Passiflora Petals flank my pillow,
Valerian's the pollen on my brow,
My thought flies where night clouds rise and billow,
and dream-ships sail with angels at the bow.

Marigold has deepened into nightshade,
twilight falls where nothing moves or sings,
twisted shadows flicker on the light shade,
Sleep Angel comes, on poppy-tinted wings.

Running water changes into voices,
stairs yield to the footfalls of the dead,
helpless sleep is running out of choices,
Sleep Angel wraps her wings around the bed.

Curtains stare with eyes that once were flowers
till their colours deepened into grey;
restless visions haunt the starlit hours,
Sleep Angel will chase them all away.

The morning took me in her arms,
wrapped me in her misty folds
And waking with her once again I felt not so alone

A feeling I had often, the walls I'd built would hold
the others all with out me, kept them all away
I thought that's what I wanted, to be so all alone

My journey to this keep of mine was long and slow and sure
I did not know where it would lead, but each day
I kept moving closer

Behind my walls, and in my keep, I felt safe all alone.
Soon the echos of the emptiness played upon my mind
I heard each noise unto itself as if it were a din

I toiled at my walls, worked hard to build them strong
Keep out the din, keep out the pain, keep out the sun
Sat in a room of hundreds, and sensed I was alone

Pain finds a way, it always does.
It prays on the alone
And so my keep brought me company unwanted while alone
The pain I worked to keep away
seeped through the mortar
seeped through the stone
seeped through the ceiling
seeped through my walls

And I was alone
with pain

Hemingway taught us that the sun also rises
The lost are redeemed
The heart is resilient

One came that could not see my walls
I was laid bare before her
My soul was open to her touch

One came and I began to realize that pain could be replaced
if only you take down the walls and open the heart

The morning dawns, the day renewed
And waking with her once again I felt not so alone

What a soul so harmonious,
What a mind so frank.
For not the doctor,
As he replied she'll be returning home.

Her child so unaware and aghast,
"I want my mommy!" He mourns.
How to tell a youthful son,
He doesn't have a mommy anymore.

Her carcass now cinders,
Only in the color of iron.
Into the atmosphere she goes,
Still remaining in consciousness hearts.

I wanted you to save me.
But you were not strong enough to lift me up and fly with me.

And what if nobody will be?
Maybe I am too heavy - I have too many dreams.
Dreams are heavy.
I wanted to share them with you, so that we could carry them together, but you closed your heart.
We could be above the clouds, flying up to the Sun now - you could have made me lighter and I could have made you happy.

At least we wanted to be one...
Will anybody else want to be one with me ever?
Will anybody be able to lift me up?
Will anybody open the gates of his heart to let my dreams fill it with rubies, pomegranates and roses?

I am not complete on my own.
Something is missing.
Someone is missing.
And that aches.

Find me.
You were made for me, and maybe I was made for you.
You just have to believe in it.
I do.
So find me.

A little girl; so innocent

Broken, like concrete

Forsaken in this world

As God had chosen to replete

Forever damaged

Spare me the deceit

That I have long encountered

Mentally ****** and incomplete

I broke the mirrors

That distorted my vision

I am not perfect

I am far from precision

Just a judicial decision

To execute this excision

To ensure that this provision

Of unwanted unborn children

Remain broadcasted on public television

For the captivity of the elderly

Scorned, defeated and miserable

Left in utter decay

Salvaging day and night

Part of this twisted foreplay

That took place on Christmas Eve

For Chirst to be born

On such a horrible day, to entail

This sad story of evil

Demons from hell rose in this tale

But Jesus did nothing

Except to defy the Holy Grail

My exorcism, my ghost

To whom shall I toast?

To the one who left me to burn?

To define myself in these lies

God, I am flawed by your unconcern

Jesus, I am mocked by your reputable lies

For that you deserve a noble prize

Can't you see the concern in my eyes?

I have lost my allies

And I have become the worst

That I could possibly be

Part taking in these sins

Is that what you wanted from me?

You deny my existence

You hide behind pride

You force coincide

And you deny individuality

You force this conceited ******* to form

Or so you implied

Turns out the shock was worldwide

But that didn't stop you

From setting me aside

Sitting in your corner

Contemplating

Is she human or a mutation

Something somewhat malformed

Or perhaps just a devil

An ogre at best

Fine be that way

I am not one to detest

My worst side though

I do not advise you test

I am not blessed

For it is in black that I dress

"Satan's spawn!" they protest

Is it my fault that I am possessed?

Conniving and witty

I am sick of this mess

God you put me here

But nevertheless

I am obscene

And forever your mess

I don't know what it is,
but I distrust myself
when I start to like a girl
a lot.