I don’t have a cute laugh
Or an attractive voice
I’m not skinny
Or tall
Or pretty
My feet are big
As is my nose
I’m not Miss America
Or the girl next door
I’m not the cute awkward weird girl
I wish I was though
I wish I was skinny
And tall
And pretty
I wish my feet were dainty
And my nose small and pert
I wish my voice was sultry
And my laugh adorable
But that's all they are:
Wishes

You’ll never know
My thoughts hardly stray from you and
My need for you to be near.
You’ll never know
I notice how perfectly your hand fits on my hip,
Your arm around my waist and
My head on your chest.
You’ll never know
I see beauty in every movement you make,
Whether you are stretching,
Cooking
Or pulling me close.
You’ll never know
How my eye slides away from other men.
How in my mind,
You are perfect for me.
You’ll never know
My fear that someone may come along that,
In some way, fulfills every trait of your perfect woman.
You’ll never know
The amount of love I feel for you is more than I can express
And more than you thought possible.
Because of fear that you might not believe me,
You’ll never know.

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place