Before the crack of dawn
Usually the sun is peaking from under the horizon
Waiting for me
It's cold today, and I needed it's radiant light more then ever
I look over my shoulder and she gone
Even her indention has faded
We cuddle last night
Did I do it wrong
Was my body no warm enough
That's what happens when you sleep
With someone cold hearted
She left a note on the pillow with smeared lipstick streaked across it
I dare no open it
I pick it up an exhale deeply
Steam pouring from my mouth
I look out the window the sun still hasn't rising for me
It's already 12 o'clock
I rub my hands over the lipstick
Trying to remember the feel of your lips
**** it, I open it
And smirk two words
She never met my infatuation with detail
My predetermine guess was met
The End
Was all she wrote

Scribble this out
I can't think of anything to say
Another bald up paper I threw away
The trash is filled with them
Piled high
I feel like I could scale them my own Mount Everest
But I can't reach its peak
I haven't reached my full potential
My peak, no pun intended
Filled with empty thoughts an lost words
That don't go together
But I got to leave these people amazed
Got to have them baffled and scratching there heads
Leave them vexed
Use words I don't even know the meaning too
Thought I did this for me
No
In the end it was always for you, all of you
And now I don't know what to say

Pulls pin from grenade
One one thousand...
There's not much time left
What are we going to do
Two one thousand....
Should we die together
Or should I jump on top of this grenade for you
Trying to protect you from the blast get away!
Three one thousand....
The clock is ticking
We're still in this position
Love,pain,hurt,apologies then love again
Four one thousand...
It's getting old but I still can't let you go
I don't know what to do
I'm confused and hurt at the thought of losing you
Five one thousand...
Wait..I thought we still had more time!
Boom...

I lurk just beneath the surface
Gliding with the oceans current
Waiting, watching, Stalking
Disappeared back into the deep
Before you could get a good look at me
Your minds playing tricks on you
If you think you saw me
In your distress to notice me
You cut yourself
Blood oozing out turning the water murky
Sets off my sensors
Now I'm on the attack
My black soulless eyes
I creep to the surface just to give you a glance
Just enough to send you into a frenzy
Your panic excites me
I can smell the fear in your blood
Now pouring out as your heart races
You try to get away
Only initiating the chase
The hunt is on
This is my favorite part of the race
You can't keep up with my pace
If your wondering how this ends
I'll tell you
I'll consume you
Slowly.. Months maybe years but I will
And no I'm not a shark
I don't swim in the sea
I'm the darkest thing inside of you
And I know all your fears
Tried to keep a lid on me
But this one cut set me free
And now your my prey

I've hurt you a lot
Blamed you for it
I'm suppose to help heal your scars
Instead I made more
I'm the reason your crying
I'm causing you much pain
Here's what I do... Even the score
I'll give you a brick
Pretend I'm glass and smash me
I'll give you ammo to my own gun
Shoot me
You know I have a bad heart so here's a stake
I'll supply you venom from the most dangerous snake
You want the upper hand here's all my secrets
Hurt me like I hurt you
Break me
Hate me
Do whatever you have to do
I can take it
But not life without you
Then after forgive me
And after that
Love me

How much do you love me
How much are you willing to prove
Would you build a rocket
bring me back a piece of the moon
How far can you love for me take you
Could you go to another planet and love me there too?
Would you die for me?
I would die for you
Could you run away with me?
I'd take on the world with you
How far would you go
Would you spell out I love you in the stars?
Or am I just asking for to much
Maybe it's to tough
I just want you to show me
That you really truly love me

I don't know which way to turn
Or to go
I picked a trail we could walked together
Hand in hand
But we switched lanes
Taking us each In a different direction
Now I'm walking away from you
As you see me go I ask why should I stay
But you just stare pass me into empty space
I try to smile this pain away
But it's like trying to stay dry when it's pouring rain
You were my beat up umbrella
I still tried to make you work
But as time pass we both feel hurt
So this path I'm on now I'll walk alone

