Lets just wander
For a little while longer
I don't wanna go home
There's nothing there
No one cares
The walls are brittle bones
Intensity hangs
In the air
The rooms are holding
Their breath
For they have seen
A thousand things
They'd rather not see again

Can't breathe through this pain
Closed eyes it's still the same
I'm caught up in the summer rain
Constant hurt through season's change
Pressing nails into filthy skin
Ripping me open and looking in
Bitterness seeping
Pitch black betrayal
Silent tears stitched mouths
Inaccurate portrayal
Forked path no direction
Easy living but I'm still stressing
Forked path, left or right
Arms around knees tucked in so tight
I'm screaming so loud surrounded by waves
No one can hear me beneath this hurricane
They say it's temporary, only for today
But I'm walking on these coals for 100 years straight
Burnt up heels crunching bones
I grit my teeth, that's how it goes
Slashing exes in my skin
I can't breath
I can't breath
Just want to live
I'm dying
I'm dying
Will I see you again ?
It's all my fault
I'm ******* sick
Leave
Leave
Run away
Close your eyes
I'm so insane
Leave leave
Run away
I don't need you
I'm okay

I'm not jealous of your shine
But it always outshines mine
Everywhere we go
I feel it all the time
The rays of light that beam
Off your sun bright smile
Make me shy away
Make me wonder why
It's not your fault
That your beauty shines
Like the light that glimmers
Off the ocean so wide
I'm sure if you weren't in shackles
You'd be free to fly
You'd go far away
Would you ever wonder why?
But my tragic flaw
My deepest cut
Causing my spiraling
Tumbling downfall
Don't I know?
That everyone hurts?
Even this vibrating substance of beauty
That is her
I promise I won't think about
The light that I see
That bounces off of you
And gets absorbed into me
A pitch black void
A swirling, humming abyss
Of nothing and everything
Yearning to **** you in

I can't draw
And I can't sing
I can't do a lot of things
I have to take breaks
When I run
Because I pollute
My sorry lungs
I cannot put words
To my feelings sometimes
So I talk in choppy sentences
And send you late night rhymes
I can't get that one strand of hair
To lie flat on my head
And sometimes I forget I'm alive
Convinced that I'm dead
I'm really not good
At getting out of bed
I can't do a lot of things
Other people can

The sun need not rise again
The waves have no reason to crash
Until we meet again my friend
Until we meet at last

Pinup girls swinging from the trees
Rosy cheeks and shiny knees
Flickering lights behind my eyes
Rolling clouds hanging in the sky
Closing my lids to the sweet respite
Beautiful euphoria sweeping through the night
Twinkling stars burning up in light
Lovers basking in the moon's delight
Cotton sticking in my throat
Like the words I never spoke
Dragonflies humming above the pond
Fleeting notes of lovers song
I feel the nerves beneath my skin
Alive and buzzing from the warmth of winds
Kissing collarbones with empty lips
Like it did when we were kids
Bees crawling up my neck
With fragile wings and dainty legs
I dreamed I was the queen of them
Proctecting me in the face of death

We're both a mess
But we're worse together
We're both a mess
But we're better off together
I'm bad for you
You're worse for me
We were made for each other
Can't you see ?
You walked a mile with roses
But left them behind
It was more than enough
To change my mind
So please let's just forget
Let's get high
And ignore their calls
All through the night
Driving down dusty roads
Your hand on my thigh
We need each other
You can't deny
We're on our way out
Ready to die
We'll meet each other again
In the afterlife

And with eyes on palms
I'll make it through
And find my way
Through the darkness to you

Let's not be people
Let's be watercolors instead
Just add some water
And we'll become
Yellows and blues and reds
Alone we're rather pretty
But joined we're even better
We blend to make a sunset sky
And fade into night together

Sadness creeping up the spines
Empty skeletons wine and dine
Hollow chests and missing eyes
Embracing till the end of time
Carried by stardust to the afterlife
Particles shimmer and catch the light
Bones crumble ash to ash
Gone like memories of the past
The love they thought would always last
Sweeps away almost just as fast
Caught between eachother's arms
Love hidden away, safe from harm
Glowing softly amidst the dark
Never ever to drift apart

