I thought
I'd be done
With the sad ****
By now

I am paint over masking tape
To create sharp lines
That never turned out right

I am fingers pressed to screens
And screens
And screens

I am who not to be

I am who I am
And I know what I want

I am drunk,
But not really anymore
So I'm sober
I guess

I am a girl giggling
As her second real boyfriend
Tried to get her to **** his ****
After getting her high
For the first time

I am a mother
Who cheated
By getting an epidural

I am the worst thing
That's ever happened
To too many people

I am poem
After poem
After poem
About boys who probably
Don't remember my name
And whose names
I don't remember

I am dust in the wind
On a dead end highway
In Oklahoma
Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains

I am all the love
And mania
Of a collection
Of bad decisions

I am the screaming
And wretching you hear
Within the walls of a jail

I am wrong so much more often than I am right

I am the acrid smell of
****
Burning through the walls
Of a not-so-happy home

I am dying of thirst
Where the only source of water
Is thousands of miles
Away

You aren't real anyway

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
When she ****
Too late now
She's already here

But maybe you've forgotten
How bitter she tastes
After too many
Heaping helpings

Have you ever
Been in love?
Have you ever
Been in love
Like I have?
Stark, raving
Mad
And heavily
Indebted
To yourself?
Have you ever
Abused
Prescription
Medication?

Nothing matters
Not the boy
Not the girl
Not the baby
Not the pain
Not the joy
Not the *****
Or the pills
Or the ****
So just







Go die.

Mi corazon
Mi Alma
Mi querida sombrita

I'm going to hell
Y tú, a la casa de tu abuela
Ms. Rachel and
Bubble guppies
And Paw Patrol
And plenty of snackies
But no mama

Everyone assures me you'll never remember
But I worry
That you'll always wonder
Why you worry about me leaving you

Suddenly, the distance between us
Ceases to be
Immense
And becomes
Unfathomable

Sometimes
It just gets to be
Too much

My tears
Don't come easy,
But they come

Under the pressure
Of a thousand
Disappointments

Squeezing out
Every salty drop
From my soul

Wrapping around
My chest and waist
Like a corset of sorrows

Pull the laces
With the words
You shouldn't say

Bind my arms
With the swaddle cloth
Of your flaws

Sometimes
It just gets to be
Too much

Poetry
Spilled from my mind
Like water
From a Tennessee cliffside
In the Spring,

But lately
I've been sober
And the poetry
Has stilled itself
Like water
On a Tennessee cliffside
In the Winter

How long I'll be able to handle this persistent sadness before I finally put an end to it

for good

It's not nearly like
Wanting to **** myself
So
Don't you ******' worry

Nvm
JK
False alarm

He was just *****

LOL

I told him I was in love with him
And he didn't run

The frenzied dance
Of his eyes
His hands
His mouth
His heart
And his c o c k

Got me ****** all the way up

I miss you
And you
Yes, you
You, too

I miss the days
When you looked at me
Like you were
Happy to see me

But my true self
Burned your eyes
With intense black light
And you looked away

One of you said
I'll find someone
Who will give me
Everything

But I never really
Wanted everything
I only wanted
Love

I'd love for something to choose
"Not to be"
For me

It's gotten so bad that I drove a total of three hours just to sleep next to a boy that isn't complete garbage.

Baby boy-
I am not nearly
THAT big of a simp

You may be cute,
But ain't nobody
THAT ****** cute

I guess it was, but the tear fell anyway

Witching hour-
Long special
For the masses
Of anxious thoughts

More *****!
No,
You're cut off.

All the bars
Are closed
In Cleveland
But I've got
A good bit
Of liquid cowardice
Left in the freezer

Is that he
Had been an only child
Until our sister
Came along

I'm livin'
In the past
Since the past
Was so much
Better
Than Now

In the past,
You loved me

Now,
You don't

You're up a little late
Aren't you?

The light in your windows
Tells me all
I need to know

"I want a man whose hand doesn't shake when he puts it up my shirt. Y'know what I'm saying?"

- Reese Witherspoon in Four Christmases

Who hasn't drunkenly complained to the guy at the liquor store about their abysmal romantic prospects?

