Streaking across my window, reflecting light from dripping chill. My breath fogs my vision - I close my eyes - and feel so, still. The patter echoes along my edges as the grey gives way to blue. Caught up in your atmosphere - I bet you never knew.

Time - endlessly flowing - formless, fluid, and in the absence of context. The more I dip my fingers into passive meaning - the more my skin gives way - scars - loosens it's grip. She takes - then gives everything - as she ebbs then floods her possibilities - teasing - invoking. I lose the meanings - unlearn the rhymes - forget to remember - in a sea of melancholy, enchantment, longing - pain. I embrace her wholly and reject her simultaneously - she's just a concept - too surreal. Is anything that is thought or felt real?

For the love of the sun - I come undone - while blanketed in the softened light of the moon. I swoon and give way - engulfed by unquenchable flame - the cool ground beneath - consuming my core.

The call crashing at the edge of my mind - I continue on with closed eyes - and deeply kiss the blessing of a new day; feast or famine - this longing remains unchanged - imploring eternity - in a song of praise.

This inescapable anguish - is the price of love - and no matter how many times I surrender - the force keeps lifting me up.

A part of me was always silently hoping and wishing for loves return.
Before I learned - then unlearned - only to lessen once more.

I chased the vision you inspired until my feet bled.

I still can't tell if it was you or me - that I sought after ever so desperately. I just know your face helped me to see - everything I ever wanted to be.

Hearing the shaking palms reminds me of a steady rain - the smell of petrichor envelops my senses - as the tides come crashing through each wave of pain. I can taste the salt in the air - imprisoned by this eternal longing - left with a dare.

Tiny hands and little feet
She's the very reason my heart beats
Gripping my finger oh so tight
Kept safe in my arms all through the night

Her eyes have yet so much to see
For now she's content just gazing at me
Her life is held within my hands
Before I know it she'll be able to stand

Each day she grows and shows her strength
But like her mama she lacks in length
Her voice is angelic
Her hair so long
She looks like her daddy but she's moody like mom

I never knew that I could love someone
To this extent and this strong
She is changing my perspective and
nurishing my soul
To give her what's best is now a lifetime goal

I may not have much and I may be flawed
But I would give and change everything
to be a great mom

You are a thousand whispers carrying my thoughts
to places they have never achieved.
Inspiring good faith and sound strength,
I never thought I could feel this whole and serene.
It was always you since there has been a me,
you were meant to be in all of your wondrous glory,
and although your face I have yet to see I already know it's home.
If only you could see how much this love is changing me,
I have never been so sure.
You have given me purpose,
conviction,
and infinite love while we ponder the possibilities of your name.

Misconstrued and misguided,
the small minded blindsided,
by the devil who crept through the back door.
Ignored or mistaken for the things you adore,
the thrill that kills any trace of will.
A siren tricking the mind to hearing silence
at alarming stakes.
It all makes me shake with rage,
for it's hate that's been my saving grace,
because I know the results of stolen faith.

For a few minutes I fall into an infinite moment,
one in which I will relive timelessly and cherish until I am dormant.
Enchanted by the charm of bees and floral in the Florida Keys,
a day that will affect my dreams.
Beauty laps my mind with sun kisses and butterfly wings
while palms sway and sing in a gentle breeze,
I am home.
Floating in endless weightless movement,
never settling my soul.

I've never felt this vital before,
as my knees shake with each step into the unknown.
A place where I am forced to grow,
standing tall with an iron backbone,
and of all the seeds that I have sown
none are comparable to the magnificence that is
just beginning to show.

What does it take to wake and break your shallow ends
into great depths
Must I will the earth to quake or can you simply take suggestions
My reflection of your perception and lack of action leaves me guessing
As sweet nothings lose their charm and fade into a life lesson

You are soft tone beauty
The kind that leaves them wondering
While they strive for perfection you silently shake
your head knowingly
Grace finds worthy language in your embodiment
Heavy words of whispered pillow talk claim you're heaven sent
Within your eyes your light could guide them all to enlightenment
On the crease of your curvaceous lips lies a grinning secret
You are a haze of euphoria
A touch followed by pure Oxytocin
For a piece of your mind and heart they flock full of anticipation
by the hundreds

