Were the world mine to give,
I would keep it.

Your sparkling eloquence;
words so beautiful
my diamond eyes
weep.

bred of depression, and hatred, and who the hell knows.
my mother is a *****,
and my father is a thief.
god. there must be a better word, what do you call a man
who takes everything you own,
through the act of convincing you to give it to him?
so much worse than a thief.

and me?
I've never known love.

I didn't know that your father wasn't supposed to call you a '*****' or a '*****' daily, just because you remind him of her.

I didn't know that your mother wasn't supposed to disappear for days, with men she didn't know.

after 21 years of begging for love
that I never knew I would never recieve,

I have just finally found what love truly feels like.

because I have finally learned to love myself.

I am only the unfortunate product of their conception.

this does not make me like them.

this does not make me who I am.

I am the woman who walked on the broken glass of a hate filled love, between two ******* up humans.

I am the woman who learned the art of steady feet, and came to the other end without a scratch.

because I know who I am.
and I love who I am.

and I am sure, if they gave me a chance, they could learn to love me.

but I don't need their love.

even if I wasted 21 years figuring that out.

'let go'*
she says,
as she reaches in to
the deep pit of my chest,
and retracts the brittle
shrunken heart.
Once swollen with her love.
now hers, to keep.
whatever twisted,
Awful mess
shes found.

Can we call it irony,
that while half the world is begging to set themselves free,
I've never felt the pain of withdrawl,
The pain that I feel is only emotional.
while Ive spent this past month,
breathing only the clean fresh city smog
Im begging for your nicotine,
Confused by why anyone struggles to quit.
It would be so easy for me,
if only it weren't the easiest way
to **** myself,
With slow suffering.
happiness now,
euphoria when my lungs finally give out.

I am in love.
Finally with myself.
Instead of you.