No flashing Christmas lights
No Christmas tree
No reds or greens seen
No gifts lovingly wrapped waiting to be opened
The Christmas cheer
Only a fond memory
Darken by the coal drenched in my skin
Matches the atmosphere
This holiday
Only reminds me that your not here
Your the gift I want to unwrap
The song I want to hear a thousand times
But again your not here this year
The only present I want
Is your presence

True love is a cliché
I rather take a bullet to the head
Then think there's another human made for me
Think you could please me?
Please..
You have a better chance touching the moon
Tried the love thing before
The aftermath worse then a typhoon
Debris everywhere
The damage was to extensive
Unrepairable
So I left everything there
Packed up an fled  
No point going back for love
I left it under the stack of chairs

Its cold stainless steel in my hand
Its silver body glows in the mid day sun light
Its bright reflecting light playfully dances in my eyes
I caress it like some sort of dying animal taking it last breath
Carefully I stroke it six chamber cylinder
Teasing it I pull back it hammer
And close my eyes
I imagine it firing
My heart races at the thought
I pull back the trigger
The cylinder rotates as the hammer crashes against the bullet
It rockets out leaving behind fire and smoke
Like breath from a dragon
Whizzing through the sky
Only to lose its momentum
Then slowly its once straight trail
It begins to dip towards the ground
The feeling I felt dies with it
I'd do it again if I had the chance
I pull back the hammer once again

He has no hope
A prisoner in his own mind
Hallucinating  
The frustration of the hallucinations begets rage
So he smacks the wall he's in caged in
The wall sets a blaze
He acts unfazed
Sits there
Stares at the guards walking by
They dont care
For what he belongs here
The Intensity of the flames scratches an claws at his skin
He grabs the prison bars unaware
The heat seep into them
His palms sear then boil an bubble up
He lets out a yell this pain he never felt, its hell
Thinking quick he attacks the flames with the cover
Placed over his bed frame  
Instead he and the cover are engulfed in the fire  
His only hope are the guards
But the stand and stare
Soulless eyes  
Given the order not to intervene
So they stand an stare
Like I said the don't care
Stuck in a prison of his own mind
He isn't aware this isn't real only a hallucination

Im still among you
Even though you can't see me
Im the thing that gives you goose bumps
Im that extra shadow you always see
Im want haunts you in you dreams
I watch you wake up screaming
Im the knock on your wall
I make your skin crawl
Dont be afraid
You know me
You loved me
I told you I would never leave you
So here I am
A wandering soul
Sought on being with you
I know you'll move on
Find another
But ill be watching from the shadows
Waiting
And when you need me
I'll be that warm comforting presence
That will never be leaving

Its been awhile sense we last talked
Dont get me wrong you've still been in my thoughts
At night I ask myself
Should I do it now?
No not now
I've done things im ashamed of
You probably won't listen anyway
The things I say wont reach you
You too far away
I've been shot into another dimension
Where there's no you
And anyone that knows you is a fool
So I walked the same path with my primitive brothers
Lusting after girls who batted there eyes toward me
Corrupted thoughts in my head error error
They shouldn't be there
But I can't help it  
I am week
The path I chosen is an cheap illusion
And this world is a failed magician
Its final trick is to get me to commit to its wicked ways
I know what I must do
Commit suicide to this illusion
I wont be so easily wooed
Tonight I start a new
Its a new day
When I finally pray

I can smell your Cologne lingering in the air around me.
But I can't touch you.
I can feel  the sweet touch of your lips against mine.
But I can't respond back.
I can picture you smiling at me, with the twinkle of happiness in your eyes.
But I can't open mine.
I'm here in the darkness but you're my light that keeps my memory going of you.
I can feel myself growing closer to the darkness.
Your scent slowly disappearing.
I hear you calling my name, for me not to leave you.
I can't do anything, I'm floating away, choking on the darkness that surrounds me.


