there's something that I wanted to ask
about songs that slowly resonate in my field of heart
are you hear them too, or is just me?
however, I keep that for me.
the songs start easily and grow by time
when my lover comes towards me unannounced.
I'm still on the same frequency as he is,
in a world where speaking words like I love you
have real power, to move the space, to warm up a body
to create a need for more, considering even a life time together.
so, must be a song about love.

You don't judge, don't yell, don't speak mean
It makes me feel  humbly , and you stay by me.
I drop myself, deep in the mud
you worry sick, and I'm afraid
came back, be brave
it's all I hear
it comes from you
my friend... darling.

there you are!
stealing glances, even the innocent ones.
your shy smile, your still hands
your confident walk.
how could I not recognize you
from a million man?
as my heart jolts of joy
when I lay my eyes on you.

have a toast for your new host
which may be a new you,
a brand new day is ahead,
rise your glass of hope and love
to touch the sky, to drink it all
or at least try to do so,
a new year may be the next challenge,
so wake up in the morning and have the courage
to dare greatly and enjoy the achievements in life.

things were new, now are old
it's part of this movement in entire world,
life beliefs, dreams or expectations,
are now cheerfully updating.
but what to ask for in this new year?
perhaps the same stuff, plus
a glimmer of wisdom
to understand more better and deeper
the next segment in our life.

when the end will come
I want the power to stay straight, unharmed.
to not feel sorry for my soul
to not be scary for the cold.

late in the night, remembering
to put my clock alarm, for the last time
to get up in the morning sun.
It will be the last day to think, to feel, to breathe.
there is no turning back
no point of retreat
who will know?
I will never see...

I hope I didn't get my life wrong
to wish for one minute at death's door
to redeem my former sins
to cry and beg  from my beginnings.

from the wisdom of an old woman
who had a sick husband shot in the chest
five centimeters to the east
so close to the heart, he even survived
The Second World War
had seven children
and a good but short life.

old face sunburned  and sweaty,
old soul full of memories that keep her
dream awake of what was
a lifetime ago she whispers slowly from nowhere.

sometimes I'm afraid of her power
but when she speaks I'm covered in emotions
I wish that all can be the same
like once upon a time
*today, tomorrow and every day.

pain shows up differently.
manifests variously in each of us
highlighting
our personality
when we express suffering.

pain of being away from a place called home
where mom can cook and listen to me how I will fulfill my dream.
my dream is my future
not
my future is a dream , inclined to think that now.
still, nothing happens and I'm here. thousands of kilometers away
in a foreign country where I miss hearing my language
even in a store,
and to spend a lazy Sunday with my friends and family.
I always feel like I don't have a balance
and I hear only with one ear
their language.
sometimes I get mentally tired.
the power of trying is wasted halfway to... nowhere.

what I could give in exchange here?
nothing can pay the comfort of home.
and I miss the thousands of people from home
because here are many and no one.

I find it downright admirable
to read the thoughts of ordinary people
which may transpose letters on the sheet,
forming eternal words with magic meanings.
I tend to think there is a hidden power,
because some souls can be healed with good metaphors.

therefore,
you don't need to go back in time
it's all here,
you can feel it, smell it and touch it
as long as you are creative to imagine.

the disputes between lovers should be about
what colour the wallpaper is best to have,
not about what each other may conceal
wanting to quickly reveal.

when I'm seeing that your features are sad
I'm not allowed to ask why?
when you speak less in evening when you leave
I can't beg you to stay for a little bit.
I can't read you like a newspaper
but I know that,
there are some days when you're keeping all inside.

they both are out of clever things to say
and that's why she's left alone
like in a tremendous storm.

she's covering her face and looking away,
she smiles with lips but cries with small eyes,
she begs with shaky hands for a bear hug
and he's not realizing that she is slowly dying
every day in front of him.

or maybe he's doing the same.
I'm sorry my friend, but
some relationships are ending before
you realize it has been ended.

Turn your face to the wall or look in the other way*
I'm thinking that's what I should say
Because you do not want to see how I'm releasing
The sad emotions that I've kept inside for so long,
This is my moment to let them free,
So they can spread their wings to fly away
Where dreams can catch depressed feelings
and converse them in beauty of life.
If you don't have the strength to witness this amazing event,
my darling friend, close your eyes and
please hold my hands.

A river is forming on the mirror of my eye
I should not blink, I can't risk to be tired apart.
apart of my reality of fiction happiness
and happy ends that never ends.

deep thoughts on stream and my mind is drought
secrets hopping from here to there
making their ways down with moist salty
until can reach the innocent heart.
I'm afraid that soon enough, lovely heart
will be corrupted by the reasons
that are still active inside the mind.
at horizon, happy places and interesting sites.
but how to enjoy when one eye is seldom cry?

you notice
that you're hurting me to the tears,
however,
I confess in a soft voice
that it was deeper than this.

stand still second that you pass
for me to have a longer kiss, now at the midnight.
you want to go to the next second to sum up,
trust me, I understand that.
I want to do the same with him,
so please,
wait a moment to go further and meanwhile, feel free to dream.
make the time a little long
so I can speak tomorrow about love.
listen to my request and extend yourself
so I can repeat again that action that starts with a bonded kiss.

I want to say...
but not the words to be heard
maybe only my mind to be read
because I feel the need so deep
to scream out the secret I keep.

