Love these cotton candy skies
Sweet like everything's alright
Fairground fields stretching for miles
Sugar sweet tears beneath my eyes

I'll never forget these hazy summer nights
I'll never forget the loneliness inside

Can't keep pushing the pain away
Can't keep saving it for another day
Up in smoke, white washed and straight
I can't keep running from this bitter pain
It haunts me every waking hour
Looking for weakness, a place to devour
I'm so tired but can't slow down
The hurt is waiting all around
Walls enclosing
Shrieking sound
I looked for comfort
Numbs all I found
Chasing that first high
Reliving our old goodbyes
Torn up skin
Bloodshot eyes
Empty parking lot
Under the rain
I'm a fugitive
To this endless pain
So tired of running
I'm so insane
So tired of running
But when I close my eyes
It seeps in slowly
Churning in my mind

Sweet, calm, fear
Stinging in my wounds
I'm safe here
In these well lit rooms
Surrounded by people
Who care that I'm alive
Everyone's my equal
Just trying to survive
Morning routine
Laughter so sweet
Peace and harmony
Enveloped in winter's dream
I couldn't feel my heart
Glowing underneath my skin
Beating rays of light
Illuminating my ribs

Can't breathe through this pain
Closed eyes it's still the same
I'm caught up in the summer rain
Constant hurt through season's change
Pressing nails into filthy skin
Ripping me open and looking in
Bitterness seeping
Pitch black betrayal
Silent tears stitched mouths
Inaccurate portrayal
Forked path no direction
Easy living but I'm still stressing
Forked path, left or right
Arms around knees tucked in so tight
I'm screaming so loud surrounded by waves
No one can hear me beneath this hurricane
They say it's temporary, only for today
But I'm walking on these coals for 100 years straight
Burnt up heels crunching bones
I grit my teeth, that's how it goes
Slashing exes in my skin
I can't breath
I can't breath
Just want to live
I'm dying
I'm dying
Will I see you again ?
It's all my fault
I'm ******* sick
Leave
Leave
Run away
Close your eyes
I'm so insane
Leave leave
Run away
I don't need you
I'm okay

Sunset stained lightening
On a melting horizon
Swaying just slightly
To the thunders vibration
Rain drops dancing
Wistfully circling my pain
I stand in the storm alone
Crying underneath the rain

Missing those days
Back when seasons never changed
Every week was the same
In it's pattern I felt safe
Downward spiral
Sadness is viral
Unbound my skin from a leather back bible
Brushing shoulders with strangers
Embracing uncertain danger
Empty lighters and wire coat hangers
In love with the knowledge that this moment could be the end
There's so many people, yet none to call "friend"
Alone in this world
Yet everything's mine
Caught up in the storm
Unable to fly

I never loved you
And I won't suggest it so
You were in my moment
Then I simply let you go
I keep you on the outskirts
Of my weaving wedding veil
Don't you know that I'm a widow
And you're next on my trail

Islands of paradise basking in the sun
Situated on the horizon, untouched and un-run
Gazing out into the glow I see you and I
In the rustic smolder, where our loves still alive
I see the person I was meant to be
The shimmering dream vessel that encapsulates me
My ship sways lazily drunk on melancholy dreams
The glamour of this paradise is just a bitter tease
I see the light so bright but cannot feel it's warmth
I see it green and shimmering from your dock's shore
I raced against fate to capture the dream
I lost myself in the chase, and still it's all I see

Dead skin under fingernails
Chewed up lips and dried tears trails
Adrift upon the wave of calm
That followed the storm that rages on
It's subtle now, rumbling in my chest
It won't give me a moments rest
With just the bump of a restless wave
It consumes my body in raging flames
In its glow I still see your name
When everything's gone it still remains

Underneath the boiling night sky
I felt the heat of your hand in mine
I couldn't breathe most of the time
Entrapped in steam and starlights shine
I never wondered how I looked
Enchanted and lost within loves book
My eyes locked on a single spell
Your heart was mine, far as I could tell
I never wondered if you'd stay
Or if this heat would dissipate
Or if the love would fade away
But you chose her and that's okay

