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Daniel Regan Feb 2012
And though our lives move on and our days continue to be filled with the life we had all once left behind, we still remember. And though we wake up each morning with a new crowed of people to share our breakfast with, we still remember. Etched into our minds like those three numbers we held so dear as a symbol of our freedom and identity. Those three numbers that separated you enough to show ones independence, but connected you with a community of people who forever would fill every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moments of your life. These three numbers, coupled with a key, representing a time of transition from parental curfews, sober nights, and childish antics to a life of frivolous and naked moments. Passing into a time where the only sober though one had was that approaching deadline and getting everyone home safe. A time where basketball games, endless games of cards, crazy dance parties, shower time, movie nights, redbird pizza runs, *** talks, burning frat houses, fights with floor 8, board games, and multiple YOUTUBE sensations took precedence over whatever was due the next day. And though our nights sometime met the light of day; we continued in our ways knowing each morning when we awoke the day was ours and would be filled with people who would make every moment spectacular. So with our new found life consuming us we ignored the grains as they fell towards a time when the life we had come to know and love would be thrown into a whirlwind of tears, hugs and goodbyes. But that day has come and gone; and though promises were made and dates set, we still can’t help to remember those three numbers and those people who made them more then just a room number. And though those days are gone and we consider our selves grown, we can’t help but cling to childish moments where friendships were forged and long lasting bonds made by a simple acceptance button found on our social portals. A bond that we now hold to for dear life as a means to keep one another connected. Connected to those people who became our life line in times of good and bad; those same people who we shared the good and bad moments with and knew we could turn to no matter what. Those same people whose lives we would put in front of ours and bend over backwards for no matter the cost or how empty our wallets may seem. And even when we found our selves counting quarters and estimating how many loads we could run, we always knew we could count on the person across the hall or right next door to fill that half hour until our whites were done. We laughed, and we cried, we made nick names for each other and threw up in each others arms. We watch each other run around naked, made never ending “that’s what she said jokes,” and maybe kissed a few people we never thought we could. And though nights got out of hand and feels hurt here or there, regret is something none of us feel. For regret is an emotion that holds no place between people whose moments with one another were made priceless because of how embarrassing or stupid we acted. Stupid, embarrassing moments that we have come to cherish and hold close to our hearts in the hopes to keep those people we refer to as our kin with us when distance challenges our very bonds. Moments that cannot be duplicated, remade, imitated, or passed off as a normal Saturday afternoon; but rather remembered and someday share with our kids and grandkids as they move in for their first year of college. And when our kids and grandkids are overcome with emotion and come to us for advice about conquering the college scene, we can say from the depths of our hearts that the people they meet in college will forever change their life and make them a better person. Those same people whom I could never replace, and can’t wait to embrace as brother and sister when the next semester of ISU rolls around. :)
Daniel Regan Apr 2014
aaabbbcccdddeeevery word, thought, feeling made simple by those and that which create it fffggghhhow am I suppose to find the bigger picture in this world of I SPY, CSI, and magnified screens, text, and images iiijjjkkklllet me suppose we do it without conscious regard for the bigger picture, but I cannot believe that when we scrutinize each other to the point of minimizing each other’s soul, purpose, and individuality mmmnnnooopppqqquite the notion when you examine the world around us and its ever outward expansion by mans technology, freethinking mind, and unquenchable reach rrrssstttuuuvvvery ironic as I focus on the letters that give me inspiration yet cling to the words that give voice to my every fleeting thought wwwxxxyyyzzzero chance that my message finds a bigger paper, forum, or world for the letters that make them up do not scream loud enough for the worlds magnifying glass to hear zzzyyyxxxwwwith ever black to white click of thought it becomes analyzed by the grammatically correct, socially adept, and economically sept vvvuuutttsssrrreveling itself in form, purpose, and motivation as my numbers climb with the amount of eyes that these words find qqqpppooonnnmmmy own ego lost in a numbers game and battle of the words, played against my own self doubt and an ever changing world lllkkkjjjiiilluminated by an audience whose thoughts are much like my own, who play under the same lights and are surrounded by the same dome hhhgggffforever screaming in black and white as the world spins in color, reveled in pictures but structured in letters and numbers eeedddcccbbbaaalone we must all feel as we stare at the big picture and the underlining letters, while our life moves beyond the sight of our glass
Daniel Regan Feb 2014
I am so miserably unhappy and i just want to be heard. I want more then your sympathy and a compassionate word. I want more then a sorry and a moment of your time. I want more then 'you'll be ok' and a few words that rhyme. I want more then a kiss in a sentimental place. Found just on my forehead, on the edge of my face. I want more then the struggle and to turn it all around. And I want more then your perspective on positivity and where its all found. Or when, or by whom, or how it comes to be. I've had enough of your words of wisdom and ideology. I want more then a quick fix from liquid memory loss. And I want more then a women's sheets who need a good toss. I need more then a hand and a shoulder to cry on. I need more then a day off and the coming of a new dawn. I need more then a far run or a weight to be lifted. I need more then a career change or my life to be shifted. I need more then you and I need more then me. I need more then I hold and more then I see. I need need more then i know so I can understand. Whether the life that I lead is one that I truly command.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
And until the day I find true love, I'll keep searching in the sky above. Longing for a shooting star, in hopes it's luck not be too far. For a simple wish is all I seek, on ****** knee so humble and meek. With hands clasped and heart open wide, the truth I hold released from inside. That love is what I yearn for each day, when night comes and sleep takes me away. For your gentle touch I dream of each night, and tender lips of angles flight. So soft and sweet none can compare, even your smile considered so rare. Oh how I wish love would make a passing glance, to send my heart pounding in dance. To the beat of wings as the angles take flight, your image a goddess dresses in gold and white. And as I watch you fly away, courage brings fourth few words to say. I love you with all of my heart, as your image from my mind it darts. Like a fleeing flock of angry birds, with the sweet taste still lingering of those soulful words. And as I wake with you in mind, dreams repaying as I press rewind. In the hopes to see you for one second more, my heart in pieces feeling so sore. For the few moments of bliss that we shared, was ripped from me without a second spared. Alone I feel once again, my only memories found with paper and pen. Words thrown into rhyme to make you see, how precious love really is to me. And as I fall asleep tonight, I hope she reads this with all my might. So when morning light is finally here, I pull her loving body forever near.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Babe i miss you. Like the night misses the day, like a swing misses its sway, like a flower needs the suns rays. I miss you babe, and I'm not afraid to say, that my head is finally straight. And I'm sorry i made you wait, but i know its only fate, that we be together once more. And i know we're both sore, from the games we both have played. But Im done trying to ignore what is now behind closed doors. But Im finally awake, and I've taken too much time, and i think its time we find, that fire that was once mine and yours, yours and thees, we need not be, apart for you see, me and you, you and me, we are simply meant to be. Free to be, you and me, together and once again we. Can't you see? Im putting it all on my sleeves. No smoke, no mirrors. Just me being real, telling you how i feel. Hoping that you'll take me back. Back into your life, back into your arms, back into your trust. Im trying not to rush, but enough is enough. Im tired of staying hushed. I just want to scream, scream until my lungs bust...!!!!I MISS YOU!!!!...but i know its not enough. Because I've been to rough with your heart, and your heard may be too tough for all my words to penetrate. And i know Im saying this late, but Im going to say this...I miss your simply bliss, and I wish with all my heart, that you hear my plea and find your way, find your way back to me. I Miss you Babe.
Daniel Regan Sep 2013
I have to don the face of madness when I encounter your shadow. Held back only when that shadow pulls a 180. And though I cannot hold the hand of this shadow and spin madly on with it. I grasp unwillingly to the hand that catches my grip. Catches my palm, catches my five reasons for holding on. Because your shadow is the only shade of you I can seem to handle. The one I wait on to signal the coming of a new day. The only one I hold my breath for because it holds no breath at all. But rather the idea of catching up to someone whom I wish to see vanish. No, I hold no distain towards you and no pleasure in seeing the shadowy curves of you saunter off into the sun. No I do not hold regret in the distance found between your shadow and I, because that distance cant seem to multiply fast enough for my liking. And though the closer and closer you get to that sun represents sunshine entering my life again, it will never be enough. Because even when you walk head first into that sun I know your every molecule is still floating in this endless universe of ours. I will never be without your presence, I will never be without your shadow, I will never be without you haunting my every thought. For no matter the alcohol consumed, cannabis smoked, and concussions sustained I will never be able to put a scratch on the lyrical nightmare that was our song. That was our time together, and though I try and play DJ and put a positive spin on our song…Im reminded that it once was played. So I look for your shadow every night and every day. Not for torment sake but for the little sanity that remains to show me that the monster that was once my love can be slain again, and again, and again. And though it keeps returning I remind myself the difference between your darkness and my light is exactly 180 degrees.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Old memories preserved in black and white.
Reminisce of a time less contrite.
Seen through the lens of those without strife.
Young and free with a passion for life.
Replaced by wisdom, fear and guilt.
For the life one has methodically built.
With walls and doors, and windows to see.
As the world passes by this absentee.
Surrounded by frames of the finest wood.
Of snapshots of the potential that someday could.
Climb the mountains unreached by the hands of our time.
Instead stuck walking for fear of the climb.
For fear of the fall and all it might bring.
Fear of the inability to rebuild his wings.
Compliant with gravity, compliant with normality.
Unfamiliar with the rebellion that once filled his soul.
Defining his life where their now is a hole.
Replaced by a scar and filled with his tears.
As the joys of his childhood continue to disappear.
Chased away by the light of reality.
Youthful dreams replaced in actuality.
Ambitions refocused towards sensuality.
Mind made up of generalities.
Soul defined in spirituality.
As his life moves slowly into irrationality.
