i thought i could handle
not being yours but when
trying to describe why i
feel the way i do i just
completley breakdown.

i tried describing your eyes
to someone who has never had the
beautiful chance to be in your vicinity and
i could barely get through to the
part of where i compare thy
eyes to an ocean after a
strong storm.

what should i do?
its easier now to be around you but
should i even try?
you've picked me up and brought out my
wings but can i really fly?

oh dear, please tell me because
i'll drown without you here.
im drowning in the ocean that is
you and im not sure if i should
cry out in fear.

maybe im better off in a
kiddie pool.

****.

it was easier to
look into your
eyes today.

you helped me
with my math
and you looked
me in the eyes
but now i see
the real you and
you'd think i'd
despise the
way you judge
people so easily
and the way you
looked at her
when she came in;
it was like she was
the worst thing
that could happen
in your day.

yet somehow, i
stayed calm and
made you calm
down because
you bring out the
best in me and yet
i still love you no
matter how many
flaws you have.

does your fiancé do the
same?

What is Love?
is it the way you
get nervous and
pace with your
hands (not) on
your hips?
the way you
purse your
lips together
when you
get angry?
the way you
can't help but
smile when
someone makes
a ***** joke?
is it the way your
eyes light up when
you talk about her?
Is it the way you
cared for me so
unconditionally?
the way you make
butterflies flit and
flit in my stomach
even when i was
asleep?
even when tears
consumed my
eyes to the point
where i couldn't
even see you in
front of me
anymore?
the deepness of your
voice consumes my
thoughts and i
cant swim out.

Love is the way you
say my name.
Love is that knowing
glance you give me.
Love is when you
wrapped your arms
around me tightly
because you knew i
was fighting my
demons.
Love is when i stifled back
tears when as I told you
I was happy for
you.

my heart is on fire
from the poison you
left over and im
burning a whole
hell of a lot,
dear.

We sat together in your bedroom
Watching lesbian ****
You salivated at the grotesque display
Of the spread channel from which you were born

You once told me you were disgusted
By the male physique
You showered with your eyes closed
Or risked gagging over the bathroom sink

Among the girls you were popular
They stared at you to pass their day
Your mind was filled with their numbers
My mind filled with words I couldn't say

Senior prom snuck up on us
But you found a beautiful date, indeed
I asked an ugly girl to accompany me
And out of pity she agreed

We danced in the converted gym
Under a gaudy mirrored ball
I was stuck between you and her
With my back up against the wall

Afterwards we went to your house
Your parents were away
And their unlocked liquor cabinet
Only heightened our desire to play

Our dates removed their prom gowns
Then helped us get undressed
We drank till we couldn't stand
And fell to the floor in a heap of flesh

I finally saw you naked
A beauty my eyes could hardly see
You were a God among mere mortals
And even lesser men like me

My date's eyes were filled with lust
And I smelled the alcohol on her breath
I performed the perfunctory motions
And sank into her depths

As your date's head bobbed under the blanket
Your moans of pleasure steadily increased
I was energized by your proximity
Which was the sole reason for my release

We left our dates to sleep
Within their sated bliss
Already you wanted another girl
You could ***** and then dismiss

In the kitchen we finished the bottle
And talked of our recent conquests
Together we shared crude jokes
Made at the expense of the opposite ***

An awkward pause followed
And you gazed into my eyes
I felt the alcohol take effect
And placed my hand upon your thigh

Your mouth then met mine
And our tongues were lost within
Your hands trembled as they explored my chest
You didn't know where to begin

In a mirror you caught your reflection
And fell from my embrace
You said I was disgusting
And spit right in my face

In anger you pushed me away
Asking for forgiveness I dropped to my knees
You said that soon everyone would know about me
Because in this town gossip spread just like disease

At home it hit the hardest
I was my mother's boy no more
My father called me a disgrace
And kicked me out the door

Rejected by friends and family
I have no reason to stay
I'll buy a ticket to another town
Somewhere I can keep my memories at bay

I'll rent out an apartment
And decorate my pastel painted walls
I’ll furnish my new life with a phone
That I know you'll never call

I'll find myself a new group of friends
Someone who understands
The exquisite pain of being
Of falling in love with an ignorant man

I wish that my dreams
Weren't haunted by your face
I wish that I could fall asleep
Without clutching a pillow in your place

I'll listen to bitter love songs
Because on pain I can rely
I'll learn to hide my emotions
And laugh when I really want to cry

Lets turn
   Letters into
     Words and
       Words into
          Poetry, babe.

Seeing those bands last night
Reminded me of
All the sweet things to
Live for.
Like all the sweet times I would've missed:
Cuddling with you
Failing at tickling you
Playing with your hair
Making you smile,
Laugh,
Cry.
Seeing you grow up
And traveling.
I wouldn't have the chance to
Maybe one day
Share a beautiful
Life with you
If I was dead.

I'm glad I
Didn't go through with
All the things that
I was thinking of.
I like seeing you
Living,
Breathing
And knowing that I
Mean something to you.

I love getting those
Sweet midnight messages.
The ones that remind me that
I do actually mean something
To anyone.
Thank you for them,
You know who you are
And
To those who come in the future,
Thank you also.
I appreciate your
Beautiful souls and
Your silly sweet smiles and
Your words of wisdom and your
Love and affection.
Thank you for being so
Wonderful and cautious with me and
So kind and sweet.
oh how sweet y'all are
*thank you from the bottom of
Not only my heart,
But my soul.

When I think of her I picture her in my bed.
No, not having *** with me, or with her hands under my clothes.
Not even naked.
I see her just lying next to me, looking into my eyes, and whispering
"I love you".
I don't fail to hold her close to me, kiss her forehead, look her in the eyes and say
"I love you too".

Then I see us on the couch.
She rests her head on my lap as we watch a movie.
I start losing interest, and, out of nowhere, I just kiss her.
I say "Be mine forever".
"I already am", she replies.

Finally I see her as an angel, flying above me and lending her hand.
I grab it, and she takes me away to her world.
A world full of beauty, warmth and magic.
She says "Welcome to our world",
and I wake up.
It was a dream, but I turn my head, and there she is. My angel,
still asleep, so innocent, so pure, so beautiful.
I smoothly kiss her on the cheek, and say with a smile on my face
"This is our world".

Some can call me corny.
Some might say I'm gay,
but I can't help but be
a hopeless romantic.

I watched him
Rock his body back and
Forth.
Thinking of how he could
Easily destroy me.
Thinking of the
Tender kisses and the
Heated fingertips on my skin.
He closed his eyes,
Listening to the music he loved,
Thinking of nothing but
The beautiful sound.
But he turned his head,
Looked at me,
Put out his hands and
Pulled me gently towards him to
Share his love.

I was in his arms and
I felt like the world was finally
Okay.
I didn't feel the need to
Want my bestfriend nor
My teacher,
My handsome mentor.
I didn't feel the need to
Stop breathing.
Instead you gave me breath.