My eyes are in need of an emergency shower
For they have been contaminated
My mind is in need of a coffee filter
Lest I consume the grinds
and deter myself from the benefits of waking
The goal is elevation
I crave liberation

It's so heavy this fascination
forming an obsession to pick your mind apart
and take the feeling into me
make you a piece of my puzzle
so full of charm and mystery
if I could only reach out and touch
what I see

Everything I wanted
was placed into my lap
and I watched it unfold before me
gift wrapped in black
and my smile began fading
gradually
like some spoiled little twit
The more it began to reveal itself
The more distraught I'd get
"Look! Its just what you've asked for!"
The universe ,
so unbiased and eager to please
as overflowing wishing wells brought me
to my knees
I screamed

"PLEASE JUST TAKE IT BACK!!"

You are a thousand whispers carrying my thoughts
to places they have never achieved.
Inspiring good faith and sound strength,
I never thought I could feel this whole and serene.
It was always you since there has been a me,
you were meant to be in all of your wondrous glory,
and although your face I have yet to see I already know it's home.
If only you could see how much this love is changing me,
I have never been so sure.
You have given me purpose,
conviction,
and infinite love while we ponder the possibilities of your name.

Industry hides under a cunning guise
in which we are blinded
gorgonized
They certainly aren't for you and yours
priorities are set on higher scores
Lost we are
in the wake of corporate greed
in which bottom feeders
fufill and satisfy the belly of this beast
Which pumps out plastics,toxins,and pollutants
in return for our dollar
Killing mother's purity
obscene individual study proves to be
and we overindulge for their prosperity
What a shame,a disgrace,a great pity
that we sell out to this unmerciful machine
I say we let mother be
just let her be
Dont let it be

I wan't a new pair of shoes
that are made for tough terrain
That people admire
tightly laced
where I can leave an imprint
on every place I roam
I need new shoes for I have grown

Wrenching lonely hearts plunge into the abyss
moaning over sleepless nights
With concrete weights attached to their wrists
and they cling to the tapestries of days spent
Coming up with endless theories of how or why
they were reduced to this
Beating their chest hoping the ache would forfeit
and the physical stain leaves the worst hunger pains
Graveling for a crumb of red velvet cake
Shaken to the core in the wake of a bed that's occupied no more
Twisting in the sheets
on the hooves of love's defeat
Playing beats to ease the tension
in desperate search of redemption but
within those late hours there's nothing but darkness
Wishing endlessly that they could depart from
the trials faced in rejection
Perspectives blackened and scorched
by a lover's torch

I love the blues
the melancholy
never fails to capture my
despondent state of mind

Not something relished
but has become an obsession
those low chords strumming
harmoniously

A splash of liquor could
amplify
The pity party
The speakers high

Even if I could disguise
I do not dare hide dimise
because I dont have a fashion sense
and I cant stand negligence

You reached for my hand
and I bowed my head
it'd take too much energy to touch you
and although we are both forsaken
I'd rather face cold rejection
Then stand beside you
You're merely a reminder
of the constant abrupt change derailing my life
and yes I work out of spite and harbor resentment
more than the next crossed lass I'm guessing
I just cant give in to a lie
a trick
and happiness isn't built upon shame and illness
So when I caught cupid pinching my ***
you best believe my hoof gave him quite the blast
never say never?
...never with you

I weave through the crowd
realizing how tiny I am
faces blurring together
my smile jaded
watching people unwind
and ditch their clothes

One of many Key West festivals

I can feel his eyes hateing everyone
looking at me
his hand firmly wrapped around mine
hes not used to this kind of thing
and like a pit bull he looks out for me

We watched as outsiders
and it felt so good to be with someone
I  love
I cant help but see duval as a sea of lost souls
A place where paradise took too many drugs

I scrubbed away at their plates
I need new forks and knives
I tore up the white carpet
that was made to be stained
that once kept me occupied and distracted
The mess had me wasting my time
My arms reaching for more than this design
For now I've come to see
that this is not my destiny
I am far from a 50's house wife
No matter how much I was denied
By my own doing or theirs
I will rise and bare a new name
I aim to gain
I want to build
yet I fear I'll be killed by my own tools
If like me they recognize

I have all the pieces in front of me
all within plane sight
yet it's all hidden
from the conscious mind
I seek it out in the dead of night
when the DMT connects me with everything
and navigate primality
instinctually I sense it in the day
we have the sixth sense
and it's just waiting to be awakened

