From youth
To grace
Lines etched in
My face
Set at
A pace
When gone
No trace

I press this imaginary gun to my temple
And pray to any gods that can hear
"Please calm the storm of my mind"
The sea I sail so violent and choppy
I could capsize at any moment
Without warning
Drowning on the thoughts
"I need air!"
That one still moment
As I breath in the water
And sink
In a sailors grave
So deep that I do not know which way is up
The darkness consuming my soul
A thousand imaginary creatures
Stripping the flesh from my bones
Just to be reanimated
Brought back from death
To suffer the same fate each day

When you decide to give your all to just one person
Make sure they're in it too or you'll worsen
If they backhand you with lies and decipt
Take 'em back to the store with receipt
Cos they're faulty, they're broken not you
Don't except less just because they can't show they love you

I like feeling broken
Jus like a token
A **** that's stolen
Yeah

I don't want to drink or think or ink,
I don't want to wash or sleep or take a single second away from the truth that I've hurt the person I care about more than I could ever comprehend.
You mean everything to me and I've undone the fabric of my own existence,broken my own reality,and for what?
Some stupid twisted episode?
I'm a ******* loser,I lost my life,my future wife,to experience strife,like a mug.
I sabotaged my own happiness because I see nothing but a single moment and flare up like some pretentious *****.
God I'm sorry,
I'm hurt and I deserve it.
You deserve every happiness in life and I brought you pain.
I'm nothing.
I'm glad you realised that because without your push I would of held you down,
I love you so much that i'd hold you back with idiocracy,some twisted ideal that it'd all be fine,you'd be mine but i'd stop you from being happy and you deserve more.

You lit me
You got close
You watched me melt
I burned you
You blew me out

Diving so deep into the meaning of anything
Because I can't for the life of me remember who I am

****
I opened up
I told them that I'm mortal
That I'll die
Of some stupid virus
****
I'm too strong
what if I'm wrong?
****
What about my son
**** ****
Fuuuuck
****

Pride aside,I try to hide
But its killing me inside
Leaving wounds so wide
I feel like I've already died

What is ten words about?
I just don't get it.

I am death
You feel me breathing
I watch you
While you're sleeping

I have ambition
It'll consume your drive
Its my mission
To ******* you alive

I want your soul
I want your life
I'll take you whole
But you'll hold the knife

Even on the joy filled days,
I can get very low and very lonely.
When my spirit breaks,friends are absent,
And I can't even talk to my one and only.

So I drink until I'm too drunk to stay awake,
The only brief reprieve I can depend on.
I wondered if I died today,
How long would it take anyone to notice I'm gone?

At least I have my alcohol,
It'll always be by my side.
And even if it kills me,
At least it gave me time for an awesome ride.

The wind may howl harsh
The tree does not move an inch
As its roots are strong

Didn't even feel
Myself come
I'm numb
Its dumb

Failed suicides
Fail *** life
Can't make anyone happy
What is this...strife

If I had a couple thou'
I'd probably double down
Keep well what I love
But it'll leave me with a frown

I'm a clown

Sat shaking I make the choice
I will drink,I can't function this way
Nothing I do with my voice
Could help what I have to do today

I must remain focused,calm
Keep my eye on the prize
I have no qualm
Nor will I sever ties

By my own admission
I have made a mess
It was my decision
Into eyes my fingers I do press

I have
            not yet finished
But the love
                       i have is diminished
Its not
             that I'm giving up
Its that I think
                          I've had enough
Now I'll give
                        only what I get
Which is not a lot
                                on that I'll bet
I require
                what's worth fighting for
Not what leaves
                              me rotting to the core

Without you there is no light
I couldn't brave the days that are all night
To think that you could slip from my sight
Tooth and claw I would fight

You are the one I hold dear
You are the one I want near
You are the love that casts out fear
Without you,lonely as a single tear

Stone my eyes red
leave my body for ash
I'm already dead
A fatal blow and dash

Let's just pretend for a second that everything is okay,
Maybe I will finally take my coat off after days of sitting in one place,
Or maybe I'll realize I'm lying to myself.
Sadness reaching up my throat but I choke on a thousand things never said,I doubt I'll say them either.
For my hearts sake id persure happiness but for her sake I should keep my distance.
**** this selfish heart of mine holding fast to her words.
**** this selfish brain replaying memories.

A million
Drops of vermilion
Leave the place I like to hide
Sick of all the fears within

I don't want to be alone
I guess I should of grown
Deep down inside
I already know

That this is the real world
I couldn't hold a real girl
Stretch,from being furled
Shake of the feeling of being whirled

Find a right head space
Get my own place
In God find grace
Go at my own pace

Broke the rule
Lost my cool
Played the fool
Like a tool

I want to take a journey into the depths of space
I want to find all the beauty out there I see in you
I could spend a lifetime looking for what I see in just your face
But i'd rather make that trip less lonely,will you come too?

I asked for help.
She wanted to see.
I didn't think she would understand,
But she did.
And she told me I'm stupid,
But we all make mistakes.
She asked why,
I answered because it all gets to much and I can't express myself like a real human being.
I feel like an outsider to the outsiders of the human race.
I'm never truly happy.
She listened so contently without the judgement she had all those years ago.
She held my hand and my arm saying it'll get better.
The patches weren't big enough but it'll make do.
I think she understands and accepts me for what I am now,
But it makes me feel like an awful person.
She is so good to me,
I'm sorry for all the times we stopped talking.
I'm sorry you had to see me like this.
I love you and thank you.

Snap me
  Back to reality
     Like twigs
        Broken underfoot
             I am just something
               Below you
                  And I never once
                      Deserved to be secure
                           Or happy
                              I can live with that now

The wound is pain and misery
How deep could this inscision be
Many a thought imprisons me
How I long to be set free

Some people wanna try to take it all
Make sure they step back or bust 'em in the ******* jaw
Sorry to bring it to you real raw
I just can't stand to see my friends broken anymore

Anyone else ever wonder how deep you could get a knife into your own chest before you backed out.
like, could you go rib to rib,front to back like some people do behind your back?

I'm a failure
And I lost

I can hear you
But I'm not listening
I can see you
But I'm not watching
I can feel you
But I'm not touching

*You will always be in my heart

No amount of food will fill the void
No alcohol will silence my mind
No **** could fix my heart
No cut could could raise my soul
I am the living dead
Wandering through life without aim or purpose
Waiting for the vessel to die as the light inside has

"help"* I silently scream
As I drift into a nightmare
"what happened to the dream?"
*"It was right there"

Subltle,smooth
Quite and sharp
Light he way
When it is dark

Such is she
The perfect creature
Down to each
Athstetic feature

Nothing she
Is made of true
Would leave the eye
Wanting more from you

The way she moves,
Hugs and kisses
Makes me happy,
To call her my missus
So very soft spoken,
Like a a voice on the wind
Yet still full of power,
Not an ounce of it thinned
She gives love in abundance,
Though I can be hard to see
But I know that it's there,
After all she's still with me

What is life
but moments fleeting
While we're waking
While we're dreaming
Nothing ever what it's seeming
Before we've come
Already leaving