Holds me. ******* shakes me. Stop stop no more. Come back. It’s okay. You are okay. You are with me. Holds me to his chest.
Do you hear that? My heart. My love. Do you hear it’s steady beating? You, my sweet, will be fine. His words. Echoing. Swimming through every stream I am. My blood.
My love, my blood is filled with your name. And in my tears, you are. Languid and wet. Streaming down.
You are everywhere, my love.

the last time seen
and the repercussions of actions untold
shirts reworn for the scent they hold
when you held me
both arms dangling at my sides
completely trusting distanced from it
the last time seen
and the last time touched
he saw me with bows in my hair
sea foam eyes and languid lies
indulgent

tell me again that i get everything i want.

who are you who am i
adults. we’d like to believe.
young children simple soft a little scarred a little morbid a little worn down

every time she calls me she cries

sweet, tender, lover boy: do not be upset over the mountains other people must climb. you have found your valley.

she is comforting herself can’t you see that.
the way she lies on his chest listens to his heart beat slower slower after fast.
i simply speak what is on my mind why do you love me because because starry moon child you are made up of all the things i cannot grasp.
the way he bends she bends loud bubbling *** noisier and higher pitched keep it down shhh don’t wake the neighbors.
the way she gasps he gasps look what you did
is that from last time or this time
last and the other one from now
let me see the marks that were made no wonder she never stayed.

red. as the lips you have touched. the remedies on my tongue. the stains on my toweled thighs. the handprints on my ***. the hearts above my head.

his head will lie between her thighs. his hands will find their way back to gripping hips. leaving the marks. her back will remember its familiar curve.

why do you love me?
i wasn’t expecting that question.

hit me like a bullet. never saw him coming. worshipped the ground you walked on. heavy deeper smears and color. painted walls paint me painted walk in see feel.
hit me like a ******* train.
bolder builder built me with your hands build me something to hold on the train home.

when can i see you again

needed you you didn’t
hush quiet keep to yourself
reveal little parts and stay hidden
it’s already been written
it’s already been said

tiresome. catch up and stuff.
the dilly dallying before the meaty bits. the juice bits you think about when i’m gone.

figure out on your own. which way is up and which down.
which call to take and which to pretend i’m taking a nap for.
did you watch this? i cried. indulgent.

when there is no best to put on.
when all i am is curled up, shriveled, incoherent ‘i need you’s but indignant ‘*******’s—
empty eyes and droopy cheeks—

who wants to be there when it is harder than **** **** grab.
heart homes and mountain tops.

make plans with your cigarette instead.