Its been a year now
I visit you often
You've gotten pale from the lack of sunlight
I sit at the edge of your bed
Biting my nails
The tale of us is no more
You lay there motionless
Stale
I kiss your cheek always
Your presence is fading
I whisper in your ear
Waiting for confirmation that your still there
That you haven't left  me
Tell me you still love me
That you'll be home soon
But I can see your deteriorating
I can see your not coming back to me
Can you hear me!
Dont go
Stay with me
But I can see now
Your will is to live on is floating away
I can see you giving up on me

Light me up
Or set me ablaze
I spread quickly
Taking each and every direction
I move rapidly you give me time there's no way you going to stop me
My goal is to reach the heavens
You try to put me out
Turn me against myself
Either way your going to get burned
Think you can control me?
My rage will leave you amazed
Fueled by the air around me
Get in my way  
I'll burn you and your past away
My path is undetermined
But destructive all the same
I wont stop still the ground beneath my feet is scorched
Till every tree is charred
Once done ill slowly creep, sink into the ground
Hide underneath the ashes and sleep
Until its time
To show my flames once more

What's left for me
I'm not depressed happy or sad
Not upset angry or mad
Emotionless
As calm as the sea after the hurricane  
Only thought after thought in my brain
What are they telling me
My brain doesn't even understand me
And yet it controls me?
What a contradiction
Feeling sorry for me ?
Dont, empathy I dont need
It would be a waste of time I don't have
Just waiting on the next wave this world going to throw at me
Taking it head on
Head strong
I'd sell you some thoughts but I'm selfish
Plus you couldn't handle them
Chances of descripting is slim to none
Thoughts mysterious like rain when its sunny
So you get none
I have nothing else to say  
But what's left for me

Keeping my distance
If she was a buzzing bee
I would flee
Scared of the sting
The venom corrupting
Crippling it seems
And I don't like the effect it has on me  
I feel weak
No longer in control
Just one glance
When our eyes meet it begins
Hard to breath
I drop to my knees
I dont have the will to look away
I can feel her love coursing through my blood
What's wrong with me
I fight it
But the sick thing is i like it
This isn't me
Now I know how superman feels
This is the feeling of kryptonite

I want to save her
Wisk her away everyday
Fly off into the sunset
Just for the reward of kisses and hugs
That's what I strive for
Every second every hour
I'm the one she can count on
But as time goes by
This suit I can't put on
My cape carried away by the wind
I want to be her hero
Jump infront of that bullet
Give my life for her
I missed my chance
Guess I'm not right for her
I gladly die and fight for her
Thought I was superman
But dreams dont always come true
I wanted to save who?
You

She was born in November
The older sister of December
Raised under the autumn sun
Bright blue eyes
I see the sky's reflection when she looks at me
Face perfectly sculptured
Unique like each leaf hanging from the tree
Graceful like the breeze
Sweet like honey made by the bees
Her hair the scent of freshly bloomed flowers
Beautiful like a trail of falling leafs
Her voice is a soothing melody
Calming
She's a relief from the summer weather
Hoping she'll be here next year
To watch the leaf's  
Doing their dance of colors
Hoping the ripples I made
Well settle quickly
I can feel the cool weather settling in
December comes quicker this year

Take a walk with me
Down this street
I need your company
Its creepy here
The oozing fog carries a sent of burnt flesh
I heard the stories
This is the devils lair
Quick say a prayer
Keep your eyes open make sure your awake
Falling asleep would be a mistake,a risk you shouldn't take
Its quiet wouldn't you agree
The sound of the wind is our only companion
Trickling through the cracks and windows of every house
And with it the sound of knives
we're getting closer
The smell of melted flesh
sets my lungs on fire
I can hardly breath
With each breath the feel of suffocation
Short inhales helps
I've been here before but only in the dream world
It didn't end to well
I struggle to remember
Then it dawns on me
I look for a sign to confirm what I already know
And there's only one sign that show
Elm street