The roll hit
just after
I played uke
with a bunch
of ****** hippie
kids.

I thought of you
Euphoria
and my brain
Booted up the
drug.
molly.exe

"Rolling hard"
is interesting
Terror and bliss
Dancing a woozy
Tango in the night

Terror had her fill
and so subsided
so all that
was left
was Bliss

On the beach
With friends
So much
Bliss

Almost overwhelming,
Terror may
threaten you,
but Bliss
checks that *****

I ran into the
waves
of that infinite
Ocean
And screamed
into them
I screamed
Into the Ocean
With the full
force of my
Voice
for the first time
since my last
Mental break

She will always
Roar louder than
you,
That infinite Ocean

There is a certain
Ache
Familiar to me
But worse this time

We met on the subway
At the Subway
No-
But there was a blunder
So it qualifies

I was drunk
On Angry Orchard
Unfiltered
The drink and I
Had that in common

But you were
Sweet to me

And so
So
So
So cute

The real thing

I could feel it

Could you?

Would, coulda,
Shoulda
Spent my days
Crocheting blankets
For my cats,

But noooooo

I had to spend
All that time
Writing poetry
About you.

(>._.)></3

The way my heart
-My little engine-
Turns potential
Into kinetic energy

Zero emissions,
But ****
Does she purr!

Hey, V.

Okay, girl. What are we doin'?

We're waiting.

For what? Not that little blonde kid!

No, not him.

Then for what?!

Calm down. You've got me.

Yeah, I guess...



I don't like him, ya know...

I know.

He said I was beautiful-

I know.

-and then he just-

Would you shut the **** up?!

Christ, sorry!

Ugh, it's not you. It's-

Him.

Yeah.

Forget him! Let's find a hot stranger!

No.

Girl.

I know.

He doesn't want you OR me.





You just gonna ignore me now?

Tryin'.

*****, face it. He was just another excitable boy who got caught up. None of them will stay, and if they do, it won't work. Not like you want it to. I miss the old you who understood that. Why do you have to do this to me?


Whatever. I'll be here when you wake the **** up.

Yeah, I know.

The ravenous,
Beastly harlot
With the many arms
And many horns
And the tongue of
Honey and silver
Is not at all
Tamed.

She is simply
s l u m b e r i n g

All you need do
To wake her
Is lean close
To my ear
And whisper,

"Now."

~

You quiet the tempest
Of my emotions
With the stillness
Of your love

I'm only hit again
By the tidal wave
Of my infatuation
After you leave

But in those
Private moments
Where I feel so safe
I melt into you

At. Every. Opportunity.

That quiet calm
Which evades me
Most days
Is freely mine, with you

And my love
Slows down
And breathes
Your scent

And it trusts you <3

Your eyes reminded me
Of my cats
With wiiiide
Open pupils
Dreamily taking in
So much
Of the world

Really,

Why on GOD'S GREEN EARTH
Did a:
1. Trump-supporting
2. Muslim-hating
3. Trump-supporting
Boy
Think he could get
THIS *****??

She had just
Stepped away
For a second

BANG!

Written on
The mirror:

"I'm so sorry.
I was never any good at
Goodbyes"

I woke up at nine.

"Good morning," he croaked through vocal cords unused for hours.
She smiled.
"Hi," she sighed.
His smile was small, with eyes slowly blinking.

Well, **** me.

I guess it would've been
More acceptable
For her to leave you
Over pizza

Whatever.

Fine.

Is this it, then?

A salad with tiny bacon bits?

I wanted the bacon cheeseburger!

Rhapsodizing at
The end of my allotted
Four hours of sleep
Finally, my exhaustion
Gives way to
A strange,
Happy,
Manic Phase

I love that you
Are moved by
My sadness,
The tension
That spirals
Into madness,
Free entertainment
For my little
Audience

Are my tears
Pretty
When they fall
From my face
In the dim light?

Are my fears
Disturbing
When they spill
From my lips
Like an angry
River?

Am I
Somehow
More attractive
For my tragedy?

I can be
Your dangerous
Distant nightmare
If you promise
To fetishize it
From time to time