And though the colors here are always bright.
They are most vulnerable in the absent of light.
Replaced by the darkness and a mind numbing truth.
One we all have forgotten from our youth.
That the potential of life knows no bounds.
And that which we can create will always astound.
Those who come after us and those who continue to follow.
Will continue to fill our world as if it was hollow.
In need of filling with that which they create.
Building from our ashes on a brand new slate.
Their artistry challenged only by those.
Who have left footprints in the sand with their bare toes.
So which life do you wish to live.
One of solitude or one where you continue to give.
Give your time, give your energy, give your heart and your soul.
To the child in you whom you continue to out grow.
Continue to neglect who’s dreams have yet to be filled.
By the world you once dreamed of with those Legos you use to build.
Dreams filled with sky scrapers all in black and white.
Only to be interrupted by mornings first light.
Life’s colors seeping in as they begin to fill your days.
Your youthful ambitions still here in many ways.
Still clinging to you through those memories of yesteryear.
Captured in your childish smile radiating so clear.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Put a gun to my head, go ahead and pull the trigger. Lifes to short to focus on forever. I find myself questioning everything in my core. Only to be brought back to earth, regret pressent ever more. Following ever little shadows down every single corridor. Avoiding those ghosts, like a movie full of horror. Their faces ever present, in my book filled with lives. Defining themselves by a bunch of silly headlines. Where has my character been and gone, to have made me become this cold. Funny how a few pictures can begin to make you unfold. So you play cat and mouse, with those who got away. Filling your half empty cup with those you met today. Lighting a match in places where ash has begun to pile. Throwing sticks at your past and waiting patiently for awhile. But the past has done just that; left you in its wake. So you drop your board; this is as far as the ride will take. Looking at your watch and wondering where the time has gone. Only realizing your watch is in the entirely wrong time zone. And now your jusy behind on the wishes of today. To busy focusing on the memories that have left and gone away. So you take the next step to getting over this ****. And you write a few words and throw them in a lump. Making sentence begin to ryhme and words begin to sway. Giving credit to the rappers who have paved your lyrical way. And your mind begins to run with voices of today, only hearing the next line and what it is you want to say. So you bleed for your words and make then all come to life. Every cut you have for them, is a lifetime full of strife. So you take a single memory and hold it to the light. And your rip it in half and hold back your feelings with all your might. For your words are all you have in this never ending game. Of photo albums and picture frames, lost numbers and days filled with shame. Shame for those you  meant to call, and still wish it to this day. But understand that god has come and had the final say. So you look at those you've lost, and those you can still save. And wonder if those memories should be left in their own grave. And fight back the feeling of betrayal and hate. And remind yourself each day that it will never be too late. To you show those whom you have lost that there is still something there. And you honor those who are gone, with love and an evening prayer.... Life is to short to focus on forever. But never is life to short, to write out something clever. To stir the emotion of human intent, and show those who matter you are done being silent.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
If nice guys finish last, then call me an *******. Im done being the nice guy, im done playing that role. Because society doesnt care if you can save the human race. All they seem to care about is stuffing their own face. With fast food, and expensive gifts, with cool gadgets and lavish trips. This world is selfish and does not care for you, so you might as well loose the nice guy attitude. Your friends may say they like your nice guy ways. But lets be honest, love and affection cant get you recognition and fame. Life is cold, life is bleak. Like having no paddles going up a muddy creak. Love is blind, so you will never find, that special someone, that someone to call mine. So why be nice, when no one cares. Why be nice, when life isnt fair. Why be nice, when no one sees you. Why be nice, when no one cares what you do. So call me and *******, call me a ****, call me a huge, monsterous *****. But dont call me the nice guy, you'll only make me sick. So here's some advice, if you want to get ahead in life. Forget about fairytale endings, forget about the lavish white weddings, forget about being nice and allways doing right. Cuz life ***** and blows, like a five dollar *****. So get use to those sores, cuz thats what lifes for. ******* you from behind, when you've been nothing but kind. Giving someone your heart, and getting nothing from start. Working your *** off for that spot, only to loose what you got. So **** it all, and **** my life. Get use to these phrases and get use your strifes. And get use to never being right. Cuz when life kicks in, you've already lost the fight!
Daniel Regan Mar 2012
I am looking for a purpose behind all the things I do, maybe not a definite answer but possible a clue. To the direction I am heading and where fate may lay me rest. Is this constant confusion punishment or some kind of playful test. Am I merely a worn out puppet trying desperately to put on a show, for the entire world to see as my movements’ ebb and flow. With the intentions of my creator who smiles down at me, or chuckles at the torment that no one cares to see. Or is choice the only master that my world has yet to know, between divine books and holy scriptures it seems to be a no-show. Silently sitting in wait as the world screams madly on, crying softly to itself at human intelligence forgone. For as we take up arms in the name of what we think is right, we wildly swing our blades as we’re blinded by the light. And we forget the choices that sit there right before our eyes, and then we claim selfless ignorance as our actions cause us surprise. Blaming it on divinity as we fall helplessly to our knees, a deaf ear is where you’ll find all our hollow, empty pleas. So as the blade is forged in fire so too is justice born, and we must answer for our actions and the allegiances we have sworn. And know thy wrath is what they scream in the name of what they think, and the answer to my questions are then found in a momentary blink. As once blinded eyes go dark to the uncertain world around, true understanding of our purpose may finally be found.
Daniel Regan Mar 2014
Oh your face it does haunt me like all cliché lines do. Circling in my thought process as they find paper in reluctance but utter truth.  Destine as is the rain drop is fated to find the earth. And although its home is made for a short while, its energy is forever lost to the world around. Oh how I wish to be that rain drop. To carry weight and energy into everything I touch though my boundaries remain limitless. Unaware if I am to turn into a soaked sweater, a splash on a running shoe, a man’s’ blinding annoyance, or just another drop in the ocean. And though my clichés may never change the weather, I am praying that you and I might end up together. Hoping that my energy remains limitless and finds sought after boundary in your presence. Hoping to be a damp spot on your sweater is my comforting relief from the separation of the swirly storm I’m in and your forever distant shore. But I am a lowly drop and you sweater holds no warmth for me as our once connected past becomes nothing more than flooding memories now. Passing by as did the running shoe in puddled ground. Flung from disapproving eye and forever to remain amongst the waves of the unforgiving ocean. Prayer holds no weight here. Hope as important as the sand we all overlook and pass by without second glance. And though my present tides throw salt in past wounds, I look to the horizon in search of your coast. I look to the sky for my dove holding an olive branch and the sun to elevate me from my watery prison. With the belief that as I move closer to heaven, I move closer to you.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
I wake up every morning, wishing you were here. But every time I'm with you, you always feel too near. I love the funny jokes we have, between the two of us. But every time i hear your laugh, my head is going to bust. I love it when you dress up, and look so beautiful for me. But when i see you in the morning, i tend to let you be. I find myself at war, with everything you do. Im always contradicting myself, whenever I'm with you. Your voice is so annoying, whenever you start to sing. But i love it when you scream my name, i love to hear it ring. I love everything about you, from your head down to your toes. I love looking in your eyes, and i love your little nose. But i can't stand your smile, or the way you do your hair. Or whatever you call your style, they're things i just can't bare. I hate the way your parents are, and i think your church is wack. Your family is always so cold, there is many things they lack. I love that you're religious, and how you speak your mind. Unfortunately you tend to be drowned out, by whatever is on mine. I wish i didn't feel this way, and loved you through and through. But there's little things that **** me off, and there's nothing i can do. I wish that i could love you, with everything i am. But we've hurt each other in the past, and I'm not sure that i can. But there's something about you, and something in my soul. That keeps you always on my mind, and so i can't let you go. So I'll go to bed tonight, and have sweet dreams of you. And I'll wake up in the morning, wishing they were true.
Daniel Regan Mar 2014
Stand firm young explorer, our reality is before your eyes. The path of least resistance comes and goes with the reading of the signs. Do not reach beyond their grasp dear astronaut, for you can only hold what you must. And your disinclined stance may start to sway, towards a book of spiritual trust. A compass of lost translation, which has been tattered by the evolution of our time. Sown together by imperfect hands and tongues, of the righteously divine.  Or instead you stumble towards numbered texts and the collection of mans thoughts. Classified, organized, and defined in complex logical knots. A thorn bush of intricate perceptions of our multifaceted human condition, subjected to nothing more than our screaming birth and our timely decomposition. But fear not my naive trekker, for the decision is yours to hold. Either with nail in hand or the hammer made ready, may your heart be ever so bold. And though the philosophical plates of these worlds seem to diverge from once connected fates, the heavens you come to find as a result may be behind different gates. Only you hold the key to open your ever changing mind, one carved by humble carpenter hand or molded by mankind. So step lively youthful sailor for the winds are at your back, and the house from which you build your truth comes of brick or with cross-bared plaque. Worry not of your inaction little voyager, for the world will not react. The world remains in constant motion, and will force you to interact. Whether several days of creation must pass or a bang of creative juice, it is you who must chose to dive in the water or walk above man’s made truth. So good luck my inexperienced hiker as the waves of decision roll in. May the solace you find in the choices you make be without regrettable sin. I pray the stars you look to at night point you toward your goal, and that you find a balanced understanding of the earth and your spiritual soul.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
As my life moves on im becoming colder,
Feelings escape me as i get older,
Logic prevails no matter the case,
Emotion finding itself out of place,
Love meaningless,
Sadness meaningless,
Colors meaningless,
happiness meaningless,
Im feeling less,
Less human,
Less connected,
More robotic,
More calculated,
Turned away by those around,
Emotions keeping them off the ground,
Bound by thier irrational sense of worth,
Forgetting of their own timeless birth,
Forgetful of the blood that courses through their veins,
Human being is all of our name,
Pulled to the clouds by a need undefined,