I feel this undying need
to bring myself to a higher plane
my mind a run away train
that managed to veer off track
only to be redirected
and brought back to center

Peace is the moment we
find our way back
to the path that suits us
and I am sprinting breathlessly
in a desperate attempt to salvage

Once again regaining the strength
to repair and purify
with nothing other than growth in mind
our internal battles are most brutal
but fighting them is surely time well spent
The only war I believe in

With such vigorous opposition
The only thing that is left is perdition
Will the soil ever produce quite the same
What a shame
War and peace carpooling in the fast lane
Justified through producing excuses and rage
A dissension the history books might explain
But those who carry the pain will wane
All empathy lost in the jagged print of a factual page
How many contradictions will we endorse before we realize
How many children will die before we sympathize

You gave me a rush with the slip of your tongue
your eloquence radiating hot from your lips
As sligh as a fox your wit tied a knot
I yanked just alittle abashed at the fact I was caught
zeroing in
Your hand reached for my chin
as my gut wrenched and screamed
I caved and grinned
and let my eyes meet your defined brow
like a tree in the forest
this beating went on without a sound
and my intoxication soared but was more played upon
I'll be your little fool
your scapegoat
your mouse
but rest assured one day I'd gnaw my way out

Lives have been taken
Loved ones are gone
As our heros tried to
save them
They were lost
As the fog lifted and
The clouds rolled a
burst of silence went
through us all
No one could speak
Not even flinch
We could still hear
screaming inside our heads
and in our minds we ask ourselves
What just happend?!
The answer?
No one knows

You took everything
and returned to the scene
To take home some images of victory
and I knew too late what happend
Staring right into your eyes as the realization ended
All I could do was try to look anew
Attempting not to bleed right through
While I splashed about in shallow waters
I'll just have to learn how to go without
The shame in this game will never max out
and you left me there weeping
Sold me cutthroat trout
I ate it up
Gluttonously
Then spit out the bones of the person I used to be
She's so far from me
I ode to the quicksand beneath my feet
To the weasle who found a way into my keep
The racoon who robbed me so blind
and left me defiled morales
Now left behind and strung about
I graced him like a loser should
I fought but much too late I understood

I lay in a bed of sighs and give in
my pain balled up in my throat
taunting my eyes into tears
Apathy sets in as I watch the hours pass
Christmas specials screaming of cheer
as I look on faithless
unable to give or forgive myself
for the time wasted feeling this grim
As my soul growls and turns
begging for a smile that was meant
A deep hunger strengthens
When did I become this?
How did this happen?
What will it take to extract the thorn?
I watch the symptoms spread into the ones
I love
As I selfishly plunge into the abyss of forlorn

The night gave off an uneasiness
There was a static storm looming
I closed my eyelids in eagerness
Hoping for sleep to consume the feeling

I saw him walking beside me
A memory endlessly creeping in
Once again his step falls behind me
Filling me with pain and panic

I turn almost instinctually
Grasping a blade tightly in hand
Striking him with unnerving velocity
A reoccurring dream of killing him

The heat left a haze of illusion
As she walked the line between breakdown and motion
The ocean yielded it's breeze
She staggered through hell or so it seemed
Yet around her there was peace

Eyes cast down due to blinding light
That takes so much from her
Yet she's still game to fight
For she knows soon there will be night

Oh distant sun
I ode to thee
While sweating out my impurities
Where once I'd flee
I now welcome rays
Please carry me off to another place

When the night falls
I falter to the what ifs
and drift into our old familiar seas
Like in a dream
One in which I wish I wouldn't wake
and hope to shake for it's breaking me
I carry the weight of every embrace
Now left to waste in the empty space left in my heart
Where you've made your mark
Before our depart
Carving your name
With such a beautiful art
You are my star so far
I beg my mind to stop envisioning you
I implore it to but it wont
and I don't know how to deal with this dread
That lays beside me each night in bed

Seclusively we sit
Slightly touching eachother
Starving I turn to the
Sweet scent enticing me
I want to taste those lips
So shy you can't seem to meet my eyes
Softly I place my hand under your chin
Supporting your confidence
Seductively we engage in heavy air
See sweet thing I only bite alittle bit