I've trapped you in my thoughts
Helplessly ensnared within my mind
We're wanderers, not lost
Slaves to endlessly limited time
I've trapped you in this moment
I'll never let you go
Your world will continue turning
But mine will start to slow
Savoring the feel of your skin
Memorizing every moment of this
Burning up in the heat
Of your existence against mine
I'll never get this moment back
I can only watch as it slips by
I'll never get this moment back
But when I close my eyes
You're here with me once again
Your warmth is by my side

Can't see like everyone else
I've got holes in my eyes
And they can't be helped

Emptiness feasting on green, full grass
Everything succumbs to winter at last

Fitted with diamonds and jaded by green
Sweeping arms open towards sullen seas

To sunset on the horizon just boats away
Rolling into dreams and sleeps decay

These holes in my eyes they won't let me rest
I lie awake and gaze at the ceiling of red

What's just beyond me is impossibly far
It's distance is a bit further than my outstretched arm

And just when I pay it a moments mind
It fleets away into the emptiness in my eye

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You didn't love me
But I loved you

There was a house on a hill
With a roof of hay
It's walls were made
Of ocean spray
The grass grew wild
And tall all around
The house was old
Deeply rooted in ground
Some say it was
The last untouched place
As trees were plowed
And taken away
Woodwork scattered
The industry rang in
The old house still stood
Resisting the changing winds
And finally when it came
When there was no more space
They went and took
The house away
It was gone
And all that remained
Was scattered hay
And ocean spray

I wanna make you happy
I wanna make you smile
I wanna be the reason why
Your struggles are worth while

I chose my life
I choose this strife
I focus on wrong
Ignoring right
Wading in darkness
Evading the light
I close the blinds
And dream of off-whites
Pale as pink roses
The sin is inside
I didn't choose to live
Yet I choose to die

I got lost
A long time ago
In the morning frost
Beneath the snow
The sheet of ice so delicate
From winter rain
The shell of it
It shattered right inside my chest
Sent me hurling
Lost my breath
Haven't found myself since then
Still free falling
Inside the winds
Found a place
That's nothing at all
It's ever changing
Like bathroom stalls
They're familiar
Yet all the same
I'm still falling
Still insane

Everything I touch
Turns into worthless dust
Everything I create
Just wants to hide away
So hideously disfigured
So disgustingly afraid
Everything I create
Is a mirror of my face
Cracked down to my soul
I'm six feet in this hole
Underneath all my mistakes
And the ****** things I create

I keep licking this tree
But the sap is gone
It's all dried up
We're moving on
We're getting old
Both you and I
In lots of ways
We both can fly
But also too scared
To flirt with the sky
I felt a little bold
And punched you goodbye
Now all I want
Is to kiss your black eye
I can't tell if what I did
Was wrong or right
I ripped you away
Attached at my side
Burst open the veins
That kept us alive
Tore open wounds
Stretched the lies
Our love was an ocean
But it's overtime gone dry

Slipping back into bad habits
I'm worthless again
This stupid **** always happens
I lost all my "friends"
I'm drinking up the sadness
It stays with me till the end
I'm lost in all this madness
Feeling worthless once again
Never knew how much you meant
You'll be back but it hurts till then
A few days and I'm falling apart
Just a while ago we weren't too far
Now we're separated by a million stars
Just think of me please
Wherever you are
I'm lost in the galaxy
No air to breath
So lonely
I miss when it was you and me
What we had was perfect
So lovely
I pushed everyone away
So I could be
Absorbed in you
And live in peace
Your absence is silent
Yet so loud it screams

I saw a bird
On the ground dead
For a cat to eat
For the flies to nest
I suppose these things
Just happen sometimes
I guess it was odd
They usually fly
Over and over
I see the same man
Pushing the same cart
All around the lands
He's got a brimmed hat
A shirt and pants
Even though I pity him
I know that I can't
Simply assume
That his life is in vain
He's a stranger
I don't know his name
Sometimes I see cars
Rolling along at night
And I can't help but wonder
As I gaze into their lights
Just where they're going
Or how they feel
Or if they're tired
Guiding the wheel
The thoughts disappear
Into the red glow
When people die
Where do they go ?

