Is there a purpose to this? This profound loneliness, this constant need for whatever it is i yearn for, this helplessness, this constant sadness that has become almost like a numbness, what are its reasons? Where will it take me? Will i ever be happy?

Its like im here, but im not really here, im here physically, but not mentally, in sit here , but where my mind is? That, thats the million dollar question that remains unknown to me. Where is my mind?

My biggest tormentor and my worst enemy, lives within my mind, it destroys me and defeats me, this "thing" comes and goes frequently and it isnt gentle in the slightest way possible, it conquers me, it takes control, and it breaks me down.