Im just starting my day, its early in the morning, and I'm in pain, a sort of pain that cant be shaken, i am melachony, i am pain, i am sadness, its become a part of me.

I dont have my head on straight, im putting my wants before my needs, my priorities are all messed up, and my mind is so far gone, my decisions are slurred, my morals are derranged and yet again i dont know what im doing with my life, i dont know where i went wrong, i dont know when everything turned to ****, i dont know what to depend on anymore.

Your absence creates this endless pit of despair inside of me, just seeing you makes me so excerntric, just your existence fills me with joy, i wish there was more.

If could only state how I felt the first day I walked passes you awkwardly staring at you from the side of my eye
How your eyes almost wiped out everything around then
And your voice, the moment the sound hit my ear drum, I fell for you
Sometimes I'd sneak into room
Just to slowly creep in your head quietly to read your thoughts pages by page
Sometimes I would sneak into your body and sleep in your rib cage
And sometimes I wrote songs about you
I could never let the memory of the scent on your bare skin and how your tongue tastes slip from me
But I now know I could never hold your heart again
And your buried 6 ft inside of me
I think there's still some of your DNA on my teeth, I know because it conjures up a sweet taste in the mouth
Oh no
Then everyday I would phone you wed talk about how the weather was and how the vessels in your heart pumped oxygen to my blood
Then one summer night you lounged and you layed you're pale body on my should, me and my heart knew, we just knew
But then you said "My love I cannot stay, I've been here once too many"
And I grinned the whole night but my tear ducts tore and I shed
Now I spend my days in bed covered in crumbs
Sad but I agree

I dont know what im doing with myself anymore, it feels as if my mind and heart are slowly deteriorating, like my existence is falling apart, i feel as if im becoming everything i never wanted to, i dont know where im headed, i dont really know where i am right now, im not sure of much anymore.

I have this deep and profound interest in you, this feeling i cannot explain, this feeling that yearns deep inside of me, this feeling that only you can trigger, i want to know what your about, i want to know your wants and needs, i want to know the thoughts deep within your sub-conscience , i want to know about you, all of you, i want to be the one person that can really get through to you, i wanna be the person you have a soft spot for, i want to be the person you confide in, i wanna be the one person you love, and frankly if i cant love you as a lover, i will love you as a friend.

I tend to have a deep endearment and emotional intrest in coldhearted people, i see good in them, and i want to develope a relationship with them, i fall inlove with what i know they can be, i want to be there for them and see what there about, i have this huge thing for ******* type people, but sometimes when you play with fire, theres a great possibility you will get burned.