A beleaguered mind behind placid eyes
This stoic facade is my disguise
There's a pain I cannot fully verbalize
Impossible to rationalize or make you realize
My emotions run deep, that much is true
They are the reason for my heart's grand coup
Its fighting my mind, making me blind
Makes me want to run scared of an attack from behind
It consumes my thoughts and fuels my fears
Its a battle I feel I'm losing and it brings me to tears
I feel the loss of control taking a hold over me
And its my darkest thoughts that say they'll set me free
Make me free? I want to believe
Because after it all who would really miss me?
Nobody knows of my pain, driving me insane
Spreading like cancer throughout my brain
I try to reach for help but the doors keep closing
Its a living night terror and this world is a show screen
There's no wake up or brake up from this terror existing
My thoughts told me how to end it - drop from a building
Kiss that pavement, make a statement, go out nice and quick
Because dealing with my problems makes me always feel sick
My head's always in the toilet
I'm a walking disappointment
I'm so afraid to face myself, I missed my psychiatrist appointments
From a much different time, which felt so long ago, yet really wasn't so.