So called hole in our hearts no one can find,
But i am a spectator walking through the zoo,
Watching the monkeys as they throw their poo,
Not aware of how silly they all continue to look,
Knowledge, logic, and thinking not defined in their book,
But ill read your chapters,
And skim your book,
I get the idea,
I understand the hook,
But thats all it will be,
Forever and evermore,
Becasue sooner or later,
Your words will become folklore.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
It's hard to watch your world sink, right before your eyes. To watch everything you worked for vanish, like the sun from the evening sky. It's hard to watch your dream fall through, and keep yourself together. It's hard to get through the rain, when you can't see past the weather. It hurts to feel your world unravel, like a ball of yarn or string. It's hard to humm the right tune, when you've forgotten how to sing. You swim against the current, and pray to god that you will survive. Only to find yourself question your motives, and why you prayed to be alive. You walk in circles everyday, following the path you did before. Working towards a better life, but what is it all for? To strive and fail, to stand and fall. To fight the wind and stand up tall. To find yourself on the grond once more. Your height only measuring how far you've soared. Straight to the ground, where you've been many times before. Holding your head, but only your pride is sore. So you ignore the pain, with all your might. Your put on a smile, and get back in the fight. The fight for your sanity, the fight to keep you sain. The fight to keep depression out of your veins. The fight for your happiness, the fight to fall in love. The fight that keeps you hopefully, no matter where you're shoved. Because at the end of the day, or the end of your life. When your heart cannot carry on, or hand the strife. You'll look up to god and say with your last fighting breath. I know happiness, I know love, and now I know death. Because the fight is over, and your out of the game. No score board to show you who's the winner in lifes punishing game. Because the end prize isn't money, cars, or fame. But whether you enjoyed life and danced in the rain. Whether you laughed with friends, and love with all your heart. Whether you've showed compassion, and weren't afraid to let out a little ****. Whether you took chances, and had a few to drink. Whether you've partied to the break of dawn, even if you woke up next to the sink. Because when it comes down to it, we're all scared inside. But it's how we control our fear that makes us invincible, even when our whole world has crumbled around or feet and died.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
And as the days go on we hold up our heads, for the person we loved and the life that they led. For the memories that were forged in the good times and the bad, for those moments of pure joy and for the few that were sad. And though we may weep for the life that once was, we celebrate their life with our tears and a pause. As we look to a person who brightened our gloomy days, and hope that their character is one we can portray. Not only in practice but in mind body and soul, as we put back the pieces that once made us whole. And though our lives goes on we will never forget, this incredible person whom we are forever in their debt. For showing us the world in a whole new light, for giving us the courage to do what is right. For inspiring us with passion to live out our dreams, and showing us reality isn’t always what it seams. They gave us so much and all we have to give, is their memory to honor in the lives that we live. By loving without fear and giving without end, by offering a hand even if not a friend. So with saddened hearts and tear filled eyes, we say in our prayers a lasting goodbye. And look to the sky and laugh at our fate, which will one day land us at the pearly white gate. To greet and embrace with those who are gone, with the ones we love that are never foregone.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Its as simple as a smile, or a passing glance. Its as simple as a goofy laugh, that makes you take that chance. Its as simple as a phone call, in the middle of the night. Even if you dont remember what you said, by the break of mornings light. Its as simple as a car ride, that seems to go no where. These simple little things tell you, that you've found someone rare. Someone who is perfect, in there own sort of way. Someone who can make you smile, no matter how bad your day. Someone who makes you nervous, every time they call, but someone you feel comfortable with, even when you fall. Its this person in your life, that gets you up each day. Its the same person that gives you butterflies, no matter what they say. Its this person that makes you leave flowers, when they are at work. The same person you write silly letter too, and hope you get at least a smirk. She's the one that makes you realize, how good life can really be. And you quietly hope to yourself, thats how she feels about me.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
May the road rise to meet you, wherever you may go. As a new life begins to unfold, down a path you may not know. Carry with you your loving memories, of childhood ambitions. And never forget those joys you felt as you begin a new transition. Into a world of uncertain freedoms; filled with laughter, anger and tears. The same world of unbridled laughter, that may bring out your darkest fears. But worry not of the bad things, for the good will overcome. In this new life you’ll make for yourself, one very far from hum-drum. A life filled with new people, filled with new memories and new friends. Those you will love forever, and hold onto till bitter end. But forget not those whom you left behind, in the dust of new beginnings. For a life of higher education, and some more competitive swimming. For these people you leave momentarily, are more then just your kin. They are your backbone when times are hard, and your cheering squad for when you win. They are your break from all the studying when finals have you down. They are your source of inspiration, when life’s bright colors have turned to brown. You will have your good days, and you will have your bad. You will be happy one minute, and the next you’re sad. You will have your days alone, and your days you wish you were. You’ll have your sober nights, and those of too much liquor. And the next day, when your head’s about to explode. You will have learned a valuable lesson, and continue down life’s winding road. A road with mountainous hills and twisting turns. You may fall down a bit, but that’s no call for concern. Because you’re the type of person who will never say ‘when’. You’ll get up time after time, again and again. With your determination setting you apart, only to bring others together with your companionate heart. The world is your ouster, as cliché as it sounds. You could even leap tall buildings in a single bound. With the talents you have, and your loving heart. The possibilities are endless, I wouldn’t know where to start. So I wish you good luck, in all your endeavors. And hope you find love, whenever and wherever. But remember just this as you walk through the halls, of Illinois State University this coming fall. Life is a challenge, but can be fun too. Remember your friends and family; and there’s nothing you can’t do.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Im not who you thought i am, im not who you think, even though i look the same, evertime you blink. My name is the same, but ive changed once more, become who you want me to be, but different to the core. You may look twice, and see the same guy, but im truely not the same, what you see is a lie. Im not the person, who you thought you met. im someone completely differnent, and its something i regret. I wish that i could show you, who i truely am, but the really me isnt pretty, and isnt worth a dam. My true colors always fade, compared to yours that shine, and i feel myself not worthy, with every passing line. I dont deserve to have you, now or at any time, im sick to my stomach, as i continue with these rhymes. Becasue i know ill never tell you, and ill never let you in, ill keep my real self locked up, hiding behind a fake grin. Ill keep up this grin, and keep up my lie, ill pretend to be perfect, untill the day that i die. So what do i do, and how can i be free. I cant be honest with you, i cant show you the real me. The real me would loose you, and thats hard for me to bare. But keeping you is selfish, especially when you're unaware. Unaware of the truth, and unaware of the true me. Unaware of my true colors, the ones you will never see. So do i pretend to be perfect, or do i give myself up today? Do i risk making you hate me, and having you go away? This is eating away at my soul, and will be keeping me up all night. As i battle with my deamons, and contumplate what is wrong and right.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Its hard to find the right words to say. When your head is a mess, and you're always this way. When you're torn for the present, and ripped by the past. When your days are nights, and your nights never last as long as you hope, and as long as you need. When you feel like a failure, and can never succeed. Indeed you are stuck, and down on your luck. But don't be reluctant to try and find your way. Look to the future, look to a new day. Look towards the light, adn just start walking. Its time to stand up, and to quite all that sulking. Take one step at a time, and just keep going straight. Dont wait for the world to catch you in stride. Keep it in your mind, that you're one of a kind. So here it is, the big FINALY. The part where i give you wisdom, and act all happy. But the truth of the matter, is its going to be tough. Its going to be rough, and every step that you take, wont feel like enough. So **** it all up, and get ready to fight. Keep your goals in site, and use all of your might. Cuz the road is quite dangeous, and will kick you in the ***. You might even question yourself, are you up for the task? So take one, long deep breath. Take two if you need. **** out all your fears, and focus on success. And pray to god, your situation doesn't regress.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
How dare you! Call me 'friend' with no intent of a relation.
How dare you! Ask for generosity without any hesitation.
How dare you! Ask more of a me then ive asked of you.
How dare you! Think of me as part of your 'old crew.'
How dare you! Come to me, as if there is nothing to forgive.
How dare you! Pretend there is nothing I havent relived.
How dare you! Shut out the world, and those who really care.
How dare you! Only show your face for those in despair.
How dare you! Talk to me without a passing glance.
How dare you! Then go back to your 'avoid me dance.'
How dare you! Not speak a word to me, and hide behind your wall.
How dare you! Even ask me at all.....
Daniel Regan Mar 2013
I have read my last cliché line, and spoke my last ambiguous truth.  I’ve found the lack of principle in mankind, comes in both old age and in youth. One born from lack of days, passing beyond so few a night. The other hardened from too many wrongs, being passed along as ubiquitous rights. Truth finding no firm a ground, to grow without contempt. From those whole look to yield its might, and twist it with malicious intent. Those footed in ill-fated hypocrisy, both by practice and in speech. Principle scorn from lips once pure, forged by what life’s path can teach. And though the values of an honorable man preside, at the conclusion of every poetic line. The truth that’s found between each word, can make a man think he is divine. Spoken with word as sweat as red wine, he believes the world drink with thirst. Or so thinks the man who speaks frivolously, without hearing his own words first. So he drinks in his own narcissism, as his words ring forever true. In his nostalgic mind that never changes, or lets in sound anew. And that once juvenile and prospective boy, whose suns were few to shine. Has become a toughened old man, whose life has yet to be defined. By a principle worth shouting, to the heavens and beyond. Beyond his many nights and far more days, who hold to him a bond. Of servitude to his truth, regardless of its legitimacy. That which forges what will be his legacy, for everyone to see.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Remember, remember the 11th of September
Terrorism, mayhem and plot.
I see no reason why terror like this
Should ever be forgot.

