I know I sound
Like a broken record
That's stuck on
You
You
You
But honestly
Seeing you with her
Broke my heart
In two
Or three
Or four
Or five
I'm bleeding all over
And don't wanna be revived
I can barely feel anymore
I can't even cry
I'm not even real
Who the hell am I?
You willed me into existence
And now I'm lost
A failed experiment
Without any cause
Bolts in my neck
Stitches in my face
I truly am
A walking disgrace

I looked around the corner
And saw her dancing
Barefoot on glass
Her movements were enchanting
Her long hair followed behind
Like a tail on a cat
Her eyes looked empty
Yet I wanted that
She danced to a silent beat
Her smooth motions
Intoxicated me
I should have known better
Than to go through that door
She ****** me into
Her desolate world
She took off my shoes
And broke a glass bottle on the floor
I didn't cry
I wanted to be just like her
We danced and danced
And danced all day
She corrected my movements
Along the way
We danced and danced
And danced on glass
I hadn't even realized
How much time had passed
'Till one day I turned
For the thousandth time
And realized she was no longer
By my side
But I keep dancing
Because I know
Those who dance on glass
Dance alone

Hiding letters
And clutching envelopes
So tight they burst
Into black bird feathers
Maybe if I close
My eyes tight enough
I'll burst into light
In the biggest supernova
The universe has ever seen
And for once I'll be the brightest
For once you'll look at me
And we'll all be scattered
Here and there
And I'll loose you
And you won't even care
I'm drowning in
"I miss you's"
And I've inhaled
The sea of words
A thousand times
But they simply come back up
And stick to this paper
In different arrangements and rhymes

You left your shirt at my house
I left my heart at yours
I'm feeling pretty empty now
You're having fun with her
I also left my ring
But you can have that now
It's probably stuck in between
The cushions in your couch

One day I'll wake up
And it'll be easy to breathe
I'll stretch and yawn
The birds will sing
Early morning sunlight
Will spill onto my face
And the day will begin to fall into place

When I throw off my blanket
The cool morning air will chill my skin
But I'll be okay
I'll be deeply content within

My feet will touch the wooden floor
Like they've done a thousand times before
I'll pause momentarily
And think about nothing at all

I won't be happy
I won't be sad
Maybe I'll smile
Just because I can

My depression is like
A cut on my skin
It opens and bleeds
When I let people in
It's not just a cut
It's a gaping hole
It gives a perfect view
Of my heart, black as coal
Of course it hurts
What's life without pain?
But what what hurts the most
Is how the sight of my wound
Drives people away

When our time is up
Whichever way we go
Meet me by the gates
I don't wanna go alone

Because her skin
White as porcelain
Stretches over her bones
Like a canvas
Because her hair is long
Like waterfalls
Because her clothes hang
From her perfect body
Because she's delicate
Like a flower
Nothing else matters
Because she's beautiful

Let's set sail
To a world unknown
Let's say goodbye
To the people we know
I won't be sad
Because I'll know
Wherever you are
Is where I'll call home

I'm not tired
But I say I am

Because it's easier that way

And eventually
My eyes are droopy
And my mind is engulfed
In a haze of fatigue
And all that i can think of
Is my warm bed
And a cup of tea

I've become tiredness
And tiredness has become me
Because I hide behind sleepiness
It makes life easy

I missed you yesterday
I missed you today
And tomorrow's gonna be the same old way

I've got hungry hugs and hungry hands
My hugs pull you so tight that for a moment you feel some of the loneliness that's overflowing within me, and you have to pull away
I've got hands that wander 'cause they don't know where they belong
Don't mind my fingers, they've got minds of their very own
They're looking for other fingers to nestle in between
They're looking for hands to call home

Tonight let's not talk about me
Tonight let's not talk about you
Tonight let's not talk about all the things
That we've put each other through

I'm weary of hearing my own voice
Though I'll never be weary of yours
But tonight let's talk in a different way
Let's talk without using words

Write a song along my skin
In fluttering fingertips its written in
To be with you once again
Is to drown in a sea of sin

Tonight let's not talk
I have nothing else to say
But please just be silent with me
Please just stay

I try to speak but can only whisper
When I close my eyes I see you with her
The noise in my head is so loud
In their screams I seemingly drown
It seems even my own mind is no longer my refuge
Even my own world has been tainted with you
My memories are like a storm that just won't pass
And I sit around waiting for it to let up at last
And it gives me time to think about everything that I did wrong
It gives me time to think about why you're gone
I'll never be good enough no matter what I do
So what's the use, thinking of you?
Truth is I just can't get you off my mind
I know this excessive musing is simply a waste of time
But I'll just sit a little bit longer
'Till the storm lets up, and my tears have dried

Every time you held my hand
The skeletons in our closets would dance
Round and round and round they'd go
It was the only thing that let me know

I was real

Where are you now that I need you the most?
I miss the days when we were so close
There isn't a moment that you're not on my mind
I think about you endlessly
Day and night

I know it's selfish of me
You're probably happy now
But the noise in my head is just so loud
It's screaming at me incessantly
And the humming static won't let me be
But when you were here with me
My demons lurked silently

Now you're gone and everything's wrong
I barely have the strength to keep holding on
I'd do anything to have one more day
And I'm so sorry for whatever I did to make you go away

If I could go back
I would have never made that wish
I willed it to be true
You wouldn't have been missed
Little did I know
In the dark of that room
It was the beginning of the end of me and you
Today the noise is loud in my head
This deafening static makes me wish I was dead
You'd think I would know better after that careless wish
You wouldn't have been missed
You wouldn't have been missed

I held on so tight
How did I loose it all?

I never knew life could have felt that good
You were the only one who understood

Turns out you didn't understand me at all
You let go and watched me fall
I haven’t reached the ground quite yet
But when I do I hope I’ll be dead
I hope the impact is enough to turn me to dirt
I hope it’ll put an end to all this hurt

I’m so alone yet loneliness is my friend
It’s the only thing that’ll be here till the very end
‘Cause even if I meet someone new
We’ll be apart when death is due

Loneliness always accompanies me
By my side it’ll always be
Even though it hurts so bad when it’s around
Is there ever a time when I’m not feeling down?

It seems as if every day is the same
It feels as if I’ve had my last happy day
But the thing that gets to me the most
Isn't the loneliness that follows me like a ghost
It’s the fact that this is all in my head
It’s a feeling that no one else could "get”

Interacting with others is like ripping flesh from bone
Within myself I've made my own home
I close my eyes and escape to places far away
To a place where my beloved loneliness wont hurt me
To a better day