The smudge of ink that is left when a mistake can't be completely erased
Just another failed attempt
Another rough draft
That's what I am
I think that if someone were to finish erasing
I could be rewritten as something much more beautiful
A better version of me
A better choice of words
Maybe if I could erase myself
You could recreate me more beautifully than this first edition
You could create me with the abundance of loveliness that you hold
Where I am "flawed"
You could write me as "fascinating"
Where I feel "ignored"
You could describe me as "engrossing"
Where I am "alone"
You could instead write "loved"
I want you to change me
Mold me
Shape me
Recreate me
Replace me with a better version of myself

I haven't slept in 24 hours
I'm almost out of cigarettes
My head is ******* pounding
I miss you

Outwardly, the oak
Withstood winter, tall and proud --
        Long since dead inside.

Tonight I tell you I’m not worth ****,
Day after day I mope and I sit,
And I think of how ******* disturbed this all is,
Life continues around me, but no, I insist,
That this cynical, worthless, despicable hole,
Is what I've become,
I’m losing my soul,
Each day, a new way, to set the pain still,
Who’s the one with the gun?
I'm the one they should ****,
And I cling to whatever my cold hands can find,
Each morning, another ******* hill to climb
So I smoke it away,
I take to the blade,
I bleed out my sorrows,
Im not ******* okay,
And I just want to die, I wish I would die,
And leave all the struggles and ******* behind,
And you tell me its selfish, it makes me feel worse,
You were my rock, turns out you’re my hearse,
You see scars on my skin, and you tell me to stop,
*******,
You're my reason to put more on top,
You’re so fake,
I don’t care that I “could have it worse”,
Don't disparage my suffering,
I'm left with this curse

Every time I smoke a cigarette,
I imagine that it’s you,
So I can breathe you in,
And taste your soul,
And I blow you out,
Just to long to breathe you in again.