We cower
Under covers
As if a thin sheet
Might save us
From these
Macabre horrors
Drooling, smiling,
Scuttling,
Red- bellied phantoms
Slither by Whisper in many voices
They drink fear
Revelling in it
Invisible children
With laughter
Turning into hate
Snuffling, shuffling
Coldly touching
Smiling, eyeless
Grasping, gasping
Terror, dark
Chuckling, biting
Surrounding, frozen
Wildly insane
Sliding, tripping
We hide from this monster
Cower
Down
But fail
...it's
inside
us
all...

If I leave this house tonight
I'm going to get a ****** and ******.
I've been playing it straight far too long,
I've been walking this line far too long.
Keeping a check on the freedom of my mind.
Oceans to the west
Tundras to the east
Stars spinning out there
Quick sand beneath my feet.

Wrapped up in obligations
disguises and costumes
fake jewlery
fake smiles
routines and rituals
Keeping one foot going ahead of the other
Too scared to stop
Too alone to go on.

Freedom to the left of me
Disaster to the right.

How am I going to find revolution
at this time of night?

It was a doggy opera
singing up and down
the street
on a hot summer
half cut moon lite night.
Crickets frogs
night blooming jasmine
perfumed memories
curtains flipping in the hot wind
suffocating sweating sultry
with the windows wide open
the neighbors bullshitting
My eyes stare across the room.
I've been alone but never like this before.

Over at the bar on Melrose
Jostled and jammed
a pivot point spun
waiting at the bar three deep
looking for eye contact
a friendly face
I've been alone but never like this before.

The family is all here
each and every one
Going through pictures
scrap books of the past-
realizing in the end
your memory is a picture
with someone
getting your name wrong.
I've been alone but never like this before.

I come back home to my doggy opera
you hugged me then
felt pretty good
until I realized you were thinking of him.

I've been alone but never like this before. ..

It is 12 noon and I have swagger
Everywhere I look is my domain
I can pick and choose
I can create a scene
I can walk right in.
My universe, so they say,
is under my control.
People even know my name,
Love has come my way.
It's 12 noon and I have swagger that even I must refrain.

By 3 o'clock my life is slipping
The moon eclipses the sun
The sun eclipses the moon
I see the hints of darkness
that was not there at noon.
I reach the ledge and hang swinging,
my finger tips barely grip.
I am sweating but I am holding on.


By 6:00 o'clock
I am on the Bay Bridge,
traffic jammed in
My electrical system fails
and I know if I stop I'm doomed.
I watch the brake lights snaking towards me
No control now for me.
Inevitable as Monday morning
My car stops and I will probably die on this road.
The darkest hour surrounds me now.
My eyes are blind
My hands are numb
My lover has left me
and
I am wondering what I have become.

Sitting now in this empty space
all furniture moved out,
only this rocking chair remains,
Everything I have been has died
and now through finding this meaning
I sigh.
I surrender and all longing vanishes
I drift right back into this moment
and for a moment my heart sings.

At 9:00 o'clock I see a light
I see a path,
I start to move.
Once frozen now thawing
my heart resumes.
The clock clicks out my time
in digital sequence and rhymes
I even feel a dance begin.

I move towards 12:00 o'clock
but this wheel has rolled down the road
and even though back at noon
I start again
but in a different spot
and singing a different tune.
There is humility in my walk.
Down the road I see three oclock.

Resentment and bitterness
is the poison drank
in hopes the other will perish.

Forgiveness is a moment of
peaceful release
not forgetting
or unknowing
but a shifting
in mind
and emotions
a switch on
a switch off
a deep sigh of acceptance
A moving on.

But what does it really mean
and how to get there
from here?

Resentment
Bitterness
Hurtfulness
Forgiveness
How to get from here
to there?

These questions plague
my day
Dance through my night.

In a moment of light
I wonder
if self forgiveness
makes it all right
I realize then
I have no magic sentence
to make it all okay.

This unfathomable
human moment
perhaps there are no words to say.

But
Being loving
is that the answer?
Kindness
is that the cure?
Self-acceptance
comes in waves
peace in moments found.
Perhaps
in these emotions
forgiveness comes around.

When I get
there from here
I will tell you
what I found.

Meanwhile
Lightning and thunder
color the horizon
and flash towards the ground...

The
Third
Eye
Laughs last.

You can't see it
You can't taste it
You can't feel it
Or smell it
But it doesn't mean you
Can't sense it
Or
Know it.

A breeze of moments
A one way street
A steady river
Always the same
Always in a state of change
Only moves in one direction.

Youth and its expansion
Age and its contraction

Time swirls around us
Through us
Dragging us along
One moment taking forever
The next moment
A fading light in the distant past
No wonder of endings I think a lot.

Yesterday 10
Tomorrow 80
Seems like forever
But never really is
In stacatto bits
Of memory
Flashes
Lies
Some true
Some false
Some recovered
Some not at all.

Continuity of self and I
Until
We are
Eventually
Slipping
Into
That black hole
Of
Time
Like a galaxy
Spiraling
Down the drain...