When everything’s fine
These little webs
They’re pulling at me
All the time
Wrapped around my legs
Stuck to my arms
These little webs
Grow from my heart
And wrap me up
In a crazy mess
A tangled muddle
Of hopeless sadness
What would I be?
Without these webs?
Surely I’d still
Never find happiness
I’d be unwound
For the world to see
I like these webs
They make me
*Me

The dullest of folks
Seem to come to life
When the spark of love
Appears in their eyes
A graceful glimmer
A dancing flame
Upon the mention
Of another's name
Love makes us all drunken fools
Breaking nature's unspoken rules
Placing stained glass before lucid eyes
Producing a world so colorful and bright
So very different from "black" and "white"
Love is boundless
Yet love is blind

Blood dripping
From my nose
Vibrant red
Like a blooming rose
Bruises spreading
Under my skin
Like water color paints
Or an oil spill
Trembling electricity
Fills my limbs
Waiting for the invisible
To strike again
But the worst torture
Among them all
Is when mirrors
Form from walls
And I see
The mess you've made
Of a girl who said
She'd never be this way

I want you to hug me
And smooth down my hair
In your arms the world spun
Lazily without a care

There was a place
Near the heart of town
Beyond the gates
Where no one's around
Up a road
Beyond the trees
A place for the deranged
And children diseased
I've always heard it
Call my name
Till finally I ventured
Up one day
Muddy sneakers
Up the path
'Till the rotting building
Came into sight at last
Dancing shadows
Atop dead grass
Lonely, and hollow
Shattered glass
I swore I heard
Someone call my name
Louder and louder
But I wasn't afraid
Stepping carefully
Amidst the decay
'Till I found the theater
And rotten stage
Legend has it
The morgue was downstairs
And sure enough
I was rotting there
I found myself
Amidst the ruin
Could have stayed forever
And wandered through it
That was when I made a mistake
Soon after I left, the wreckers came
They took the farthest building away
And all the children, who called my name

Love is a joke
With no punch line
A trap we fall into
Time after time

I think the world
Is waiting for me to crack
I'm just too tired
I can't fight back
There's no way to win
I'll loose either way
Taunted by sin
Dangling in front of my face
Jamming tired keys
Into tired ignitions
Riding down tired roads
Holding broken ambitions
Jamming my fix
Into tired veins
Just to keep
The pain at bay

I love the tattoos
On your skin
You're so beautiful
It should be a sin
Tracing my fingers
Along the lines
Taking in
The intricate designs
Some may ask
What you've done to yourself
Some think they're ugly
And unprofessional as well
But in my eyes you're perfect
They're the finishing touch
Reaching inside
You ripped out your guts
And with the blood
You painted a scene
Of everything you want
Outsiders to see
You say some don't
Have much meaning at all
Simply inking empty thoughts
Either way
I adore each one
Never change
My only love

I had a dream
We were high by the beach
Sand in our toes
Imprints of feet
I never wondered
When it would end
As tides rolled out
And back in again

They seem like an ocean now
All those words you said
I tried to stay at the shore
But found myself in over my head
Maybe I dove right in
Or waded in over time
All I know
Is all those words
Just won't leave my mind

I've never liked my handwriting much
It's small and crooked
Sometimes spaced sometimes bunched
I've got so many things that I want to say
I jot them down pen racing away
Pages in I start to feel the pain
The burning and tingling most artists face
Now that I think
My pendmanship's not so bad
I'm grateful to live in an era that
Still interprets pen and ink
Still requires humans to think
Life will go on
And I will die
Never knowing
The reasons why
Never seeing
Cars that fly
Life will go on
And I will die

The dust settles
In this empty home
The room is quiet
And I'm alone

I didn't have any pockets
Sp I held my change instead
It felt strangely awkward
Breaking the cycles in my head
I didn't have any pockets
I had nowhere to keep your love
You gave it to me anyway
For miles and miles to lug
I tried to let you down easy
I tried to let you know
I tried to make my own pockets
But didn't know how to sow
I hurt myself to keep your love
Now we don't talk
You think I'm unjust
But your pockets are full of weight
You only gave "love" to take and take

