Driving me to madness
All is set to burn
I find myself playing with matches
Waiting my turn
Although at times it gets relentless
The passion is irresistible
I could claim that I hate it
but cant help but love the thrill

Never will he perish
For he'll remain with me
Tarnishing my soul in the wake of his memory
Tangled up in my memories
Constantly blaming me
Incisively

Trenchant is his face within my mind
So hard to disguise or hide my plight
Wishing it was but never will be past-tense
His presence lingers
Pulling at my resistance
So persistent

The knots wrap tightly to my wrist
Bound to the same grounds
The thoughts place this as they manifest
Repetitious history
Evoking inevitability

I wish the tears could cleanse and mend
The taste of blood is too metallic for my pallet
As I descend bitterness fades leaving disgrace
I am not to blame but I bare the shame
However I cant regret knowing his name

Through the bars I could make out your face
and I began pacing where I'd once lay
Chasing you endlessly in my dreams
No longer able to fall asleep
Out in the yard
I'd trail behind
As we walked the dirt paths carved out in time
and although I was trapped
I didn't mind
As long as I had you in my sight
I imagined us digging our way to freedom
The rain kissing our flesh like it does in film
I could envision us rejoicing and retreating together
Where we could forget the trails we've faced and weathered
It was a summer day in the midst of winter
It was hope found in hopelessness
We could entangle and enrapture eachother
Our tale a constellation told amongst other star gazers
We'd inspire them all to revolt
they'd sing our song while mapping everything out
You've made me believe our time here could be worth something
and a believer I was not

It was quite the fiasco based on figment
Finite and forged
Our affair kept me famished
Fabricated and farce
Merely a fantasy where I featured a feasible feather
So far from my flock
Forlorn on a foreign turf
Why me?I began to fathom
Flustered as I fought the formidable

He was a vandal
Vigorous and vindictive
I'd often venture to misapprehend his vacant vitality leaving me indifferent
I became lost in this vagabond
Now left voided and breaking under scrutiny
This vermin could be the death of me

The words caught on the tip of my tongue
Where they'd hang desperately
Never to see the light of day
but easily traced in fluttering eyes and sweaty palms
All those things I should have said crease my forehead
Time only carving them deeper

In an instant it dissipated
Dissolving into regulated patterns and cycles
of heart wrenching battles that always brings about the rain

My distain falls short for I am also at blame
In his name
His name...
I see something untamed
It is a beast of burden that ignites me into flames

Motivating and tempestuous
A storm to be famed
It knocked me for a loop
Guiding me on my path and waking me from my stoop

Hawk eyes with a diamond mind
He is a predator disguised
The lines become faded
I must be jaded
Is it love or hatred?

I feel galvanized and shook
Lost in his book
Each chapter leaves me breathless
Hanging on a word
That's blurred by my tears and fears

The kind of events and plots
that will remain with me for years

Eyes veiled and full of misconceptions
I've been tested in the wake of expectation
Mass produced humiliation
Induced to become reclusive and stricken
A great appreciator of silence
Resilient and resistant
as I ponder my own completion and reliance
I shy my eyes from the broadcast and bypass the heart
that only beats and tracks superficial consummation
With such a great fear of sedation and the props preserved for consumption
Contemplating my voice in constant wonder if I will be beaten for seething over
the strange structure that kills spirit
I digress and rest at ease convinced I am blessed for I can see