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:/
i don't wanna love again
;
**** i just wanna love myself
romanticising mental illnesses
or even worse,
starting romance
from one

should be illegal.

doesn't anyone know
that disease
is not beautiful?

how many more hearts
have to be broken
for that to be
understood
#impersonal #randomthoughts #love #romance #mentalillness
~
i will laugh with you
at rupi kaur poems
but i write them
about you
i picture you under the mellow sky right after
sunrise
laughing
i feel calm, as if lofi music is playing

actually i'm listening to it right now
i'm supposed to be doing
work but
i'm thinking of you

i don't know where we'll be in
a couple years
but i hope you will be happy
and i will be happy
even if it's not with each other

i feel detached
i won't be looking for answers from
you anymore
i'm trying to look for them in myself

i have to be independent
how do i know my happiness is
from self-love if it's entangled
in what i feel for you?

i know you said that i can work on
myself by being with you but
i can only give out so much
love in the world

and right now i barely have
anything left to feel
i am struggling with
managing mentally and emotionally

i want whatever is left in me
to finally be invested in me

it's about time i think

i don't want to be loved by anyone
else
and i never thought i would come to a point where
i'm saying this
but i'm desperate for self-validation and self-love

i value myself more than i realise,
and i want myself to
look up at me too,
if that makes any sense

but i hope you will do well.    

i hope i will too.

i hope you understand.

sincerely,
the form of me that lives in your head
(i hope it isn't too bad)
;
i know i was programmed to
be strong

but the algorithm's  giving me
the ******* results because
the thoughts that feed it

are trying to ******* **** me
i want to say i love you
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