say it
say it again and again
say it
over and over again
over it
over it again
again and again

it may well be that it comes from within, but it wears thin
especially when you don't even know where to begin
whatever you thought you'd given in, that insignificant sin
let it spin baby
let it spin.

silence is awesome
but it doesn't come cheap
you have to convince everyone
that it's okay.

chasing walls
in the hope that
they'll catch up
is like admitting
that we put them there
in the first place

take mine
take me
take all of it, it's free

make mine
make me
anything you want it to be

fake mine
fake me
is all that's left of me

make mine
make me
the best that it can be

eat it, dude
you asked for it
you need it more than i do

beat it, dude
beat it senseless
that's what drums are made for

need it, dude
appreciate it's worth
that's what we call respect
and maybe we'll unearth
some gratitude

output: i thought so
input: i hope so
stream: i am so
audio: just listen

i couldn't think, i blinked
and nature stayed it's course.

i'm not afraid
to let go
just in case you happen to see me falling

but tonight
i'm holding on
because i don't wanna see you go through it again

and i'm afraid
if i let go
that this time you might fall down with me

and tonight
after i'm gone
you'll do it all over again

everything is beautiful
we don't see it all the time
everything is always there
in someone else's time
in someone else's mind
it's someone else's find
it's someone else's grind
it's someone else's place
it's someone else
isn't it

we don't miss
the things that we love
when they're gone

we miss
the things that love us
when we let them go

that twinkle in your eye
that you wanted me to see
is the only reason why
it gets reflected back at me

another set of circumstances
might have changed the dice
and used up all my second chances
couldn't count the price

not believing what i have
is not what it's about
it's not concealing safety as
the dirt beneath the grout

but who you are and what you do
means everything to me
and i hope that what i mean to you
everyone can see

a zephyr of desire
a truth that's meant to be
the warmth within the fire
the waves within the sea

i know we'll find a way
then we'll show them how it's done
and that's all i want to say
i think that you're the one

i watched the planets twinkle
and while they shimmered and shuttered
it seemed they were trying to say something
but they're really far away
600 million miles or thereabouts
and whatever they were saying
they probably said an hour ago
which got me thinking
how unfair it is to think
they were talking to me alone

my galaxy starts blinking
red, green, orange and pink
like it's trying to say something
and it's right next to me

suddenly i'm shrinking
there's always room to shrink
because i don't want to say anything
and you're right next to me

tumbling and sinking
into the solace of the drink
i don't care about anything
except what's right next to me

it takes a long time, waiting
hoping you'd give me a ring
i want it more than anything
but i can't take the call right now
i'm chatting to the stars

where do you go when you're full to the brim
back to the beginning, i guess

where do you go when your country doesn't want you
back to where you came from, i guess

where do you go when you're misunderstood
back to the laboratory, i guess

but when those tests have passed
and we all start to change
when it happens so fast
and it all seems so strange
when something so innocent
becomes so deranged
what then

where do you go when you need to confide
i've run out of places to hide

i've made a few mistakes
in my life
but i've seen a lot
and i've learnt a lot
and i've felt enough to know
that forget is better than forgot

i've taken a few chances
in my time
but i've given much
and i've slipped the clutch
and i've sold enough to show
that today is not tonight

but right now, i hope
that when i die
the earth will **** me in
and chew me up another way
so someone else can soak that in
and make it shine another way

as long as i can
as long as i might
i want to do what's right
so it can start again
so i can do it again
i probably should
and i can

but what's right, is it might, is it should've or can't
is it what if, or what for, or what are the chances
is it power, or clever, or getting it on
is it scraping what's left of it off of the lawn
is it legend, or legendary
nobody knows
nobody knows

but whatever happens
i hope to be my best
so that someone else will benefit
yeah, i hope i'll be my best

and then she fell silent
and i never heard her again
she said some things, sure
shouted some others
ignored me to the point of near suicide, and then

she crumpled up my dignity
squashed it to bits
took whatever she could
and then
she did it all over again

i honestly don't know what's worse
to live a life that's devoid of sincerity
or to seriously pretend you're alive

i don't know what its worth, either
to live a life that's bound to prosperity
but how many beans make five?