Spin around spin around
Count to three
Drag me along
To care for your needs
The older I get
The more I see
It was only the image
And nothing quite as deep

Love these cotton candy skies
Sweet like everything's alright
Fairground fields stretching for miles
Sugar sweet tears beneath my eyes

I see you
Trying to talk to me
You look so blue
And under the shade of trees
You seem to disappear
For once you leave me
But underneath the sun
You follow so bravely
I watch the way you mimic me
To learn the ways of humans and things
I like the way you walk so tall
So bold, so utterly unlike me
I can't read your lips
But your hands spell a word
The silhouette I long to kiss
Changes into a koi, then a bird
And when I try to hold you
Close to me in my arms
You try to hold me too
But we simply drift apart

Breathing
Moving
Looking around
Doing all these things
Focus drowning out the sound
To identify one sense
Is to ignore the rest
I'm so overwhelmed
Done trying my best
Can't think straight
A world beyond my chair
A thousand miles of smiling eyes
Mocking me there
They're lined up in a row
Stepping aside as I walk
Eyes unmoving
They gasp and gawk
And I want to hunch over
I want to cry and scream
But I keep going
Because I guess it seems
It's not normal
To simply break down
To suddenly cave
And throw yourself on the ground
To bang your fists
Against your head
To tell a bystander
That you wish you were dead
All these things
In my dizzy mind
Screaming at me
All the time

There are those who live in the moment
And those who chase it
Legs burning
Heart pounding
Worthless races

You're alcohol
Without the burn
Buzzing warmth
I'll never learn

I was so scared to loose you
So I followers you away
I followed you to the ends of the Earth
And ascended into space
Now I can't breathe
Without oxygen around me
And you've gone away
I can't go back now
No one understands
Twinkling stars
Glowing hands

If the night was a story
It would be long and dark
Moon lights the path for me
Seeping into lonely hearts
Slowly floating fireflies
Out lining loves wicked disguise
Crickets calling left and right
Amongst the grass, dewy and light
Pushing my palms into the wet ground
I'm lonely but there's no one around
Even amongst the abundant sounds
And the moonlight's passion so bright and profound

I'm sorry for the things I say
When I'm not feeling like myself
I know I sound concerning
Expressing the pain I've felt
I just need someone to talk to
And you happen to be there
I end up pouring out my sorrows
And all you can do is stare
And I don't look at your face
But I know you're probably scared
Or maybe you look down at me pitifully
As I sit on the bottom stair
Moving my hands sporadically
Head thrashing from side to side
My therapist says I look schizophrenic
When I say what's on my mind

Little white squares
Tossed back and forth
Biting back swears
Tongue sharp and forked
Throat so raw
Containing words with claws
Fighting incessantly
Dangerous outlaws
Little white squares around scarred feet
When I cry
They laugh at me
Tumbling along
Pulled by the unknown
Telepathically telling me
Twisting what's shown
I want to throw them
Far away
But even from a distance
They call my name
Beckoning long
Without making a sound
Little white squares
Crinkled all around
Creased at the corners
Bent at the sides
From being handed around
Examined by spectacled eyes
Little white boxes
Always labeled the same
Without ever knowing
What they contain

Possessions in life
They come and go
Working all night
For money to blow
I stare blankly at the car ahead
Yellow lights, the streets are dead
That’s when I like it best
When no one’s around
I can’t be worthless
When I’m alone I can’t be compared
In the darkness not even shadows appear
My thoughts are boundless
I cannot be wrong
If I don’t speak them into life’s song
Negativity is unfounded
I am the sun
I am not less than anyone

Beneath the silence
Unspoken words gurgled
Like a stream over rocks
But in your eyes
The meaning smoldered
Like warm coals
And I knew instantly
You were home

I'm staying in this Friday night
Don't need the parties to get high
I've got a party all on my own
So **** the fakes and stuck up hoes
I don't wanna hotbox the car
Or run crazy through the yard
I just wanna trip in my room
And dream of the things we could do
Inhaling the good
Exhale the bad
You never understood
It's all I ever had
I'm staying in
Don't hit me up
Call me a flake
I don't give a ****
I love the silence
Where I can make up
A very own world
Just me alone
I'm not going out
I'm staying at home
Just wanna trip
And be alone

