After a brush with death
his eyes were like kaleidoscopes
the scene reflected himself in relation
to an ever changing world

he felt impermance
in an after glow
as the sun decended behind
the mountain's asylum

Soldier Summit's quieted railroad
an attraction to some
but for others a refuge
after a long and hateful dawn

May their souls rest in peace
those who eternally are blanketed by snow
and may the moutains speak
to the survivors who fight to reach the top of them

Eyes veiled and full of misconceptions
I've been tested in the wake of expectation
Mass produced humiliation
Induced to become reclusive and stricken
A great appreciator of silence
Resilient and resistant
as I ponder my own completion and reliance
I shy my eyes from the broadcast and bypass the heart
that only beats and tracks superficial consummation
With such a great fear of sedation and the props preserved for consumption
Contemplating my voice in constant wonder if I will be beaten for seething over
the strange structure that kills spirit
I digress and rest at ease convinced I am blessed for I can see

I collect all the pieces of continuous reminiscence
From a space that will never be replaced nor decay in time
It remains entombed, tranquil, and sublime
Locked away in my mind
Revitalized Infinitely

To the all knowing Miser
I am far wiser for I have found a way to keep smiling
And though my clothes are ragged
Your edge is jagged
My will is of benevolence and teachings priceless
I wouldn't pay a penny for your thought
At the roots of all evil I'd call you Kenevil
but you wouldn't dare to spare heart
and while you loose all meaning as you dole your ill dealings
I'll observe with great seething
and pray that one day you'll fall from my ceiling
To haunt me no more

They were cold and sterile
Maybe that's why they plagued it
As they placed their signatures upon experimentation
and pushed too hard like a workhorse facing retirement

It's a script indeed
The downfall of a generation
Weak minded fiends cycle it out like ***** laundry
Siphoning jet fuel to reach new heights in sacrifice
It's no wonder why none of us can sleep at night

Me I'm just a piece of paper full of ineligible lines
Treated like a germ
With great pain held behind whimpering eyes
So hard to disguise

My pace quickened as I passed
Glossy eyes and desperate breaths
People clawing crying out
I continued forward heart cast out

The wind chimes played an awful tune
Off beat and so quick to assume
Consuming what's left of a peaceful night
Disturbing it with pitches too low or too high
Laughable to believe and fed to the dead
Whose lives seem better when misled
So may the birds tweet and let the dogs bark
I cant control the wind nor wish to win hearts

At times we must lose it all to gain
The pain only fuels our pace
As we race reaching and breaching
the lines we must cross to roam freely
It's a slight that allows such brevity
Embracing necessity  
Death is the only inevitable destiny
Hold onto nothing
and you'll obtain everything
A moment is fleeting
Embrace the reality
If you lived each moment as if it were your last
Only then could you possibly grasp
The beauty of a breath

He excited me into euphoria
His lips the nectar of ambrosia
Beatifying and leaving me exuberant
Centralizing my spirits
Focalizing my intentions to purity and growth
Bringing about equanimity true still calm invoked
I worshipped his sapphire portals
Reflections of hope and irresistible seduction
Falling gracefully to his charm
Fitting perfectly into his loving arms
Cradling my desires and nurturing my aching heart
Eternity felt within his touch
Impacting instantly a harmonious start
Staining and rippling
changing me
I longed for this being before knowing his name
I trusted once more and so much I've gained

She was stunning
in the both senses
beautiful yet confusing
like you didnt know what
to make of her
like she just knocked you in your nose

illusive and cunning
never to be trusted
a sly smile that reflected
a grimace in my eyes

She walked in the room and
all were consumed by her
but all I got was **** and Fragrance

My mind dismantled
decaying in cynic pride
silly fools galavanting
as I watch in bitter taste with darting eyes
wilting in devine nothings
plotting like a theif in the night
working my magic out of spite
only looking for a fight
trying to hate and fuel a rage
Banging in a rusty cage
while spitting on the notion of love
undone lying naked laughing alone
as all of my nightmares begin to unfold
Dancing demons caressing my weakened soul
Darkness surrounds my brittle bones
so far from the point of console
as I tare out my eyes and spit out my tongue
with ears only tuned for the devils song
Slowly dragged to the gates of hell
beyond redemption and cast out

