The room begins to spin as the night takes me away. And the pain of tomorrow becomes a forgotten yesterday. Slowly coming to as my blood begins to clots, its replaced by the numbness as I take another shot. One to the chest and one to the head, as the reminder of forgotten pain flows from where I bled. Reaching for a needle but only finding glass, the numbness becoming my pain with the hope it will not last. Perpetuated agony forces me to feel, the numbness of the liquor or the pain that will not heal. Afraid of feeling too much or feeling not enough, coming face to face with my demons or being perceived as tough. So I drown in my self-loathing as I empty my ****** cup, knowing the hole I’ve landed in goes down and never up. Hoping for the night to bring about another day, when my pain becomes my motivation to help me get away. But for now I fill my cup and hold tight to where I bleed, knowing a day will come eventually when I will finally be freed.