two beans, a bean and a half, half a bean and a bean
and a toothbrush and a monkey wrench to clean the space between
the first thing that you'll notice about a has-been
is what it's seen

now i have a story to tell
because i always wanted to be a writer, and
i didn't worry about it
i watched the world spin past me, and
so i sat quietly in the corner
none of it was making any sense, and
i really wanted to document it
i wanted to figure out what went wrong, and
now it hurts like hell


some things go from bad to worse
and others can only get better
sometimes i wish it had been in reverse
or i'd read it the other way round.

there are just two things that make it my song
the fact that i sang it
and the fact that you listened
everything else is just music

so much time
that we afford
and forget we need to use it

so much love
and then forget
how little we afford it

time can get you love
and love will buy some time
money helps.

this is how you always will be
etched into my memory
that's how you got me
a brilliant mind
naughty, for sure
(perfect)
instantly pure
ostensibly kind
that's where you will be
ingrained within my memory
this is how you always should be


okay, i've missed out on a jackpot
but not for lack of trying
slithered past the sweet spot
put up with all the lying
spread out like an ink blot
too intricate to die in
it isn't what you haven't got
it's what you put it in
but the one thing that i'm not
is what you'll always be
behind the blind, beneath the rot
between the mensch and me
i totally gave it my best shot
now finally you're free
the space behind the parking lot
the colours that we see

i don't think i'll find anyone quite like you ever again
you fattened me up, only to rip me apart, and then
we made a decision to start all over again
and we did it again
and again and again
forever and ever, amen

the sky may be grey
and my soul may be dark
but that doesn't make it okay

the angels you whispered to
inside my heart
wouldn't have it any other way

your method was profound
an intricate art
there's not that much more left to say

and now that we're done
now we can start
to throw it all away

and then when we're done
it's already begun
we'll do it all over again
the same game
the same

when someone gets shut
in a relationship rut
it's so easy to say he's at fault

no matter if logical
trumps economical
someone has taken the salt

so yes i'm dishonest
it's selfish at best
in denial of what i've abused

but no, it's not ignorant
perhaps a bit arrogant
the only defence that i used

i did my best
you chose not to care
instead i get threatened
get given the stare
while i'm getting battoned
and you're over there
with the rest

i would feel useful, i should
if not for the fact
that i am so used to it

the flames speak the truth
as they fly away from their embers
it's been three dozen decembers
since my youth

the blade that's been forged
as its passed down through generations
sharper than all my creations
gets ignored

the beat of the drum
as it vibrates with a synergy
as it sparks an epiphany
but for some

the mood that remains
the need to reason, or wonder why
as the stars crawl across the sky
simply drains

it feels so unjust
i don't want to go on without her
the sunrise is a metaphor
and i must

lost inside a time when you believed
when you were focused on your rhetorical belief
i have to admit, i felt a bit relieved
when you took that pill and made it spell relief

stuck inside a crime i didn't do
when you say you'll make it work and then you don't
i have to admit, i understand the shame
but i also feel a little bit ashamed

we are lost
in time
lost beneath the colours
lost within the others
we are lost
astray
it would be easier to say
that this had never come our way

and in the fading of the moonlight
the willingness to do right
i've never been so eager to explore
i wanted to do more
than i'd ever done before
but it's alright
it's alright
there's more

no light
no fear
this is where we began

but dark is vast
and fear is relative

and so begins a cycle
of forming light
and fighting fear
as each one provides

i am not afraid
i just can't see
i survived another year
there's balance in the tides

i could open up the internet
and find out
a lot about you

and there are a few ways
to do this
anonymously

i could open up an onion route
and really find out
everything about you

and love you in a million ways
without you never, ever
knowing who i am

i could pretend it never happened
all of this
but you know we won't forget

once scarred, twice shy, and three times complete
this is how i start to trust the ground beneath my feet

i am not a good poet
i just write them all down
but i found a way
to let things go

i didn't even know it
that time she shot me down
what she couldn't say
was let it go

she somehow wouldn't show it
but by pulling me down
the ball was in play
it needs to go

it was stupidly slow, it
presses me the **** down
just flick it away
and let it go... up

let it stay in the realm of consistency
this isn't what it means to be free
and if you're too contrived to see
then let it be

i am a suitcase
full of memories
i'm the best thing
you had last year

i am the ketchup
on your french fries
i am the best thing
you had last year

i am the puzzle
to your solution
i am the best thing
you had last year

i am the flashlight
to your darkness
i am the best thing
you had all year

better wake him up
better shake him up
better wake him up
so he can hear

it was only that last time
that last time
that one and only time
you were here

i am the duct tape
sealing all your boxes
i am the best thing
you had all year

i am the usual
minding my own business
i am the best thing
eight long years

better listen now
better listen how
better listen to what you thought
was so severe