Fleeting moments pass within the blink of an eye
The more you try to grasp the more time takes and robs you blind
I try to embrace the rapid fire but it burns my chest to ash
Watching as everything I've known drifts past
Out of reach and washed away with bleach
Till there's no color left
Only desperate breaths
and piercing silence
As if I've suffered some tragic death
To gain is to lose and to lose is to gain
But as a creature of routine I strain to maintain
Rythem
But the song is long gone
Now left with fragmented thoughts and a broken wardrum
Undone

When your gone
I feel it all around me
like the walls whisper your name
and praise
my heart lingers on yearning
through the night
my dreams all capture your face
the faint ghostly touch of your hand
sends chills up my spine
and my body aches until its
graced by your presence
I hate time
and how it plays tricks on our
minds withering in the absent
cold weather distance creates
I've learned I cant live a day
happily without you
around every corner I see your face
haunted and displaced
Please can you promise me just one thing?
Next time you go
Dont leave without me

Her focus was on the fields of childhood dreams
melting into the sun,while catching grasshopers
playfully she'd dance along
innocence clung to the wisps of her hair
she knew nothing of vanity
only how to find the beauty in the palm of her hand

He came to her from another place
in which he knew so well
and watched her in all her glory and grace
his heart began to fall
and so begins his tales of love
fishing for her song

"You'll learn to love me one day"
he'd say
such an arrogant disreguard
he pulled her away from the field of dreams
and introduced her to the world
estranged she followed blindly into something
so foreign to her

When he finally saw her instead of his reflection
he confessed to what he'd done wrong
and he had grown into a towering tree
from a little shaggy shrub
She touched upon the hot flesh of his cheek
and began to love him from that moment on

For in moments of unbiased honesty like these
even a girl can see a man is born

I closed my eyes and drifted back
into the frosted grass and colored leaves
of my childhood memories
crows carrying an obscene melody
as the wind whispers tales of winter
the trees bare the flowers withered
rodents and birds can sense the shiver
busily preparing for the everlasting division
death falls over the land like a plague
and I walk with a smile as the colors rain
respectfully silent as the lushious greens
reduce to compost below my feet
the bountiful summer once again has met its match
as the sun fades off into the distance

It was quite the fiasco based on figment
Finite and forged
Our affair kept me famished
Fabricated and farce
Merely a fantasy where I featured a feasible feather
So far from my flock
Forlorn on a foreign turf
Why me?I began to fathom
Flustered as I fought the formidable

He was a vandal
Vigorous and vindictive
I'd often venture to misapprehend his vacant vitality leaving me indifferent
I became lost in this vagabond
Now left voided and breaking under scrutiny
This vermin could be the death of me

I knew a man once
who saved me from destruction
He had this crazy way about him
Within his presence you couldn't help
but feel alive

He was generous
and proactive
His salvation was achieved
through helping others

He had a savings account
in which he'd drop his change
and soon he'd accumulated
so many wonderful things

But none of these things could be found
in his home for they were nothing of material
many times in life he'd been broken down on
the side of the road

A feeling I believe we've all had a chance
to know
and he vowed from then and still today
if he witnessed this event he
wouldnt walk away

Through bankruptcy he kept this account
Refusing to help himself
and whom ever found themselves broken
down were surely lucky when he came around

Generousity for him was a necessity
Helping others was for his own benefit
because giving others hope
meant the world to him
No doubt thats money well spent

I feel the sharp realities pierce straight through my wanna be day dreams
I look at you with uncertainty and strain to keep the questions from surfacing
If I could only stay in this fanciful game of believing and achieving  
But too soon my scars start seeping the deception and leave you uneasy
I want to be the girl you imagine but I am made up of lesson
I hate to be the one to show you things aren't always as they seem

Crisp air envelopes my lungs
and I breathe deeply taking in August's monologue
I fade into Summer's passing song
Holding tightly to the moment and every loving thought
because too soon it will be gone
The grass beneath my feet tickles my playful nature
Where once as a young hopeful observer my toes knew the sensation
Intimately
I am morphing into a different breed
As cunning as a fox
I let the fear displace and grace the day with curiosity
and ambitious velocity
Ready for anything and everything to come my way
No longer waiting
I'm joining the chase

Gavel in hand
and eyes that cast shadows
on my face
Who are you?