Bin Laeden, Bin Laeden, 'twas his intent
To ******* America with an explosive event
Four fueled airplanes, oh how they soar
Poor old America dragged into war
By Marines providence justice was found
With women in hand dutifully bound
Silence my brothers, silence my sisters
God save them all!
In their memory we pray!
In rememebrance on this sad day!

A penny for your thoughts ol' America
on a day that chokes us all
nothing to rinse away the pain
on a day that scorched us all
forever burning is this day
Burning in our hearts always
Burning for those who have bled
and burning for those who are dead.
Silence on this tragic day!
Silence in their names we pray!
Daniel Regan Jan 2013
We pick and we choose in a fit of immature hope,
Though the effects of our choices are beyond our very scope.
Driven by the soul and its insatiable need,
To fill itself full for that which we bleed.
For that which we fall and get up again,
For that which cry and put paper to pen.
All for the sake of our insatiable thirst,
That some see as a blessing and others a curse.
But the game must be play with all that we hold,
With our hearts and our honesty and we must be bold.
To look defeat in the eye and never say die,
As cliché as it is…it isn’t a lie.
So open your eyes cuz you have never been blind,
What you see in your heart is the same in your mind.
And wait not for fate to come stumbling by,
For you hold the key that opens their eyes.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
its you,
that makes my heart race,
that makes my face blush,
that makes my speech rushed,

