Growing up waiting, wishing to be set free
Ready to take over the world with some degree

Having beautiful memories of growing up
Only to be smashed with a hop, skip, and a jump

Enjoining parts of childhood, trying to forget the bad
Having an understanding that it was all a fantasy land

***** to have to fail to say
Wish I knew that before I went astray

As we grow into adulthood we marry and have a family
At that point we understand why our moms protected us daily

I always thought I'd die by age twenty-eight
I must have been high, I could've sworn I seen the expiration date

We shuffle through life, career, and family it's all just so mechanical
Deciding on Plans of burial, which seems practical

Leaving my children one less thing to worry about once I finally expire
So my children can grieve instead of worrying about the open fire

Boxing sentimental values and sorting pictures,
brings back wonderful memories of little sneakers

Sad to see them grow but very proud of how they've turned
Into handsome young men that's adjourned

As life goes on knowing that everything is in order
I'll pick up my bag of memories and go quietly to the transporter

Don't worry boys, I'll always be close
I'll guide you through the right path of life of course

So we'll meet again in the afterlife
Be ready for me because I'm going to hang tight

My life is spinning out of control
I don't think I can take it anymore

I live in a shack
It just might brake my back

I have no money
Wish I knew a homie

Every month I get asked do you think about harming yourself
I always answer yes but no plans I'm  really just trying to fool myself

Don't know how long I can keep this charade going on
Why do I keep trying to make everyone think I'm happy like a swan

I'm so depressed I see no future ahead
Maybe I'm just a fool rushing in where no angel likes to tread

Only reason I'm still here is my beautiful children
Should I chill or run

But I wonder how long that'll keep my spirits up
I know it would hurt them if I just erupt

But what if they'd be better off with out me
Not having to worry about me knowing I would be set free

This year will be the first year I'm unable to give my children a wonderful Christmas
I just can't deal with knowing I'm unable to help with their wishes

Every year life just seems to get so much harder
My mind is getting darker

I truly don't know how much longer I can keep fighting the demons away
Everything feels in such disarray

Wonder what tomorrow would be like
Maybe I'll just squeak by and wait

Why do you Cause me so much pain
Why do I feel so drained

Why do you cause me so much angry energy
Will I ever be plenary

Why are you so mentally abusive
Is it because it causes me to be intrusive

Why do you blame me for all of the mishaps
Is it because you want to bust my kneecaps

When will you be satisfied
Will it be when I become fossilized

Why do you pretend to love me
Is it because I am off key