From within the screams
Of silence
Every wall shadowed.
      I am the eternity
Of my moment,
    Alone with nobody,
Come,
   Maybe the words will set
Me free,
And the void is a deep cloud.
   A walk in the mist,
There you will find me
Lost, finding all the questions.

With the light down
From the daily round,
And eyes closed to see
Within the soul,

Your image luminous
Me,
           The dawn of you
Is enormous,
       The flower
Inside the nocturne,
     I am blinded
By your light,
      Feeding your flower

Darkly in a dance under shadows.....

What say you of me?
Am I just a liar without
Metaphoric excuses?

He wears a lie upon the chest,
Key in the light opening the
Dark truth,
Stipulations of knowing.

And I am what I am,
Not what I was.
Though we should never forget
From whenst we came,
We were there once but never
Again the same.
The curse of time is
Not time but the fulfillment
Of it.

Flesh of words,
Truth of waters,
Around the rocks;
Eroding.

So it comes to this,
Im alive too.
Yes, but Im Ded,
I apologise Hellopoetry
For my misleading ways,
Lies, and attention seeking
Behaviour.

He is revealed,
Words flowed hopeful,
Hopeless ;
Shaping,
Misshaping,
An architectural verbiage:
Yes, A Poet,
And I am Ded inside.


Poet's reality,
Worse than the lie,
The words became a world.

Oh, lord, you are needed.
(Needed in my life)
Oh, lord, you are wanted.
(By me day and night)

When I even happy as can be, it's you I only need.
Or when I'm feeling blue.
This man here pray to you.

Oh, lord, you are my strength.
I know just what this means?
Lord, you're needed.
(Needed in my life)

Others cry to you.
And you have pull them through.
Cause lord, you are needed.

Yes, needed by this world.

Some say Im moody,
Others still call me a bi polar
Twisted with devil's advocacy;

I call it dealing with your B.S.

Ive never rushed to death,
Under a cylinder scope
A peek into the surreal:

A dance of shadows
Filleted by burnt light,
Across the portico
Under the middays thought
A girl under my eyes
Holds the glare of our only
Star;

The nocturne and his ways
Mysterious like a woman's
Touch of lips,
Kiss the sky under
The constellated passions
And in the moment....
A girl!
A man sees the destiny's
Plow through fields
Of the grained aches past gone,

A girl subdues the terminable,
Just a breath before the
Dust settles,
A sigh of life.

Ive written about my experience
With a daughter i lost in my youth:
Amber waves in the still
Of my soul,
The story in my perception
Truth be spoken,
She wasnt really mine.

And my heart is stilled,
Born into my life
My love could not be seen
As fatherly,
A choice made
And years fade into the torture
That is my mind.

17 years after the four
Of loving her,
The love of my life,
The Ded inside the poet
Reaches into my reality
And once again all is
The chaos.
Ambers wave.....

I raised her for the first four years
Of her life knowing
She wasnt mine.
When my ex and i separated
I lost Amber too:

You reached into a well
Of souls and captured
My whole being,
Ambers waves like a beach
On Sunday morning's
Glory,
Life is in me to hear your voice,
And the truth comes
Like the last gasp.

Amber is my exs daughter,
She cheated on me and we assumed
Amber wasnt mine.
So four years i loved her.
She was born at 6 months old
And weighed only 2.7 pounds.
I reached out four months
Ago for some reason on facebook
After she friended me.
I asked her if she still talked to
The man we though was her dad:

Time is a hammer
Always pounding and memory
Is the tear we dont shed,
It all comes out at once
And the weight of regret
Can be lifted,
The soul cleansed,
The hope invigorating
And life is a dream within
A dream within....

She couldnt tell me anything
So her mother gets on messenger
And tells me she is going to call me.
She tells me Amber is mine.
That I was her father all along.
The stillness in my whole
Life lifted.

And the beauty of life is
That the unexpected
Is always the best anything,
Knowing is like a perpetual
Repetitive insanity,
Regret a broken record player,
Depression a choice within
Not to fight even when
You lose,
Ambers wave came like a
Dream awake.
The reality is,
If this is real, never wake me.......




My heart is open again.
Life is so beautiful.
Amber was born with cerebral
Palsy on the right side of her
Body, shes 21 and she found
She had a great big family
After feeling so alone.
She fights everyday and is in college
So when i met her she amazed
Me with her fight. Never
Giving up i awoke from
My stillness. I have a daughter
21 years old!!!!
My little girls have a big sister.
My still born was a metaphor
For my life being stopped after she wasnt in my life.
See my facebook for
The pictures of my long lost
Daughter. Life is a beautiful
Craziness.