its me,
that always makes things worse,
that feels like he's always cursed,
that feels his heart about to burst,

its they,
that say its not meant to be,
that cannot see us as we,
that doesn't understand me,

its we,
that know true love,
that can rise above it all,
that has fallen but will stand up tall,

it is forever,
that we will be,
side by side,
for eternity.
Daniel Regan May 2012
No one ever tells you how to avoid that painful fall, or how to pick yourself up once you’ve hit that daunting wall. No one ever tells you that regret stings like hell, and no one ever tells you to beware of where you fell.  No one ever tells you that sleep is hard to find, when regret is the only thing running through your ever-sleepless mind. No one ever tells you that your mistake will haunt you for good, or that you’ll see her face in places where both of you once stood. No one ever tells you how to make everything right, and no one ever tells you when it’s the right time to fight. No one ever tells you when sorry isn’t enough, and no one ever tells you that saying more is tough. No one can ever tell you when you’ll finally make peace, and no one ever tells you the right time to use some elbow grease. These lessons go unsaid not for simple neglect, but because of the uncertainty in life and when they take effect. They are lessons learn not through book nor are they taught at any school, but rather learned through scrapped knees and those times you’ll play the fool. And though you may kick yourself repeatedly and wish to start anew, the cliché you’re only human will simply have to make do. Because solace isn’t found in holding to your past, it’s found in in knowing your limitations and proving they wont last.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
I've hit that wall, I've lost my stride. I cannot breath, ive lost my mind. My heart starts to hurt, and my pulse starts to race. My mind draws a blank, i turn red in the face. I close my eyes, but you're still there, not the image of you, but what we couldn't share. I hit the wall, and slam my fists, the pain keeps me focused, i can't feel my wrists. You've denied me my right, a right to normal life. You think you've done nothing, but you know not of my strife. My insatiable thirst, that cannot be quenched. You've caused me great pain, and you don't have the sense. The common sense to see what you've done, you're too caught up with life, but you know not of the knife. That sits in my back and digs deeper everyday, it causes me pain in so many different ways. You've done this to me, and i can never be fine. I can show you the scars, but you're too dumb to sympathize. So i sit here in pain, shaking from rage. Not wanting this poem to end, for fear of my home page. My home page is a reminder, of where I have failed. It's a reminder of my sickness, and the scars of the nails. The nails of your beliefs that were drilled into me, that haunt me to this day, and will not leave me be. For it was these beliefs that caused me great pain, that could not let me continue and have maid me insane. It is because of your docility that i could not advance, with me you never did take one single chance. You were always just there, never wanting anything more, always happy with me always opening that door. Until the day that i closed that door. You never took any risks, i couldn't take it anymore. i was sick of giving it all, and getting nothing in return. I was sick of always taking that step, and never getting a turn. But I was the one hurt in the end, stuck with my life broken, and unable to mend. Not because you left....No, thats not why at all. Broken because forever i will fall, into this never ending cycle of being the nice guy. Never acting out or letting my emotions fly. So thank you so much, for making me this way. But with this thank you, i have one more thing to say. ******* i say, with my emotions set free. Im done faking a smile, its time that you see. You should see all these scars, and this sickness that plagues me. It's the price that i pay, for being the guy. One helping of insanity, with mental problems on the side. So how about this, to make everything fair. When you get a white envelope, with a large bill in there. Take a look at it, it will most likely be from me, along with the money i owe from my insanity. So just take care of my therapy and we'll call this fair. And hopefully someday your face will be something i can bare.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Do not stifle my passion,
Found through the creation of my own destiny,
Branded with my emotions,
And forever fueling my intensity,
Flowing through me,
Pulsating in me,
Screaming from me,
Emitting words forever loaded,
With the intent to inspire,
Tattooed on my soul,
Eternally sewed internally,
Separated by those blinded by light,
Forgetting the dark,
Not for lack of fear,
But lack of recognition of its opposite force,
Forget not the passion,
Found in every stitch of life,
Continually becoming unraveled by simplicity,
By those who separate life,
Rather than recognize its union,
Siblings through geographical blood,
Not that of neighbors,
But by that of earth itself,
And you will see my greatness,
I will forever show my love not through others,
But through my own actions for you,
Keep me in mind when you forget your strength,
And I will remind you of love,
I will be you shadow of compassion,
With the intent to create happiness,
Striving for perfection,
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
I’m drawing a blank with what I should write, the bulb in my brain can’t seem to find light. My fingers are struggling to find the right key, and connect the right words that sound good to me. My sentences are short and my thoughts incomplete, blinded by the emotions that always seem to repeat. Hidden behind walls that always stay locked, missing a key that was never in stock. Putting on that mask for everyone to see, not realizing my mask is slowly becoming me. Playing my alter-ego in the game show of life, not realizing the chaos becoming so rife. As I continue this game everyone knows of as real, destruction consumes the truth with no chance to heal. My ability to separate the truth from the lies disappears every time I put on this disguise. One stitched with my insecurities and sown with my scars, of past aspirations that have fallen from the stars. Whose thread is derived from the lives of those around, intertwined in my disguise as my lies compound. Zipped up by my fear of complete isolation, without a second thought or a moment of hesitation. Because not getting hurt is worth more then love to me, regardless of how depressing this statement may be. Looking into loves eyes and watching it unfold, as the person before you breaks it without your control. Or watching those feelings in another person’s eye, as you break their heart and watch them cry. The pain is a gamble that all of us take, but I’ve run out of money to play with such high stakes. So I put on my disguise and do a little song and dance. Hoping the Elvis impersonation makes people stop for a glance. I make friends on the way and move on as time expires, hoping those whom I have met are ones I’ve inspired. And they see past the act and circus performer, praying their time with me isn’t like the Hangover. But no one can be sure of the foot print they leave, only hope that your time and effort were well received. And you put one foot in front of the other when its time to move on. And hope that your fingerprint won’t be faded or gone. From those lives you have touched and people that you meet, those souls you have brought together and made feel complete. So leave the light off and take off the disguise; let sleep open your door and give you rise. To an endless bliss as you close your eyes, and enter a world of an endless high.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Let me be your everything,
the one that gives your heart wings,
the one that makes you want to dance and sing,
the one who makes you smile when your phone rings,

Let me be the one to show you beauty,
Let me be the one to show you love,
Let me give you the world,
and all the stars above,

I will be by your side,
when all you have is nothing,
and when nothing is everything you need,
let me be your everything,

Let me hold you when you cry,
and when life doesnt seem fair,
i will never let you lie alone,
i will be the one who is always there,