I cant dismiss this aching uncertainty
It's wrenching my mind deceiving my senses
At best I half knowingly make it threw each day
My next step uncertain whether stair is present
Leaving my leg often stunted
My heart has floated out to sea and at times
I feel it emerge from such great depth
Back to haunt and drown me
I try to **** it and keep it without me
The cause of so much sleeplessness
Choosing not to feel the pain nor strain
Only to have it return with such vengeance
Leaving me breathless
I sat and watched the time for change grow massive

I see you
and the moments pass so quickly
I take hold as you slip away
Time is tricky
Forever in a day
A day can last forever
All that's left is to remember
I begin to play with the clock's levers
Out of control
Too bold
Too desperate
I just want you now
Now that it's passed
Why can't I grasp impermanence?
Denying the ticks of illusions
Explosive tears can't drain this longing
This sense of belonging
Take some more of my breath
Plus the hours I've spent pondering transitory periods
It's my curse and the curse of most women
Holding onto fairytales
From childhood dreams
Of princesses and thieves
My hearts been stolen from my sleeve
and hung out to bleed
Watch as the blood hits my paper
and savor your conquer
As I wonder aimlessly  
Aging painfully

The smell of lilac still lingers in my memories
Hundreds of fireflies dancing in the twilight
Easter hues took over the sky
Burning cedar lights up the night
Keeping the bugs at bay
I stare into the flame

Bongo beats vibrate
Summer's fragrance sending a quiver up my spine
Every sense stimulated
The peace held in those nights
is something that has stayed with me all this time
Treasured

Panic kept my heart and adrenaline pumping
I told myself to never look back but the temptation was overcoming
When the realization hit that I had come so far
and could no longer see the start
beads of sweat shaped my brow
A physical confession of complete and utter fear
A psycological obstacle that rang loudly in my ears

I gazed at the steps willing my eyes to see the end
Itching for hope or someway to transcend
But reguardless of the vigorous time spent climbing
Into the heavens the staircase kept winding

My mind begged to cave
Desperate for an escape
From limb to limb my muscles twitching,tired,and shaken
I couldnt help the tears from flowing incessantly
While I searched longingly for some kind of reason or deep meaning to drive me

I dropped religion along the way
I pushed through the treachery of tongues leading
I threw my backpack over the rail so my possessions
couldnt weigh on me
I fought the false antedotes
I stopped blaming others
I grew to great heights yet still I wound up seated and flustered

Uncertainty haunted me
Leaving my head in my hands
In a world of illusion the next step is always difficult to determine
I looked back up to my challenge
Questioning the means
and learned that with enough curiousity
anything can be achieved

Pupils like pins altered in transmission
A lump in the mind jumpstarts to life
It's only a matter of time before the malfunctions occur
For some tests and trials the result is cancer
Ask Moscow after fifteen years
Grasp your cellphone without an ounce of fear
Deny the facts right in front your face
or be a minority of one
Completely insane

Immobilized I gaze at the ceiling
Remembering the moments that led to this evening
I choke on the words I dare not say
Forced to deal with the pain that plagues me each day

Piercing each nerve
Giving way to exasperation
Resentment hangs heavy
and I feel suffocated  
Another day alone plotting my reparation
These fantasies could end my senses and reason

I wish I could inflict the same anguish upon him
Wounding his pride leaving him with nothing
If only he could feel helplessness and shame
To a degree in which he would never be the same
Only then could my hate begin to wane

Soundwaves Break
Vibrating through as
his heart swells
Building up sensations
an unignorable spell
Releasing an excitment
so divine he slides
out of his hiding
and begins to rise

I am running through the woods
away from the paths and into the brush
white ribbon unravels in the breeze threw the
branches and the trees
my white dress trails behind my
fleeing legs
my chest beats wildly
the suns rays escaping the canopy
kissing the floor
a bed of leaves and little creepy crawling things
Slow motion scene
calling like a crow
For the lost love I once knew
reaching grounds my feet dont know
foriegn the feeling of searching for you
I hear a loud beeping piercing the forest
and I stop dead and look to the sky
My eyes open breathless and shaken
and I turn on my pillow to see you sleeping
so sound and sweetly beside me
I swore just then in the early dawn
while shutting my alarm before disturbing you
That I'd never loose you again

