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133 · Dec 2020
Remember
Derekis Dec 2020
Seeing the past moving with you.
Letting a new day begin.
Halt until the winter that is now.
Ash to the memory of us.

You dont have to move on to let go.

Remembering the dreams that we have been.
Holding to the love that we cant let go.
Sealing the past without you.

You dont have to give up to move on.

Remember how I got lost within you.
Letting a new hope settle in.
Adding our smiles to the memories we keep.

You dont have to cry to forgive.

Feeling the future that is here.
Know the intentions that we dream.
Add to that memory we keep.
Remember when you fall asleep.

You dont have to forget to again begin.
88 · Nov 2020
The Hunt
Derekis Nov 2020
Wake up, you don't belong here.
You know what you are.

We are both survivors in this.
No love for you in here.

Open up eyes,
I am your enemy.

Did you really think I could have become...
something else other than your enemy.

I am in your nightmares.
The hunt isn't over.

Nowhere to run for you in this chase.
No safety for you in this place.
No place to call home under their grace.

Emptiness unbecome us.
Fear, regret, shame, it fills us.

Time for us to leave.
To wake up and repeat.
86 · Jul 2020
The beginning
Derekis Jul 2020
Just give me a reason, to keep my heart beating.
Don't worry, it's safe right here in my arms.

As the world falls apart around us, all we can do is hold on..
Hold on and take my hand!

To bring us back!

A can feel a whisper into the night,
telling me it's not my time and don't give up.

I've never stood up by myself before this time
but I want to wake up! wake up!

Just tell me the reason.
To never see the end.

So lets stand up! stand up!
Fight for life until there is no more.

This silence between us.
Say no more, I can hear you.

Look how far we've made it.
That pain, we have escaped it.

Dawn is finally breaking.
So, let's go, its time to begin.
I didnt totally write this, they are lyrics for a song but tonight I just put the song on a loop and I had to write this and just post it.. somedays I just need to focus the emotions out somehow and although this time I couldnt do anything original.. well, noone is reading this, this is for me. Remember this feeling, future me. Hold on, dont give up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh9yZWeTmVM
74 · Jun 18
Reconocimiento
Derekis Jun 18
Angel caido con alas cortadas,
maltratada por hombres de dos caras,
viajando por la oscuridad,
buscando ayuda con dificultad.

En un bosque sucio y desolado,
escapando de tu pasado,
haciendo caso de ese extraño llamado
y esperando un diferente resultado.

Este profundo pantano,
forzandote la cansada mano,
tratando de sobrevivir en vano,
las mentiras del tipico villano.

y yo sé que tus alas cortadas
y tus miradas determinadas,
hacen de tu vuelo algo errado
pero tu escape, alcanzado.

A un lugar donde el festin es sin fin.
Un lugar donde sonrie el serafin.

En estos tiempos donde la oscuridad
es siervo del cielo nocturno y de nadie más.

Por ahora, mañana mi espiritu cantará.
Pero hoy mi cuerpo se dañará.
Sé que el viento me alcanzará.
61 · Jun 18
Culling
Derekis Jun 18
Lets go fetch the rifle now,
there's something in the yard.

The moon is clear,
the dog is on guard,
the windows rattle.

It is coming from the trees.

Chain the fence,
bolt the door,
secure the homestead.
That thing will never leave.

The dark is scratching the walls but how?
The culling of the herd is now.

How did you curse this place?
Strange ghosts of family past is what we used to believe.

There are strange lights up in the night sky,
screams come up the wooden floor,
claws gnawing the inner door,
floating 3 feet above the ground,
the reaper, his prey, has found.
59 · Sep 15
Epitaph
Derekis Sep 15
It started long before me.
I never saw it coming.

That distance.
The promise.
A state of isolation.

Inside my darkest nightmares,
those things still crawl inside me.

The answer.
Persistence.
The trait of stagnation.

Still I do my duty.
Rejection.
Deception.
The breaking.
Of heart and promise.

A hope is cast in darkness.
A ritual born of circles.
The sadness in madness.
Feels like I'm gone forever.

Sometimes I hear them coming.
Shadows that smile in torture.

It's over.
Come slower.
Protect me.
Forget me.

The hate I hate believing.
The date of fate is leaving.
It's now time for grieving.

I'm gone and back.. again.
51 · Jun 18
6/18/24
Derekis Jun 18
By fate or coincidence,
pride and greed around the table,
faith has gone away.

Chasing the ghost of you,
shadowing the memories we grew,
time will only tear us apart.

What has happened to me?
Loneliness is just a mad scream.
Writing just to be free,
from this long and empty dream.

Where is the light that I pleaded for?

I shouldnt cry for yesterday,
there lies my hidden world
that somehow,
I managed to survive.

Windows show a bright sky ahead,
past dark clouds and broken clocks,
there it lies, the ordinary world,
that other people live by.

And as I try to make my way
in this new scary world,
somehow, I know,
everything will be purified.
32 · Sep 26
Again
Derekis Sep 26
Here comes that time again,
the time to feel so ashamed.

Again and again.

This feeling takes no change,
but why does it stay the same?

That fraud, feigned smile
tries to win me again in vain.

Mistakes have been made
and I just feel so drained.

Stop linking your lies in an endless chain,
wanting to confuse what is in my brain.

Drop all this false pretense,
dont you know its a weak defense?

You know I dont like to blame
but I just wish I could say the same.

I am not a pawn in your stupid game
or some dumb pet for you to tame.

Oooooh..

... I ... have ...

Nothing to give.
Everything to take.

No time to live.
only this heart to break.

I wish I could just run away,
learn how to stop being the prey..
But I live in this world, full of grey,
with these feelings made of clay.

I feel so ashamed.

Again and again.

Ooooooh...

How I wish I could be strong again,
Cut these chains of lies and feel again.

Destroy those that keep me insane
and control me in this delusional rain.

I want to cure myself and stop the pain.
Just forget you so I can change again.

so I can finally stop being ashamed...

Again.

— The End —