I loved before
She was my surfboard
Our love created the waves
But as the water subside
So did our fire that could engulf any flame
Snuffed out by rough hands
Choked until it suffocated
Stuck in low tide  
Now what I felt has gone and hide
Could it ever be found
To afraid to be betrayed
To caution to put up my heart for auction again
No bidder can ever win
My heart behind a stripped locked
Cause by the wrong keys
But I ask
Could I ever fall again

I do this to forget
If these shots are wind
Then I'm chasing after air
Touching the glass
Rubbing the outer rim
Kissing it like I'm having an affair
Aware of the consequences
But if this is the only way to ease the pain
Then the burden I will bare
Shots in till I can't comprehend
This thing called love drove me here
Sat me in the car
Started the engine
Poured me a glass
And sat and stared
She refilled the glass when it was full of air
3 shots in and I still cant cope
The liquid burns my throat
Feel like I'm being choke
It's hard to breath
She hands me another drink
But it feels like shes the one who tied a noose to this rope
It's her who I want to forget  
Now I'm six shots in

What do you do when there's not a person made for you
Do you keep looking
But everything you pursue
Falls apart at the end like you used cheap glue
Cutting yourself trying to put the pieces back together
Over time finally you give up and meet someone new
To you this is just another experiment
You know it's going to fail
But you try like hell
In the beginning you mean well
In the depths of your mind
You know its just a matter of time
Before this ticking time bomb goes off an explode
And erode everything you to strove for
No matter what you want a person made for you in this world
But there not out there

Hopefully his forgiveness can outweigh these sins
Use to walk the path of light
But now somehow I slipped into the dark
I've been parked there
Like a car that won't start
Hopefully we can go to heaven
Cause these eyes fall on wicked things
Wondering if I like what I see
Hoping his grace can spare thee
Hopefully we can go to heaven
I want to be what's past the clouds
And I'm saved
This earth is hell and wants to **** me
I pray
That I don't fall into its shackles like a slave
Hopefully we can go to heaven

Where is the real me
I'm not who I use to be
When did I become so cold
I know longer feel things
They've become stiff like a corps
Not yet rotten from being underground
Coffin nailed shut
Paralyzed
Numb to the vision of her love
Buried to deep for it to reach me
When did I become so far gone
To selfish to feel things
Why can't I care for someone else
To afraid to let someone in
Maybe this is the real me
Lost inside
On the trek to recover these emotions
Until then I can't live
Because I died

Let's make this a home run
Hit it out the ball park
Hope we don't strike out
Foul ***** sent to the parking lot
Cars dented , windows shattered
The frustration in my swings
Has me angrily trying to hit everything
Hoping to when this game of love
So many times have I struck out
Walked with my head down to the dug out
Ashamed
Cause with you on my side I thought this was a winnable game  
But I could never get past third base
Home runs stolen from me
What a waste
So much effort in my swing
This game has taken so much of me
Trying to hit it out the ballpark
Will take all of me
But I don't want to lose myself for the sake of the game

Un appealing to see
Like coughed up gunk
Trapped in a smokers lung
Hidden behind a scab
But it was pick away
Now this rage runs loose
Like spilt juice on a marble floor
Failed attempts clean it up
To much of it to soak up
When you come across this spill it's deadly
No caution signs to warn you
I attack like a frighten cat back into a corner
This rage sharp like blades
Words like lemon juice on a open womb  
A switch turn on that got jammed
Only when the circuits fries out
It when this rage dies down
But even then I'm still angry