If all you'd known
Your whole life
Was dark clouds
Icy rain
And violent wind

If all you'd seen
Your whole life
Was grey skies
Dull days
And cold nights

And then
Like magic

A crack appears in the sky
A light seeps through the clouds
A warmth touches my skin
softly, like a blanket
slowly, like an ember
surely, like it was meant for me

Like the sun burns in the initials of my name
Like the heatwaves sing songs of my name
Like the power of it all courses through my veins
Like the purpose of its creation was all in my name

And then
Imagine

hearing thunder again.

It was the sharpest pain I had ever felt
Nothing like any other

I felt my bones shatter
My lungs collapse
My sight fade
Fade into red

I could feel everything
Yet there was nothing
I could hear screaming
Yet there was silence

I could taste.....blood

Running down my face
Coursing through my veins
Leaking everywhere
Pouring

I questioned everything
"How am I even alive?"
Am I?

Am I?.

What does it feel like?
To breathe
To feel crisp air, flow through your body
To feel your lungs, expand with life

What does it feel like?
To see
To open your eyes, and feel the burn of light
To stare at a beautiful sight
To awe at the colours swimming in your vision
To blink, and to miss a moment

What does if feel like?
To live
To feel the cold on your fingertips
To feel the tingle in your toes
To feel the rush of blood to your face
To feel the racing of your own heart

What does it feel like?
To love?

I wonder

When I died I didn't know.

I waited and waited to wake up.

And then I realized.


I wouldn't.

I don't think you understand
The way I fell in love with you
The way you became my whole world
The way you were the sun that lit up my days

I don't think you understand
The way I still feel your warmth
The way I still move to you like a tide to the moon
The way I still find comfort in your light

I don't think you understand
When I said forever
I meant it
When I said unconditionally
I mean it
When I loved you
I meant it

No, I don't think you understand
That you'll always be in my heart

Very
Intense

Nothing

I'm terrified.

Terrified I'll never love again.
Terrified I will.
Terrified I'll never see you again.
Terrified I might.
Terrified that you hate me now.
Terrified that you don't.

I'm terrified of the lingering past that we have.
Terrified of the future.
Terrified of the possibilities.
Terrified of the truth.

I'm terrified that I'll always love you.