So let me be your everything,
every second of every day,
Let me be your entire world,
in every single way
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
And as friends they stay and as friends they go. One step at a time as they mature and grow. Before your very eyes and behind closed doors, through the good and the bad no matter the score. You hold them when they cannot stand and you do the best you can, to comfort them in times of need and when life doesn’t go according to plan. Selflessness knows no bound and humility follows in suit, as you expect nothing in return no matter how terrible a dispute. You control what you can and leave the rest to fate, and hope faith is enough to keep a friendship before its too late. Before time takes its toll and brings to an end, a bond of understanding between an individual and a friend. To put the good of another before their very own, and wave goodbye to the wonderful friendship time has magically sewn. For this agreement they made in silent understanding, takes presidency over the different road each one will be traveling. And as their footprints begin to vanish in different cardinal directions, a simple reminder remains of that special connection. A joke or a poem, a memory or a song, one that remains in secrecy forever lifelong.  And as the end creeps near and regret sinks in, there is one person in life they could count on through thick and thin. And with a loving smile and one final breath, you remember their loving face in that instant before death. Peace settles in and a tear falls from your eye, death is not what you fear and not why you cry. You cry for life’s greatest pain of compassion and love, which will never be felt as you enter the world above. You cry because you are human and this is all that you know, to feel and give back that which you are afraid to show. And as your spirit ascends to a loving god above, you think of the person you were once made of. By those who walked into your life, and made you through companionship so rife. Only to walk out with their heads held confidently high, for the person you were helped them to fly.
Daniel Regan Dec 2012
Oh love struck heart, how I’ve missed you. Your quickened pace and weightless feel. As my eyes meet her gaze your once firm stance is forced to kneel. You cause my hands to shake when her voice finds my ear. And the smile on her, releases all of my fears. But my once lonely friend, you have invested too much. This love cannot come true, though you yearn for her touch. Her caress and her kiss, you will never call yours. Not now and not again, regardless of moments behind closed doors. I know you hurt and this pain cuts deep. Knowing you cannot love her and take that faithful leap. But love like this comes and then it will go, one moment you’re high and next moment you’re low. And then one day your feelings will flee, from the once cavernous chest found deep within me. Filler with these emotions that now distort my sight, force my hand to write, and makes my chest feel tight. Making me clench my shirt to hold in the butterflies, and force a friendly smile filled with those harmless lies. Towards a person whose beauty knows no bounds, whose gentle personality makes my heart relentlessly pound. And someday I promise your pain will be no more. And your heart will again heal where it has now been tore. We will stich you up again and move on as we always do, and convince ourselves once again to search for a love so true.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Can you keep my tempo? Can you follow my soul as it flows? Pulsating from my musical veins and originating in my lyrical brain. Fueled by the passion between my ear drums, continuously playing as I subconsciously hum. The melody of my life looking for its hormonal mate. Playing together as lyrical soul mates at an eternal rate. Two souls intertwined by one congruent play-list, a medley of dissonance harmonizing as they coexist. Creating our homophony destiny as our progression emits, always following our conductor’s rhythm in a way that we see fit. You are my perfect pitch, the one I choose to follow. Your dynamic hymn bewitching my heart, and fills what was once hollow. This sounds that seems to resonate from my fingers to my soul. Taking over my drone senses, as I seem to loose control. Over come with the emotion in knowing I’ve finally found the one. Watching as my concerto begins to unravel and come undone. So don’t ask me what I see when I look inside my heart. Take my hand and listen close as my composition starts. To know me is to know my music from its beginning till its end. And understanding I search for a song for which my heartstrings blend.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
I have this melody in mind that has played since my youngest days. Filling my heart and soul continuously, getting louder as it plays. Taking over my every dream and rocking me to sleep, unable to scream out in the night or even begin to weep. Waking to a new day with the same hope in mind, that my lifes strung out melody will somehow come unwind. And untill that sobering day comes ill playfully sing a different tune. Playing my melody with the worlds expectations untill they both become attune. Never humming my lifes true melody so as not to attract my muffled past. And hoping to god that this lifestye is one i will outlast. Or outlive, or out-will, or possible out-muster. For my struggling sanities sake, and before life loses all its luster. Becasue as my melody continues to play, everything becomes drowned out. Leaving behind a deaf man whos life was filled with hopeless regret and unwiltering doubt. But carry on i must do, for life demands nothing less. Regardless if your staggering smile continues to digress. Back to your haunting melody, and leaving you at second best. To the person you strived to be, who has now become an absolute mess. Holding back their emotion, from the world and those he loves. Seaching for the answers in the stars and endless skys above. Becasue the answers he seeks cant be found while walking on this earth. Buth rather in that unattainable heaven that has given his life worth. So play on my meldoy and sing me to sleep. I look forward to the silence as darkness plummets me ever so deep.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Great Music Dave,
Sunday Afternoon,
Work needs to get done,
Simplicity of life overwhelming,
At peace for a moment,
Texting and talking,
Thinking of all the possibilities,
Looking at family photos,
Missing you,
Missing her,
Missing them,
Guitar kicks in,
Songs emotions take over,
God i love these moments,
You there?
Maybe later then,
Back to my life,
****** of song,
Heart races with song,
I feel so alive,
I can conquer the world,
I can do anything,
But everything has been done,
What is left to do?
Give me time and ill show you world,
For now keep that guitar rolling Dave,
Stumbling through memories,
Couldnt have said it better,
Should i get to work now?
The prospect of life more inviting then the deadlines needed to be met,
Kinda deep,
Did i just think of that?
Amazing the thoughts that come out of a one track mind,
there i go again,
God life is wonderful,
Cant think of how to end this high,
I guess ill just end it with the last strum of this song,
And with one more line,
It feels good to feel again!
Daniel Regan Dec 2012
Strip me not of my dignity, as i have little to give. When i stand before your gaze, i yearn for you to forgive. My juvenile past that became my beginning, of a lifetime of worrying in this world that is spinning. Standing before you now with my world upside down, afraid of the pain that is causing me to drown. In this purgatory of uncertainty I hold no control, of my pulse that has quickened and my heart that you stole. Of the pain in my stomach that has begun to take wings, and my sleepless nights where your voice continues to sing. I’ve given up hope to find my lost lucidity, as my words and emotions find some validity. In this meek commonality on this once black and unscripted page, set free from my insecurity and my cognitive cage. You are what set me free and caused me to write, to hold back no longer this wonderful burning light. That has taken control and forced me to be, overwhelmingly and uncontrollably happy. I smile when you smile and laugh when you laugh, waiting patiently to see you through its only a second and a half. And though I see myself as completely lost without you, I wish to not be found if you are lost too. But lost I remain as I search and I search, not for my light but for the courage that remains perched. High in a tree and just out of reach, as I stumble over myself and search for my speech. Hoping one-day to climb that daunting tall tree, and show you the happiness you bring out of me. But for now I stay lost and sitting in plain sight, tirelessly afraid to express that which I now write. Looking for the time when I can summon all my strength, and become more then what we hold at arms length.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Do not settle for mediocrity, but rather reinvent extraordinaire through words and actions, meaningful experiences, and with those whom choose to understand. Not simply the world found in hand, but instead the world not seen through the eyes of ignorance. Choose not to stifle your knowledge and seek out the catalysis of change. Find that which fuels your passion and grab it with every fiber of your being. Conquer the world under your feet and reach for perfection. Question authority and always ask why not for personal gain but to gain personality and perspective. Celebrate the lows and the highs, and take the time to enjoy the morning’s warmth on your face. Love everyone no matter their differences and love yourself because you are unlike anyone else. Know humility and you will find peace. And when you cant hear yourself think, just scream until the world listens. Fear nothing not to be fearless but to be able to stand when everyone else cowers. Inspire through example rather then with the intention for action. Smile because people smile back. And when all else fails, always remember the revolution starts in the mind, and ends in the hand. xp
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Cant seem to close my eyes with the world on the other side. Banging on my eyelids like when hammer and nail collide. Keeping reality ever present in my marathon of a mind. Even when im dreaming i cant seem to press unwind. So i press another button, as my life continues to play. Wishing that the days i wasted could simply be replayed. Running while my life is in a state of full unrest, body condeming me to sleep under house arrest. Sleep finding adversity in the priorities i have set. Making deals with the sandman to pay off my sleeping debt. But every debt made with him is one i cant seem to pay. So ill break even with the reaper on my dying day. And ill push away the sleep, and ill push away the night. Tricking myself with coffee and work; my sleeping schedule ill rewrite. Ill catch those Z's again, by the comming of first light. When priority  meets procrastination, and sleeping becomes a right. So necessary to life as to every breath we take, keeping the sandman at bay for momentary sake. But sleep becomes anxiety as hour by hour they pass. Woken up abruptly by the sound of the next class. So you shuffle along your path, with one goal in sight. Keeping up your strength so you can stay in the fight. One where the rounds dont expire, and the bell never sounds. Only thing keeping you up, is that which knocks you to the ground. So you admit defeat for now and you suffer all the blows. Patching up all your wounds and reaping what you sew. Hoping that tomorrow you can finally take a rest. And find some sleep and peace of mind in your life of pure unrest. So finish up your work and try to close your eyes. Because in those few moments of silence, you can kiss your worries goobye.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
There is a truth to your lies,
behind those walls i see your eyes,
your eyes are wide open,
as well as are mine.

I can tell what's on your mind,
for once in my life I'm not so blind,
but i choose to keep away,
forever scared of yesterday.

