Beloved child of mine
I desire you to have
Fulfilled life, greater than mine!
With smiles and giggles
For everyone!

When cry upon you will come
I shall stand with open arms
For you to find
My chest, my hold, my lullaby.
❤ Always and forever ♥

Distinguishing that I have this flame,
that has a blaze of shame
because of the appalling thoughts
that voyaged my fields of mind
regarding how appalling
will it be to have
your lips on mine
your shirt off and trousers as well
furthermore
I can't enlighten you on the remaining thoughts.

there you are!
stealing glances, even the innocent ones.
your shy smile, your still hands
your confident walk.
how could I not recognize you
from a million man?
as my heart jolts of joy
when I lay my eyes on you.

I break the days
in parts of beauty and happiness
sadness and pain,
longing for the dusk to settle
and rising my weeping eyes
to see those around me
as heartbreaking as I am.

you notice
that you're hurting me to the tears,
however,
I confess in a soft voice
that it was deeper than this.

perhaps I am a fragment of them,
careful with what I see and not having a lot of skin,
because of the emotions burden to constantly wear
and all the negativity is slowing us down
to move the fingers that crave to write the words,
first on papers and later - hopefully- on every soul,
about the joy, the love, the pain, the hurt we see and feel.

I'm waking up before the dawn
gazing at the gray ceiling with sleepy eyes
seeing something is not there
but sure was.
effortlessly, light as a feather
I'm drifting to the open window
waiting for the cold to get inside,
with bare feet there I stood
and stood
until I woke up with you
by my side.

why should you keep
   the secret ?
  
   because...
   she's not yours to love.

blue words on white paper
that's what she wrote in secret
then placed them with care aside
near his black glasses
to surprise him or not,
that ended with:
your love.

wandered far into the dreams
while you were in front of me,
chests which touch when breathing deep
and counting down seconds until the kiss.

escaping death! is this for real?
can he or she be so willing
to pause or forget a moment
or to make a trade with us
because, in any moment of the day
we are important
we are humans!
the only souls that matter for he or she,
which gazes us in the eyes and bones
and smiles or screams when obtaining our souls.
oh dear death, you play my life like an artist!

The single star on London sky
is white dot shining high
a clear path between two worlds
and we are stuck on planet Earth.

this star is bright and every night
is looking curious down my window
staring into my eyes,
in one month we came so close
my dear star sings me songs
and tells me stories
about people and other mysteries.

By the time you will read this, I'll be long gone.

I will not be in the land of dead, nor of alive either. I will be as I was since, well... long before my heart was crushed between lips or fingers or people's thoughts.

I will be here, in a place between your world and mine. In places where the secret code to enter is pain in the chest, days of crying and words never heard of ears that count.

In this vast land is a city with concrete blocks, all gray. The streets are one way roads that travel beyond and above. Roundabouts at every mile that gives chances to go back.

back where?! you might ask.

I do not know to answer to that, I do not know to tell you stories of those who took the route back, or to show you pictures of new places they landed.

But I can tell you about the place where I am at.

Blocks are all around but going straight down the street you'll reach a park.

People stay here day and night with pillows and blankets all spare for just in case.

In case of what?! another good question you might add.

In case that someone who was their friend some time ago will come along. Not for company. No. In this place knowing that you're not alone is enough. no need to interact. The spare pillows and blankets are for those who have the courage to take some steps towards our grieving and pain and... just to hold our hands.

Among others like me, we are not alone. If you want to came and take me back, please do it.

I will be here.

here we are standing
in a absolute time
were seconds seek minutes
are split seconds all we have?
and hours offers days
this makes me asking
about the current situation:
*are all lives dawn-to-dark?

I'm thinking of letting you go
somewhere you can be
free of my torch
that burns your ego
when you're drunk .

I'm thinking of letting you go
in the middle of the night
with too much alcohol
where you can be alone.

I'm thinking of letting you go
because you left me awhile a go.

therefore,
you don't need to go back in time
it's all here,
you can feel it, smell it and touch it
as long as you are creative to imagine.

It was your birthday
not long ago,
yesterday to make it clear,
and
I did not call
to sing the song
to wish you well
to say cheerful
'Happy birthday!'

It's time

for you to begin seeking

the great world

that is in front of you.

I could let myself down in an acrylic tub full of tears
and no one will notice its springing from my eyes.

I could let myself down on the cold ground of winter earth
and no one will notice I will be part of him from now on.

I could not speak a word or write one
and no one will notice the silent that eats parts of me
as I become none.

I could tell you stories of what I feel inside
I could tell you stories of what desire felt like
I could and could and could
but I won't and won't and
won't.

you break my heart
you reap my soul
with no remorse
and no tears in eyes.

today we count down
years since your first breath
so let's take a moment to recall it all.
              
                         ...

I've been whispering you
Happy Birthday
since ten years ago.

One decade seeing you grow
becoming the man you always
been wishing for.

Happy birthday my dear husband
and happy many years
together dancing.

I will continue to wake you up
in the middle of the night
to whisper softly
'Happy birthday Adrian!'

sounds of voices
or music or noises,
words or video
all around me,
touching the screen
or pad or keyboard,
like a body
this web is part of my life,
we call it internet,
a great place where I express myself
with pictures, poems
and other stuff.

She struggles for more
But
She settles for less,
Breathing slowly
Face down on the cold ground.
She wrote HELP
Even if no one read
There is a HOPE
That tomorrow is not too late.