Hey its me
Im the thing on your face
I make you feel like a disgrace
Make you want to hide
You try an cover me up but I still show
What you dont want people to know
You don't want them to see me
How does it feeling knowing I control the day
You try an think of ways to get ride of me
If you touch me ill cause you pain
Like your showering in acid rain
Remove me before im ready an ill scar your face
And the memory of me will never fade away
Let me run my course
Then ill go away
And sit underneath the surface
Until its time for me to come out an play

You look at me
I look back at you
I reflect the demons inside of you
Im the nightmares that haunt you
Im the reason you wake up screaming
You try your best to avoid me
Not to look my way
You tried to smash me a thousand times
Failed attempts
I know your scared
When you look at me you dont see you
Im the reflection you dont wanna see
The old one walked away
And was replaced by me

This road I walk alone
Haunted by the memories of past lives that aren't even mine
Stuck in a revolving door of lies and empty promises
So I left
With nothing but a broken mind
And a book full of undeveloped thoughts
The terrain is rugged
Jagged rocks and broken branches stab at my feet
Taunting me
But I don't mind
The temptation of knowing the future out ways everything
This tunnel vision makes my surroundings bleak
I contemplated on turning back
But there nothing worth going back to
This treck will be a lonely one
I chose not to pull any down this sink hole with me
Survival is slim for those who don't know where this road go
Hopefully this path I chose wont destroy me
I ignored the warning sign
I dont know where this leads
When I reach the end I know I won't be the old me
But there's always a problem
This fork in the road confuses me
Its been awhile since I walked a mile

Written and never spoken
I put my soul in this pen
Then transfer it to paper

The pulsation is to strong
To many mistake made
That cannot be undone
Now I will die alone
In this place where darkness doesn't hide her face
Shadows and lost souls use my body as a doorway
They want in to this crippling world
I slip in and out of consciousness
I can feel my heart throbbing with each beat
Blood coursing
Trying to keep me alive
This heart of mine is failing
My breathing slows
Fluid builds up in my lungs
The taste of blood that hasn't been oxygenized
feels my mouth
Its bitter taste is the last thing ill know

I woke up hungry again
From the lack of food in the freezer
Sometimes I open it an pretend its full
But the pain in my stomach snaps me back into reality
No breakfast again
We try to conserve but the little we have
Just isn't enough
Mom has two jobs
Ironically to feed the both of us
She's working all day an all night for me and you
I wish we could see her
I know your hungry too
So here take my plate
Dont worry your my little sister its what any big brother would do
Im tired of being poor so here's what I'll do
I'll go sell drugs
Even if it kills me ill do this for you

There's just not enough capacity for you
Not enough room for me and you
I tried to make space but the effort was short lived
Feeling your distress  
I made enough just for you to get a foot in
Hoping its enough to satisfy your need to be close
An to stop this tug of war
You push to get in
I pull away
The swaying back and forth
Its giving me sea sickness
You steady try to gain grown
But im stronger
I dont hesitate to shoot you down
The emotional rollercoaster is like a battlefield
Ducking and dodging try to stay clear
Of the promises i heard them before
There's just no room for mistakes
I been here before
I dont know if your trying to fix me
But what for
I like being broken
There's just no space for you anymore

Perfectly sculptured by the gods
She was a sight to see
Eyes glowing under the moonlight
Our meeting was something like a fairytale
I fell in love the first time she looked at me
The first time she smiled at me
The first time we kissed our hearts intertwined
Beating in unison
She said we would always be
She promised she would never leave me
Two girl in love ready to take on the world
Then she left
She abandoned me
But I will not give up so easily
She will always be mine
Whoever gets in my way will meet there demise
Always watching from the shadows
Lurking behind every corner
The memory of her face color of her skin
Branded in my mind
I can't stop thinking of her
How much she hurt me
And if I can't have her
No one can
She will only live on
In my memories