Stationed by belief
As hungry carts push on
Destined to the checkout lines with a fist of great deals
Forgotten once cashed
Repackaged in plastic wrap where flesh was once sacred
Commercial clichés provoking the same old reflections and interests
In the midst of clones and lapse of reason
Controlled and reduced to produce more and more
but the score lacks anything to do with the salvation found in art form
As chained souls morn in the ashes of the wake
We must transcend and break the links
For these ties are the kind that bind minds
I stand alienated and tongue tied as my mind's eye
sets the grocery store into flames
For the dependence and poison it bakes
While trains of unclassy gluttonous tarts
bump carts programmed to jump start
Relinquishing will and spilling milk
I cried out a river of chill

The search for meaning leaves me uneasy
History is fabricated,rewritten,unauthentic
In the eye of the sky and it's timeless nature
We are stardust exploding into a void
Destroyed and insignificant
Like tiny working ants purely genius and intricate
but far too small to appreciate
On this grand scale I inhale deeply
to capture a moment to hold it
and with one reflex the moment is lost
Vanishing into thin air
Invisible even in it's birth
So what is the meaning?
Why can I capture the world in my spectacles?
What if I draw down the blinds or cure cancer?
So what I might add to the former and latter
I am simply a jungle gym
A step on a latter for children to climb on
It goes on and on until death dawns
Inevitably killing the human song

The seasons interchange
Replacing the next
Bringing forth new chapters
as I reap the past

I find myself reaching a new rebirth
Every year I die
Every year I am reborn
I take moments to look over
What this year has brought

I've noticed I'm more grateful
to be with the ones I love
and my faith is rekindled
by the fires of my soul

Time gives clairity
We lose we gain
and we learn too quickly
Things never remain the same

But I've found it with in me
to form and to shape
The very mold which is life
I've mastered destiny

It's a chase for what you'll never encase
More like hide it away in a box of guilty pleasure
Opened only to shutter at the twisted moralities of others
Yet still you get off to the warping sensation
Fears taken and bent into little pleasure pretzels
Her sickness feeds your addiction for ***** gore
No matter how far you stray you can't help but crave her flavor
It's your panic switch that she cradles
As the lines between whats wrong and right fades equal
With all her red flags soaring you have no other option but surrender
Caught up in her web you'd gladly be devoured

She sat bewilder and rejected by the world
her hair dreaded clothes torn and stained with time
remains torn
she gazed at me longing
seeking shelter from the storm
the rain poured upon her shoulders
a lost soldier among the scorn
I read into her character
as if the scene were a book
and I thought of all the jackals
who must've shook and took
she sat withered like a flower in the
midst of December
I could tell if left there she'd surely die from
the weather
I was this women and she was me
together we were locked
in mystery wondering
longing
An exchange of a smile
and she was on her knees
begging for a ride a conversation
some relief
my door ajar
welcoming
inviting her into a place of warmth and understanding
motherly I consoled
she was my sister daughter love
she was everyone I ever cared about
trapt in a cardboard box
with a shake of her hand I read her palm
her troubles and despair
I spared some change a ride and empathy
hoping it was enough for her
if I could only save her I'd change her
I'd  change the world but for now
I'll fufill my mission
and allow her soul to fufill hers

Dreamers are forever chasing
Forever asleep
Lost in pursuit
yet more awake than the average joe
sipping black coffee off to work
I am forever sprinting
breathless
and alert
Awaiting the day I wake to find
My reality reflecting  my reverie

I have become a slave to the pen
unraveling and consumed by my thoughts
I'm in constant search of a thought worth having
and indulging in
so sick of the junk food crammed in
My mind is swollen and bloated
fizzing and falling flat
So tired of all this loathing...
trying to find away to make the sun shine again
Faint whispers of my soul say I'm creating black holes again
The mind either a tool or a weapon of mass destruction

Tomorrow anew
Tonight no less than a shadow
of today's downfall or accomplishment
Yesterday is gone
a tear soaked in my pillow
Theres always hope on the horizon
May you wake to the sun
peaking through your curtains
Smile

Tiny hands and little feet
She's the very reason my heart beats
Gripping my finger oh so tight
Kept safe in my arms all through the night

Her eyes have yet so much to see
For now she's content just gazing at me
Her life is held within my hands
Before I know it she'll be able to stand