Please be okay
I hope you’re alright
I can’t handle anything else
I can’t spend another night
Drowning myself in tears
Passing the day in sighs
Please just take care
Please oh please don’t die

I've got the hots for you
In hazy summer blues
My love is cool
Like shady afternoons
I've got you tucked away
Underneath weeping trees
I'll hide you safe
Beneath their canopy
I fell for you
Like swaying leaves
My love is cool
It's yours to keep
I found you in
The petal of a flower
We're far away
But the world is ours
I found you lying
Inside my palm
In the shallow lines
You walked along
I found you amongst
A meadow of tall grass
I searched under the sun
Till I found you at last
My love is cool
I missed you in the past
I was so incomplete
But now my heart beats fast
When you say pretty things
When you say you love me
Something flutters in my chest
I can barely breathe
And in those moments
I can't think
I can only feel
Alive on the brink
Of something so special
I just need
To feel your presence
To feel the heat
My love is cool
But you make it hot
My love will never cease
It will never stop

A sexless marriage
A broken home
An empty face
Cold as stone
Nothing there
The love is gone
Yet why does it hurt
Moving on
To speak the words
Is to make it real
I'm so numb
Yet still able to feel
It hurts so much
Getting through to you
Is like walking on coals
On barefoot heels
I can't be sorry
For what I said
For so many years
I held it in
You said you felt trapped
Locked on the outside
So I gave you a glimpse
Into my troubled mind
I shouldn't have given you
An itemized list
It's Father's Day
And yet I gave you this
But in that moment
Something snapped
The smile I painted
Began to crack
And all my sorrow
Came pouring through
Even so
I still love you

I once learned the secrets to the world
But soon forgot them all
I've got some friends, a family
But when I'm lonely never call
I found the sidewalk to the end
But it was but a turn
The world's a giant letdown
That from life I've learned
I've touched a hundred dollar bill
I've got a place on someone's will
I'm perched upon your windowsill
But you can't see me
Even still
My gardens full of the wretched trees
The ones that mislead both Adam and Eve
Serpents slither among overgrown weeds
Yet I sit in the shade with plenty to eat
I take just enough, the rest I leave
Save for animals and other things
There's a small flame in hell
Above which burns my name
It dances low and skillfully
It's movements quick yet tame
I've never won a lottery
I never remember bets
I'm the type that's always hungry
But will let you have the rest

I'm so lonely
I want to cry
Tired of living
But scared to die
Everyone's got someone
So do I
But it feels so distant
Just teeth for miles
In the waving, dying grass
There'll only be nails
In the coffin at last
I'm so lonely
And sometimes I cry
Everything feels so distant
Teeth in the grass for miles

Take my liver
My kidneys too
Give them to a child
That will grow up to
Be something great
Save the human race
Or even have the strength
To keep themselves awake
And suffer another day
And take another breath
Give them to someone
Who will try their best
Toss away my brain
It's got no use anyway
Take my heart
It's yours to take
Cut me open
Take me out
Make me useful
Without a doubt

I've never liked my handwriting much
It's small and crooked
Sometimes spaced sometimes bunched
I've got so many things that I want to say
I jot them down pen racing away
Pages in I start to feel the pain
The burning and tingling most artists face
Now that I think
My pendmanship's not so bad
I'm grateful to live in an era that
Still interprets pen and ink
Still requires humans to think
Life will go on
And I will die
Never knowing
The reasons why
Never seeing
Cars that fly
Life will go on
And I will die

I've always envied your white teeth
So much cleaner than mine
But we're just here to pretend to meet
To pretend to have a good time
I'll remember your name
And you'll probably forget mine
Tortured by the smallest things
A red brick walled in mime

Little white squares
Tossed back and forth
Biting back swears
Tongue sharp and forked
Throat so raw
Containing words with claws
Fighting incessantly
Dangerous outlaws
Little white squares around scarred feet
When I cry
They laugh at me
Tumbling along
Pulled by the unknown
Telepathically telling me
Twisting what's shown
I want to throw them
Far away
But even from a distance
They call my name
Beckoning long
Without making a sound
Little white squares
Crinkled all around
Creased at the corners
Bent at the sides
From being handed around
Examined by spectacled eyes
Little white boxes
Always labeled the same
Without ever knowing
What they contain

I got high one day
And never came down
Wrapped up in
The sights and sounds
Grass is greener
On the other side
But when you get there
The dreams have died
Arms stretched out
The long green lights
Shimmering softly
Hopes taking flight
I got so high
I lost sight
If anything but pretense
It doesn't apply
Sometimes I feel
Like I'm alright
But I'm stuck in a haze
Long since faded delight
I got high one day
And never came down
Wrapped up in isolation
Wearing a fragile crown
The equilibrium of this world
Is so easily thrown
And one moments riches
Are now crumbling at the throne
All these achievements
Up in smoke
Relying on fantasy
Brittle as bones