It holds me to truth,
and keeps me in check,
never again will i feel that regret,
regret that caused me so much pain,

but the pain has left,
and has been replaced,
with another soul eating emotion,
that can be seen on my face,

but no one can see it,
not even you,
im like a brick of ice,
i always play it cool,

But forever ill stay,
behind these four walls,
with all eye on me,
and me standing tall,

but you make me feel small,
like im 3 feet tall,
me you could never see,
always over looking me,

but we play our parts,
in our three ring circus lives,
battling with lions, tigers and bears,
oh my,

and we keep on our mask,
and we keep on the paint,
acting like clowns,
never revieling what we feel deep down,

and we smile and wait,
with short words,
and laughs that are fake,
and hoping the other will break,

because then the day,
when one of us does,
the other will be there,
to help us rise above,

and then...maybe then,
the walls will come down,
and i will be close enough,
to hear your heart pound,

but that will take time,
so here ill sit and wait,
hoping and pray,
and leaving it up to fate.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
There's a song in my head thats been in there for days. It wages war on my every though and causes me rage. Its the song of the love birds, and the words of the love struck, the melody that gives you butterflies, but their songs are simply all lies. Lies drowned out by the world and their relentless sorrows. Sorrows that plague the world and make you hate tomorrow. Its the theme of the heartless, soulless and loveless. The ones who know no warmth, and make me regret saying this. I regret to inform you that love is just a lie, though up by hollywood who doesn't tell the other side. The side of those who have loved and lost it all. All their hope and their fire, lost their passion and desire. The desire to love and be loved until the very end. All hope lost, like a gust of summer wind. For you see you can not win, in this epic game of love. Every thing's against you, its impossible to rise above. Above all the hate and above all the sorrow. So just take off running, cuz you wont feel this tomorrow. So think of love as simply empty cargo, not meant to be given, received or borrowed. Because love is impossible to find, impossible to get, and impossible to show. Just remember that, the next time you feel low. And when you're down there, and cannot climb out. Just remember, that love isn't what it's all about. So forget all the hallmark cards, candies and flowers. Love isn't for everyone, its meant for the cowards. Those who can't make it through life, and need someone there. They tend to see life, as not always fair. But when is life fair, when love isn't real. So take it from me, and just forget what you feel.
Daniel Regan Dec 2012
The room begins to spin as the night takes me away. And the pain of tomorrow becomes a forgotten yesterday. Slowly coming to as my blood begins to clots, its replaced by the numbness as I take another shot. One to the chest and one to the head, as the reminder of forgotten pain flows from where I bled. Reaching for a needle but only finding glass, the numbness becoming my pain with the hope it will not last. Perpetuated agony forces me to feel, the numbness of the liquor or the pain that will not heal. Afraid of feeling too much or feeling not enough, coming face to face with my demons or being perceived as tough. So I drown in my self-loathing as I empty my ****** cup, knowing the hole I’ve landed in goes down and never up. Hoping for the night to bring about another day, when my pain becomes my motivation to help me get away. But for now I fill my cup and hold tight to where I bleed, knowing a day will come eventually when I will finally be freed.
Daniel Regan Apr 2012
I have given up on you, for better or for worse. As I reluctantly recognizes this new reality, in another selfish verse. I’ve been screaming my tired lungs out for you, in this poetic sort of way. And now my voice is not the only thing, that has a debt I now must pay. You were the only thing my soul cried out for, as I navigated this life. But I found poison to fill my empty soul instead, as I traded you for a knife. I did not hesitate at the task in hand, for I believed my compass pointed straight. Unaware that the everlasting cuts id make, were guided by the hands of fate. And now their icy grip holds me down, to a road I wish not go. Down a lonely path I refuse to travel, though I started down it long ago. Confused and immature I was, to the workings of the mind. To the social cues of this two-step mentality, that has me emotionally and physically blind. But past describes that hopeless place, where no return would patiently wait. And welcome me with open arms, to a place I can’t mistake. A place that holds familiar shadows, and my reoccurring nightmares. It has been my home for quit some time, though I’ve been consciously unaware. Walking with these shoes I wear, that are stained with countless wrong turns. Unaware of all the bridges I’ve build, and then simultaneously burned. Just to lead me down this rabbit hole, with no escape in sight. Holding onto this naive notion, of you as my guiding light. But that was before the endless darkness, and before the poison set in. And now no return has me forever, forever abducted by my sins.  I’m staring hopelessly at my compass, as its needle spins madly about. And I hope the image of you etched in its back, never begins to wears out. For my shoes remind me of my faults, and my cuts reflect my sins. But your picture is the happiness I had, for a compass that did not spin. You were what pulled my soul forward, and kept my compass straight. And now no return points my way, towards a character I will desecrate. One that was build up so high, and held in such regard. Only to be thrown hopelessly aside; forgotten, burned and scared. So reluctantly I drag my feet, into this world I helped to make. Praying someday I see you again, and from the darkness I’d awake.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Play me an emotion from your playlist of songs. Pull out your head phones like nothing could be wrong. Tune out the world, and listen up close. Put on your blinders so that no body knows. The pain that you feel as the base blares and rhythm goes, the melody kicks in and you try not to show. The emotion brought on by this song deep inside, being brought to life by this musical rollercoaster ride. The words hit your soul and emotions play along, with every note hit by this instrumental song. And the tempo picks up and you start breathing fast, not noticing the stares of people as they passed. As the song begins to ****** and your heart starts to race, you feel as if the song is playing on your face. Running through your veins from your hands to your feet, without your head phones your soul would feel incomplete. Then the music begins to die and you come down from your high. You pull out the needle filled with your music’s emotional supply. Press pause on your life and return to reality; loose yourself as you pull away from your sanity. Truth found in the music that plays on your pod, songs that could challenge the existence of god. Emotions brought forth by lyrical poetry and song, feelings of pain that are forever prolonged. By the world around you not playing to your beat. Drumming a song that keeps your feet out of sync. So you harmonize your life with the song of those around, staying in tune as the choir sings a round. Of the struggles of life, of the pains and its sorrows. More focused on the negatives then the prospect of tomorrow. But you return to your music as the day goes on, a little more comfortable and less withdrawn. You put on your headphones and dive back in. Filling up your syringe with your musical heroine. As you turn up the volume you feel every line. Your blood pumps harder with every rhyme. You intensify your high as your emotions run wild. Everything else seems nothing more then mild. More focused on the music as the world spins madly round, caught up in your reality of musical sound. And the lights shine brighter and everyone has a smile. As the feel of your music has changed with its style. And suddenly your soul has found rhythm once again. Life’s beautiful melody sounding better then it’s ever been. So you harmonize your feet with the beat of your heart; fueled by the song as it plays from the start. Finding yourself in a musical state of bliss, forgetful that your soul was in a painful abyss. But that doesn’t matter; you’ve replaced the bad with the good. With the touch of a button, everything is how it should. So you keep your emotions locked away from reality. The world couldn’t handle them in all actuality. In a little black box that has no key, but with the press of a button can set your emotions free. Can set your soul free and set it to flight, and make the wrongs in your world surprisingly right.
Daniel Regan Sep 2013
I fear the light with the sun and the dew. I fear my echoes that they might wake you.

I fear last night and I fear today. I fear the word that my motivations make us say.

I fear my regrets and I fear their truth. I fear that your maturity overpowers my youth.

I fear your thoughts and I fear your mind. I fear my willingness to be unapologetically kind.

I fear the silence that always rings through. I fear the awkward smiles they force out of you.

I fear my affections and how I react. I fear that my actions wont leave me intact.

I fear the road and I fear its end. I fear the message my silence will send.

I fear your love and I fear my pain. I fear the stillness that comes with the rain.

I fear my inaction and I fear my lingering hand. I fear where my emotions force me to stand.

I fear your smile and I fear his too. I fear the backstabbing that I just went through.

I fear my relations and their impact on me. I fear their power to bring me to my knee.

I fear the future and I fear my heart. I fear not returning from what was my start.

I fear my life and the time on my clock. I fear there is no one who can listen to me talk.