Each day she grows and shows her strength
But like her mama she lacks in length
Her voice is angelic
Her hair so long
She looks like her daddy but she's moody like mom

I never knew that I could love someone
To this extent and this strong
She is changing my perspective and
nurishing my soul
To give her what's best is now a lifetime goal

I may not have much and I may be flawed
But I would give and change everything
to be a great mom

Imagine utopia!
Your mind lit up like a christmas tree
unable to hide a single thing
at mercy to the powers that be

Come on were talking telepathy!
A fundamental algorithm indeed
they'll sell it, they'll push it, they'll force it?
guess we'll just have to wait and see

How exciting!
May be we'll be the ones
may be your kids or their kids
but one thing is quite clear

We are all Lab Rats running the wheel.

Eyes flickered like dancing flame
Our desires untamed
Unyielding
Enrapturing and bringing about weightlessness  
I long to escape to this timeless place only we create
So surreal and shapeless
This passion kills the faithlessness
Exhaling the dark matters
Willing a change in the seer and patterns
My soul cried out a plea
Never take this heaven away from me

I catch fleeting glimpses of light
in this estranged wasteland of fight and flight
The streets are winding in circles and I am mindful of the cracks
As I walk alone experiencing turbulence

Though I have a lot of endurance
and chase the dawn in pursuit to advance
I have grown weary in many ways
Those fleeting glimpses maybe illusions of gain

Faces morph and contort
taunting me as I pass
and I keep my gaze grounded
For the sky knows nothing of heaven

What is this place that I've been disgraced to?
I wonder how many see the world as I do
but there is no one to share my thoughts of despair
So I keep treading along fully aware

It's as if I've been shocked
My mind a live wire
I wonder how and why my dreams expired
For a cynic I never dreamt to be

But against my best
The darkness found me
and pierced my sight unwillingly
****** me of all tranquility

Who sold me this rotten seed?

The ashes of love linger on my forhead
of burned up discarded thoughts
like old letters in a fire pit
incinerating to dust
and I watch the fragile remains
drift off onto the block
with hungry little hearts
picking them up
I didnt smile at the hands
who dreamed of pretty doves
I smiled at the children running a muck
Someday they'll know how I have grown
Someday they will drownd their dreams in that little wishing well
and I will apologise and tell them of Santa Claus
How beliefs can be magical
but beliefs they just are
I remember howling with that pack of dogs
but now it's just me the pack ran off
When they ask me, whats the meaning then?
I'll brush them off
like the ashes on my forhead
like the running wild dogs
The truth is it varies for everyone
You have to find it within yourself

I climb to the edge of sacrifice
and I grasp the feeling within my hands
and pray that I am right
as I set the dove free
it was released forever from the likes of me
too beautiful of a thing to be caged
and as it flew I fell

You could tempt me to the crease of a cliff
and I'd follow your scent mindfulness dismissed
I see your danger
The neon signs
but like an animal I trail you
sure to meet a dismise
I let go and plunge
A slave to lust
while you have me at the end of a loaded gun
My eyes begging you to pull the trigger
and deliver me to the only true forgiver
You are see through plastic
a worm in my casket
whispering sweet nothings that fail to hold my fantasy
I just want your frensy
The exchange of lonesome cleansing
That leaves me bitter and nasty
The kind of love I live to hate
but when you can not have the real thing hate is the only cake
I swear sooner or later they'll burn me at the stake

You are the cool draft beneath the door
Flooding in freezing my feet
Stagnating me under a sea of blanket
to comfort my fears and cradle my inner child
I fell to you
Hiding my smiles and blushing vibrant shades of nothing
Searching your eyes for treasure and exaggerated tales
to make my life seem less stale
and you would put on your best impressions
to disguise how much you've been lessened
We spun in dizzy frenzies to distort the harsh realities
and banned the notion of death finding our immortality
We'd be young forever as long as we had eachother
We'd stunt our growth and mislead our minds into a great oblivion
Stay blind to the truth and laugh at misfortune
For children always stay on the breezy side of cares
But too soon our long summer day come to an end
and all the innocents was snatched from our hands