The world is full of double standards
unforgiving
holding ever so tightly to
a false image of god
Hateful
Inhumane

Curse you robots accustomed to dogmatic belief
Your counterfiet
Half assed
Rehashed
Evolve already!
my mind trails....
down different paths
curse me
crucify me

I love to love
built to need another
to feel
to think for myself
to love being a women
and the power that comes with it
My conscience
clear

How's yours?
Guilted into life
Worshipping death
**** off the ones that disagree
metaphorically
and play your role "right"
In the big machine

I am more than rust or grease
a lever a pully a tool to please
and the day I die I'll rest with peace
knowing I operate differently

I'm planting seeds in December
I planted One for love
Two for peace
Three for every moment I felt the breath of eternity
slipping through your lips as I brushed mine across your flesh
gracefully grazing with my fingers
the curve in your back
Healing the strain and tension that your work had let in
I held my left hand above your skin
and prayed the pain that had sunk in
would flow into me
I drew it out persistently
I took it all in a heart beat
and I watched as your mind drifted off quitely
Hoping it would lead you into serenity
With my right hand I projected
all the beauty I had collected
while watching the sun decend sleepily into the sea
and I witnessed you exhale all the trials you faced recently
My hands now taking you into a vast journey
Your conscious mind lulled into sleep
and I talked with you telepathically
Tracing the points sensationally
Touching upon subjects that needed to be
Soulfully blessing the night with a gift of insight
My love I felt everything
Unthawing the earth with the spark of spiritual empathy
I planted four seeds for always
and five for our hopes
The six I had left I repeated the first three
and I watched them grow
Two bonded effortlessly
into One being
Corresponding
Equilibrium
Perfectly
Forget-me-nots began flourishing

Out of focus fuzzy figured dancers
dancing the step of life
spin and shift moving with the tides
and tho there was an effort to learn
I failed and bailed to find room 101
To the hustle and bustle of blurs and
white noise
'I bid a soundless farewell
and when you caught me glancing
a moment too long
I guess you should have known
I was never built for this world

My lust is a trip like DMT
A kiss of death I'm Poison Ivy
I smell of garlic and horseradish
I'm yellow in color
But not threatening my dish

I'm a scarlet lover
The White Mouse you failed to capture
and being a women I was slighted in the matter
Exhaling H5N1 on my breath
No one yielded once I left them speechless
Chirping my songs possessing the charms of sirens

Beauty is illusive
Seduction is bait
*** is violent
Power is the cake

I enjoy Big Boys for the chances they take
Ego is the downfall of the great
ZZZ top gives you the steak
I can't resist the urge to devour savoring the taste
Let's play for sake of convulsive spasms
I could use a good power trip followed by an ******

With clarity and understanding there's no need to fight nor work out of spite
Peace is held in the moment we realize we have so little time
Matters of dispute perish in this collective state
That we will all leave this place in the exact same way
The great
The weak
The bleak
We all one day will become obsolete
It's time we connect and practice empathy
Love is the ultimate and only true prosperity

She's beautiful
I look on with such envy
Remembering the days you held me
Full of self pity
Feeling empty
Wondering why I need a man to feel worthy
I spilt the milk and cried myself silly
Leaving the mess to remind me of my folly
Note to self : I'm sorry
As I wipe my own tears missing my stability
He never even loved me

Misconstrued and misguided,
the small minded blindsided,
by the devil who crept through the back door.
Ignored or mistaken for the things you adore,
the thrill that kills any trace of will.
A siren tricking the mind to hearing silence
at alarming stakes.
It all makes me shake with rage,
for it's hate that's been my saving grace,
because I know the results of stolen faith.

If I were brave I'd speak my mind
consequence failing to enter my sights
just let it all go and know that I am right
but my mouth is silenced with reason

At times I wonder if I have too much consideration

Why conscience?I suffer so

Never acting on emotion
knowing it would feel so good...

all my anger
all my fear
all my sadness

filed away in tiny cabinets

Is it strange that I hate my logic?

Corruption invades for unlawful gains
and lies are scripted so eloquently and fluidly
trickling down on you and me
Our eyes full of mouthwash
as exhausted history repeats
and like a lost little lamb
I dont know what to believe

It was too sweet
My mouth salivated almost painfully
There were too many chills
Too many thrills
Long nights sugar coated and pale
Sickening

I stood in the aftermath
stunned and on the verge of breaking
mistaken and led astray
displaying dulled shades of grey
with not one to blame
and no grounds to gain
temptations and desire
the devils play
and I watched the cards rain down in flames
so hot to touch so bitter the taste
too devasted to keep a poker face
As the mob watches laughing at my dismay
I cradled a sentiment that lost all value
a picture frame flooded by my immoral statue
but there he stood before my eyes
I scratched out my face and gazed into his eyes
Remembering always falling sweet from his lips
I'll **** myself forever looking back on this

