If you looked out your window  
It's my eyes you would see
Peeping in
Watching you clean dishes over the kitchen sink
And I could feel my heart sink
You glanced out
Overlooking me
Standing right in front of you
This made me angry
And sadly
I wanted to lash out
And thrash you
Pound you into the ground
Treat you like the trash I was branded as
But I wouldn't dare hurt you
So madly in love
I could stand here for hours just staring at you
Frozen in place
Lost in the depth and portrait like features of your face
The sight of your long red hair
Gave me chills
As I forced myself to imagine how it would feel
So lost in the thrill
My thoughts were so strong
I begged they became real
Caught up in our reality
Only to the sound of my heavy breathing
I was snapped back on track
And as I relaxed
You were gone

I watched you get undressed
So nervous  
I became drenched and soaking wet
As I started to sweat
I was your personal security system
Monitoring you
Until you feel asleep
Inside I stared to cry
Unable to watch you dream
I wanted to shout, punch and scream  
I could no longer stand the view from here
You I wanted to be near
I borrowed the spare key you hid
I figured it was put there purposely
For me
Even though I wasn't suppose to be within 100 yards of you
I always let myself in
This wasn't the first time
I would take a tour around your house
Roam through your fridge
And take a bite of the cookies left out
After I would quickly sneak up the stairs
Tip toeing
Matching the rhythm
Of the tick and tock echoing from the grandpa clock
No need to creep through your door
Or pretend that I knocked
It was always open
At the edge of your bed
I would stand
And caress your bedsheets in the palm of my hands
While watching you breathe
You never made a sound
No noise or a peep
So peacefully you sleep
And I stood there
In a trance
Frozen
Like a statue or a tree
I could never stop watching you

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when It just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you

You were more then just a companion
More then just a pet
You're more then a dog
That walked on four legs
You're family
And the memory's you made with us will never fade
From being taught to
Sit
Lay
And stay
Now it's time for you to go away
And we're all happy you're not going in a horrifying way
But in peace  
And writing this is the least
I can do
To show you'll forever be missed
So for one last time
Sit
Lay
And stay

Peer pressures a *****
But I don't care what you think
So you can't pressure me
I don't drink
Or smoke
So you can pass the **** past me
As you choke on the smoke
Until your eyes tear
Oh dear
If getting high is fly
I'll stay grounded
And you can sip on your drink
Until you're on the brink
Of forgetting your name
And in the morning feeling ashamed
Because you text me uncontrollably
Saying you love me
Asking did I still love you
Only to admit
What you said was an accident
And that really wasn't you
You didn't mean it
You're sorry
But that isn't true
Because when you drink
It's something you always do

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when I just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you