I hate the plays on my weaknesses
It's one thing to be manipulated and another to modify
Becoming mutated
Were we ever truly organic or have we been designed ?
Predestined to these predispositions since the dawn of time
No one wins these types of power plays
and I stray to isolation pondering for days
Can mind overcome these matters?
Because the experts don't seem to believe
we are capable of advancement
without these artificial enhancements
After all they have to practice
It's ****** hidden in plain sight
A quiet killer seizing and thieving life as we sleep
In broad daylight

Mighty the muscle of unmerciful momentum
Taking names, keeping pace, rhythmic with the arms of father time
Back to rehash an ancient scribe just moments away
You can taste it
The blood of the forsaken
Dying a thousands deaths
Ravished by the beast
Whilst storms blow in from the east
With messages of pale horses and unrelenting fate
Demanding blood to cleanse the land and to burn the stakes
Fear tantalizes
Exhilarates
All the kings men take their place
and prepare to battle the cycles history incessantly recreates

I look into your eyes
soulfully
my mind at times falters
to insecurity
I just knew that if someone
eles could see what I see
They'd try like hell
to steal heaven from me

I once had stars for eyes
a draw a pull inescapable
and you would drink from my river
and bath in my waters

At my lowest beneath the surface
I can be so sharp and jagged
and my easy floater couldnt hack it
his feet searching for shore

The current strong
as I pushed him along
A ride not soon forgotten
and mercifully I spit him out

But he'll still have to face my serpants

Moonshine on me crazy
Kick back and dive into my lunacy
Drink of my wine
and intoxicate
so the words are ever so
contagious
for another to drink
Spin with me and learn to keep
your eyes in place
Although the world is blinding
you'll see once your mind is tamed
Then stumble around with your heart on
your sleeve and watch as others hesitate
as you seem obscene
It's funny how when you speak the truth
Society turns away
I'm treated like the village drunk
my mind is blown away

Chasing you is like racing the speed of light
I am left in the darkness never able to keep up sprightly
Leaving me fighting for air while my lungs erupt painfully
Gasping for breath spewing the words enough is enough skeptically
Accepting the fact I can't capture your love
The pain pierces my back in the night with the realization
that things between us have come and gone
It all seems like vivid imagery of my own imaginary creation
Of everything I dreamed you to be hoping to fill the void left by my last devastation
I want to be held with a firm grip and devotion
I need a connection with a depth deeper than the ocean
A romance so hopeless it leaves others disgusted or in admiration
Was it all a dream built upon no foundation
or did you find yourself lost too in moments of infatuation?

The nights seem to last longer...
I watch the minutes crawl upon the ceiling
As I replay every word exchanged
From your tired lips unto my walls
Splatters of colorful paint decorate every brick placed
and you can almost trace the misunderstandings
If you examine the situation close enough
The fear comes from wanting
The pain is cradled in longing
and I wonder how I ended up falling
Pointless thoughts that keep my mind soaring
So far from reason's reach
and it's been too long this night
That day has breached

I rest my head on your chest
Feeling blessed
Mellow and at peace
Your arms reminding me
There was never a need to worry
Your heart beat lulling
A sound of pure beauty
If I could have stayed for the rest of my days
I surely would have
Enraptured in that moment so far from the world
and the burdens of should have

I wish I was referring to a movie
but in all reality an operation
we all see the dangers of automatic weaponry
It's in a painful Christmas story

Did anyone hear about our mission
to send illegal weapons down to mexico?
no?We placed tiny battery operated gps systems
inside every single gun
and down they went into the hands of drug lords
Right under their governments nose

However we forgot to tell them to change
their batteries
and we reclaimed these guns through fatalities
and explicit crime scenes

Obviously this mission was a failure
but in the end it was plain to see
who the true gunrunners are

So now I move on to our right to bare arms
and for those who want to get rid of them entirely
come and ponder this with me

Does anyone ever shoot up a navy base or
a texas bar full of cowboys strapping?
No they go for the places that lack
any kind of defenses
The problem in my eyes is this
NOT the Right to bare arms
but not enough guns in the right hands

Who am I?
I am the Skeptic type,
Surfacing placid as each side creates waves,
Pulling on heart strings for their own self ameliorate,
Heated controversy focusing on Health care, Religion,
and Hunger debates,
Inevitably resulting in ******* up charges for war to undertake.