Words are anything you want them to be
Let your heart be light
Let your mind be free
No need to be sophisticated
Or have meaning in depth
Just simply pick up
Wherever you've left

I hate that you follow me into my dreams
The fact that I'm "safe" is hard to believe
I can't erase the image of you waiting for me
When all I wanted to do was run to safety
But because of dreadful family ties
Because of zipped lips and petty lies
I gingerly approached you with tears in my eyes
You know my address
And it keeps me up at night

There's a thousand things
That make me tick
And you're at the very top
Of that weary list

Here's a few pieces of me
I carved them out myself
Add them to you
With a bit of glue
Or put them up on a shelf
No matter what you do with them
I truly hope they help
They're not much
They're barely enough
Bruised and beaten
Stained in blood

Sometimes it's hard to understand
The sacred fragility of this land
It is far beyond the hands of man
Spilling through fingers eternally like sand
The oceans kiss the blushing shores
Forever and ever are sunsets to adore
And floating off the horizon's shine
Is a decadent island of filth and grime
On this island no one can survive
But still it stands, lackluster and bright
It's creators turn and shield their eyes
Out of sight is out of mind

I got lost
A long time ago
In the morning frost
Beneath the snow
The sheet of ice so delicate
From winter rain
The shell of it
It shattered right inside my chest
Sent me hurling
Lost my breath
Haven't found myself since then
Still free falling
Inside the winds
Found a place
That's nothing at all
It's ever changing
Like bathroom stalls
They're familiar
Yet all the same
I'm still falling
Still insane

I won't think about you
And all the time we shared
I won't think about how I sat by the window
Wondering if you still cared
Only to be assured
By all of your empty lies
The ones I swore I'd never believe
The ones on which I relied
If it weren't for these meds
I'd still be able to cry
The image of you standing before me
Forever in my lonely mind
I promise it's not your fault
Anyone else would have moved on
I won't think about you anymore
I've done it for so long

I'm always *******
Always overwhelmed
I wish upon stars
From way down in hell
All the dreams I once had
Were lost along the way
I can't remember and for that I'm glad
It's all worthless anyway
There's so much **** I have to do
But I'd rather lay around, getting high with you
You're no good, a lazy fool
But I'm worse and that's the truth
The love from our parents that we once knew
We find in strangers and dark blue
My love is an ocean and you're a cruise
A grandiose boat, just for two

I carried on for quite some time
With the thought of you nestled within my mind
So blissfully unaware of the bitter truth
You had long since left me far behind
I'm slowly becoming a landmark
On our overgrown path
A dying tree, solemn and silent
A boulder among the tall grass
One others can come and go from
Or simply walk past
Everyone wants someone
To call their very own
Everyone longs for someone
Who won't leave them alone
Now you're gone
And all I know
Is that when I was with you
I was home

Turning the thoughts over
Again and again
Sweet, dancing lover
Trapped in my head
Slow and melancholy
Swooping low to the ground
Springing back up
To my heart beats sound
Fluttering softly
Round and round
Spiraling silently
Long, graceful bounds
Our feet fall into places
That our eyes cannot see
Avoiding eachother's faces
Ignorance like a sheath
I hated your innocence
So pure and niave
When we are dancing
I think of these things

The memories flood in
At 3 A.M.
All the "oh wells"
All the "what ifs?"
What a convenient time
To have regrets on my mind
There's no where to run
Nowhere to hide
The darkness of the room
Is like an art gallery
In which all my mistakes are displayed
Mocking me
Or maybe it's like
A giant screen
Playing the same scenes
On repeat
Everyone's forgotten
But I just can't
I have indiscernible blood
On my hands
I'll never be able
To wash it off
Or take the paintings
Off the wall

Stolen at "hello"
Lost at "goodbye"
Do you think about me
From time to time?

