We're both a mess
But we're worse together
We're both a mess
But we're better off together
I'm bad for you
You're worse for me
We were made for each other
Can't you see ?
You walked a mile with roses
But left them behind
It was more than enough
To change my mind
So please let's just forget
Let's get high
And ignore their calls
All through the night
Driving down dusty roads
Your hand on my thigh
We need each other
You can't deny
We're on our way out
Ready to die
We'll meet each other again
In the afterlife

Ever since that last "date"
I can't seem to think straight

Hopelessly awake
Lying in bed
Papers litter the floor
Screaming words I should've said

A bad smell lingered in the air
And reminded me of the beach
And suddenly I wanted to run along the shore
Just you and me
But who are you anyway ?
And why are you in my head ?
Oh right, you're just my imagination


The real you is dead

Ragged breath
Raw lungs
Swollen eyes
Twisted tongues
Frozen feet
Confused hands
No one will ever
Understand
"It's no big deal"
I should just "relax"
But they can't feel
Their sanity snap
When all the sudden
A panic attack
Consumes you entirely
And takes you back
To everything that
You've ever done wrong
At the very same time
Thinking nothing at all
Mind blank
Yet swirling with thoughts
I'm far past help
I'm just so lost
The water's high
And I'm so low
**** my life
No one knows
Or they think
But really don't
I'm just a mask
Over brittle bones
And nothing else
Yet somehow I'm housing
An inner hell
The only inhabitant
Being me
And the invisible voices
That constantly scream

They seem like an ocean now
All those words you said
I tried to stay at the shore
But found myself in over my head
Maybe I dove right in
Or waded in over time
All I know
Is all those words
Just won't leave my mind

Lifeless bodies
Pale skin
Dragging forward
Headless and limp
Blood pouring
From their open wounds
More and more
Fill the room
Completely cornered
Anticipating my demise
Too frightened
To close my eyes
Suddenly
As they close in
Their wounds begin
To split open
Flesh falling
Away from bone
They disappear
And I'm alone

Got so sick
I could hardly move
Lying on the floor paralyzed
Thinking of you

I found them there
Like diamonds in a mine
A pearl in an oyster
To a beggar, a dime
Nothing else
Was on my mind
Except the anticipation
Of release they'd bring in time

The lazy cat yawned and made a song of it's own
Penetrating the murky silence of the sleeping home
The grandfather clock, leaning solemnly against the wall
Dreamed of better days, when it stood strong and tall
Back when life moved to its swaying
-
Who would answer it's call ?
Now the only thing constant, winter, spring, summer and fall
Where had the children gone, that dashed down the steps ?
Who was there to cry for them, in the wake of their deaths ?
One by one they all became teeth in the tall grass
Adding to death's chilling grin, consuming them at last
Ask the other's, they'll tell you
Death's face was in those flames
So if you dare to tread the grass, don't dare to say their names

Day after lazy day
Night after long dreaming night
Sluggish pendulums sway
Left and right
Asleep yet awake
Thinking of what it might be like
To just drift away
Erased from everyone's minds

Beneath the silence
Unspoken words gurgled
Like a stream over rocks
But in your eyes
The meaning smoldered
Like warm coals
And I knew instantly
You were home

Maybe too early
Perhaps too late
Maybe a foot
Or a mile away
Maybe oceans
Or just over a stream
Is the distance that keeps you
From your dreams

There's a thousand things
That make me tick
And you're at the very top
Of that weary list

I think the world
Is waiting for me to crack
I'm just too tired
I can't fight back
There's no way to win
I'll loose either way
Taunted by sin
Dangling in front of my face
Jamming tired keys
Into tired ignitions
Riding down tired roads
Holding broken ambitions
Jamming my fix
Into tired veins
Just to keep
The pain at bay

I saw you last night
For the first time in a while
It was the breaking point
I couldn't fake a smile
Blinded by tears
I ran down the hall
I burst into the bathroom
And locked myself in a stall
I couldn't even
Manage to cry
All I could do
Was ask myself "why?"
Why here ?
Why now ?
This experience was something
I could have lived without
Finally the panic
Lead into tears
Slowly falling
Held back for years
I closed my eyes
But still saw you
So I opened them wide
What else could I do ?
It took a while
To finally leave
I called a friend
And sank into the backseat
I saw the world
Through different eyes
Tears making a blur
Of buildings and lights
I wish I hadn't
Noticed you there
But I did
And you didn't care

Love is a joke
With no punch line
A trap we fall into
Time after time

Putting together
The pieces of last night
When have I ever
Gotten that high ?
My phones got a new
Crack in the screen
Watercolor bruises
And cuts on knees
Fumbling around
For wallets and lost keys
I just can't seem
To remember at all
So I'll let it slip away
And seep into the walls

The memories flood in
At 3 A.M.
All the "oh wells"
All the "what ifs?"
What a convenient time
To have regrets on my mind
There's no where to run
Nowhere to hide
The darkness of the room
Is like an art gallery
In which all my mistakes are displayed
Mocking me
Or maybe it's like
A giant screen
Playing the same scenes
On repeat
Everyone's forgotten
But I just can't
I have indiscernible blood
On my hands
I'll never be able
To wash it off
Or take the paintings
Off the wall

Sleepless nights
Turn into
Sleepy days
Everything starts to
Look the same

Concealed by
The smoke of confusion
You slipped away
Now I'm trapped within
This twisted delusion
Thinking that you still care
That you're still here
I know you're gone
But I can't bare
I can't handle
The very thought
So I'll just pretend
That nothings wrong

I was just one of the many patches
On your studded leather jacket

Rabbits jumping
From line to line
Infinitely looping
As if in time
To the steady heartbeat
To which the world exists
Everything
Comes back to this

Lets just wander
For a little while longer
I don't wanna go home
There's nothing there
No one cares
The walls are brittle bones
Intensity hangs
In the air
The rooms are holding
Their breath
For they have seen
A thousand things
They'd rather not see again

Panic filling
Up my chest
Gasping for air
Can't catch my breath
Has all oxygen left
The atmosphere ?
I'm screaming yet
No one can hear
The sound of agony
Crawling up my throat
Residing in
My very soul

Cuts on knees
Band aids on fingers
Grass stained jeans
Small smiles beam
I truly think
Their smiles fuel the sun
So please don't stop
And cast darkness upon everyone

Going fast
Endless laughs
We don't care
If we crash
Life's so short
Yet so long
So who cares
If it's wrong
Let's just live
In the now
Wrapped in the blur
Of sights and sounds

I wish I could just
Crawl out of my skin
I hate the body
I'm trapped within
The worst feeling
Is hating yourself
It's much easier
To be hated by someone else
Because you can escape
Glares and gossip
But self hatred
There's no stopping
I'm trapped inside
A cage of despair
I'm a freak
At which everyone stares
It really is
Just all in my head
Either way
I'd rather be dead

The writing's on the wall
Yet I still can't seem to grasp
The fact that you're gone
And you're never coming back

Sunshine peeks through gray clouds
Soon after the rain
And everything seems to wake up
And become alive again
It must be raining
Inside of me
Because even when things
Are bright and sunny
I can't seem to shake
The dismal and gray
I'm caught in between
Being asleep and awake