Contrary to what is believed
To double think
Undress your mind to it's vulnerability
Outside the realm of possibility
Where one can see
Tickled grey
with inconclusive concepts
Frayed practice
Impulse bandits
turning the axles
Mirror me neuron
Mirror me

I began wading through the snow
Along the way were barren trees, lost in life's afterglow
My thoughts slowed
I had no goal
No home
Not a soul to call my own
Nothing but a thirst for the unknown
and the breathless beauty of untouched roads

Our reception for suggestion has killed reason leaving us most vulnerable to deception
As the media promotes mass hysteria creating a platform for deliria
I sit in silent disbelief wondering about Nigeria
A bomb is more valuable than a life and no one cares unless it's their
own strife
I fear this war machine may never run out of fight

Dusk drains your color casting shadows on your face
and your lines seem deeper with a frown much steeper
As sweat swells and expels streaking worry whilst the situation gets bleaker
Like a rock in your sneaker a fret you cant shake
Another night shaped by the unrelenting shame
Enraged by the mishaps and the things that dictate from the past
That you just can't grasp nor seem to mask
The pain only grows and unfolds every time you are asked
As memories flash and leave you abashed
Debilitated yet you still thrash through sleepless nights
for the terrors are rehashed
Suddenly wrongs seem right
Your spite grows despite your mold
Good men break bold
and look for loop holes
At times even justice does not seem justified
and a monster is born behind tired tear filled eyes

Immobilized I gaze at the ceiling
Remembering the moments that led to this evening
I choke on the words I dare not say
Forced to deal with the pain that plagues me each day

Piercing each nerve
Giving way to exasperation
Resentment hangs heavy
and I feel suffocated  
Another day alone plotting my reparation
These fantasies could end my senses and reason

I wish I could inflict the same anguish upon him
Wounding his pride leaving him with nothing
If only he could feel helplessness and shame
To a degree in which he would never be the same
Only then could my hate begin to wane

In complete and utter disarray she woke in pain to greet the day
Shaken by the violent sound of a silence that was too profound
Night and day there were faint whispers of what couldn't change
as she lay bewildered
While vivid memories placed a shroud upon her tired sweaty brow
Suffocated by the ache she chased a shot with hopes to obliterate
It takes three to remember and five to forget
That unrelenting grief that plagued her head
She swore such strength
She swore she'd love to mend the wounds left by wicked hunters
But too soon her blood had left her pale
and as the warmth rushed in she let out a long exhale

When dreams become undone due to nightmares
and smiles are replaced by distant blank stares
leaving all that you hoped for at your feet
Shattered into tiny reminders of defeat
You seem to lose sight of what it all truly means
yet remember suddenly why you chose apathy
I look around and all I see are hardened hearts that fail to beat
these vicious cycles that **** humanity
Has everyone lost their sanity?

The wind blew in from the south
Rumor has it love will kiss thee on thy mouth
There were tulips blooming all around
It was a common park on extraordinary grounds
As the night fell on Du Midi
The moon was full shining brightly upon the city
The month was May and Spring was underway
His eyes were so intoxicating
I danced until my feet ran red
Wishing the night would never end
But soon noon swept in to carry me off
and while saying goodbye I felt it wasn't enough
For days my heart couldn't give it up
There's something about him I can't quite place
and I miss his hand upon my waist
So much so I couldn't bare his embrace
You can trace the devastation as I try to deny
Struggling not to react but failed to mask my demise
The weight of his kiss and beautiful lips expelled
I felt such gravity giving me this hell
But my mind can't reason with my heart and
what was meant to provide closure
only carved a deeper mark

Passion comes like a home invasion leaving the walls whispering incessantly tiny inquiries that lack any true evidence invoking perturbatious uncertainty.You find your self endlessly pondering wondering if they appreciated or found quality in those little things that make people fall in love hopelessly.It's tiresome leaving one slightly disturbed plagued with persisting questions that ultimately elude one from themselves bewildered.You're either full of regret or feeling too pretentious caught up in some false sense of reality at times leading to changes in ones propriety.That is why we are all referred to as the young and the restless desperately trying to find ourselves as we slowly unravel the true life lesson.We search for assurance through another's eyes in need of acceptance even if it's merely a compelling lie so quick to deny ourselves truth.You must feel it on your own or you will remain condoned full of disappointment in the wake of true or imagined rejections and mortification.No matter what people do or say you must look within and find love without love a bullet proof brace.

