You had just gone.
I heard your door close.
You'd touched my hair and smiled at me
And left
And I'd called after that you were beautiful,
That I meant it.
And when I'd heard the click,
The tears had started
And I'd let them come.
Crying over you feels like being saved.
I let my head fall back
As if basking in a summer rain
And eventually those tears brought me to my knees-
There is always a backlash, to feeling saved-
And I curled up as tight as I could on the floor
And- I don't know why I said it,
I never say things like this, never-
But I remember whispering very softly,
"I'm still here. Please know I'm still here.
Please come back out and check.
Please... I'm still here."
And a moment passed
In utter silence,
And I hauled myself off the ground,
Wiped away a good part of the tears,
Turned to the window to let the cold air kiss my face
And brace me for the walk back to my room
And I heard the door open.
No, it can't be...
You heard me.
You came back,
And took me in your arms,
And nobody
Has ever done that for me before.