Passion comes like a home invasion leaving the walls whispering incessantly tiny inquiries that lack any true evidence invoking perturbatious uncertainty.You find your self endlessly pondering wondering if they appreciated or found quality in those little things that make people fall in love hopelessly.It's tiresome leaving one slightly disturbed plagued with persisting questions that ultimately elude one from themselves bewildered.You're either full of regret or feeling too pretentious caught up in some false sense of reality at times leading to changes in ones propriety.That is why we are all referred to as the young and the restless desperately trying to find ourselves as we slowly unravel the true life lesson.We search for assurance through another's eyes in need of acceptance even if it's merely a compelling lie so quick to deny ourselves truth.You must feel it on your own or you will remain condoned full of disappointment in the wake of true or imagined rejections and mortification.No matter what people do or say you must look within and find love without love a bullet proof brace.

The waves of music flow
like smoke through the rays of sunlight
peaking in the shades
It twirls and curls like my hips as they sway
and all I can do is gaze upon the ceiling
Feeling bold although I have nothing to hold
nor to call my own
Reality slips and fades
in my heart I am a bird freed from it's cage
Flying high on a song of hope that plays
Repetitiously
to distract me from the dismay silence brings
inevitably
Sweet tones ring out in heavenly peace
Creating a beautiful outlet of release

I shy from your piercing gaze
Consumed by passion as I wane from the comforts that once kept me grounded
Flying high on the feelings provoked
When you entered my tomb and evoked a lovers ghost
My room now lit with your radiant presence
As I digress and falter to heavy air leading to the path of least resistance
Hoping that my complexity doesn't **** this flame with cold reluctant bitterness
In which the past has inevitably carved into my character
I left my heart upon my sleeve and my frailty translucent
No matter the cost it was well worth the enchantment
The risk exhilarates and vibrates through my cortex
Turning me on and away from my senses
and when you lifted my chin there was no doubt that I want this
By the heat of your hand I melted into intoxicating madness
Adorned in beads of sweat reflecting my bodies tension
Yearning for lips I cant help but mention
because they've become somewhat of an obsession
I'm scratching at your heart almost desperate for recognition
Swearing that I don't need forever
Just one bright moment

We bloom like jasmine
Emanating exotic essence
The smell is enough to intoxicate
Enraptured I captured the heat from your flame
Glistening as each word peaks and captivates
Leaving me breathless
Vivid imagery penetrates and consumes my senses
The longing becomes astounding
Arousing  
Leading me into binding
I implore your mercy
For I am so thirsty
My mouth salivates at the thought of your lusting
No longer trusting my inhibitions
Because I can't hold back when it comes to your rhetoric
Your tongue is too precise and bombastic
Undeniably ******
Waves of ecstasy wash over me
The undertow bringing me far out to sea
You're almost otherworldly
I beg thee show me mercy

Juicy,Ripened,Crimson
Skin so smooth as if I picked
It right out of a painting
Autumns Orchards are flourishing
and ever so prosperous
I sink my teeth into the
luscious fruit and sinned
with the warmest grin
Ah! Heaven!

As the night consumed the last rays of dusk
I prepared myself for the hours of loss
The air so thick and unsettling
Another night spent pondering
Each moment less bearble than the last
I must have been a fool to fall into this

You are soft tone beauty
The kind that leaves them wondering
While they strive for perfection you silently shake
your head knowingly
Grace finds worthy language in your embodiment
Heavy words of whispered pillow talk claim you're heaven sent
Within your eyes your light could guide them all to enlightenment
On the crease of your curvaceous lips lies a grinning secret
You are a haze of euphoria
A touch followed by pure Oxytocin
For a piece of your mind and heart they flock full of anticipation
by the hundreds

A ring
welcoming
the smell of fresh coffee.
Intimate conversation

is white noise
to the melody in the mundane
coffee order of his familiar voice
that captures mine.

Although I’m earnest while saying hello,
her grin holds a thousand secrets;
the few words I manage seem small,
but she continues to collect them for her tip jar.

Hidden in line, he's disguised his affection.
She awaits his arrival, his orders; they share
silence. An unfilled cup and connection
swept away, unnamed, a new cross to bare.

I crave one moment
bright and astonishing
filled with revelations
liberating my mind
A moment that could
change everything
leaving this stagnation
behind