it was only that last time
that very last time
that was the only time
you were ever
really
here

i am not alone
but i am unique
maybe that's why i feel lonely

then again maybe not
i totally forgot
what we were talking about in the first place

i wish that i was effervescent
sometimes
the rain would sort that out
i wish i was a pale shade of grey

i wish that i was totally indifferent
sometimes
to be within and not without
the pain would slowly drain away

and sometimes
i wish i was the canvas
your watercolours wash against
slide beneath the present tense

nothing less, nothing more
score, four, the one thing i adore
openly, decidedly
the wickedness you took from me
the stitcher that you chose to be

sometimes
oh yes, i'm ready
let it rain down
let it rain

if a tree dies in the forest
would you ask for it by name?
not likely, since we lend the same to paper
as we do our splintered shame

yeah i know it doesn't matter
to me, at least not yet
it's likely, since we know what effort
gets given to that game

we know, right
we've seen it
with our own eyes
our own aberrated eyes
we've seen it
with our own eyes
our own
subjective
eyes

i give what i can and won't when i can't
watch the reflection bounce off of the slant
i'm not inconspicuous, that much is true
better the devil that's hidden in you

for all of my yearning, my discourse remains
thoroughly, utterly, horribly strange
and so to the skeptic, or he who complains
it isn't too late to arrange

i won't when i can't and i want what i give
because surely that's the best way to live
as loud as i shout, to the deaf and the broken
it will never compare to the day i'd awoken

taken for granted, that sounds about right
deliberately, knowingly doing the same
this and that, ***-for-tat, it'll all be alright
a whisper from somewhere outside of the frame
when there's nobody else to blame
it's your fault

we've spent months
staring at the stars
talking to ducks
looking for tomorrow
and the best thing
you could come up with
was never part of it

i have a hunch
living on mars
not giving a ****
bleeding your sorrow
that the last thing
you came up with
was never part of it

it's okay, believe me i know
it shows

it's not final, surely
that's the tragedy
it's not the beginning
or the end
it's not the start
nor the excuse
it's what it is
a hot, smelly mess
a time to reflect
on what we have left
it means something, doesn't it

for years and years i've tried to keep my head above the water
the line between the darkness and the sunshine that defines it
for years i've wondered what it is i'd ever get to tell her
if the line between those metaphors was ever that complicit
for years and years and years that opportunity got shorter
the lines between the lines that never fit

i'm still alive - i'm forty-five - that doesn't really matter
the years that happened in between don't really seem to mind it
feels like every time i try to stick my head out of the gutter
the lines that keep connecting us are ever more explicit
and every time my fishing line retracts a little shorter
my heart, my soul is telling me to let it

that lonely deck of cards that's being led towards the slaughter
that slow persistent hopefulness that wants to take me with it
with every waking moment i can't wait to get to know her
and shower it with words so even i could never miss it
the distance to that end looks like it's finally getting shorter
and something in me tells me not to quit

they say fortune favours the brave
but right now it favours the dave

caught up in the mesh it
still couldn't unleash it

alive and in the flesh it
still couldn't punish it

try hard to be selfish it
still wouldn't finish it

if i had been boorish it
still wouldn't accomplish it

looking at it in anguish it
still doesn't banish it

through the tip of an airbrush it
still can't admonish it

if i could wish it
i'd dish it
then swish it
away

poetry is a celebration of language
with a cast of words
written by thoughts
directed by feelings
produced by passion
videographed by memory
and an audience of millions

he represented all of us
a lucid mind
and a giving soul
the sharpest wit
and a focused goal
in a broken body

i still have my first copy of a brief history of time
and the things he said in it are still as sublime
as the subject it tackled, the passion, the rhyme
it will resonate through me in space and in time
for as long as i'm in the horizon

there it is, you got what you want
but you don't know what you want
so you got what i gave you
and i did it to show you
that i can love you enough
but that wasn't enough
you just don't understand
god, i don't understand
what you mean to me
yet it's all about me

you can't tell me what i did wrong
so i've literally done nothing wrong
you made it my fault
but i can't be at fault
so why should i care
if you couldn't care
why should i give a ****
when you don't give a ****
why should i worry
about your worry