Words are anything you want them to be
Let your heart be light
Let your mind be free
No need to be sophisticated
Or have meaning in depth
Just simply pick up
Wherever you've left

I didn't have any pockets
Sp I held my change instead
It felt strangely awkward
Breaking the cycles in my head
I didn't have any pockets
I had nowhere to keep your love
You gave it to me anyway
For miles and miles to lug
I tried to let you down easy
I tried to let you know
I tried to make my own pockets
But didn't know how to sow
I hurt myself to keep your love
Now we don't talk
You think I'm unjust
But your pockets are full of weight
You only gave "love" to take and take

You're alcohol
Without the burn
Buzzing warmth
I'll never learn

Spin around spin around
Count to three
Drag me along
To care for your needs
The older I get
The more I see
It was only the image
And nothing quite as deep

The drugs make me eat
And then fall asleep
The things that I need
To stay on repeat
And say the same things
To contribute to this thing
That everyone else does
To chase the blue's and green's
And never give up

He loves me not
She loves me not
They love me not

My body is my temple
Contained yet disassembled

Everyone's doing something
But it's all the same
I don't want people
To know my name
For the things that others
Think is brave
I want to run
And live far away
I'm so foolish
That's what they say
These years determine my future
Permanent stains
But maybe my future
Will be different from yours
Maybe I'll find
The farthest door
And find myself
In a universe so strange
So oddly different
From these monotonous days
Maybe I'll find
A life untouched
Where I can live and let live
And take just enough
And leave the rest
For whatever's there
Living upon nothing
Only to share
If a life is lived alone
Is it really lived at all ?
A life of my own
Abandoning the call

I think about the things
That are said to me
In quiet moments
Confided in with the belief
That it's just a simple fact
That it doesn't matter at all
I think about these things
For days and days beyond
Maybe I have
Nothing better to do
Maybe this knowledge
Connects me to you
Exchanges with strangers
Meaningless and brief
Stay on my mind
They never leave

Sleepwalking people
No where to go
Weary eyes closed
Relying on some hope
Yet very aware
Of the harsh reality in which they live
Sleepwalking people
On the sidewalks adrift
Looking so lost
But sure all the same
Sleepwalking people
With no memories, no names

It won't always be like this
These are the days I swear I'll miss

Wish things were different
But then they wouldn't be the same
You'll never live it
I can't forget your name
Wish things were different
But they wouldn't be the same
Wish I could trade my skin
But you wouldn't know my name

First laugh
Never the last
Broken glass
Heart attack
Petty drama
It won't last
Just close my eyes
And wait for it to pass
Bleeding heart
****** tat
In reality
She's never coming back
Pretty girls in my eyes
Jealousy festering in my mind
Crooked smile
Quiet lies
Dancing voices
All in line
Calling softly
From the hall
Vomiting poison
In this stall
Purging for nothing
Losing it all
High school heart break
Where do I fall ?
Mocking numbers fill the page
Crystal clear clarity fades away
Mind numbing screaming
Everything seeming
So ******* easy to those far away
Throwing books upon our backs
Playing with razors and heart attack
Simple things perfect students lack
Forcing smiles and nervous laughs
Dancing, dancing to the sound
Spinning, spinning round and round
Chasing the things they want me to be
Whilst trying not to lose what's left of me

There's a certain dryness
Of silent lips
Barren and uncomfortable
Chewed and licked
Words unspoken
Tasteless on tongues
Silent lips are more pleasant
Than bellowing ones

Ripped abruptly
From the soil
Thrown to work
And tireless toil
Never again to see
The gentle light of day
Only to weep and wish
The ticking time away
Pastel colored dreams
All melting into one
Longing for something warm
Yet too bashful to seek the sun

In the darkness of night
You stole the sky's stars
You took each twinkling light
Those near and those far
You left the moon to cry
Without her stars so bright
Even the moon gets lonely
From time to time

Close your eyes
Make it true
Say I'll never
Find another like you

The sun need not rise again
The waves have no reason to crash
Until we meet again my friend
Until we meet at last