Love is a trip
A rollercoaster you don't mind getting sick
The feeling of it makes you feel alive
The person you feel it for makes you paralyze
One word makes you memorized
The look in there eyes says 1000 words
Its all love no hate
The feeling of love keeps you up late
Time is infinite
Love defeats pain
But the memory still lives on in her brain
Love is the map to her heart
Whether or not ill make it there
Now that's the scary part
Ok I'm getting off track
Lets get back on the love path
Love is so many things
Yet there's on one word for it
Its funny
It can be cute an cuddly like a bunny
It can be more powerful then any storm
**** u in like a tsunami
If you ain't ready you'll drown
Lost in it never to be found
Love is forever
But nothing is

Heaven sent me an angel
And I don't know why
I dont try to figure it out
I just accept it, she's mine
And I've fallen in love with her
I only seen her once ore twice
But that's enough for me
Her eyes pearl blue
Like they were taking from a piece of the sky
Able to look into me
Straight into my soul
And I hope she never lets go
Her hair Golden blonde
Smooth as silk
Her face lights up my heart
Like the sun in space
She was sent to protect me
But gained my heart dont take her away
Or this world I wont stay
Even though she's far
Our hearts beat as one
I know she loves me too
I can see its true
I can feel her
I make her stronger
She needs me an I need her
And she's mine
You'll never get near her

This is how I show my love
Let my heart sore above
Like an eagle
And she's the wind beneath my wings
The one that carried me
Now she's the storm that grounded me
The quicksand beneath my feet
I try to fight it but she's pulling me in
This is a battle I thought I could win
Thought she was my angel
But she's a demon
crawling beneath my skin
Trying to posses me, suppress me
My love for her comes a go's
Yea it fade like the day
But she left her mark so it'll always stay
Her gazed captivated me
But Her intentions aren't clear
Even though she's no good she completes me
We clash back and forth
I wont let her win
My mistakes will lead to my own demise
I fell in love with an angel
But to my surprise
She was a demon in disguise

I'm tired of this love conquers all *******
Sorry I might just curse a little bit
Is love gonna stop a fight
Will it stop you from yelling at her all night
Will it stop me from buying this bike?
The answer is no
Love dims quicker then the sunlight
Its glow run out before the moonlight
It was created by someone who got weak in the knees
Thinking he can give her the world
Only to find out she could not be easliy pleased
This is for those who loved lied too
It cut you so deep
Now you cutting yourself too
Well you've been heard
We all know love is an oxymoron
Cause it means way more then one word
They told us look for that person
There's one person in this world for u
That's a lie  you can love more then
One or two
But the heart wants what it wants
We were born to believe
Love conquers all
It can change like the season tho
Like a leaf that's falls in fall

Her favorite flower in my hand
Each petal I pull
Is pain I caused
She loves me
She loves me not  
I try to forget
throwing the petals in a fire
Made if her pictures
And letters she wrote like scriptures
The smoke it creates stays
It won't fade away
The smokes dances
Twist an turns its way around the room
Into my eyes it burns
I inhale it
It burns my lungs
The feeling of suffocation
My hearts races
Adrenaline began to set in
For reasons I don't understand
An the flower
2 petals left
She loves me
She loves me not

She has wounds that time can't heal
An im a fresh knife
Cutting is my skill
Reopen the stitches'
I cut deep
Only doing to her
What she does to me
Time is patient
But im not patient with time
So I skip verses
Cutting in line
Trying to get to her heart
Hoping I can stich
What's been torn apart
Im afraid
Taking out what I can't put in
I dont wanna get stuck
Love is luck
Stitching to close
Getting stabbed by the needle
But with this pain
I gain
More love
Im caught in her stitches
Were to tight
You can never tear us apart
You can try tho good luck