My life is spinning out of control
I don't think I can take it anymore

I live in a shack
It just might brake my back

I have no money
Wish I knew a homie

Every month I get asked do you think about harming yourself
I always answer yes but no plans I'm  really just trying to fool myself

Don't know how long I can keep this charade going on
Why do I keep trying to make everyone think I'm happy like a swan

I'm so depressed I see no future ahead
Maybe I'm just a fool rushing in where no angel likes to tread

Only reason I'm still here is my beautiful children
Should I chill or run

But I wonder how long that'll keep my spirits up
I know it would hurt them if I just erupt

But what if they'd be better off with out me
Not having to worry about me knowing I would be set free

This year will be the first year I'm unable to give my children a wonderful Christmas
I just can't deal with knowing I'm unable to help with their wishes

Every year life just seems to get so much harder
My mind is getting darker

I truly don't know how much longer I can keep fighting the demons away
Everything feels in such disarray

Wonder what tomorrow would be like
Maybe I'll just squeak by and wait