Chasing you is like racing the speed of light
I am left in the darkness never able to keep up sprightly
Leaving me fighting for air while my lungs erupt painfully
Gasping for breath spewing the words enough is enough skeptically
Accepting the fact I can't capture your love
The pain pierces my back in the night with the realization
that things between us have come and gone
It all seems like vivid imagery of my own imaginary creation
Of everything I dreamed you to be hoping to fill the void left by my last devastation
I want to be held with a firm grip and devotion
I need a connection with a depth deeper than the ocean
A romance so hopeless it leaves others disgusted or in admiration
Was it all a dream built upon no foundation
or did you find yourself lost too in moments of infatuation?

Swept off my feet by merely a broom
I sought romance
only to find a mess miscued
As I lay there in the dust of ruined dreams
I pondered all the little bunnies that went unseen

The waves of music flow
like smoke through the rays of sunlight
peaking in the shades
It twirls and curls like my hips as they sway
and all I can do is gaze upon the ceiling
Feeling bold although I have nothing to hold
nor to call my own
Reality slips and fades
in my heart I am a bird freed from it's cage
Flying high on a song of hope that plays
Repetitiously
to distract me from the dismay silence brings
inevitably
Sweet tones ring out in heavenly peace
Creating a beautiful outlet of release

When that little voice tells me to give in
I have given up
Succumbing to the weakness of my thoughts
With these odds
How could the ends ever meet
But still I find my eyes opening with a sunrise to greet
A new dawn
A new day
Another chance to compete
No matter how many times I face defeat

Who am I?
I am the Skeptic type,
Surfacing placid as each side creates waves,
Pulling on heart strings for their own self ameliorate,
Heated controversy focusing on Health care, Religion,
and Hunger debates,
Inevitably resulting in ******* up charges for war to undertake.

Equality's repercussions leaving our freedoms at stake,
While inflating our Economy
only the rich take the cake,
Consistently keeping the poor at bay,
One resolution would be to properly educate.

Before you sell into the poison they produce to control and degenerate,
Look into the disputes staged to manipulate,  
Open your eyes and see we're being left with no other options but to obey,
For when they deny you your right to bear arms The Constitution goes up in a fury of flames,
As we sit back and watch as they replay the tape.

I am free yet I am caged,
Caressing the bars of black and white mind frames,
Constructed to destroy thought and leave the masses divided
in a collective state of confusion as their questions remain,
I no longer associate with my neighbors today.

Empathy is a far cry full of ache,
Frayed by the misconception that lives are part of a game,
Monopolies and greed breed nothing but hate,
As a silenced homeless Veteran plays his violin drowning in pain.

We're left searching for some kind of circumvent,
In a country that prides itself upon convenience,
Our golden gates are not always what they seem,
If born into poverty your chances can seem some what foreboding.

Think of the future aside from your own
and find hope in opportunities for the much needed change we all see and know,
With so many imperative predicaments there is plenty of room for growth,
Obstacles only providing the likelihood to overcome and to approach ,
For strength does not accumulate for those who are not familiar with struggle,
With all these unresolved culminations there is plenty to live and fight for despite your troubles.

Just in
There is no Justice for us all
Men fall into a system
with fake weapons at the draw
The paper says more
than your alibis ever could
To put lives above the game
I wish you would
To me it all seems crooked
bending to the schemes
A bunch of false conclusions
based upon hypocrisy
Before you judge so harshly
and you burn him at the stake
I ask how many of your doings
were right and the jury unpaid

In a moment of complete and utter despair
The only thing able to cut through the thick air
Was a small dose of laughter
A giggle shared  
As inappropriate as it may have seemed
It was undoubtedly a necessity

The water lay placid
yet beneath the surface surreptitious dangers went unseen
The waders ignored the well known dangers threatening their feet
As they went deeper the creatures observed
The splashing only inviting the lurking predators
They had been told to take caution avoiding the exposure
Instead they leaped into the jaws of the ingenious monster
Leaving their families without relief nor closure
Creating a scene so treacherous it haunted the dreams of children
Their parents cried out in insurmountable pain
As the onlookers perceived them with unrelenting shame

In everyone's life
There comes a time
When we watch all the pieces shatter
The shards find their way into many feet
and the blood seems to signal a defeat

The scars remain but eventually the pain fades
The stains however are a constant reminder
Of the challenges faced
and the strife that has been conquered

The beauty is found
When the pieces are thrown out
and the mess that once troubled us
Is renounced and without

Through perseverance and unconditional love
There is no telling what we are capable of

The laundry covered every inch of the floor
Making it impossible to dance
I checked each pocket unable to find what I was looking for
How did this place turn into such a mess?

