You hear scratching at the door,
open it to meet curiosity's eye.
Now you're not alone,
but you never really were.

I spill out not only ink onto the paper...
but my soul,
my deepest fears,
a few hopes and dreams,
but also some lost things.

What do you do when your mother is crazy,
Hysterical, selfish, abusive, and cruel?
What do you do when really you hate her,
And it's all you can do to be distantly cool?
What do you do when you find her repulsive,
And the best of your memories are tinted with pain?
And now she is old, and needs to be near you,
And you cannot stand to be near her again?

How do you tell her the truth when the truth
Keeps accruing like some insurmountable debt?
When the horror that haunts you goes back to a moment
You cannot remember and cannot forget?

What do you do with your love when your love
Has been buried so long that you can't find its grave?
When love for a parent lies outside a window
Through which you imagine how people behave?

What do you do when whatever you do
Must cost more than the option you failed to choose?
For whether you turn to embrace or forsake her,
You're left with a burden you cannot refuse.

Fifteen's neither child nor adult,
In between charade and innocence,
Fending off the forces that would shape
Too soon an unremarkable result.
Even if one were oneself to ape
Essences to which the heart assents,
No draft could be approved without revolt.

I'm sorry world,
For the things I've done.
I'm sorry world,
For the pain I've caused...

I'm left alone at night,
In the dark I cry.
Thinking about the lies.
I've told to everyone,
Will I ever stop?

When it's leaving me distraught.
I can't think to blame,
'Cause it is no ones fault,
That I'm this way...

Time rolls on tragic wheels
Past the moment gone
How searching thru images
React with memories

Jurassic days, cretacious nites
Where fate eyes you up in a place
                                     where danger dances
                                      On your shadow
This wasn't always as dark
Countless suicidal creatures
Laugh at you rather than themselves.

Bonds broken - Freedom shaken
Don't talk too loudly
They'll be awoken.
This universe and hyper-space
Is never such a lonely place
I pledge my regret wth a vague
                                    few words
As vulnerable as flightless birds.

Where disappointment manifests itself
Behind blinds
And with age
love fades.

I want to tell you something you should know,
Something that you might not want to hear.
It is, however, true of me, and so
If you would know me, I must make it clear.
I am a woman who loves other women.
I could not, nor would want to be aught else.
I am your daughter and a lesbian.
Please make a place for that within yourself.
Please love me as I am, as I love you
No differently from when I was a child.
I am the daughter that you always knew
Save for one sweet way that fate has smiled.
Whatever you decide, I'll love you still,
For love heeds not the weather, but the will.

Shouting is not a way to ease your pain
You'll drain strength out of your body in vain
And what would you gain when you go insane?

No one said you shouldn't air your view, or plight
But you needn't shout before it comes to light
I know it hurts, but try to tame it right

There's always a great gift for self-control
That is a truth we hardly want to know
But as you can see, we shall always be told

I hope you don't mind, please give me a smile
Just forget the wrongs, calm down for a while
You are so dear to keep a heart of bile

I wonder
if I'll end up alone...
and that I'll be that lady
at the end of the street
with way to many cats.

Nosy little red head,
don't be a snitch.
Nosy little red head,
acting like a *****.
Stay in your own ****,
or I'll treat you like a kid.
I wanted to slit your throught,
when I heard you read my note.
Not for nosy red head,
so hold your tounge or you'll wish you were dead.