I wish you could see
Exactly how I feel
it may seem confusing
Like I'm not real
But your the last thing I want to be losing
These are the only feelings I've had
In a very long time
But I take things so slow
It's not fair to ask you to wait
And it kills me to know
That it's now too late

This smile hurts to keep
Fighting the urge to weep
The cracks in my face
So obvious the smile is fake
When my eyes look like mace
But what else am I suppose to say
When someone asks
Are you okay?

We are facing dark times
even though the future may be bright
on this day the sun is hidden
behind thick clouds
with no silver lines
the rain is pouring
the thunder is roaring
and everyone is running
but have faith
for every storm passes
see there is beauty in this rain
just as there is beauty your pain
and meaning to your struggle
so when the clouds finally fade away
when the son comes out
and the lightning stops
when life is its brightest
you will find your self looking back
thankful for your darkest day.

You deserve everything
But my heart has been split apart
Many times again
Each part roaming the world
Refusing to return
Half of a half
I'm not all here
So it pains me to say
I can't give you all of me
Only what's left of me

I'm a gambling man
all or nothing
over and over again
I've lost all I had
only to start over
and pray i get it back
So just know
Im a gambling man
all or nothing
I'm putting my whole life at risk
so spin the wheel
show your hand
flip that 16 as i call for a monkey
holding on to my lucky Keychain necklace
Im taking everything I have
and I'm putting it on you

I wrote you a message
even put it a text
with your name as the recipient
telling you everything I said and did
And what it really meant
but it's just another message
that will never be sent

Your asking me to leave you alone
But that is an impossible request
Because you are the life and soul
I lost long ago
And became this monstrosity of a man

You must not know
Asking me not to want you
Is like telling me not to breath
As I'm strangled underwater
Not to gasp for air
as soon as i get free
There is nothing that could resist
And urge such as this
And that's what's it's like when you say
"leave me be"

This isn't a want
This a need
Just like in order live
I need to feed
And I need blood
And I'm sorry for this
But I thirst for your love
with a vampire's lust