I dream of a face that I cant quite place
However I feel I've known it once in vivid detail
I exhale long sighs through out the night
Tossing and turning
Yearning for the love I thought I had found
Divided by uncertainty and a distance too profound
Touching my neck where your breath once fell
Swearing to catch faint drifts of your smell
Imprisoned by my perceptions and reveries
I've created this hell with falsified memories

At times we must lose it all to gain
The pain only fuels our pace
As we race reaching and breaching
the lines we must cross to roam freely
It's a slight that allows such brevity
Embracing necessity  
Death is the only inevitable destiny
Hold onto nothing
and you'll obtain everything
A moment is fleeting
Embrace the reality
If you lived each moment as if it were your last
Only then could you possibly grasp
The beauty of a breath

The sea was black and the sky ran red
The blues rang out in different hues
Of emptiness and revenge
If only his eyes could conquer this
However I know not of my other half
Nor how another's iris could decipher my soul's fire
A girl grows bitter
In seeking him
A woman changes her tones
Defeating her own demons

When the roof caves in
Threatening to give
He hovers above her worries

Her head cradled in his lap
He gently strokes the hair from her face

Helping her fight the tears
     Easing her fears

Whispering so softly
Words so sweet
Only meant for her ears

I wish I could paint it
I wish I could create it
I wish someone's eyes would meet mine
As I watch my roof cave in

The winter has found a way to freeze me over
But I wont falter and reach for your warmth
You are December
and I am the Earth
You  ****
As I struggle to maintain life
Your reign is ill
and Spring shall fight

I scrubbed away at their plates
I need new forks and knives
I tore up the white carpet
that was made to be stained
that once kept me occupied and distracted
The mess had me wasting my time
My arms reaching for more than this design
For now I've come to see
that this is not my destiny
I am far from a 50's house wife
No matter how much I was denied
By my own doing or theirs
I will rise and bare a new name
I aim to gain
I want to build
yet I fear I'll be killed by my own tools
If like me they recognize

When the night falls
I falter to the what ifs
and drift into our old familiar seas
Like in a dream
One in which I wish I wouldn't wake
and hope to shake for it's breaking me
I carry the weight of every embrace
Now left to waste in the empty space left in my heart
Where you've made your mark
Before our depart
Carving your name
With such a beautiful art
You are my star so far
I beg my mind to stop envisioning you
I implore it to but it wont
and I don't know how to deal with this dread
That lays beside me each night in bed

My eyes are in need of an emergency shower
For they have been contaminated
My mind is in need of a coffee filter
Lest I consume the grinds
and deter myself from the benefits of waking
The goal is elevation
I crave liberation

I hate the plays on my weaknesses
It's one thing to be manipulated and another to modify
Becoming mutated
Were we ever truly organic or have we been designed ?
Predestined to these predispositions since the dawn of time
No one wins these types of power plays
and I stray to isolation pondering for days
Can mind overcome these matters?
Because the experts don't seem to believe
we are capable of advancement
without these artificial enhancements
After all they have to practice
It's ****** hidden in plain sight
A quiet killer seizing and thieving life as we sleep
In broad daylight

I am not examining your flaws
Nor restraining you with obstruction of laws
But you seem to believe you've broken something
Becoming troubled and overcome

I hold no Gavel
Not even an ill thought
Time is forever changing
Our rights and our wrongs
You have not been sentenced
Nor are you judged

I only require patience
and a natural flow of occurrence
Stop fighting the current and let go
The sands may shift
but that's something we cant control

After Sunday you stink of hypocrisy
Please don't waste your breath preaching to me
To me it's one big joke
as you line up for the punch line
Wearing your see through clothes
and flaunting your plastered eyes
Keep funding your guilt
as I kick back and criticize
Pockets full of change
I wound not spare a dime

