How am I supposed to breathe when you're not here?
Oxygen has not been kind to me.
When the leaves fall and soon enough they'll make a crisp beneath my soles
And the brisk wind will come whistling past my ears pinking my cheeks
Will you still be there in my dreams?
Will you still be my escape?

And then when the snow starts to fall and those leaves begin to fade from sight
When the ochre sweaters turn into fur coats
And the people no longer carry umbrellas but coffee mugs
Will I still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat
Grasping at the greedy oxygen
Reaching for you
Angry with the futility of my predicament?

Or will the fresh leaves of spring bring relief?

You know that feeling
when you see something that truly speaks to you
and your heart bursts with adrenaline?

*You.

What will it be like
when I first see you in december
how will it feel to touch you again?
will I touch you again?
will it ever be the same?

Our lives will have changed so much over these couple months apart
will the sound of my name still leave your lips in a rose hued haze?
or will it fall flat only to be realized a moment too late?

When will the sadness end?
waiting staring at the clock tick tick tock
it keeps going non stop tick tock tick tick
yet gets slower every time I look back
tick            tock         tick

A month can go by in an instant
but the thoughts of you are slower than time can comprehend
so it maliciously stops and lags and makes me think of you incessantly
and never lets it end
until it does

But not for long
not longer than a couple quick moments because time doesn't make sense
it never has with you
and now it's proving its point

Well I don't need any **** points to be proven
let me sleep or I'll die of desperation
let me sleep let me sleep!
but time's not that kind
you deserve this it says
you deserve this for falling in love

So I deserve this.
I deserve this massacring of mind
because I fell for you

But I can't stop thinking
what will it be like?
to see you to touch you to feel you
how will you respond?

The night that special night
in my bed
the last time we saw each other
before we both left
that magical night
words were spoken bodies were touched
but none of the words mattered
none of them could make sense of our emotions
nothing came close
no sounds could describe what we were feeling

So we lied there on my bed and you slipped your fingers
inside me
and you showed me stories instead of told me
and you showed me my body
and you opened my soul
and you took out my bruised heart
and you held it so tightly
and you whispered to it
it's alright
everything will be alright
the bruises will heal far sooner than you think
and some won't
and that's ok
because I love you

And that's how I accepted it
our parting
because you whispered into my heart
into my soul
my body
that
you loved me
you still do
and I do too.

Suns and sunset, dusk and dawn,
All i do is pray for more.
I am sitting home alone,
and all i do is pray.

Stars and ceiling block my view,
they don't see like I used to
Sorry people seem to say
All i do is pray.

Lonely trees and cold skies,
linger in my memory
all i see is life going by,
and all i do is pray.

All i do is pray
all i do is pray…
l can see you staring at me,
who cares, i'm off to pray.

Deserts cold and ice is warm
opposites make perfect homes,
linger in the sadness and moans,
and all i do is pray.

After every phone call, I feel like writing poetry.
Tell me why that is, there is a problem here
"I love you so much!", you say slowly,
And everytime, I say "Goodbye" with a tear.

You make me feel so useless, so confused
You make me feel so love sick, and used.
I write these poems, I try to rhyme,
While you go out, party time.
I'd like to see us together!
But I know that'll never happen
I want to be your forever,
Guess not this time.

Black knife, through my heart
Poisoning me slowly; vein by vein, ventricle by ventricle
Your black venom takes me over like the sweet taste of iced lemonade on a hot summer's day.
You kissed me, then left me in the street.
You touched me, then left me here to weep.

It has not hit me yet. My heart, the clock, beats constant, unchanging.
Tick tick tick tick.
Just a shot, just a pinch opening up my insides to the world.
Letting my most sacred belongings be seen by this earth.
One little pinch and then the blood gets ****** out.
****** out of me as if a bloodthirsty animal has a straw.

The clock is breaking, its ticking inconsistent. No more tick ticks.
The little hands of the clock are scampering around trying to find their original rhythm. Is is proving impossible.
Run hands, run! Find that rhythm you so strive for!

Nope, it is gone, now the clock is unhinging. The hands are falling off, the numbers spinning out of control.
Nope, this clock is too far gone to be fixed.
Nope, this heart beats too fast, no magic tricks.
Nope, she can not be saved, let's find a new clock to fix.