I fear my words and I fear yours too. I fear I have lost all trust in me and you.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
A simple truth haunts me every night. The thought of what i am and what i should be fight for control of my every thought, smell and sight. Im stuck in a realm of insecurity and doubt, clouded by the notion that i should stand out. Out amongst these people as a leader and a free thinker, a poet, and a key speaker. For i see my life as incomplete. I've been robed of my dreams and stuck in this place of unforeseen things to be. My purgatory is the action of my inaction. Its the reaction of my inaction. A fraction of my life, plagued by distractions and the misconception that i was in the clear. The clear of my future, when really i was no where near. So my once dear future vanished like those who i once held so near. Those whom i shared many tears and my most humbling fears. So with an unforeseen future in front and a shattered past in back, i keep on moving forward and i keep on the attack. Because i know nothing else but to keep on the move, to stay in the grove, and forget all the rules. Because everything i once knew is lost to that which is my reality. The reality in that the person i once was and the person i should be, will never be born from what is me!
Daniel Regan Apr 2013
Oh, I got that feeling again. I’ve been staring at the ceiling again. Letting my heart take flight, as the music reaches its height, taking my thoughts out of minds’ sight. But this feeling I now fight, cannot be controlled. Cannot be moved, overcome, or even forced to fold. Gripping my ever-changing soul and forcing my hands. As my breath leaves my body and my feet forget to stand. Hands pushed to speak through the letters they find. Putting feelings to words that cant seem to speak my mind. Frustrated by my inaction, that passively takes form. In the words I now force to unwilling conform. To these one-inch margins that box in my thoughts, constricting my deepest feelings and simplify life’s plot. All perpetuated by the rhythm, of the ever-spinning fan. Mounted just above my bed, that seems to hypnotize what’s in my head. Threading image to feeling, and my feelings to my words. As the tapestry of us, now resembles fleeing birds. Each winged reminisce that has forever taken flight, a moment in time that will always hold spite. Towards cliffs edge that stands between what the heart seeks. And a mans inability to step beyond its daunting peak. So with time ticking down and our future running by, I stand at a distance and continue our little lie. One living in the shadows of nights eternally pasted on, when passions ignited without though of our coming dawn. Only of the connection made with courage in hand, liquefied to motivate beyond what history had banned. What allies once forbid and witnesses cheered on, inhibition finding wind and politics forgone. Now forced to be nothing more then memories in the sand, as our hourglass approaches empty and my thoughts continue to be fanned. Continue to find rhythm as the blades spin madly by, ticking down to a day when I cannot take the lie. Cannot take this falsehood that pushes me from behind, as I approach that daunting edge of my own terrified mind. So with time in short supply along with my pride, I put black to white and our segregation aside. In the hopes that time stands still for just a moment more, to help you understand that it is you I adore.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
And when your days are short and your nights are long, you realize your faults and everything you've done wrong. You cower in fear at your own selfish demise, as you stare into the mirror at your bloodshot eyes. Stricken with the pain of all that you’ve lost, as you share a bed with agony regardless of cost. Regardless of all those you have left in your wake, for momentary pleasure and sanities sake. And now all that you’ve gained has become all that you’ve lost, as the lines you have draw begin to be crossed. Begin to be erased so that the world can make sense, of a society of people corralled by their fence. All different shades of shame and insecurity, with a height only determined by their childish maturity. But you scale all these fences and let yourself in, hoping for comradely or a moment of sin.  Anything to give meaning to your everlasting nights, and your constant stream of tears that you continue to fight. Night after night and day after day, insanity taking control in the worst possible way. Losing your grip on realities small weak hand, darkness taking over the lonely place you stand. All has been lost in this uncertain world, as you embrace the cold porcelain where you had just hurled. Another night of regret to make up for the pain, that never seems to end as its pumped through your worthless veins. Time to sleep away the day in the hopes of worthwhile dream, that can take me away from reality and a world that makes me scream.
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
Im everything im not. Im everything you see. Ive become someone i told myself, id probably never be. ive become conflicted inside, by who i was and who is me. You have me questioning everything i am. And everything i can be. I always held myself back. Never giving more then it took. Making things simply work, even when thats not how it looked. I always hid behind a mask, and played them for the fool. Always careful about what id say, always keeping my cool. I never gave more then i need to, and it always came at a price. I always waited for them to make the move, i never rolled the dice. I never took a chance, or let it all hang out. Everything i did was calculated, never showing any doubt. This is how it was, and how i wanted it to be. It kept me from getting hurt, it kept me from really seeing!! So i kept up this game, and never let them win. Never let them get the upper hand, and thats how its always been. Because i never wanted to have, my heart ripped in two. So i never let anyone know, what i really felt was true. I never told them how i felt, or anything inside. I never let them understand, and always told the lie. Because pain is worse then guilt, and its something i could bare. So i put up with it my whole life, and always played the game scared. And scared is how i feel, now that im with you. but Im someone completely different, you've made me into someone new. I dont want to play those games, and im done being scared. Im done hiding behind those masks, im done not showing i care. You've done this to me. Made me a better man. Brought everything i knew i could be, out in the open. You make me want to love, like there is no one else. YOu make me want to speak, when my voice has escaped itself. YOu make me want to sing, when my voice has no tune. You make the impossible possible, like snow in the month of june. You make my mornings full of hope, and give my nights reasons for dreams. YOu make my worries go away, and make my insecurities nothing it seems. THe new me is sick of being scared, and sick of the old me. and the new me wants to say those 3 little words, instead of 143. But i hold my tongue and bit my lip, always afraid, that ill let it slip. holding it back, waiting for the day, i can finally tell you what my heart has always wanted to say. like how ill always be there for you, and never make you cry. Ill be your everything, ill be you stars in the night sky. Ill be your remedy, when nothing else feels right. Ill rock you to sleep, when the sun turns to night. Ill show you love, when the world shows none, ill be your everything, when you feel like there is no one. I want to show you, the love you should be shown. I want to give you, the love you've never know. The kind that you dream about, and pray to god you find. The kind you see in movies, the kind of love thats blind. But i shut my mouth, and say even less. Afraid to move to fast, and making things a mess. So instead ill tell you ur amazing, and how i miss you so. Hoping to see you soon, and see your beautiful glow. And you'll say sweet dreams, and ill answer 'of you,' and know that when i close my eyes, what i said was true. And pray that in the morning, you get my 143. And maybe silently hope to myself, that you send one back to me!
Daniel Regan Feb 2012
My mind is a blank, and i cant find the words to write. Scratch that, i cant find the right words to type. Scratch that, Im just going to try and keep this light. Scratch that, Im just going to say what's right. Scratch that, i have a feeling Im going to be here all night. So lets just try this again, from the top they say. Just let my hands type, let them go on their way, way, way, way....DAM IT!! Im stuck on way. Just start typing something. Down by the bay, where the buffalo roam, down to my home, i dare not go. Just go, just go. Take off from here. Let the words flow, let this writers block disappear. I CANT!! Im forever stuck, with my gears caught in this muck. The muck of what to write. Cuz what i want to write, i cant seem to keep right in my head. Its impossible to focus, i cant remember what i said. Something about love, or something about hate. Scratch that, it was something about fate. See what i mean, this game isn't easy. I can always right about that, or reeces pieces. Scratch that, Im not talking about that. This is a poem, i need to bring it back. Back to my topic, scratch that. Back to my focus, scratch that. Back to....scratch that. Im just going to leave it at that.
Daniel Regan Mar 2013
Sparks begin to rage, and cluster on my skin. Scars begin to form, as my demons begin to win.
The pain begins to bubble, blistering from within.  Scabs begin to show, as I bleed forth all my sins.
Evil finds it breath, and a fire now ensues. Throwing water on a blaze, though I know I’m going to lose.
Burning deep within, as my burdens begins to fade. Though the wounds are in the past, the coals become a new shade.
Glowing florescent green and blue, with intensity brand new. As gasoline is thrown unknowingly, by the choices I pursue.
My misconfigured body, has taken on new shape. For the blazing inferno controls me now, as my body is relentlessly *****.
Scorched by my own hand, as no bandage can be of aid. Praying for the ashes and the shimmering remnants to fade.
Clutching to my body, and holding to what’s left. Fragments of a soul remain, as the fire plagues me with theft.
Taking from me my sanity, and all hope of escaping hell. And leaving my charred remains, in this blackened and empty shell.
And from darkened knee I arise, with embers still alit. And dust from me an ashy cover, though my eternal sentence not remit.
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