Like a girl
I clung to your sleeve  
Holding your hand as we crossed the street
and you spoon fed me during breakfast
( I have to confess how much I ******* hated that)
As I'd listen to your latest business accomplishments
In complete and utter indifference
But when it came to my turn to speak
You disregarded it serving me another bite to eat
Interrupting me
My words can't escape a mouthful of spoiled, slighted, belittled, moves
The truth of what you thought of me was defined
Clear as day and as black as night
It was once benign but now I'm infuriated and livid inside
I spat my chewed bits back on the table where we'd dine
And left without speaking a word
Do you think he paid it any mind?
If you do you are absurd
He didn't even hear me walk out the front door
I had prince charming waiting outside
I bid thee Farewell
And I'll pray for you

I have tried to give birth to a new and improved version of my vision
Exulting blips of exactitude and ambition
Flashes of pretension on a screen of pending dreams
Lacking mobility and projection
Inertia writhes

I'm mainly advertising trying to sell and intrigue
To those who have enough eloquence to persuade my predilection and schemes
Endorsing me providing lifelines and pure consciousness
Lacking the force of extorted themes and exulting worthiness
Cleansing my mind of the mocking bird's trash heap
Help me dissemble the falsified declarations and professions of fiends

I want to be pristine
I beg thee to teach and galvanize me
Endowing me with inexorable sight
Keeping me keen and full of bold might
I am willing to fight

Bring me to the surface of these turbulent seas
No need to mention my frailties and anxieties
All I ask is a breath from the surface of true realities

The urgency constrains my needs for rejuvenation and appreciations
For all those little beautiful things that once meant the world to me
Like pink carnations

Sleeplessness morphs into spells of insomnious hauntings
Stunting my contractions
It's completely and utterly exhausting
A labor deprived of true initiative and wanting
It may sound silly but everything is contradictory

It is these pains that leave me incomplete, ineffectual, and in paralyzing omission
Excluded and feeling great depths of oppression
Despairing and kept in solitary confinement
  
Suffering more than I'd like to profess
Distressing the matters that cave into my chest
An infiltration of insurmountable anguish
Abolished
Untouched by a shoulder or hand of accommodation
Is it selfish to push for this magnitude of isolation?

I crave cultivation
I want to grow into the Giant Sequoia
But the fires of self doubt leave my branches in ruins
Smoke signals sending sirens
A constant affliction
It's all my own doing

Contingency pleading for nourishment
Somehow knowing thee and ye could constitute for something of legends
Tell that to our reflections
Or maybe it's the fear of fire that terminates our pregnancy
Causing us to introvert instead of projecting
Withholding both you and I from mastery

The sun sets
Leaving whispers of the days events
The night brings freedom and enchantment
It is your time to dream and relinquish encumbrance
No longer hindered by obligations
May you rest
In a guilt free slumber and peaceful meditations
Meet the dawn in your boldest form
and take a moment to appreciate plus adore
The gift of another sunrise
Because everyone eventually dies

My lust is a trip like DMT
A kiss of death I'm Poison Ivy
I smell of garlic and horseradish
I'm yellow in color
But not threatening my dish

I'm a scarlet lover
The White Mouse you failed to capture
and being a women I was slighted in the matter
Exhaling H5N1 on my breath
No one yielded once I left them speechless
Chirping my songs possessing the charms of sirens

Beauty is illusive
Seduction is bait
*** is violent
Power is the cake

I enjoy Big Boys for the chances they take
Ego is the downfall of the great
ZZZ top gives you the steak
I can't resist the urge to devour savoring the taste
Let's play for sake of convulsive spasms
I could use a good power trip followed by an ******

She's beautiful
I look on with such envy
Remembering the days you held me
Full of self pity
Feeling empty
Wondering why I need a man to feel worthy
I spilt the milk and cried myself silly
Leaving the mess to remind me of my folly
Note to self : I'm sorry
As I wipe my own tears missing my stability
He never even loved me

Distance has twisted my arm
I spend my time in the bar
Dodging advances
I miss the chances of seeing you
The glances you'd shoot at me from across the room
And that playful smile
That made life seem worth while
You gave me something to look forward to

With such vigorous opposition
The only thing that is left is perdition
Will the soil ever produce quite the same
What a shame
War and peace carpooling in the fast lane
Justified through producing excuses and rage
A dissension the history books might explain
But those who carry the pain will wane
All empathy lost in the jagged print of a factual page
How many contradictions will we endorse before we realize
How many children will die before we sympathize