ode to an Ice Queen

yes you are powerful and they all know it.

now please put down your knife and shut your eyes

i promise it will all feel lighter in the morning.

i know who you are. i can see right through you.

i
love at the center
bursting and melting
like chocolate cordials
with irish cream filling
one bite bursting
not out but in
my mouth open and
ready
awaiting
sweetness and cream
sweeties
surrounding lovers
look on
with warm honey eyes
waiting and warm

the rumbling of your vagabond heart gives me hope.
your fingerprints a seasoned dew striped with the pink and buggy dawn.
before the sun rises
before the world is lit with warmth and fear
here in this wet foggy moment
you emerge from leaves
soft and sticky
nourishing
offering yourself up to me//a feast in all its glory

you come to me unravelling from hiding spaces in moist wood
composting yourself as nature does
your head hanging low like vines
fluid as the streams running through me.

i: always convinced of my place as low hanging fruit,
see your streams and carry buckets for your leaks.
i am a fixer-upper.

love you for all that you are
5 rooms
2 bodies blooming in space
cupcake filth on your kitchen counter
on my ***** bone

i walked my way across and away from you
and you charted each of my paths
love mark seeker i feel your honey gaze watching me
and in my eyes are pools of your deodorant and your cologne

remember when you thought we could run away from each other?
remember when i thought the same?

i ran into your arms for comfort from the cold
spruce trees surrounding us
unsurrounded
i dove into your arms
you are my only memory
a breeze that rides slow and heavy
i whispered
i love you like skin under heavy sheets
i love you like getting soaked in the rain
we got so wet
crashes of lighting laughter i can’t tell the difference because my world still shakes either way

when you call me at 3 in the morning
your tears dribble onto my pillow
is it cold over there?
yes
the sun here is burning my skin
i feel so far
but my pillow is still wet

remember when
i rolled glitter onto your thighs and we woke up in a galaxy
i wonder how much i swallowed that night

i remember distinctly how we fell in love
it was my eyes closed and climbing to the stars
you pulled me when i tripped i picked you up and twirled you
i picked you
i pick you

we are incoherent
i still don’t understand
but my blue lips drowned in your pillow calls
finally touched your red
fast ones
hot in the summer just that little moment that tiny moment my HEART my HEART my HEART BOOM BOOM BOOM in my ears MY HEART BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM
i put your hand to my chest your smile mimicked my heart
so we sat there for three hours timing ourselves with one another
i whispered i love you
you put me in your mouth

you feel like something so particular
the way your eyelids close humbly around my voice
your eyelashes softly piling around us like an altar
lovely: you are dangerously lovely in the most familiar way (yet
i know so little about you.)
i wonder what you feel like heavy from the sweat of the morning summer.
i imagine each of your ***** fingernails tracing a sadness i once knew.
draw me a picture of how loudly you laugh when you're the loneliest and
i will hum you a melody of how boldly the hairs on my skin stand when your cheek touches mine.
if you wrote me a letter, i would stretch it into a blanket so I could dream in your words.
if this is what infatuation feels like, i hope we never fall in love.

i like the taste of insect repellent on your skin.
i like the physical proof of your bitter, your sour, your sad.
sweat beads tremble at the tips of the hairs on your legs
i want to feel you like dew drops
and i am a flower.
gently with you at the break of dawn i wake with little droplets falling down my lips.

i want you, something sticky-
running down down my body
abundant and warm.
how i’ve loved breathing you in.