There is a pain that strikes the heart
   And all that bleeds from the inside
      Are sighs
          And sighs
              And sighs.

looking out my window
I see some wonderful things,
like beautiful, sleepy birds
who are sitting on slim twigs of white crystal
one after another just to keep the warmth
between their little bodies.
after all
there is a place without oblivion.

I fell asleep with your image in my thoughts
knowing that you'll never know how I felt.
the night was always short,
so the dreams have come and gone
about possible alternatives involving
kisses and no clothes.
I woke up before sunlight in many days
hoping that eventually you'll notice me
how I really am.

have a break from poetry
he shouts and chills are spreading
down my spine,
reality is here
I am looking forward to escape it
don't close your **** eyes*
I want my eyes to stay open just to see
and to stay close just to rewire
this reality with some fantasy,
to make it prettier
just a bit.
he continues to shout,
I do not care,
I will always have my poetry.

I got the feeling that
my all life revolves, without my attention
somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow.
the promise of having all forever
and get a full use of it snaps me out of numbness
and I finally can feel *today.

I've heard some words that bring just pain
mostly from moms or dads that fight with fists,
and
I've seen some kids that stay just still,
five minutes or at least.
I was so scared that poor children can be
living statues at the gate.
the gate that's border between now and then
or I rather say, between us and them.
I've heard sounds that keep me up at night,
even in dreams everything is
with silent screams
while my heart is bent in two.

For a few moments, I want to swallow the past,
to stare in the face this old chapter of life.
time have come for a final reading
and see what I did and did not wrong.
delete characters, events,
to forgive them and forgive mine.
there is not much time and I would have to start again
to write my own end, to build my new time line
and conserve most pleasant moments,
to just take less from people,
so I can write about beauty and truth.

but this is just a chapter, of my former life
and undo is a fairy tale of memories
and the point of this is writing a new chapter in life.

loving you at your best
is a happenstance of pure joy,
but if you ever consider to change
know that loving you at your worst
will be my best self destruction mode.

undress the burden that you wear
leave it rot on wetland
be thin and simple when you'll travel,
all the ways are now more narrow
choose the best entrance between all,
stick with it until you will find
a sense of peace in your remained heart.

people on the street talk loud
and the eavesdropping sounded
exactly like that:
there are too many explanations
most of them overlooked by love,
but with time comes a feeling
that grows inside the mind
replaying in unexpected moments
there is definitely something selfishness
*in not showing affection.

take me!
on a ride we should go
secrets not to hide anymore but to spit them all
to whisper slowly in the cold night
when we stay embrace, face to face.
take me in a dream
to discover a new place for both
'cause we need to engage in life
like we never did before
what better way for me to watch your back
and you to watch mine.
we are worth fighting for, not tapping out anymore.
have a moment with me
tell me not what I want to hear
but what I need and I'll do the same for you.
chasing for an open space, with clear view
we should discover how is to love
and
maybe
how is to fall in love again.

take me again on that ride
make me to anticipate what pleasure is like
I know you won't go there,
yet
remember and show me what is foreign now to me
what I've forgot I crave so much
what safe and belonging is like.

take my hand and give me your power to do something
I'm tired to feel hopeless, I want to feel fearless
crying like a cascade, never stopped over a decade
it's going to be worse, so please stay close.

take my hand and promise me the moon
so we can both smile at impossible abduction in the sky
look at me and tell me that I count
or
it will be fine, love
therefore, hold my hand and don't let go.

drinking tea and writing poetry
some to share
some only for my eyes to see
is not a passing breeze of freedom
rummaging through mind's corridors
to keep in check life reality,
is like pure blessing
if you ask me.

I've sold my soul to you this month
thinking all the past will be forgot,
instead I've found myself with tears on cheeks
and you looking like a fool at me.

being in the fog of unclear thoughts
while waiting for a calm moment for them to sit down
to put in hold this part of life, may be a good decision after all.
but there you came fast to me, full of your wicked **** grin,
and I'm not afraid of shaking my thoughts even harder,
while everything is going slower.

By the time you will read this, I'll be long gone.

I will not be in the land of dead, nor of alive either. I will be as I was since, well... long before my heart was crushed between lips or fingers or people's thoughts.

I will be here, in a place between your world and mine. In places where the secret code to enter is pain in the chest, days of crying and words never heard of ears that count.

In this vast land is a city with concrete blocks, all gray. The streets are one way roads that travel beyond and above. Roundabouts at every mile that gives chances to go back.

back where?! you might ask.

I do not know to answer to that, I do not know to tell you stories of those who took the route back, or to show you pictures of new places they landed.

But I can tell you about the place where I am at.

Blocks are all around but going straight down the street you'll reach a park.

People stay here day and night with pillows and blankets all spare for just in case.

In case of what?! another good question you might add.

In case that someone who was their friend some time ago will come along. Not for company. No. In this place knowing that you're not alone is enough. no need to interact. The spare pillows and blankets are for those who have the courage to take some steps towards our grieving and pain and... just to hold our hands.

Among others like me, we are not alone. If you want to came and take me back, please do it.

I will be here.

I'm waking up before the dawn
gazing at the gray ceiling with sleepy eyes
seeing something is not there
but sure was.
effortlessly, light as a feather
I'm drifting to the open window
waiting for the cold to get inside,
with bare feet there I stood
and stood
until I woke up with you
by my side.