Equality's repercussions leaving our freedoms at stake,
While inflating our Economy
only the rich take the cake,
Consistently keeping the poor at bay,
One resolution would be to properly educate.

Before you sell into the poison they produce to control and degenerate,
Look into the disputes staged to manipulate,  
Open your eyes and see we're being left with no other options but to obey,
For when they deny you your right to bear arms The Constitution goes up in a fury of flames,
As we sit back and watch as they replay the tape.

I am free yet I am caged,
Caressing the bars of black and white mind frames,
Constructed to destroy thought and leave the masses divided
in a collective state of confusion as their questions remain,
I no longer associate with my neighbors today.

Empathy is a far cry full of ache,
Frayed by the misconception that lives are part of a game,
Monopolies and greed breed nothing but hate,
As a silenced homeless Veteran plays his violin drowning in pain.

We're left searching for some kind of circumvent,
In a country that prides itself upon convenience,
Our golden gates are not always what they seem,
If born into poverty your chances can seem some what foreboding.

Think of the future aside from your own
and find hope in opportunities for the much needed change we all see and know,
With so many imperative predicaments there is plenty of room for growth,
Obstacles only providing the likelihood to overcome and to approach ,
For strength does not accumulate for those who are not familiar with struggle,
With all these unresolved culminations there is plenty to live and fight for despite your troubles.

What of love?
A longing tear
of a moment which passed
lacking understanding
and all the things left unsaid.....
leaving holes in my heart
The memory
left waiting for a hand that never reached
but pushed until my back was to the wall
accepting my stance which felt so small
and I turned to the world alone
rejecting any rejoice of that sweet little song
Apathy took hold of my soul
which I sold to the grind and to the smog
All that entered my vision were ferrel dogs
left howling for something they've never
truely know
blubbering at the realization unrequited love kills
left with a shrill of dizzy jaded mutters
of the man who cast his spell
and pulled me under
defining my days in past-tense
Faced every john with resistence
counted the bricks furious
because it was easier than feeling the exit
but I'll never forget the day he came
and changed all of it
...I refuse to feel foolish
because without love all light is extinguished
and without mistakes we are simply not human

My eyes glazed as we sat beneath the warm glow
of a street light
In the very spot we used to kiss each other goodnight
I listened to the water flowing beneath the bridge
and thought of the days when we were just kids
In that moment my heart caved in

I remembered my arms in the sleeves of your leather coat
When we were in it together is when I loved it the most
I could never be too close and wished on you from afar
Through my eyes you were the Northern Star

Those days had some kind of magic
An irresistible charm that still sways me on
As I waltz back into days that are now gone
but the tears have yet to stop
I fear what it could mean if my mask falls off

Distance has twisted my arm
I spend my time in the bar
Dodging advances
I miss the chances of seeing you
The glances you'd shoot at me from across the room
And that playful smile
That made life seem worth while
You gave me something to look forward to

I am envious of the way you laugh at your own decay
The way you don't keep time nor race
You grace each day without hesitation
Living within the moments straying away from the anxieties of anticipation
Keeping steady pace
Never overthinking the little things that cause such grief and dismay
There's such beauty in your way
You dream of the future without condemning yourself today
I long to learn from that mind frame
For it resembles perfection and transfers influential sway

Hair raising sensation
Invokes a beast that wishes to feast
and lusts for flesh
A dream where bodies mesh
and sweat
As heat rises and falls
Repetitiously
A gentle brush of lips
As hips dip
and limbs twitch
Overwhelmed by a pleasure haze
Minds drift and displace
Launched to a higher place
Where souls intertwine and reach like vine
To mountains of tremendous energy
Lovingly exploring the mystery
In an act to create and share life

On my wings I carry a message
I am the wind through your hair
lifting hares from their holes
Look folks it's magic!
Now come waltz with me in
this newly found court
The judgement is yours
"To be or not to be"
I have so many questions
Now that we've reveiled
The night's endeavors
Why do we allow History to repeat?
We the people who are sacrificed and silenced
Who out there has the eyes to see and
is also infected with a "knew" type of fever?
Cabin fever folks
How can we be content with the way
our earned cash is spent?
I say it's time to find the means and
make it end
Can you see rock bottom yet?
Let us breed rapidly our ideas
I bring this to you a silent prayer