Who said that love was fire?
I know that love is ash.
It is the thing which remains
When the fire is spent,
The holy essence of experience.

she licked her lips, tasted a pinch of salt.
"i’m not like other girls"
isn’t that what every other girl says?
****** bambi eyes, eyelashes curled in a q.
he drinks until she cries, scared she will be
shot. imagine pretty little petals upon pretty little
thighs.
"i’m not like other girls"
ringlets, hair bouncing waves upon waves upon
ocean, sea, tidal
waves.
he smokes until she dances, in circles, through
vapors, underneath a table that holds too much
quick *** and liquor.
"i’m not like other girls"
and he could have said, “i’m not like other boys”
but he was broke, in denial, in and out of love, in and out of
hotel rooms.
words sound so much more appealing in darken
rooms.
"no, bambi dear, no you’re not."

boys lips are never like yours,
darling.
yours are two peach slices, with a
pop rock in the center.
sizzle, fizzle, dissolve.
fireworks, explosives in our mouths
till the comets reach our eyelids.
boys lips are never like yours,
darling.
their tongues throttle,
yours the snake between the bushes.
teeth unfurnished,
yours insatiable.
boys lips are never like yours,
darling.
yours are the candy that i’ll chew
until i’m sick.

There are cannibals in my bed eating
the crumbs inside my head
the crumbs that you left
upon the ground
the things we kept
unsaid
(or said)
either way there was
no sound
entering or exiting
your lips as they danced
entirely still
wonderfully entranced
enigmatic notes struck
on the chord
of feeling and thinking
I am painfully bored
enthralled and excited
hands rolled in corridors
with tobacco droplets
and simple syrup
drowning the thought
of your features
that resemble canyons and hills
i forgot our love
is hibernating in the skin
of a tree in the mountains
outside of sedona
and i forgot the way the pinholed
stars sang to us
and i forgot the way
our hands became one
but it lingers
and it vibrates
it reminds me
of a fold in the fabric
the way it was eternal
yet fleeting
forever
but not nearly long enough

I see it in your eyes.
Your fear.
A fear of the unknown.
A fear of taking risks.
A lack of success.
A lack of effort.
A lack of motivation.
A lack of going for your dreams.
A frustration.
The dry threats.
"I'm gonna come down there and kick your ***," you say.
Like dry heaves.
It's wretching.
The nectar of youth slithering away.
Your trying to grasp, clamp so tight.
You are lost.
Taking your frustrations out on others.
"You are such a **** up," you snap.
You've given up on yourself.
You're drowning.  
I love you.  But I can't help you.

When dancing skin illuminates your sin
I'll bask in the sight of your fair moonlight

When the warmth emanates your intakes and outakes
I'll fill my lungs with those sounds that I've found

When your hands are bands of muscles grasping me
I'll tantalize and tease, listen to you gasping 'please..'

But I want to drown in this, sink with me on this ship
I'll toss the sheets away, making white rippling waves

And we'll sail away, my dear, toss away hesitation and fear
As I'll lick the tender tendrils of your soul, just let go

So that I can hold triumph in the soft sounds of satisfied echoes
Gently tracing your skin, reminiscing the spots I've been kissing

As your eyes gently close, and the moonlight softens to a glow
I let you fade away into the night, but with me by your side

Emotionless, flowing through a crowd of faceless souls
A net of interactions that I am no longer a part of
Each second I feel less and less, until I'm an empty vessel
On the edge, brain going toe to toe with the devil

Rotting amygdala in the cranium, insanity
Not a single shred of dignity or humanity
Running off no sleep, tobacco and black coffee
No spirit left, except the pack in my back pocket

I want nothing, but need everything
all decisions past made to lead to serenity
Going with the flow has left me alone with no one
Why am I still here, where the hell am I going

Long nights, long days, pretending I'm something I'm not
Self deprecation and loathing patterns, indigenous thoughts
Result is cold and heartless, riskless life to avoid the loss
No solution horizon, mentally falling apart

Fed up, hallucinations gone and messed my head up
Yesterday is forgotten but tomorrow already dreaded
Depression has blossomed, guilt trips and sunken ships
Internal warfare, life is chaos amongst the midst