He loves me not
She loves me not
They love me not

I once learned the secrets to the world
But soon forgot them all
I've got some friends, a family
But when I'm lonely never call
I found the sidewalk to the end
But it was but a turn
The world's a giant letdown
That from life I've learned
I've touched a hundred dollar bill
I've got a place on someone's will
I'm perched upon your windowsill
But you can't see me
Even still
My gardens full of the wretched trees
The ones that mislead both Adam and Eve
Serpents slither among overgrown weeds
Yet I sit in the shade with plenty to eat
I take just enough, the rest I leave
Save for animals and other things
There's a small flame in hell
Above which burns my name
It dances low and skillfully
It's movements quick yet tame
I've never won a lottery
I never remember bets
I'm the type that's always hungry
But will let you have the rest

I saw a bird
On the ground dead
For a cat to eat
For the flies to nest
I suppose these things
Just happen sometimes
I guess it was odd
They usually fly
Over and over
I see the same man
Pushing the same cart
All around the lands
He's got a brimmed hat
A shirt and pants
Even though I pity him
I know that I can't
Simply assume
That his life is in vain
He's a stranger
I don't know his name
Sometimes I see cars
Rolling along at night
And I can't help but wonder
As I gaze into their lights
Just where they're going
Or how they feel
Or if they're tired
Guiding the wheel
The thoughts disappear
Into the red glow
When people die
Where do they go ?

Sometimes for a moment I glance away
From the street before me on the drive home
Usually stuck beneath a light, gazing into the rain
Some days feel impossibly long
I keep singing last summer’s songs
If it weren’t for transactions I wouldn’t know the date
Between the mailbox and the bus stop I wait
Maybe I’m finally moving on
In the keyed up plastic I see myself
I can’t ask anyone for help
I know the way home I’ve been a thousand times
But it rarely feels like home once I arrive

I’m too tired
To chase after your love
I’d rather lie down and cry
An ocean
A flood
Rocking so sadly
Rolling deep and blue
A pond
A river
Flowing slowly towards you
A steadily flowing stream
Going straight out to sea
Sinking so slowly
Into melancholy dreams
Undercurrents deep
Yet forcefully strong
In this lonely ocean
There’s nothing to hold on
Sinking so slowly
Into a murky abyss
Where there’s nothing to see
And I don’t exist

I chose my life
I choose this strife
I focus on wrong
Ignoring right
Wading in darkness
Evading the light
I close the blinds
And dream of off-whites
Pale as pink roses
The sin is inside
I didn't choose to live
Yet I choose to die

There was a house on a hill
With a roof of hay
It's walls were made
Of ocean spray
The grass grew wild
And tall all around
The house was old
Deeply rooted in ground
Some say it was
The last untouched place
As trees were plowed
And taken away
Woodwork scattered
The industry rang in
The old house still stood
Resisting the changing winds
And finally when it came
When there was no more space
They went and took
The house away
It was gone
And all that remained
Was scattered hay
And ocean spray

I've lost you over a thousand times
In this dreaming mind of mine
Missing you in subtle ways
Counting numbers and passing days
I wish you the best yet, hope the worst
Hope you're not truly happy, being with her
But I know you wouldn't waste your time
In worthless words and meaningless lines
I hope you find
A place back home
A cozy place
To call your own
I know its over
Though I hate to say
Everything's felt so empty
Since you've been away

I met a man
On the 9 o'clock train
He didn't ask my age
He didn't ask my name
I met a man
With a scar over his eye
An empty bottle of ***
And a dog across his thigh
His voice came out in a whisper
So subtle and innocently fine
With a small gesture of his hand
"Could you spare a dime?"
I reached into my purse
Knowing I had much to spare
An un cashed paycheck hidden stealthily in there
I gave him some change
And we sat in silence once more
The train lurched to a stop
And opened it's doors
The man and his dog left
I never saw him again
But such an impression he made
Over a measly 10 cents

I hope you're happy
But ******* too
You're better off without me
I'm too blue for you
Sometimes I dream
Of the places we've been too
The things you used to say
The things we used to do

My body is my temple
Contained yet disassembled