while back here i'm terrified

whichever way you play it
if you don't want to say it
i won't say it either

whichever way you want it
however we confront it
i totally believe her


you might think it's madness
it doesn't really matter though
my measure of her kiffness
i'm pretty sure by now you know
has cured of me of my blindness
her eyes already said so


we're on the same page
i know, she knows
and it shows

reach for it with both hands
if you can
hold on to it
reach it from both sides

reach it through the storm
when you do
make the most of it
reach between the lines

teach them what you know
if you can
hold on to it
teach them what it means

teach another lesson
when you do
make the most of it
a teacher's what it needs

don't feel left out, you know what it's about
you had me fooled the first time, and i'm out

there's a me that loves me
and a me that loves you
most times they're the same

but the demon in me
and the demon in you
are playing a different game

the me that's in me
and the you that's in you
don't have to be the same

but the you that's in me
and the me that's in you
are betting all the same

don't mistake my kindness for weakness
and please don't take me for granted
you'll know the difference
accept nothing less than what you see
you see
because
we all have a burden
and sometimes we could all do with a br ea..k ..
someone to talk to
someone who'll listen
it makes all the difference
between being taken for granted
and being that kind of weak

you're never alone
but you don't always know it
i know how you feel
but you don't always show it

i love you. i look after you. i take care of you. i want the best for you. i buy you your medicine. i put a roof over your head. i found us the oxygen. i let you sleep in my bed. i let you get into my head. i listened. glistened, maybe. i exploded. imploded, then exploded again baby. i fought, won and lost all at the same time. i need you. you need me. we can work it all out together, you and me. and we'll sail all the seas, as long as we need to, but you lied.

it can be fixed. but you don't want that. it's okay. it was worth it. don't know why. never will. it exploded. imploded, then exploded again baby. and then arranged itself back into a neat little pile. i trusted you. i let myself into the comfort you provided. i must be braindead. tumour, rumour, enough has been said. loser you said, ahead of the rest, put to the test, surely, maybe, but you lied.

i don't mind if you don't understand me. but please stop telling me who to be, and tell jf and nixie to shut the hell up. i get the impression that reason's enough to make me a victim, sure i concede, i don't even know how to read. between the lines, the subtly sublime, i thought it was time, but you lied.

you got what you want and it's not about me
good job

i'm not seeking any atonement
i'm just looking on with astonishment
another complicit assignment
another perfunctory accomplishment

it's worth taking a moment
to throw it all away
because at least you can say
you tried

how many times can you say the word oxygen in one breath?
ha haa, i thought so.

how to really feel alone
make a decision
then get told what to decide

stuck inside the same voracious loop
that spins around like laundry
better hang it out to dry, couldn't tell you why
it wouldn't be the same

hanging with the same old group
significant but ******
better pay attention, here begins the lesson
it shouldn't be the same

the extent of my imagination leaves no doubt
whenever you feel the need to shout
i don't mind what you're leaving me without
besides, it's not about
you

it's not about me, nor them
it's not about the things that could have been
the space between, is this a dream
it's not the same
it's not the same

in another time i might have been a superhero
and someone else would be called the heroine
we could have watched a movie called less than zero
i mean who does that right
no, wait... cut cut cut cut, let's try that again

oh thank you daveman, you saved us
(she says with a grin)
oh thank you
(she winks)
you're pretty hot
(she thinks)
there's danger, let's ****

and then i woke up

i dream about us both at night
i dreamt about us both, and then
i realise we both were right
i realised we hustled them

i know that we were lock-nut tight
i knew that we were locked, and then
i push against the need to fight
i pushed against them all

if only i had found you in a dream
i wouldn't need
to go to sleep at all
if only i'd convinced them to believe
i wouldn't need
to sleep

time is a thing and it's useful
instead it becomes an excuse
a tree as a thing can be fruitful
everything down to the root
scars are a thing and they whisper
secrets from under the whisp
i always try to be truthful
but it gets in the way of my youth

some scars are severe
some indelibly permanent
some can be dangerously near

but what happened that year
has been pretty persistent
and yes, i wish you were here

yes, i wish i had nothing to do with it, and i wish i'd never have met you, but that's not true, i followed it through and i'm all for the better, umbrella, the shade from the sun that you shone that left sunburns that scream and cry and shame me for hating and scraping and flaking and breaking and making and hurting and trying to buy my way out of this...

but i can't, because otherwise it wouldn't be a scar, right?