Sitting on your bedroom floor
We opened our minds and closed the door
Opening up a crumpled foil
In porcelain boats we abandoned the shore
Sailing whirlpool seas, setting out to explore
These dizzy brains stuck in our heads
That whisper things
We wish we were dead
Time dripping like candle wax
Twitching oxygen in laughing gas
Snow angels in clothes on the floor
The world warps into a meadow of answers
A collection of open doors

How beautiful it is
The ability to live
Diving into pools
Of papers and clips
Hissing serpents slithering up the wall
Shape shifting into watchful owls
Soft beckoning calls
Water spilling in through cracks
Freezes in ice, cool and black
Thawing into toxic waste
Trembling numbers and calendar dates
Escaping my body through bursted stitches
I can still remember your name

I don't get it
I don't understand
You could let go
But I still can't
Nothing to grab
In my needy hands
Ash falling down upon
Burnt, barren land
The buildings are empty
The people have gone
I'm lying in the street
Inhaling the calm
A silence so loud
It violently screams
Even in your absence
I'll never be at peace
I talk as if there's something to say
I act as if you're watching
Though you've gone away
But pretense gives me purpose
And in fantasy I live
Miscellaneous items
Just a small glimpse
Spinning
Twirling
Exhaling a thought
I closed my eyes for a moment
And upon opening you were gone

Sleepwalking people
No where to go
Weary eyes closed
Relying on some hope
Yet very aware
Of the harsh reality in which they live
Sleepwalking people
On the sidewalks adrift
Looking so lost
But sure all the same
Sleepwalking people
With no memories, no names

My baby leaves
At 6:45
I pretend I'm asleep
And close my eyes
I love it when
We play that game
Every morning
It's all the same
My baby gets home
When he does
He taught me not to ask
I learned fast enough
My baby loves me
No matter what anyone says
He tells me all the time
In different ways
He broke my dishes
My windows too
But my baby loves me
In blacks and blues

You're so *****
Everyone knows
What you do
Before you get home
Sometimes they laugh
Like it's a joke
Covering disgust
Like rusty bike spokes
You taught me how
To take off in flight
And I rode around the yard
Grass green
Sun bright
Whatever they said
It never phased me
I always greeted you
With a kiss on the cheek
The things you did
The things you said
I didn't understand
Eyes bloodshot and red
I wonder if when you lied
You thought it was the truth
Though we don't talk
Every time we do
It's like no time has passed
It's like nothing has changed
I'm a little girl again
Everything's the same
I promise I won't be scared
This summer when you call
I'll hop on your bike
And ride out into the fall

I never loved you
And I won't suggest it so
You were in my moment
Then I simply let you go
I keep you on the outskirts
Of my weaving wedding veil
Don't you know that I'm a widow
And you're next on my trail

We raced the sunset
'Till the end of the earth
And jumped off the ledge
In a starry burst
It was pure ecstasy
To fall so free
And disappear
In an eye's blink
We became constellations
For the world to see
Passion glowing so bright
In bluish heat

I wish I could just
Crawl out of my skin
I hate the body
I'm trapped within
The worst feeling
Is hating yourself
It's much easier
To be hated by someone else
Because you can escape
Glares and gossip
But self hatred
There's no stopping
I'm trapped inside
A cage of despair
I'm a freak
At which everyone stares
It really is
Just all in my head
Either way
I'd rather be dead

I've always envied your white teeth
So much cleaner than mine
But we're just here to pretend to meet
To pretend to have a good time
I'll remember your name
And you'll probably forget mine
Tortured by the smallest things
A red brick walled in mime

I'm so blind
I'm so blind
I know it's too late to turn back time
Your beauty's rotting off your face
Worms in your eyes
But I was never beautiful so welcome to my mind
Let's pull off our rotting limbs
Throwing decayed flesh into the wind
I'll put dirt where your eyes used to be
So you can really see me for me
I'm so blind
Can't see the light
In this tomb we argue and fight
I just say yes
I say okay
My fingers are falling off today
As I kiss your lips decay
So many things I wish to say
Infront of the mirror you stand and sway
Let's forget our lives before
Rip off our faces and leave them at the door
You're obsessed with vanity
I'm obsessed with gore
I'm so blind
Not enough time
Dirt in your eyes
The way your lips shined
Over and over in my head
I'll rip out my brain, give it to you instead
I don't want to see again
I just want my old best friend