"I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU."*
I cry screaming as I leave new memories on my skin.
The thought of finding out these feelings are right..
Where do I begin?
Old memories race through my head.
Wishing I could go back and erase all of the beatings I was fed.
But, instead.
I lay beside you..
You are not him.
You treat me ever so gently, yet, I feel hurt within.
Your words pierced through my heart.
Worse than any beating I could have been dealt.
You hurt me, yet, you are my haven.
Parts of me long to leave you, but it's as if engravings are permanently placed on my heart.
The thought of leaving..
Putting my head to rest.
"I love you.. I love you."
Why won't these feelings egress.

Those words..
I begin to choke.
"I won't make you a promise I can't keep"
Begging, at your feet.
Please for me.
Why do you still speak to her?
Don't reply.
"She still has feelings for me.. she wants to die.."
You think she had feelings for you when she was messing with that other guy?
Choking on my words.
All I do is cry.
Why are you hurting me
Can't you see?
While trying to save her, you are killing me..
I'm broken, can't you see?
But I "understand" it's about her.. not me.

You chose to disregard my feelings for hers?
You.
The one who opened my scars.
"The one?"
My heart continues to ache.
Waiting to break.
I can feel it. I know this torment has just begun.
Why do I allow you to hurt me?
Allow you to see parts of myself in which I've kept hidden?
Only to be throw away, good ridden
"everything will be alright."
" I love you"
Do you really?  
Your words shoot an unbearable pain.
" I love you. I love you. I love you."
Making me go insane.
My unknowing womb, eating me alive..
Why now after all this time?
My heart aches and I tremble, tears rushing down my face.
"Her feelings mean more than mine"..
But
I've never left..
I stayed by your side.

I no longer feel the need to care.
Blood.
Scattered everywhere.
"What happened?"
"Why am I here."
These feelings driving me insane.
After all I'm always the one to blame.
I wonder what happened here.
Looking around I freeze in place.
My body..
My brain scattered over the drapes.
My so called escape.
Trapped.
No emotion.
I feel numb.
I should've thought twice before I held that gun.

You said you'd love me like there was no tomorrow, yet, tomorrow is here and you are gone.

Heat building up fast.
She's looking for an escape.
Heart pounding.
Ventilation taking place.
Tears of emotion flowing down her face.
Feeling the thumping pace.
She loves him.
You can see it in her eyes.
The way her face glows.
She only sees one guy.
Her whole life, feeding of lies.
Looking for an escape.
Using *** as a way out.
Knowing his "I love You." is a temporary thing.
That's if there was any meaning.
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Hating herself.
Finally there's Him.
She believes that He is the one.
But that "I love You." turned out to be a "need"
On her knees she cries and pleads.
Hating herself.
She's cries and cries.
Hands shaking as she pulls out a gun.
Breaking her own heart sounds like fun.
All due to another lie.

I have the same dream.
The dream that excites me.
Waking up, do I scream?
Not wanting your in-between.
Twelve years old.
Walking alone.
Three approach me.
Starring at the graveyard trying to look away.
Hoping for avoidance.
Starring up and down my legs.
Passing by, heart racing.
The smell of liquor and your misguided tongue.
Asking a twelve year old for a little bit of fun.
Running, pulling hair.
"Where do you think you're going?Get back here."
Stone wall meeting lips.
Legs shaking.
Pain between hips.
Blade illuminating, turns being taken.
Taken.
Reliving the memory.
Waking up.
Exciting.
What's wrong with me?
Please old memories.
Stay away from me.